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Thursday, June 14, 2012
12:00 pm
7 Comments
They must catch a guinea fowl to exchange for a map. Problem is there are all kinds of birds and no indication what a guinea fowl looks like. Ali and Chase are in the lead and luckily catch one on the first try. He celebrates by proposing on the spot.
That is a lot of bling
Summer and Dr. Cox join in and they too luck out. Chase is his usual take charge self and Summer is doing her share on her team as always. Although probably not a cute couple, those two together would be unstoppable. Also their children would be an uber race that would turn and enslave us all.
Tara (airhead) says unless a guinea fowl is popping bottles in cabanas in south beach, she doesn’t know what one is. I have got to go to this club. Jesse impressively just grabs a bird with his hands but it isn’t a guinea fowl and back they go.
They all want me, they can’t have me
The bird pen is now full of teams deploying various losing strategies and it starts raining cocks and hens. Cockney Ben catches bird after bird and each is wrong.
Bestiality, cockney style
The farmer will only do the Macarena and point to the sign, to which Cockney Ben says “I don’t speak Spanish!” The strain of putting up with a kid sister crush situation is wearing on him. Shauna busies herself screaming to ensure Ryan wants to kill her in her sleep.
Ryan’s commentary working with Shauna. I FUCKING TOLD YOU
It’s no wonder she does yoga, it’s the only time of day her larynx gets a rest. They do eventually catch a bird and Zombie Monkey feels as long as they are in 6th place things could be worse. That harpy sees the glass as half full! Cockney Ben and Ginger Jen are now dead last and no closer to speaking Spanish or any other love language. Cockney throws the net and yells “concede”. Ginger Jen sees only the positive in his strong manly net throwing arms and retrieves it to catch the fowl herself. She’s that girl that you have to actually be mean to before she will understand you have really broken up.
“If I drop-kick her winning bird, will she finally hate me?”
Now the teams are running through a field and getting carvings from trees to complete the challenge. It’s a fairly simple challenge that no one has a problem with and Ali and Chase are first! My frosty little heart thaws a bit at Ali’s joy since she’s moving from the lean-to to the Oasis.
Indoor plumbing is marvelous
Summer is pissed at coming in second and predictably calls it “first loser”. She didn’t really seem to enjoy the Oasis last time however. The next pack of teams is just happy to be done and Tairhead even loves getting third – “Bronze again, that’s fine, I like my medals!”. With the ultra competitive Summer, Dr. Cox and Chase in the mix I’d be proud of third place as well. Especially since I would still be standing on the cliff contemplating my mortality at this point.
The fifth and sixth place teams race each other furiously… for the exact same prize. Then team Ginger Cock pulls in last place as expected (and foreshadowed) and Jen sees the bright side in that she is falling for Ben.
I will take these lemons and make Love Potion No. 9
The evening falls and it looks like people just head straight to bed instead of doing any partying. I assume the day lasts longer than the two hours it must’ve taken for this challenge and that each team ate food a few times during the day so maybe they are all flying home to be with their families in between filming. Except Ginger Jen, she flies to Ben’s home to be with his family.
“He’s tall, so it would go something like this”
7 Comments
Initially, I was prepared to give Ms. McCarthy a pass, but that voice! That horrid, grating voice! Everytime she speaks it’s like spikes being hammered into my ears!
I like the show though. It has a similar spirit to Beauty and the Geek (the second-best reality show of all time, after Forever Eden).
Summer scares the shit out of me. But as long as Ali wins it, I’m good. I’m happy Tara’s getting laid though.
I bet none of the guys switch for the new bimbos — they’ve probably already developed a tribal mentality, and they’ve already eliminated the two weakest links in that.
Speaking of which: they were teasing the new bimbos thing all episode and then… pfft! Enough to give a guy a case of reality tv blue balls.
I thought this episode was hilarious. The show is completely ridiculous, and since Jenny is also completely ridiculous, I don’t mind her as the host.
MrsMia what is going on with the zombie monkey-ness? Geez was she psychotic or what? Since I watched her on tv, I am allowed to pass judgment here…Shauna sure did seem up tight and bitchy for a yoga instructor. And what was going on with the flesh toned lip gloss? Odd. Good bye Shauna, don’t let the door hit you on your exposed butt cheeks on the way out.
Unlike you MrsMia, I may be developing a soft spot for Ben the Brit. British expressions are so funny. Even if a Brit guy is a total doucher, it somehow it gets disguised as clever because you’re never entirely sure what exactly they’re saying. Oh, and I love me some tatted up soccer players. That is all.
I like Ali and Chase. Or maybe I just have a girl boner for Chase, and could take or leave Ali.
Team Tairhead seem perfect for each other.
Finally, dear Jason and Cina: Being stable and decent does not good tv make. One of you needs to flip your shit over something minor, and do it soon.
Looking forward to the skank parade, or whatever it’s called, next week!
In my opinion Ginger Jen is the best looking of the girls and probably the only one I could tolerate in real life, so it’s a shame she’ll be leaving us next episode.
It would be great if they continued to bring in an alternate group of guys and girls after every elimination.
This episode was a little tame, but I find it refreshing that the producers don’t seem overly intent on inventing or exaggerating storylines just for the sake of creating drama.
“but I really appreciate we are not getting any platitudes on love being a leap and blind faith and blah blah Chris Harrison bullet to the brain.” Indeed; if that were the case I would not be watching.
I hope they continue to put snake pit/cliff jumping type challenges into the competition. Seeing people lose their shit is my favorite part of the show.
I’m waiting for the show to have a competition like this:
http://youtu.be/xsL7SXwMcZ8
Although it would have been nice if they’d had something like this before that drinking problem douchebag got eliminated.
As a participant, I never comment on articles, but I have to say that this one is holyshit-hilarious. Thanks for the great read and keep it up.
@itchy – YAY for Beauty and the Geek! I LOVED that show!
I seriously thought that if I didn’t watch this season of Love it the Wild, but read the recaps, it would keep the nightmare that is JennyM out of my head. It’s not working. I see the screencaps of her and die a little inside as her voice echoes in my head. She is one of the most annoying people on the planet. And I watch Hell’s Kitchen…
Thank fuck Tom went home. He had my hate @ ‘Sumner came in first. She EARNED me’. Ugh…..HATE!
@teamtairhead…..Tara is that you? How’s life in the M.I.A.?