Kim has the snuffles. People grimace at her flying mucus germs.
Roya gets the goo trifecta of snot, sweat, and hair product.
I believe Kourt says in the talking head bit that she doesn’t want Kim contaminating the whole house. Lady, I have 4 letters for you: SSRI.
So Kim calls Dr. Boris.
He says he can’t diagnose her over the phone. She asks if they have doctors in Miami who can help her. I don’t know how to answer that. Neither does Dr. Boris.
Khloe and Kim go out exploring. They ask a random dude on the street for help finding some Cuban coffeeditos, and they talk about being “woke right up”. Then, they may or may not buy a bag of detergent from this blurry-faced dude and his friend.
Kourt tells her sisters Scott just said he wanted a third child. Er, last episode was sarcasm, I think. Or facetiousness, at least. Also it’s been established that Scott has the hornies. I don’t know why he doesn’t just rub one or ten out in one of the 28 rooms in that house. It’s quicker and he doesn’t have to do any listening afterward. I’ve finally realized that Scott is 12, and his function on the show is to just make crude innuendo to whomever’s around.
Hopefully Mason will be grown up soon to help Kourt travel with 2 more babies if she has another. That is, if QVC has them back to hawk whatever they’re hawking in 2015. Or they could just replace her. Like a Dick Sargent/Dick York/Beckies on Roseanne thing. Someone named Ckourtney (not Love) could just show up and play her.
Because the current situation is not. Acceptable. To Choadan, a random but special and fiercely devoted friend of Kim. He and Kourt have words about how his head’s up Kim’s ass and Kourt doesn’t do any work and she’s a bitch. WTF is Choadan’s stake in this? What is his stake in her life ever? WhoTF asked him for a response to (my boyfriend) John Hamm when he said Kim was a vacuous idiot, or whatever. STFU, Choad. Nobody likes you, for real.
The Slap Heard ‘Round the Room
As reality TV slap scenes go, this one’s way down there on the list. If this was a trading card, you’d need like 250 of them to equal one NSFW Pumkin Spits on New York.
His face does kind of have a red hand outline on it afterward. I guess he was kinda keyed up after having taken a treacherous moped ride (after which Kim just bought 4 mopeds for the fam, blase as you please about it, like she’s picking up a couple 6-packs for a party. Because what Kourtney needs right now is a moped. Or Scott. Or Khloe, we learn shortly. Now Kim… maybe my dream of her head bouncing behind a semi really will come true.)
I miss this nitwit.
Kim has to give away Mercy, and Kanye, I’m afraid the blame lies with you for this one. Because the cat got sick and died a couple months later, allegedly from a breeder-related condition. A DOZEN OR TWO ROSES WOULD HAVE DONE THE TRICK. I wouldn’t put it past these soulless gashes to have retroshot all these allergy doctor scenes to cover up the fact that she just forgot about the cat and it wandered off.
You rubbed what on your psoriasis?
Then Khloe goes on her whole gotta-have-my-coffee moped spree in the middle of the night, during which she drops her keys down a sewer grate while she’s hamming it up and throwing herself against closed Cuban coffee shop window after door after… woman, can you not afford a cappuccino maker? Or just a Keurig? Scott has to come pick her up from near where the bath salts incident happened, and it’s like that time on The Simpsons when Lisa stayed on the bus all the way past Crackton. And Khloe just leaves her brand new moped in a ditch or something.
Then they have scenes where they talk about the scenes that already happened and WE WERE THERE and I’m just so distracted by all the restaurants. I need to go make myself either a martini or a latte. ‘Til next time, my lovelies!
This is me a lot of 5:49 ams, except their couch is less purple and where I have walls, they have other rooms.