Love in the Wild Recap: Another Beginning

Recaps

By MrsMiaWallace | Friday, June 8, 2012 | 6:00 am | 10 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Love in the Wild, Recaps

Hungry for Young LoveToo much plastic surgery Jenny McCarthy, too much.

 

Welcome to Love in the Wild! Hosted by a genuine cougar! My personal hope is show is a cross between the Bachelor (too Disney) and Temptation Island (too trashy), with just the right mix of narcissists and morons! I will disclaim that I was surprised to hear this is a second season but I am confident I can catch right up on the plot during the opening credits.

They’re not paying me enough to open my eyes

We find ourselves in the Dominican Republic with old as hell Jenny McCarthy explaining that we are going to meet 14 men and women to compete in a show that is actually a mix of Fear Factor and Bachelor Pad. Fear Bachelor.  They are supposed to compete in extreme challenges while bonding into love. Or loving bondage. The winning couple gets a trip around the world. That is a great prize, but I think I’d rather have cash than even more time with a guy that undoubtedly smells like Axe Body Spray. The group comes in and Jenny attempts a little humor, no one laughs. Some things never change. They just get pumped full of poison and spackled with pancake.

I’m totally fine with being on a show with hot 20-somethings!

Remember when she was so outrageous and raunchy, but still hot? No one does. Especially not a group of people not yet born when she was famous. I for one, and glad the contestants all seem on the low end of 20 and there are no seriously tragic stories or parents in the bunch. Hallelujah for casual hookups! Suck it, bachelorette!

The girls get to choose men to couple up with and the usual awkwardness ensues when one man is of course picked last.  We have, in order of who they thought was important enough to discuss!

Cina – A hot asian who is a pioneer in breaking stereotypes that asian women are demure and servile to their men and/or smart.Girl Power!

Chase – Selected by Cina, a hot Marine who was dumped by his un-patriotic girlfriend when he told her he was going to war. This dude is not getting eliminated.

“That bitch was a terrorist”

Tara – Cute, very dumb blonde who is full of herself and always gets what she wants, especially if what she wants is Paris Hilton’s baby voice

There’s no such thing as too young for botox

Tim – He is chosen by Tara and proudly claims the douche banner early by lamenting that he was scoping out another girl. He looks eerily like a young Dr. Cox from Scrubs.

“You have diabetes and you can’t eat cupcakes”

Summer – Gorgeous leggy girl with a down-to-earth claim that she wants a man who will hunt down an animal, skin it and make her a purse instead of buying one. Wrong show sweetheart, Man vs. Wild is stage left, this is Spray Tan vs Cabana.

“There are men here who don’t shave their legs, right?”

Jesse – Somehow he fits the “manly” bill, but boringly spouts platitudes about love and finding “the one”. He clearly has been trying out for the Bachelor every year. 

Welcome to the B Squad!

Jenny – At first glance an unfortunate, out-of-place ginger (and I LOVE my ginger sisters) who is wearing clothes that do her no favors, but cleans up pretty well for interview.

This is how redheads should dress

She caught her bf of five years cheating though so she brought lots of baggage to the island, hopefully something in there flatters her skin type! She really seems adorably awkward as they show her tripping while selecting her man.

Albino chimpanzees deserve love too

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MrsMiaWallace is an east coast girl with a  penchant for travel, libations and great cuisine. She is not known to turn down a mimosa or a martini and finds the transition between the two a good way to mark the passing of time since she can never remember to wear a watch. Her secret love for reality tv and addiction to Bravo have drawn her like a moth to the glittering snark of TVGasm,  where she finds there are others like her... hopefully also nursing Bloody Marys.

10 Comments

  1. 1
    Mummy Butterfly
    Posted June 8, 2012 at 7:02 am

    YAY! I am so glad this show is being recapped. I cannot stand Jenny M – but was intrigued by the show. Reading your recaps are BETTER than watching the show – all the snark, none of the Jenny M’s voice!

    I agree that it is “Chase the Marine” show to lose. And I love Ginger Head girl. :)

  2. 2
    featherhead
    Posted June 8, 2012 at 7:07 am

    I give those girls props – cause there is no way in hell that anyone is lowering me down into a pit of hell with all those snakes!! I love this show and was glad to see it back this season. And better yet, awesome recap!

  3. 3
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted June 8, 2012 at 7:12 am

    Mummy, I know what you meant, but I giggled like a sixth grade boy at your description!!,

    feather, so agree about the snakes. Yikes!

    And MrsMW, thank you so much for watching this so we won’t have to, mmmmmwwwwwaaaaa.

  4. 4
    polk8dot
    Posted June 8, 2012 at 12:34 pm

    I watched this show in its first season last year. The premise itself is fun, and the picturesque surroundings made it easy on the eyes (the nature shots were OK, too, hehe).
    The only thing that I thought was going to keep me from watching the next season, if it ever came, was the fricking Australian host. He was unbearable! I swear he made even that awesome, hot accent somehow annoying. So I was extatic to hear that there is a new host this time.
    Oh, s#it!!!! Beware what you wish for!
    I never suspected that anything could make me wish for that Aussie weirdo to come back, but ‘Jenny’ (I refuse to just call her that as a real name, it sounds like a stage prop or something; but then on her, probably only some stripper name would sound natural) – oh, yeah, she’s it.
    This bit@h’s voice is killing me!!! For the love of all that is good, WHO gave her this job? Did they not realize she was going to have TO TALK?!
    Mother of…, that constant screaching, that incessant ‘humor’ forcing, that delusion of remaining ‘hotness’ are f-ing pathetic.
    I shall from now on call her THE SHRILL. :)

  5. 5
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted June 8, 2012 at 1:24 pm

    Polk8, am I correct in assuming that you’re not a huge fan of the host?

  6. 6
    itchy itchy
    Posted June 8, 2012 at 2:33 pm

    It’s always difficult to know exactly how Polk8dot feels. Such a diplomat.

  7. 7
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted June 8, 2012 at 2:43 pm

    I know, itchy. That’s why I wanted clarification. Reading between the lines is so harrrrrd.

  8. 8
    Sarah
    Posted June 9, 2012 at 12:30 am

    Love the recap! I will look forward to it each week. My only “reality” guilty-pleasure was “The Apprentice”, so I’m happy to find this show to take its place. Perfectly summed up as being both less Disney yet less trashy as well. Thanks for the laughs…
    …Oh, and just for the record, Leo was actually cavorting in the pool in his UNDERWEAR, not a Speedo in Episode 1. (Note how they had to blur his package, as his little underpants showed a bit too much when wet – Ugh!)

  9. 9
    itchy itchy
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 3:44 pm

    Ah, see, I’m a sucker for southern princesses, so that pretty much says it all. There’s something off about most of the other girls’ faces — especially Summer (and her boy hips) and the Monkey Girl, but the Argentinean girl too. The redhead seems kind of frumpy — she’s covering up. But at least her tits seem real.

    The guys are just your typical slab-0-beef reality Ken dolls.

    Also, Jenny McCarthy may be annoying but she at least a bit more animated than the soulless stiff they had last season.

  10. 10
    ludlow
    Posted June 13, 2012 at 7:22 am

    I watched this show last year and it was my guilty pleasure. I didn’t find the host as annoying as the commentor above and was dismayed to find Jenny McCarthy now center stage – she’s awful. I do think it’s much more interesting than all of the other “dating/love shows” because it shows situations where you have to count on your partner and it doesn’t sugar-coat the results. Last year there were some actual friendships/relationships that developed, according to Jenny, are still going. So for all of you newbies – enjoy!

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