Love In the Wild Recap: The BJ Face Edition

Recaps

By MrsMiaWallace | Thursday, June 14, 2012 | 12:00 pm | 7 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Love in the Wild, Recaps

The Oasis is now in the hands of The Couple to Beat, and I have to say, they seem to enjoy it a lot more than last week’s awkward threesome. Also I don’t see Chase sleeping in the tub. Unless that is Ali’s nickname.

So many chairs for two people

Team Ginger Cock uses mats to build a fort in the lean-to and Ginger decides she needs to put the moves on Ben since he hasn’t tried anything. Cockney Ben is very kind and says how much he likes her and how attractive she is and is just “giving it time” to develop relationship feelings.

As Juliette said to Romeo

I have to say I’m really liking him since the dynamic makes it obvious he could completely take advantage of Jen and he has no desire to. I’m starting to hope one of the Plague Sluts is a good match for him.

Meanwhile the blonde Tairhead team wrestle under their blankets. That or they were practicing a performance art piece representing giving birth to twins, breached. This girl is smarter than I thought and has probably realized she needs to lock this down.

“What Plague? Welcome to my blanket fort.”

Dr. Cox seems to be putting awkward moves out but Summer but she seems to be disappointed in his puny mortal ways already. The Zombie is shocked that Ryan hates her and doesn’t want to start making out with her just because she kept him in the game. She cries a lot and talks about love and compatibility. She also decides to continue her habit of flashing her giblets on camera.

She filed these under “shorts”

It really is tragic that the stranger she taught a few yoga moves to yesterday isn’t her soul mate. What is this world coming to? I think she would be excellent on the bachelor.

Absolutely the behavior of a stable human non-zombie

Cina and Jason sneak into the forest and ritually sacrifice the Guinea Hens, smear themselves in blood and feathers and then have a threesome with the farmer. That scene exceeded this show’s rating limits though and could not be aired.

The reward this week is actually something that seems rewarding! It is a gondola ride up to a beautiful mountain-top café. Ali’s fear of heights kicks back in and she has a small meltdown in the high swinging enclosed gondola.

Even her false eyelashes are trembling

This is not something that would scare me, but MrsMia’s bff has a pathological fear of heights and having witnessed someone with a true phobia I have to say Ali did well and Chase once again was a champ in coaxing her through her fear. They do have mimosas at the top which is enough reward to get me to do just about anything.

“You do know we have to take that thing back down?”

The night falls with everyone else presumably doing nothing all day and its Jesse‘s birthday so they dress him in a bra and procure a cake.

The things you gotta do for camera time

Dr. Cox reveals himself to be a true frat-hole and starts cake smashing. He says its because he can’t eat cake if he wants a six-pack. Its called the Douchebag Diet and you end up gorgeous and alone.

Why so serious?

Cockney Ben takes it well but it turns out Summer hates two things: weakness and cake in the hair.

He has a drinking problem

Cockney Ben finally starts putting out feelers for someone he might actually want to bone in the camp; in his words “I’ll shake the tree a bit and see what monkeys fall out”

Hi

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MrsMiaWallace is an east coast girl with a  penchant for travel, libations and great cuisine. She is not known to turn down a mimosa or a martini and finds the transition between the two a good way to mark the passing of time since she can never remember to wear a watch. Her secret love for reality tv and addiction to Bravo have drawn her like a moth to the glittering snark of TVGasm,  where she finds there are others like her... hopefully also nursing Bloody Marys.

7 Comments

  1. 1
    itchy itchy
    Posted June 14, 2012 at 12:45 pm

    Initially, I was prepared to give Ms. McCarthy a pass, but that voice! That horrid, grating voice! Everytime she speaks it’s like spikes being hammered into my ears!

    I like the show though. It has a similar spirit to Beauty and the Geek (the second-best reality show of all time, after Forever Eden).

    Summer scares the shit out of me. But as long as Ali wins it, I’m good. I’m happy Tara’s getting laid though.

    I bet none of the guys switch for the new bimbos — they’ve probably already developed a tribal mentality, and they’ve already eliminated the two weakest links in that.

    Speaking of which: they were teasing the new bimbos thing all episode and then… pfft! Enough to give a guy a case of reality tv blue balls.

  2. 2
    TVgasm Addict
    Posted June 14, 2012 at 7:42 pm

    I thought this episode was hilarious. The show is completely ridiculous, and since Jenny is also completely ridiculous, I don’t mind her as the host.

    MrsMia what is going on with the zombie monkey-ness? Geez was she psychotic or what? Since I watched her on tv, I am allowed to pass judgment here…Shauna sure did seem up tight and bitchy for a yoga instructor. And what was going on with the flesh toned lip gloss? Odd. Good bye Shauna, don’t let the door hit you on your exposed butt cheeks on the way out.

    Unlike you MrsMia, I may be developing a soft spot for Ben the Brit. British expressions are so funny. Even if a Brit guy is a total doucher, it somehow it gets disguised as clever because you’re never entirely sure what exactly they’re saying. Oh, and I love me some tatted up soccer players. That is all.

    I like Ali and Chase. Or maybe I just have a girl boner for Chase, and could take or leave Ali.

    Team Tairhead seem perfect for each other.

    Finally, dear Jason and Cina: Being stable and decent does not good tv make. One of you needs to flip your shit over something minor, and do it soon.

    Looking forward to the skank parade, or whatever it’s called, next week!

  3. 3
    ohhhyeah
    Posted June 14, 2012 at 8:59 pm

    In my opinion Ginger Jen is the best looking of the girls and probably the only one I could tolerate in real life, so it’s a shame she’ll be leaving us next episode.

    It would be great if they continued to bring in an alternate group of guys and girls after every elimination.

    This episode was a little tame, but I find it refreshing that the producers don’t seem overly intent on inventing or exaggerating storylines just for the sake of creating drama.

    “but I really appreciate we are not getting any platitudes on love being a leap and blind faith and blah blah Chris Harrison bullet to the brain.” Indeed; if that were the case I would not be watching.

    I hope they continue to put snake pit/cliff jumping type challenges into the competition. Seeing people lose their shit is my favorite part of the show.

  4. 4
    itchy itchy
    Posted June 14, 2012 at 11:45 pm

    I’m waiting for the show to have a competition like this:
    http://youtu.be/xsL7SXwMcZ8

    Although it would have been nice if they’d had something like this before that drinking problem douchebag got eliminated.

  5. 5
    #TeamTairhead
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 2:40 pm

    As a participant, I never comment on articles, but I have to say that this one is holyshit-hilarious. Thanks for the great read and keep it up.

  6. 6
    Mummy Butterfly
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 3:21 pm

    @itchy – YAY for Beauty and the Geek! I LOVED that show!

    I seriously thought that if I didn’t watch this season of Love it the Wild, but read the recaps, it would keep the nightmare that is JennyM out of my head. It’s not working. I see the screencaps of her and die a little inside as her voice echoes in my head. She is one of the most annoying people on the planet. And I watch Hell’s Kitchen…

  7. 7
    fancyface
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 7:18 pm

    Thank fuck Tom went home. He had my hate @ ‘Sumner came in first. She EARNED me’. Ugh…..HATE!

    @teamtairhead…..Tara is that you? How’s life in the M.I.A.?

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