Love in the Wild Recap: Loving Power

Ken is having trouble finding something to be mad about ever since Jesse left, so he decides to get annoyed that Cockney and Juggs have a 30 second head start on this challenge.

“That motherfucker”

They all head out to the challenge/field/meeting-place and it seems Summer’s tops are shrinking more every episode.

“Nip slip promised with prize”

Jenny M opens dressed in a tent and asking the men if the women are gold diggers. Cockney blurts out he “’opes not, cause I ‘ain’t got no gold” . Not shocking for a soccer coach in the Carolinas.

“Ah f#ck”

Turns out they need to be to complete the challenge by doing something that has a tangential relationship to gold. There are maps they have to assemble, a map they need to study to find the map pieces, a map they have to map and map map map. The twist is the first couple has a guaranteed spot AND gets to choose the couple to go home at the ceremony. Big stakes babies.

One of these tarps hides something people want to see

Since Juggy Cock gets 30 seconds to study the map of maps, the other teams have to blindfold themselves and wait for Jenny’s cue to go.

You may now take a shot for knowing this image would make an appearance

Instead of being stoked that they have a 30 second head-start, Cockney feels stress from the pressure to capitalize on it. I hope one of his tattoos translates to “burn out”. Fear of success proves once again to be more prevalent than fear of failure. Juggy Cock needs to look at the map and memorize where the markers are to find two map pieces. Maps! Ben is immediately flustered and they squander their lead as he runs thither and yon and declares “everything is a fence!”

“Even I, perhaps, am a fence”

Now the other groups are off in a frenzy with Ken immediately going for pep rally motivator and coming off more annoying asshole as he encourages the less physically inclined Yanina. Chase grabs the leadership role and Summer follows, but with constant confidence-undercutting commentary. If Summer can’t be the leader she can at least be the best at criticizing your attempts! They all find the map pieces in fairly quick succession with Kenina squeaking out a precarious lead.

“Right about here you should tell me I am an embarrassment to my ancestors”

The next leg is to again ride horses for a few meters for no reason whatsoever. Of course Summer is in heaven. But there’s no time for ecstasy in this pressure cooker.

“I never forgot you”