Welcome back, Gasmii. As we speak, two gentlemen are in the cellar blasting away at the cement and my dogs are freaking out. Yay. Welcome to Episode 2 of LA Shrinks – and I gotta say I am already disappointed and annoyed. I don’t know why – it’s Bravo, after all. They wouldn’t know what reality meant if it smacked them in the face. And I was unable to find this week’s episode online without paying for it, so my screen captures are limited. There are two I want you to see, so I hope to have them next week. Ihave “substitute photos” for your enjoyment.
First – thanks to Jennnaboa for relaying the following info: Eris is the Greek goddess of discord, sister and constant companion of good old War god Ares. She and Aphrodite (Venus) didn’t get on that well. Interesting. Eris is also the most massive known dwarf planet in the Solar System. I’d rather think of our good doctor as the latter. Evil, I know. I also have some interesting dirt, I mean info, on two of our three therapists. Our Dr. V is a busy gal. According to HuffPo, she’s a frequent contributor to CNN, writes columns for two popular women’s web sites I’ve never heard of, and offers “sassy” relationship advice on Facebook. Eris, our aforementioned dwarf planet, is CEO of Love Etc. Inc. It’s too cutsey. She doesn’t sound serious about her work. What I found interesting is that she wrote a book with her hubby Clayton. I have no idea what his credentials are. The book is about transforming your break ups into breakthroughs. I guess it’s do as I say, not as I do, because that aphrodisiac meal from the last episode went to waste. I think I figured out what is bothering me. They don’t feel like a couple. They don’t have any chemistry on screen; in fact, he kinda seems a little brotherly. I mean – look at this photo I got from her site:
Trying waaaay too hard here. They look like an ad for Doublemint Gum.
Last, we have Greg, who is now my favorite. He’s the only one who comes off as sincere. I also like his client, Elizabeth. She cracks me up. He has a simple website that explains what he does and how to contact him. Of the three, I’d go to him. Now onto the recap, just as soon as I stop my dog from trying to help the workers downstairs.
We open with the dulcet sounds of Dr. V’s couple Michael and Georgie having sex. It mixes really well with the sound of breaking concrete from my basement. Ew. Oh, it gets better, people. We then find out that he doesn’t like to, ahem, “forage in the forest” because the forest is way too hairy. Oy vey. Dr. V tells him to respect the va-hay-jay, (keeping the spelling), but maybe Georgie should hire a landscaping team to cut a path to the promised land, as it were. As for the tape, Dr. V detects that they’re both drama queens and that she a dominant and he’s a submissive. Don’t worry, Mikey. According to our dear doctor, the submissive has all the power. I’m confused. I don’t care. For their next session, they’re going to a sex shop and playing dress up. I’m going to need something to clean my eyes.
This will work.