Josh, Cowboy, Felix, and DareDevil get blue, which is…wait for it…INDIAN FOOD. WHAT THE FUCK, WHO IS GOING TO EAT INDIAN FOOD AT THE BEACH?!?
I mean, I love Indian food. I don’t want to eat it outdoors on a hot summer day. Am I the only one who’s entirely perplexed by the inclusion of Indian cuisine? I could actually perform very well in either the red truck or the yellow truck. I mean, come on, American food? Step 1, make Cheeseburgers…Step 2, ??? … Step 3, profit. But Indian food? Not only is that a fucking impossible sell, if the Blue team is lucky, 2 people on that team know how to make Indian food.
This stupid competition is over before it begins. Clearly red will run away with it by a) not sucking at food, and b) having an easy cuisine.
The competition is to have the most money in the till at the end of the day. Food is priced at $7. Apparently profit margin isn’t a consideration, which already makes this challenge silly.
Also, Bastage tells them the competition is about knowing their customers…
“Well, in that case, we’re pretty much fucked, huh?”
So, the teams get 90 minutes to get things going, and will have another 90 minutes to serve their patrons.
The red team gets down to business. Stace-aholic decides they should make veggie freakin’ quesa-dillas and steak tacos. AAliens chips in with the suggestion of guac. Nice contribution, dude…now go stand in the corner so Becky doesn’t end up in the pressure test. Becky isn’t happy that they’re making two main courses, because that’s extra work in a small window of time, but Stacy forces it.
The yellow team, with the easiest food selection, gets right down to mucking everything up. Wait, did I say mucking? What’s gotten into me? WannaHooch and BR are at each-other’s throats from the get-go. So, I guess now that FE isn’t there to bring them together (the enemy of my enemy is my friend, and all), they realize how much they hate each other. Anna wants to a slider trio. Well, that’s tripling work. Tanya says “how about 2?” and BR jumps in screaming about how two is better than three, because that’s only….carry the one….66.666666666666% of the work of 3, while still being twice the work of one. He also says that they should do chips instead of fries, because they can premake a bunch of them and not worry about them getting cold. Hooch counters with “double-fried fries” only take a few minutes to cook, because you cook them once beforehand. She says she doesn’t want to get in a fight, but seriously, I think the entire point of that “suggestion” was to piss BR off…
Also, now that FE is gone, she doesn’t seem too shy about letting the girls get some air…
This is not at all what pissed me off at WH. Tits never piss me off. That’ll come soon enough. Also, she’s saying “man” a lot…just like real Hooch did last year.
Right, so over on the blue team…Cowboy Mike is a bit out of his element when it comes to making Indian food. DareDevil says she knows how to make Chicken Tikka Masala. Josh apparently knows Indian food pretty well, too. He and Felix get to de-boning the chicken, which sounds a lot less fun, but way more legal, than boning the chicken.
Gordie says the strongest captain is Josh, because he knows Indian food better than anyone. Has he made Indian food in this competition? Anyway, while Gordie is all about team blue, TG and Bastage both are convinced the Yella team is gonna win. Teddy says Anna has the most to prove of anyone, and he thinks if she doesn’t step up here she’s done.
Gordie stops by team Red and asks about their food. He can’t seem to understand why they’d do a veggie course AND a meat course, because that’s twice as much work. Stacy says they’re going to lose if they can’t make the herbivores happy. Gordie asks Becky for a second opinion, and she repeats what she said up front (steak only, biatch!). Frank the Tank chimes in with concurrence.
“We should just do what [Gordie] says. I’m like, super serial, guys!”