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Thursday, May 10, 2012
8:00 pm
15 Comments
Tagged: ABC Family, ABC must really hate Chelsea Hobbs, annie, Austin is a dick, Coach Keegan, Coach Mac, Dr. Walker, I miss Kelly Parker, Jordan, Jordan had a reason to be angry, Kaylie Cruz, Kaylie has terrible handwriting, Keegan did the bad touch, Lauren Tanner, London Olympics 2012, Make it or Break it, Payson Keeler, Steve Tanner, Team Tanner, Truth be Told, Wendy Capshaw, Wendy is amazing
Last week we found out that Lauren has a rare heart tachycardia that makes her heart beat faster than normal which causes her to black out. Payson tracked down a doctor who might be able to help her without doing open heart surgery which is what was recommended as the only option. Kaylie and Austin broke up after Austin was kicked off the team by his bad performance during eliminations. Austin blamed Kaylie for bringing him down and left her a box of crap before taking off. Payson and Rigo sealed their relationship by having sex in a tent in a storage closet and we all let out a collective sigh of disapproval.
Steve farted.
Lauren, Steve, Payson and Dr. Walker are in Lauren’s room looking at her heart patterns on an iPad. Dr. Walker explains that her heart isn’t broken but unique and that it beats faster than normal. This causes her muscles to have less time to relax between contractions which is what caused her black outs. The surgery that he proposes would be done intraveinously and it basically sends radio waves through her heart in an attempt to change her current waves. Lots of his patients have had success and are up and moving within days of the surgery. Everyone is excited but Lauren shows obvious concern on her face because it is getting down to crunch time and she has not practiced in a few weeks.
Not creepy at all..
Jordan and Kaylie are walking around and holy cow, Jordan is super tiny! I never noticed it before but that’s probably because she has a huge head. The girls are discussing food and I have to laugh because Jordan is actually complaining about the quality of the food. We all know her ass wasn’t getting regular meals previous to camp so she should be LUCKY that she even has food. You know she was two meals away from bumping off the bunny. They walk by a car whose license tag is focused on and immediately I figure out that it’s the coach from the florida camp. Sure enough, Creepy Coach walks behind them and surprises them. Kaylie seems excited but Jordan kind of keeps him at a distance and doesn’t know what he is doing there. Methinks he did something to her that wasn’t kosher.
SG Approved Couple.
Lauren and Jake are hanging out in Lauren’s room while she drinks from a juice box. Take note of the juice box because she definitely sipped more than could fit in that bowl…and did she do it to be sexually suggestive to Jake? Don’t put it past her folks! Jake tells her that he hangs around to make her life miserable and Lauren tells him he should be so lucky. He reminds her that he IS lucky because he has Otis. Payson and Kaylie stop by and he tells them to take care of his favorite Barbie as he walks out. Payson and Kaylie tease Lauren about their flirtation and she says he was just teasing her because they have Otis but the girls know better.
Forever Prude.
Lauren further points out that the meathead is not Lauren Tanner approved and then says that Payson should be the one that gets grilled and was it true that she traded in her V Card. Payson says…I kid you not…that she made love in a tent in the storage room and that it was amazing. Man this girl needs to get laid a few times to really know what amazing sex is because looking at Rigo you can tell he has no clue how to work it. Payson says that she grew a lot this year and that she is glad she waited because it was so good with Rigo (again you can’t know that from one time). Kaylie makes it about herself and mopes because she doesn’t have anyone since Austin broke up with her. Lauren teases her and says she expected her to be the next one to lose it.
He’s always full of bad news.
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15 Comments
SG, you totally called what happened to Jordan. Don’t like the girl, but I felt for her!
As for Wendy, girl is Cray! With as much pseudoephedrine she put in that shake, They both can get kicked off the team! Unless she poured herself a glass first, I don’t remember.
I think Ayla has a rocking body and some of those leo’s they put her in, do not do that woman any favors!
Sad horns for next week!
I called it here on the comments about Jordan being molested. I don’t think one episode can really wrap all of this up properly. At this point only Payson and maybe Lauren will be going unless Wendy screws up the drugging Kaylie. Yeah, I would not trust anyone if I was there about giving me food or water.
Will miss this show. I don’t think he has molested Wendy yet but he might be grooming her. Usually they have to groom the girls a bit before going for the molesting. Yuck.
Gah…I feel like there are way too many things to try and tie up in one episode. It all feels so rushed as it is, and now I have a feeling that the finale will be the same. I sincerely hope somehow Wendy gets caught and kicked off the team for drugging Kaylie. I am still irritated as to why she is so intent on sabotaging the Rock girls in the first place, and sadly, I don’t think we are going to get a suitable explanation. SG—I seriously thought the same thing when Wendy dumped a crap load of the Pseudoephedrine in the smoothie, like, “Dude, are you nuts? This isn’t Ibuprofen you’re giving her, it is basically speed! Kaylie’s going to die from an overdose, you lunatic!”
