Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.
Honestly, when the jewelry looks like something I could easily afford, you’ve failed, producers.
For two actors playing such wealthy people, they dress in appallingly cheap clothes. And Lohan’s face often looks dirty instead of made-up. Liz in the late 60s and 70s wore a lot of makeup. But her face looked made up, not dirty.
Sorry, just wanted to rest my eyes for a minute. She is magnificent, non?
The action moves to London as Liz and Richard film The VIPs. It’s just a flimsy backdrop against their drinking and fighting and fucking. I know Elizabeth Taylor was an earthy, blowsy, sultry woman. What I have a hard time picturing is her looking as trashy and truck stop as Lindsay Lohan slinking across the room in a poorly cut and ill-fitting slip only to hike up her skirt and sit on Grant Bowler’s lap. Horrifying. And that scene where Elizabeth pounds a nail into the wall of the hotel so she can hang the Van Gogh? I can see Elizabeth Taylor doing something so self-centered and destructive. But I can also see her getting away with it because she was fundamentally a charming and magnetic person. The way Lohan is playing her, I wanted to see her get turfed for property damage. I just cannot describe how singularly charmless Lohan’s Taylor was.
We follow the lusting, selfish duo from the Old World to the New. They land in Montreal where they get married and begin an artistic life in New York. We’re an hour and a quarter in before we get to Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf.
Again, sideshot equals a shot that is not jarringly Lindsay Lohan is playing dressup and failing miserably.
There is no story – just an endless series of two rather ugly people drinking and fighting and pissing money against a supposed backdrop of Euro hotspots. Because this was shot on a shoestring, we don’t actually see much more than hotel rooms and cars. It couldn’t be a more obvious Lohan-exploitation flick if they actually Photoshopped in a billboard that said “We only hired her so you idiots would watch this trainwreck.” Every other character is barely sketched in. Grant Bowler, a poor man’s Alec Baldwin with a hint of seedy, drunken, quotidian Sean Bean rather than sexy heroic Lord of the Rings Sean Bean.
This movie is a disgrace. It took a story that had already been written – gloriously! – and turned it into turgid tripe. La Liz’s cancer scare is used merely as a device to get Richard back by her side. She whines “I want Richard,” the way I whine “I want a magazine and a cup of coffee.” Infuriating. The most realistic part of the endless two hours were the scenes set in the 80s when Burton died. Lindsay, not surprisingly with all her terrible plastic surgery and dead eyes, carried the 80s style off with a dollar-store-Joan-Collins panache.