On to Episode 3. Fabio’s mommy Renza is coming to visit for a week. You can tell in about two seconds that Fabio’s a mommy’s boy. Big time. He says, “I’m 34 years old, and she still thinks ’m seven.” Gee, how many other ethnic families are like that? All of them, Fabio. Upon arriving, Mom immediately goes upstairs and makes Fabio’s bed, and he’s attempting to get her to stop. Can I give you some advice? Let her clean and cook. She’s gonna do it no matter what you say. She’ll be happy and occupied and you get pampered. It’s a win/win in my book.
Should I show Mom my extensive cookbook collection?
Jen is working a charity dinner for The Hamels Foundation, which was founded by Philadelphia Phillies pitcher Cole Hamels and his wife Heidi Strobel. Heidi had a fifth place finish on Survivor: Amazon. I remember her as the girl who stripped for peanut butter. I won’t bother you about how much I love the Phillies, or how I’ve been a Phillies fan since I was 10, or how devastated I am that they have been sliding backwards since they won the World Series.
Jen, as you recall from her saying it over and over and over, has no restaurant. Her sous chefs have graciously agreed to work for free, and Jen has enlisted the help of her relatives to help with the prep. I love that her family is close. Once again, Jen is making weird shit. She’s serving an “adventurous” menu that includes crispy duck hearts, some kind of green soup, and other things you would never think to eat. She’s hoping the people showing up will remember her food when she eventually opens her restaurant. Oh, they’ll remember you, Jen.
Apparently Nickelodeon slime is an exotic food. Who knew?
Later, Jen and her dad go to the New Egypt raceway, where Dad spent his time building and racing off-road dirt vehicles. Jen takes one practice ride around the track and then enters a race! Is she crazy? She comes in last place at a solid 20 miles per hour. Dad was proud, and that’s all that counts. I doubt she’ll be doing that again, though.
What car has better mileage – this or a Prius?
Spike is having fun. Again. When the hell does he actually work? He’s in Quebec for his cousin’s wedding and tells us his family is from Canada. Interesting. He then proceeds to tell us that he’s skiing on the morning of the wedding. You know what’s gonna happen next, don’t you? I can see it coming from a mile away. He’s brought along a date, something he hasn’t done before. Woo hoo for you, Spike. He’s then says something incredible. He says his motto is “Work hard, play hard.” I have not seen any of the “work” side of that motto. Throwing out vague suggestions to your parents or lifting a lid on a pot in one of your family’s restaurants ain’t working, bub. To make a long story short, Spike and his friends get stuck on a ski lift for about an hour, and he runs out of gas on the way back, so he’s late. Now I’ve got to wonder if this wasn’t planned for the cameras. Hmmm…