They have nothing but good things to say about the blue team.
And for the Yellow team, Bastage and TG are impressed with it, but Gordie tells them he found raw burgers.
Bastage says the Indian truck is in the lead with flavor, but who knows when it comes to the cash money.
So, suddenly the red team has no line, and that’s bad for business. Stace-aholic decides that with her raspy voice and tattoos, she is the best candidate to recruit all the kids from the nearby skate park to come spend their money on tacos.
Bastage is still high on the blue team and their Indian food.
“It’s the most sensible, authentic ethnic cuisine here.”
First, what the actual fuck does that mean?!? That it doesn’t wear heels when it has to walk a lot?!?
Second, I STILL don’t think it’s fair that they stuck one team with fucking Indian cuisine in a food truck at the beach! Have you ever seen someone shit themselves in a bathing suit? It’s not pretty…
Gordie counts down, and when time expires, no more food is served. Man, it sucks to be one of the people who waited in line for a long ass while and DIDN’T get to buy food just because some British punk from a TV show says time is up.
Ok, so…they’ve counted the tills. Combined, the teams earned over $2,000, which will be donated to charity. Oh, I didn’t mention that bit, did I? Well, all the proceeds went to charity. But, so we’re clear, that’s all the REVENUE, not the PROFITS. Just like what the teams are judged on. Why not give them fucking lemonade stands if you’re gonna pretend that the ingredients are free?
I mean, nice of FOX or whoever to foot the bill so that the cost of the food isn’t taken out before the money is donated to charity, but I still think it’s silly that a team with a profit margin of $2 could sell 5 more meals than a team with a margin of $4 and win the challenge. Someone should’ve done something with foie gras…it’s SoCal, y’all, these people would’ve eaten that shit UP.
So, the first place team earned $798 dollars. It was the red team. What a surprise…
Second place earned…well, $154 more than the last place team. I mean, that’s 22 meals. Not even close. Yellow team loses!
Wait..we lost? How did we lose?!?
I’ll take a stab…you took 5 minutes past when the selling began to get your first burgers out, then had to dump a batch because your stupid fucking cook couldn’t actually cook them. That’s a good start. Also, Gordie tells them they served 86 people. That’s $602.
Math time. Blue team beat them by $154, so Blue team earned $756, which is only $42 less than Red team’s $798, or….SIX CUSTOMERS.
Personally, I give the moral victory to the Blue team. They had to cook Indian food, and they beat the fuck out of a team that got to cook burgers, and barely lost to a team that got to cook tacos.
“I cooked SO many burgers…and I don’t think this loss is my fault…”
Well, thank goodness. I was worried that with AAliens on the winning team, there wouldn’t be enough delusional crazy-talk to power my robo-monkey to write this recap. BR to the rescue!
Stacy tells us that with the Yellow team’s loss, WannaHooch is on the chopping block, and therefore her plan “enfolded” exactly as she had seen it in her mind. Enfolded. That’s up there with FE’s archnemesisses. No, not quite…that’s still making me giggle every time I think about it…
So, Tanya asks WannaHooch why she’s upset. She asks, passive aggressively, if she should answer that, because they don’t want a Beautiful Rhinoceros loose in the china shop that is their food truck. BR calls her “such a child,” and says they never ran out of burgers. Anna reminds him that there were 15 minutes (out of 90…that’s 16.7%, guys) where they couldn’t sell food. However, doing the math, that means they’d have sold only 19 more plates, which would have still left them in last. So, no, we can’t blame BR ENTIRELY. We can blame someone else for 3 or 4 plates. Well, unless word got out that they were serving raw fucking burgers.