Love in the Wild Recap: Men’s Revenge

Recaps

By MrsMiaWallace | Thursday, June 21, 2012 | 2:00 pm | 5 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Love in the Wild, Recaps

The sluts have finally arrived!!! We left the gang last week losing the weakest links – Dr. Cox and Monkey Zombie , adieu! And with a few strong relationships (Yanina and Ken, Ali and Chase), a fledgling physical relationship (Tairheads), a begrudging friendship/crush combo (Ginger Cock), the strongest/weakest link (Ryan and Summer), and two anonymous people who spend their time foraging for berries and hiding from cameras apparently (Jason and Cina).

Uh-oh, malfunction in Sector 7

Chase gets to select first as the last challenge winner and he goes for Jenna (aka Minnie Mouse) because of her bubbly smile. If by bubbly he means “almost too much gum” then I agree.

Her teeth are slowly evacuating her mouth, all at once

Ryan chooses Natalie, who really would complete the set on Team Tairhead.

“This is the Dawson’s Reunion Show, right?”

Jesse opts for an even more pint-sized bubblehead named Melissa. But she is brunette. Tara warns that Melissa will be sleeping on the floor. Hope that’s where Jesse likes to fuck!

Jesse scopes the possibility of adding an Asian

Jason goes for Cheetah-print Vanessa. Vanessa seems to be vying with Yanina for oldest puma at the camp.

 

“this is Real Housewives: Jungle Edition, right?”

Ken chose Lindsay who is rather unfortunate looking and insists that she loves older men. I don’t think it’s going to factor in honey, he chose you as the least threatening girl left.

“I can has love?”

That leaves Ben with Michelle. That is at least kind to Jenny who didn’t have to see what kind of girl Ben actually likes.

Ben got a lovely bunch of coconuts, deedle dee dee dee, there they are

She is a “spokesmodel” meaning she works car shows and she looks like Teresa Guidice’s sluttier sister. Jenny stays firmly planted on crazy train saying her bond with Ben is so strong she isn’t threatened.  She lets Juggs know she has firmly formed a connection with Ben and he hasn’t talked to anyone but her. I guess she will be surprised at the footage of him trying to shake a monkey loose.

 Only part of the monkey came down though

He reassures her by saying the new girl might turn out to be “a real plonker”. I don’t speak Eliza Doolittle and have no clue if this means she will be an asset to the physical challenges and therefore useful to the happy couple, or boring and someone he’d never be interested in, but I get the feeling Ginger should still worry.

“The Plonker Shocker”

Ali appropriately says she was less threatened than appalled at the new girls’ wardrobe choices, revealing that southern cat we knew was lurking in her. It was an apt comment given she has been paired with Minnie Mouse, however the editors zoomed in on the Real Housewives of the Jungle for that comment, lol. Most of the guys are intrigued and open to meeting fresh meat, but Ken says he isn’t single and hopes his third wheel finds another barrow to burrow.

Don’t hold your breath

Jenny shows up with a freshly waxed midriff and makes a bad joke about vibrators that make me wish I was deaf and without sense of imagination. Their task is to find amber with a map and blah blah scavenger hunt. Of course the stakes are accommodations and also order during elimination ceremony. The best part is they all get shackled together. NBC is not into subtlety.

The twist is the poison is everywhere EXCEPT the apple

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MrsMiaWallace is an east coast girl with a  penchant for travel, libations and great cuisine. She is not known to turn down a mimosa or a martini and finds the transition between the two a good way to mark the passing of time since she can never remember to wear a watch. Her secret love for reality tv and addiction to Bravo have drawn her like a moth to the glittering snark of TVGasm,  where she finds there are others like her... hopefully also nursing Bloody Marys.

5 Comments

  1. 1
    Robin Robinez
    Posted June 21, 2012 at 5:50 pm

    The publicity pic on the homepage…Take a close look. Lots of “spot the”… For example- Ape on the left side about 1/4 from the bottom, cherubs in the “clouds, the waterfall has a particularly cool pic.

    Apparently they thought this would be really neat. I think it may be clues. But then that would be giving them alot of credit and this show isnt so credible. Although I must admit that it is much better than that stupid Glass House ABC is trying to pass off as a version of BB.

    Headed off to read the recap.

    TC, Robin

  2. 2
    TVgasm Addict
    Posted June 21, 2012 at 8:56 pm

    This recap is hilarious, MrsMia! Pretty much every line is pure snark gold. Here’s my top 5 funniest lines:

    Vanessa seems to be vying with Yanina for oldest puma at the camp.
    The Plonker Shocker
    Marcus Luttrell couldn’t survive an angry Woman Over 30.
    Riddles for Idiots
    Juggy McGingerCock

    I have to say this is my favorite summer tv show, at least until Big Brother ups the trash tv ante. And I ended up liking the twist of adding in new girls. Agreed…Ginger Jenny did let the crazy out too soon, and in a Stage 5 clinger sort of way. The Southern Cat version of Ali was a surprise, but it’s boring to watch normal people on tv, so…bring it, girl. Tair seemed for real pissed at Jesse. I still laugh about her calling him fake as hell. I’m aready looking forward to reading your next recap for this totally snarkable show!

  3. 3
    carol
    Posted June 21, 2012 at 10:19 pm

    I liked that they brought in the new girls after bringing in the new guys, it caused more drama. Realistically, wouldn’t getting unselected/dumped during this episode be the equivalent of not being called back after two, maybe three dates? Yes, they might have slept in the same bed, but how honest were they really being with each other since they were being filmed the whole time. As soon as the new girls came out, I knew Ginger was gone.

    I still don’t know any of their names, but since this recap was so great, it didn’t matter at all. This show would not be as great if it was not being recapped.

    Does anyone else cringe every time Jenny says anything? It’s just embarrassing to watch. The sad thing is I bet she thinks she is being hilarious.

  4. 4
    itchy itchy
    Posted June 22, 2012 at 12:11 am

    I pretty sure the Tairheads did more than just sleep next to each other. Which is why she was so flustered. Although I agree with him, I’d go for Ali too. Except… now that we know she’s 33, it kind of raises a red flag… why is she still single? Unless there’s a divorce/widow story they haven’t revealed yet, you gotta wonder.

    They ought to keep bringing in new contestants every week, although maybe not a whole field, maybe just one or two, keep things juicy. Then it’d become more like Forever Eden, the greatest reality television show of all time.

    I’m not sure why any of the girls would go for the British guy and the skeevy rash he has all over his chest and arms.

  5. 5
    Mummy Butterfly
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 6:35 am

    Don’t watch the show – LOVE the recaps. Is it humanly possible to request FEWER pictures of the “host”? I cringe even when I see her picture – her voice appears in my head. She is the curse of the 90′s…and I’m so sorry I was watching MTV during that decade. It NEVER GOES AWAY. THE VOICE. THE VOICE!

    It will be interesting, now that it seems there won’t be any more new people showing up. Got to stay with what you see…

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