Love In the Wild Recap: The BJ Face Edition

Recaps

By MrsMiaWallace | Thursday, June 14, 2012 | 12:00 pm | 7 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Love in the Wild, Recaps

Jim Carrey, eat your heart out

Welcome Gasmii!!! We have our second episode of Love in the Wild and it’s the blowjob edition! But don’t expect any actual blowjobs, just BJ faces galore. I expected this episode would find the reality show tables turned and a host of loose, hot women released like locusts on our brow-beaten men. Also known as the STD Plague. This is a lesser known plague because the Pharaoh crumbled before Moses got around to it.

I did think about how this would shatter whatever small connections had been made to give them men options so early, and NBC must have too because this episode is all about bonding. We start of course by looking back at last week to see that nearly every minority has been drummed out and we are left with the usual network TV lineup plus one Asian chick! Everyone is celebrating with beers and congratulating themselves on recreating the cast of Friends.

This will never become “The Jennifer”

The crowd favorite, Chase the Marine (which sounds like a fun game to me), is happy to have his skill set featured in bunking with Ali in the Lean-to of Terror!

That seems like a lot of luggage for a manly man

He is used to hard conditions and breaking people down to build them back up again and that’s pretty much an exact prescription for working with Ali. I hate to admit that he is a way better match for the weak-willed southern princess than the BFF with the beautiful eyes she let go last week. He probably can’t braid her hair or match shoes with dresses as well though.

Ginger Jen is reveling in having Ben to herself in their tent and threatening him she will not be sleeping in worse conditions (foreshadowing, is that you?). Meanwhile, Cockney Ben, or the Gavin Rossdale/Carrot Top love child, is still feeling angst over not actually being that into the spunky ginger. He seems like a decent individual whose mix of kindness and aloofness is really just making the Ginger fall harder.

This apathy is giving me an ulcer

The fast-track couple is Ken and Yanina who are already canoodling in their cabin like, well, morons that just met. I smell second place! The audience likes to see growth, not instant magnets.

When desperation goes right

The crew comes out to watch Jenny try to be funny while propped up by a stick. I think the Botox is starting to spread to her lower limbs because I’ve never actually seen her walk or move anything but her mouth.

“Who here still finds me relevant?”

 

“No one”

She moves that incessantly however, and tells the group they will meet an old toothless man on their challenge that one team member must kiss.

Special kisses?

LOL only a joke! Kissing old men is only for has-beens who desperately need acting roles!

Special kisses… And then I was a host!

The stick holding up Jenny’s assemblage of real and synthetic body parts turns out to be a net they must build and use during another scavenger-like challenge. The rewards/punishments are the same as last time – accommodations and one winner’s reward up for grabs. Moving your stuff every couple of days would be punishment enough in my opinion. There is also a new rule that one woman and one man will be going home in the elimination.

 This box of crayons is about to get smaller

The teams scatter through a field to find net materials and maps and Chase is obviously all over it, making little Ali’s heart flutter. Cina and Jason spot a map but Cina falls and a chunk of bone comes shooting through her leg, incapacitating her.

Luckily downgraded to Class C Ouchie

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6

MrsMiaWallace is an east coast girl with a  penchant for travel, libations and great cuisine. She is not known to turn down a mimosa or a martini and finds the transition between the two a good way to mark the passing of time since she can never remember to wear a watch. Her secret love for reality tv and addiction to Bravo have drawn her like a moth to the glittering snark of TVGasm,  where she finds there are others like her... hopefully also nursing Bloody Marys.

7 Comments

  1. 1
    itchy itchy
    Posted June 14, 2012 at 12:45 pm

    Initially, I was prepared to give Ms. McCarthy a pass, but that voice! That horrid, grating voice! Everytime she speaks it’s like spikes being hammered into my ears!

    I like the show though. It has a similar spirit to Beauty and the Geek (the second-best reality show of all time, after Forever Eden).

    Summer scares the shit out of me. But as long as Ali wins it, I’m good. I’m happy Tara’s getting laid though.

    I bet none of the guys switch for the new bimbos — they’ve probably already developed a tribal mentality, and they’ve already eliminated the two weakest links in that.

    Speaking of which: they were teasing the new bimbos thing all episode and then… pfft! Enough to give a guy a case of reality tv blue balls.

  2. 2
    TVgasm Addict
    Posted June 14, 2012 at 7:42 pm

    I thought this episode was hilarious. The show is completely ridiculous, and since Jenny is also completely ridiculous, I don’t mind her as the host.

    MrsMia what is going on with the zombie monkey-ness? Geez was she psychotic or what? Since I watched her on tv, I am allowed to pass judgment here…Shauna sure did seem up tight and bitchy for a yoga instructor. And what was going on with the flesh toned lip gloss? Odd. Good bye Shauna, don’t let the door hit you on your exposed butt cheeks on the way out.

    Unlike you MrsMia, I may be developing a soft spot for Ben the Brit. British expressions are so funny. Even if a Brit guy is a total doucher, it somehow it gets disguised as clever because you’re never entirely sure what exactly they’re saying. Oh, and I love me some tatted up soccer players. That is all.

    I like Ali and Chase. Or maybe I just have a girl boner for Chase, and could take or leave Ali.

    Team Tairhead seem perfect for each other.

    Finally, dear Jason and Cina: Being stable and decent does not good tv make. One of you needs to flip your shit over something minor, and do it soon.

    Looking forward to the skank parade, or whatever it’s called, next week!

  3. 3
    ohhhyeah
    Posted June 14, 2012 at 8:59 pm

    In my opinion Ginger Jen is the best looking of the girls and probably the only one I could tolerate in real life, so it’s a shame she’ll be leaving us next episode.

    It would be great if they continued to bring in an alternate group of guys and girls after every elimination.

    This episode was a little tame, but I find it refreshing that the producers don’t seem overly intent on inventing or exaggerating storylines just for the sake of creating drama.

    “but I really appreciate we are not getting any platitudes on love being a leap and blind faith and blah blah Chris Harrison bullet to the brain.” Indeed; if that were the case I would not be watching.

    I hope they continue to put snake pit/cliff jumping type challenges into the competition. Seeing people lose their shit is my favorite part of the show.

  4. 4
    itchy itchy
    Posted June 14, 2012 at 11:45 pm

    I’m waiting for the show to have a competition like this:
    http://youtu.be/xsL7SXwMcZ8

    Although it would have been nice if they’d had something like this before that drinking problem douchebag got eliminated.

  5. 5
    #TeamTairhead
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 2:40 pm

    As a participant, I never comment on articles, but I have to say that this one is holyshit-hilarious. Thanks for the great read and keep it up.

  6. 6
    Mummy Butterfly
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 3:21 pm

    @itchy – YAY for Beauty and the Geek! I LOVED that show!

    I seriously thought that if I didn’t watch this season of Love it the Wild, but read the recaps, it would keep the nightmare that is JennyM out of my head. It’s not working. I see the screencaps of her and die a little inside as her voice echoes in my head. She is one of the most annoying people on the planet. And I watch Hell’s Kitchen…

  7. 7
    fancyface
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 7:18 pm

    Thank fuck Tom went home. He had my hate @ ‘Sumner came in first. She EARNED me’. Ugh…..HATE!

    @teamtairhead…..Tara is that you? How’s life in the M.I.A.?

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Human Verification: In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.