Jim Carrey, eat your heart out
Welcome Gasmii!!! We have our second episode of Love in the Wild and it’s the blowjob edition! But don’t expect any actual blowjobs, just BJ faces galore. I expected this episode would find the reality show tables turned and a host of loose, hot women released like locusts on our brow-beaten men. Also known as the STD Plague. This is a lesser known plague because the Pharaoh crumbled before Moses got around to it.
I did think about how this would shatter whatever small connections had been made to give them men options so early, and NBC must have too because this episode is all about bonding. We start of course by looking back at last week to see that nearly every minority has been drummed out and we are left with the usual network TV lineup plus one Asian chick! Everyone is celebrating with beers and congratulating themselves on recreating the cast of Friends.
This will never become “The Jennifer”
The crowd favorite, Chase the Marine (which sounds like a fun game to me), is happy to have his skill set featured in bunking with Ali in the Lean-to of Terror!
That seems like a lot of luggage for a manly man
He is used to hard conditions and breaking people down to build them back up again and that’s pretty much an exact prescription for working with Ali. I hate to admit that he is a way better match for the weak-willed southern princess than the BFF with the beautiful eyes she let go last week. He probably can’t braid her hair or match shoes with dresses as well though.
Ginger Jen is reveling in having Ben to herself in their tent and threatening him she will not be sleeping in worse conditions (foreshadowing, is that you?). Meanwhile, Cockney Ben, or the Gavin Rossdale/Carrot Top love child, is still feeling angst over not actually being that into the spunky ginger. He seems like a decent individual whose mix of kindness and aloofness is really just making the Ginger fall harder.
This apathy is giving me an ulcer
The fast-track couple is Ken and Yanina who are already canoodling in their cabin like, well, morons that just met. I smell second place! The audience likes to see growth, not instant magnets.
When desperation goes right
The crew comes out to watch Jenny try to be funny while propped up by a stick. I think the Botox is starting to spread to her lower limbs because I’ve never actually seen her walk or move anything but her mouth.
“Who here still finds me relevant?”
She moves that incessantly however, and tells the group they will meet an old toothless man on their challenge that one team member must kiss.
LOL only a joke! Kissing old men is only for has-beens who desperately need acting roles!
Special kisses… And then I was a host!
The stick holding up Jenny’s assemblage of real and synthetic body parts turns out to be a net they must build and use during another scavenger-like challenge. The rewards/punishments are the same as last time – accommodations and one winner’s reward up for grabs. Moving your stuff every couple of days would be punishment enough in my opinion. There is also a new rule that one woman and one man will be going home in the elimination.
This box of crayons is about to get smaller
The teams scatter through a field to find net materials and maps and Chase is obviously all over it, making little Ali’s heart flutter. Cina and Jason spot a map but Cina falls and a chunk of bone comes shooting through her leg, incapacitating her.
Luckily downgraded to Class C Ouchie