I totally knew Jordan was molested by the coach. And him being all creepy with Wendy in the gym solidified it. The back story with Kaylie and her refusing to do her signature move led right to it. I thought the moment between Jordan and Kaylie at the end was really well done.
I actually am going to be pretty mad if Lauren makes the team. I feel like they have given her character this challenge to help her grow as a person, and that means not having her go to the Olympics. Lord knows that they will let her go so she can, what, do ONE beam routine? Maybe all the way through? Totally unrealistic that they are even letting the girl train! Sad for it all to end though
Things I’m Grateful For In This Episode
1) The writers throwing all cheesiness caution to the wind and saying fuck it
2) “Let’s get some sizzle up in here”
3) Making bets with myself to see if I can find even tiny 1 thing @SG missed and always winning.
4) Rigo being even dorkier than his hair
5) Little Evil Wendy making pseudoephedrineberry smoothies
6) “I’m used to monitoring these girls for all types of reasons”
7) Forgetting to make the I Took A Pain Pill warning #1 on this list
8) Next week: It’s good-bye forever as Jordan and her secret ninja bunny save Little Evil Wendy from getting almost child molested by Creepy Coach doing his redneck politician imitation. Just then Payson redefines gymnastic salsa. Which makes it more organically white people friendly but also unfortunately causes a vortex of Olympic size black holes to eat the universe. Nothingness ensues.
Want to know something weird? I took gymnastics at a gym that had a sex scandal for reals. The owner had consensual sex with an underage student of his. I think she was 16 or 17. There was a trial. I think he got off with like probation or something. The gym is still open to this day. His wife never left him that I knew of and kept running the gym while that was going on. Crazyness.
Okay found a description of that case I was talking about if anyone is interested.
http://tn.findacase.com/research/wfrmDocViewer.aspx/xq/fac.19930111_0004.TN.htm/qx
Gym still open to this day. Not sure who runs it now. Still called Garner’s Gym
April you did call it! I just feel like the fans will get a very shitty sendoff sort of like what happened with the end of LOST. There’s probably no promise of a movie either which would have been nice if it were set at the Olympics and we found out how everyone placed.
This show has never gone in for realism, alas, so I’ll bet Lauren, Payson & kaylie all somehow make the Olympic team and medal, at least as a group. How the heck ABC will wrap all the storylines, get them to the Olympics AND show the competition, is beyond me.
What I WISH would happen instead is that none of them make this Year’s team, and the episode ends as other girls head to London. Then a scroll over epilogue about their futures:
Wendy shaped up, after (whatever Meaningful Moment created in the finale where she repents) and medal led in 2016.
Payson became a sought after coach, and doctor. She and Rigo broke up but still exchange Xmas cards.
Kaylie is a guidance counselor.
Lauren hawks on the home shopping network.
Emily (remember her?) owns a pizzaria.
Kelly/KC is a sports agent.
Jordan runs a bunny rescue.
Etc.
Escapee you hit the mark on the epilogues! I would only change thet Jordan runs the pizzeria because she eats a lot and that bunny is no where near being safe and that Emily runs the bunny rescue because she loves breeding.
I never noticed how awful Kaylie’s handwriting is, thanks for pointing it out. It looks like someone that broke their normal writing hand and now either has to work with a cast or write with their other hand. Did anyone else notice that the ‘page’ she tore out of her diary was perfectly smooth on all edges and the page was still larger than the rest of the pages in the diary. Plus, there was that torn-out-page-part still in the diary.
The bottle Wendy had the mystery powder in was a Benefit cosmetics jar, I think it has concealer in it normally. I notice random stuff like that, not very useful.
Unless the final episode is 2 hours, there is no way they could actually end this show on a good note. They better not leave it on a cliff hanger with hopes that the viewers will do a petition to ABCFamily to put the show back on the air. They knew they only had 8 episodes to wrap it all up, I don’t know why they are trying to introduce new plot lines so close to the end.
I have terrible handwriting too.
Carol—interesting about the cosmetics jar Wendy uses to hold the pseudoephedrine powder. I thought it was intended (initially) to be a lip gloss case, as she pretends to be “putting on” lip gloss when someone sees her with it (I think this was in the sneak peak clip for next week).
I agree about not being able to wrap up the series properly. The previews showed them winning something but with all the storylines they’ve written and the Olympics, it seems impossible.
I’ll miss your recaps SG!!
Congrats to everyone who called the creepy coach thing! I didn’t think that until he was “fixing” Wendy’s leg in the gym.
I thought Kaylie had sex??
This show always seems to address sex pretty extensively..so I figured if Kaylie had had sex with Austin, it definitely would have been discussed/mentioned like when she was contemplating having sex with Carter in season 1.
@carol I went back and looked and you’re right! I didn’t notice the wrong note paper at all. (Which is no big surprise) But @SG didn’t either! So if you bet yourself pizza she’d miss something, you won!
I always bet she won’t and win. But that’s the trick to betting yourself. Either way, you end up with pizza.
So to keep things 100% fair, since you discovered that, I’m counting that I also lost. And now owe myself another pizza.