They must catch a guinea fowl to exchange for a map. Problem is there are all kinds of birds and no indication what a guinea fowl looks like. Ali and Chase are in the lead and luckily catch one on the first try. He celebrates by proposing on the spot.
That is a lot of bling
Summer and Dr. Cox join in and they too luck out. Chase is his usual take charge self and Summer is doing her share on her team as always. Although probably not a cute couple, those two together would be unstoppable. Also their children would be an uber race that would turn and enslave us all.
Tara (airhead) says unless a guinea fowl is popping bottles in cabanas in south beach, she doesn’t know what one is. I have got to go to this club. Jesse impressively just grabs a bird with his hands but it isn’t a guinea fowl and back they go.
They all want me, they can’t have me
The bird pen is now full of teams deploying various losing strategies and it starts raining cocks and hens. Cockney Ben catches bird after bird and each is wrong.
Bestiality, cockney style
The farmer will only do the Macarena and point to the sign, to which Cockney Ben says “I don’t speak Spanish!” The strain of putting up with a kid sister crush situation is wearing on him. Shauna busies herself screaming to ensure Ryan wants to kill her in her sleep.
Ryan’s commentary working with Shauna. I FUCKING TOLD YOU
It’s no wonder she does yoga, it’s the only time of day her larynx gets a rest. They do eventually catch a bird and Zombie Monkey feels as long as they are in 6th place things could be worse. That harpy sees the glass as half full! Cockney Ben and Ginger Jen are now dead last and no closer to speaking Spanish or any other love language. Cockney throws the net and yells “concede”. Ginger Jen sees only the positive in his strong manly net throwing arms and retrieves it to catch the fowl herself. She’s that girl that you have to actually be mean to before she will understand you have really broken up.
“If I drop-kick her winning bird, will she finally hate me?”
Now the teams are running through a field and getting carvings from trees to complete the challenge. It’s a fairly simple challenge that no one has a problem with and Ali and Chase are first! My frosty little heart thaws a bit at Ali’s joy since she’s moving from the lean-to to the Oasis.
Indoor plumbing is marvelous
Summer is pissed at coming in second and predictably calls it “first loser”. She didn’t really seem to enjoy the Oasis last time however. The next pack of teams is just happy to be done and Tairhead even loves getting third – “Bronze again, that’s fine, I like my medals!”. With the ultra competitive Summer, Dr. Cox and Chase in the mix I’d be proud of third place as well. Especially since I would still be standing on the cliff contemplating my mortality at this point.
The fifth and sixth place teams race each other furiously… for the exact same prize. Then team Ginger Cock pulls in last place as expected (and foreshadowed) and Jen sees the bright side in that she is falling for Ben.
I will take these lemons and make Love Potion No. 9
The evening falls and it looks like people just head straight to bed instead of doing any partying. I assume the day lasts longer than the two hours it must’ve taken for this challenge and that each team ate food a few times during the day so maybe they are all flying home to be with their families in between filming. Except Ginger Jen, she flies to Ben’s home to be with his family.
“He’s tall, so it would go something like this”