Love in the Wild Recap: Men’s Revenge

Recaps

By MrsMiaWallace | Thursday, June 21, 2012 | 2:00 pm | 5 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Love in the Wild, Recaps

The first task is pulling a map off a tree. Jenny admits she doesn’t want to win because she doesn’t want to spend time with her obsession and another girl in the Oasis. Hasn’t she ever read anything about shared hardship building bonds!? Give those two mimosas and massages and they’ll hate each other by sundown!

“I’m probably a huge pain in the ass”

 Maybe the truth is she enjoys the soft buoyancy of Juggs pressed against her in the lean-to and hates to be stuck too far from her in the spacious Oasis. With the nightly rains having flotation devices so close must be a comfort.

The editors forget they’re rooting for Chase and show him confessing that Ali is 33 and Minnie is 23, so Ali would be the “more jaded” and Minnie “more positive” choice. Minnie’s positivity includes her laughing like a hyena and basically out-”girly girl”ing Ali. Is it possible we are now supposed to root for the Timeless Love Story of Yanina and Ken?? Also interesting to me that this whole time there have been no age reveals, but Chase dropped two at once. Marine training will not save you when Ali sees this aired. Marcus Luttrell couldn’t survive an angry Woman Over 30.

Yanina stops fluttering around long enough to swoon over how kind Ken is being to Lindsay. I admire her lack of jealousy, it shows the roots of her desperation are so deep she can no longer process other emotions.

The Unhappy Cock trio are first to a cave where one girl is to be temporarily jettisoned and the remaining duo rappel down for a challenge and a kiss. Ginger is winded from the run and insists Cockney go with Juggs… Only kidding, Ginger stresses her relationship again until Juggs wants to strangle them both with her sports bra and says for them just to go already. I actually gained a lot of respect for that mountain of silicone here for not engaging in this.

He’ll be in my cave later anyway

Jenny has her eyes on those British DSLs because he hasn’t kissed her in three days and she wants to see if “something is there”. Ginger, I suggest you read that sentence over and over again until you figure out this riddle.

Cockney whips out the “something”

There is a chest in the cave with a combination based on items in the cave and extremely simple math. The challenges really were phoned in for this episode. Or Jenny McCarthy got to make them up.

Riddles for Idiots

Despite their issues Ginger Cock retrieves ropes and maps first of the teams. Then Ginger forgets the map and gets a good cocking, er, lecturing that Ginger laugh off with a charming “oh shut up”. Cockney starts to connect the dots and feel there is sabotage afoot. Great setup for the most romantic kiss ever. He basically attacks her face with his and she feels her bubble bursting.

When Love Attacks

Jason and Jesse both choose their new sloots for the cave which is awkward, but Chase feels remorse for the Ali Age Reveal and takes her down with him. They are last place in the batcave but all the other boogers are not really far ahead. Most of the kisses are awkward face smashes but Jason seems to have finally found something finally worth camera time.

“Since the first time was just in your pants, sure”

Chase uses his lackluster kiss as an mental note to jettison 10 years and 100 pounds of Ali in the future. Jesse has a pretty steamy kiss, but since we know he tastes like Tara still it falls slightly short of “romantic”.

Doing his part to spread stds

Now there’s some sand, ropes, symbols, trees, triangulating, digging, and map-reading to find the amber. I’m not sure why no one had to do something scary or gross this time but I’m holding out for the Madagascar hissing beetles.

 “Now what’s the command to make Jenny McCarthy pull?”

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MrsMiaWallace is an east coast girl with a  penchant for travel, libations and great cuisine. She is not known to turn down a mimosa or a martini and finds the transition between the two a good way to mark the passing of time since she can never remember to wear a watch. Her secret love for reality tv and addiction to Bravo have drawn her like a moth to the glittering snark of TVGasm,  where she finds there are others like her... hopefully also nursing Bloody Marys.

5 Comments

  1. 1
    Robin Robinez
    Posted June 21, 2012 at 5:50 pm

    The publicity pic on the homepage…Take a close look. Lots of “spot the”… For example- Ape on the left side about 1/4 from the bottom, cherubs in the “clouds, the waterfall has a particularly cool pic.

    Apparently they thought this would be really neat. I think it may be clues. But then that would be giving them alot of credit and this show isnt so credible. Although I must admit that it is much better than that stupid Glass House ABC is trying to pass off as a version of BB.

    Headed off to read the recap.

    TC, Robin

  2. 2
    TVgasm Addict
    Posted June 21, 2012 at 8:56 pm

    This recap is hilarious, MrsMia! Pretty much every line is pure snark gold. Here’s my top 5 funniest lines:

    Vanessa seems to be vying with Yanina for oldest puma at the camp.
    The Plonker Shocker
    Marcus Luttrell couldn’t survive an angry Woman Over 30.
    Riddles for Idiots
    Juggy McGingerCock

    I have to say this is my favorite summer tv show, at least until Big Brother ups the trash tv ante. And I ended up liking the twist of adding in new girls. Agreed…Ginger Jenny did let the crazy out too soon, and in a Stage 5 clinger sort of way. The Southern Cat version of Ali was a surprise, but it’s boring to watch normal people on tv, so…bring it, girl. Tair seemed for real pissed at Jesse. I still laugh about her calling him fake as hell. I’m aready looking forward to reading your next recap for this totally snarkable show!

  3. 3
    carol
    Posted June 21, 2012 at 10:19 pm

    I liked that they brought in the new girls after bringing in the new guys, it caused more drama. Realistically, wouldn’t getting unselected/dumped during this episode be the equivalent of not being called back after two, maybe three dates? Yes, they might have slept in the same bed, but how honest were they really being with each other since they were being filmed the whole time. As soon as the new girls came out, I knew Ginger was gone.

    I still don’t know any of their names, but since this recap was so great, it didn’t matter at all. This show would not be as great if it was not being recapped.

    Does anyone else cringe every time Jenny says anything? It’s just embarrassing to watch. The sad thing is I bet she thinks she is being hilarious.

  4. 4
    itchy itchy
    Posted June 22, 2012 at 12:11 am

    I pretty sure the Tairheads did more than just sleep next to each other. Which is why she was so flustered. Although I agree with him, I’d go for Ali too. Except… now that we know she’s 33, it kind of raises a red flag… why is she still single? Unless there’s a divorce/widow story they haven’t revealed yet, you gotta wonder.

    They ought to keep bringing in new contestants every week, although maybe not a whole field, maybe just one or two, keep things juicy. Then it’d become more like Forever Eden, the greatest reality television show of all time.

    I’m not sure why any of the girls would go for the British guy and the skeevy rash he has all over his chest and arms.

  5. 5
    Mummy Butterfly
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 6:35 am

    Don’t watch the show – LOVE the recaps. Is it humanly possible to request FEWER pictures of the “host”? I cringe even when I see her picture – her voice appears in my head. She is the curse of the 90′s…and I’m so sorry I was watching MTV during that decade. It NEVER GOES AWAY. THE VOICE. THE VOICE!

    It will be interesting, now that it seems there won’t be any more new people showing up. Got to stay with what you see…

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