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Wow. Wowowowowow. That’s like the first time every anyone in the history of MasterChef has ever listened to Gordie’s advice in the history of MasterChef EVER!!!
They bludgeon the determination right out of Stacy. Beckster’s a bit of a bitch about it, but she DID say this from the beginning, and I bet Stacy would’ve listened to her if she didn’t want to play with Becky’s insides…
With 20 minutes of prep left, the blue and red teams are cooking, while the yellow team (who are making BURGERS, btw) are still working on just getting the food ready. Good lord. Game fucking over. Can we just skip past the part where they lose slowly over a half an hour and get to the pressure test already?
Gordie stops over and can’t figure out why they’re making two different burgers for a single portion meal. Anna promises it’ll be delicious. Sweetheart, that’s not the challenge. Gordie won’t let it go, because he apparently likes someone on that SpEd team, and suddenly the theme of the day becomes “Fuck the Calypso Burger!”
So, with mere minutes remaining, Gordie stops back by the yellow team to see how they’re doing.
I mean, in an hour and a half…I, by myself, could have done more than they’ve done. By a longshot.
So, it’s time to serve food, and the hungry mob gets in line. The yellow team is still, according to BR, two minutes away from having burgers to sell. The mob waits. It’s stressful just watching this! Gordon Ramsay’s name is on the line! FINALLY, after what seems like forever (and is almost assuredly more than 5 minutes, but less than forever), BR drops off a bowl of cooked burgers…enough for 20 sliders. They’re in business!
The red team (and even the blue team) are moving their lines along in a respectable fashion.
The yellow team is FINALLY getting their feet under them. Except…no…wait…they’re not. They’re not, at all. Shortcuts always cost you more time in the long run…
This is ground beef, being served from a food truck. I don’t think there are many people who are even just ok with the idea of a rare burger in this setting. Anna can’t believe that she can’t even trust Beautiful Rhino to cook a fucking burger.
And now for the retard line of the episode…
I….wh-…where am I? It’s dark in here, and we may die….
Scientists don’t know where aneurisms come from. THAT’S where.
I’ve used my Lewis Black quota for the recap. Thank you, Mr. Black, your royalty check is in the mail.
Oh, right, no…the line of the episode… “Do I look like Superman to anybody?” No, BR, you don’t. Not only do I not think you’d fit into the unitard, I think you’d not fit into the PHONE BOOTH.
Bastage and TG go crowd surfing to see how things are going. Bastage finds a Mexican family who preferred the blue team’s Indian food to the tacos! Teddy finds a couple people who have been lucky enough to not only get a burger, but get one that was cooked properly.
So, at the midway point of selling food, the judges convene to discuss. Apparently the red team’s tacos are tough and dry, and those are bad qualities for ANY taco, if ya know what I mean… (eh? EEEHHH?) Everyone wonders why there are no fish tacos?!? Kind of a good question, to me…I love my steak and all, but you’re at the fucking beach, and if you were concerned about the vegetarians, well, FISH SEEMS LIKE A LOGICAL MIDDLE GROUND!!!