Liz and Dick Minicap: Who’s Afraid of Actually Watching This?

Recaps

By SourCake | Monday, November 26, 2012 | 5:38 pm | 8 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps

** Just wanted to let all the glamour lovers know I had this ready to go last night but then my internet connection decided to kick back, stick a rock in the pipe, grab a lighter and quit fucking working.  Sorry all. **

Hey lovely gasmites! I’m hard at work at the actual recap but I wanted to get a few of my disjointed thoughts out for you to chew on.  And savour.  And if you are coming off of watching Liz and Dick, you definitely need a palate cleanse.

  1. First, some stats.  I’ve never seen a Lindsay Lohan movie (nope, not even Mean Girls).  I have seen several Elizabeth Taylor films.  I’ve even seen the 1995 Liz biopic starring the delicious Sherilynn Fenn.
  2. Lohan’s face is JACKED.  It looks painful.  Grant Bowler is mildly offensive as a bargain basement Alec Baldwin with a hint of another actor I can’t quite put my finger on.
  3. This movie was simultaneously not as bad as I feared and much, much worse.  It’s sin it that it is BORING.  It distills two iconic personalities into one-dimensional cariactures that you actually want to see fail.  This just shouldn’t fucking happen people!
  4. It is cheap.  The makeup, the clothes, the sets, the dialogue.  Ugly and cheap.
  5. I started watching the clock twenty minutes in.  It was like I fell into a time vortex, minutes crawled by so slowly.  Again, while you are watching a show that pops all over the world, from Sardinia to Botswana, from Montreal to London and uses some iconic movies like Cleopatra  and  Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf as plot points, to be bored by the first commercial break is unforgivable.

So that’s it for now.  My brain is steaming with insults and side-eyes and I have to warm up my screenshot finger.  Catch you in a few days with a full bowl of steaming mean recap.

SourCake
About

Situated in the Canadian hinterlands, SourCake can be (and has been) described as layabout, gadabout, welfare mom, world traveller, SAHM and a fairly good time at a reasonable price. Past interests include hotboxing and kickboxing but not foxxyboxxing. Current interests seem limited to diaper changes and scrapbooking.

8 Comments

  1. 1
    polk8dot
    Posted November 26, 2012 at 6:34 pm

    Holy Shitballs!!!!

    What a Piece of Absolute Crap!

    Lasted thru 3 minutes after the front credits. Wanted to actually see if I can watch it purely for spiteful, hateful fun-poking, but…. no dice.
    I think Elizabeth has turned in her grave in total disgust.

    Lets just hope that this ‘gem’ will help all the naive Cracken supporters get the idea of her ‘comeback’ out of their system for good.

  2. 2
    Khakie
    Posted November 26, 2012 at 7:28 pm

    I hate Lindsey.

  3. 3
    mere2142
    Posted November 26, 2012 at 7:42 pm

    I’m recording this tonight. My friend from work told me Creed from the Office plays a producer. I can’t wait to see the train wreck.

  4. 4
    bubblesballentine
    Posted November 26, 2012 at 8:12 pm

    “I’m bored! I’m SO bored!”

    So are we, dear. So are we!

  5. 5
    FleshEatingUnicorn Kay
    Posted November 26, 2012 at 9:49 pm

    I could not stomach this.

    I only saw the ads and I knew this was going to be awful…

    So instead I played on my smule piano app on my iPad…because Lifetime can suck it.

    Thank you for watching this hot mess… Cannot wait for the recap XD

  6. 6
    greenmonster
    Posted November 27, 2012 at 12:23 am

    Grant Bowler reminds me in some of the pictures of Sean Bean.

  7. 7
    Dear Crabby
    Posted November 28, 2012 at 6:01 am

    Thanks for taking one for the team…I jumped over to watch a couple of times that night and wow…it was AWFUL! The dialogue was terrible, you are so right in that they jumped all over but the worst part is I really doubt Liz Taylor apologized that much. Come on! And every time I saw Lindsay, I felt like she was playing dress up, and that alcohol/drug-ravaged voice of hers is a dead giveaway to the actress she so isn’t.

    Can’t wait for the recap!

  8. 8
    suedisco
    Posted November 28, 2012 at 11:19 am

    Grant Bowler reminds me of Dylan Walsh from Nip/Tuck. Particularly in your screencap.D

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