Gordie tells them that THREE of them will not be competing in the pressure test. Man, is it just me, or is this show getting more and more gimmicky? The JUDGES get to decide who is safe. Well, I will bet my ass that both FE and AAliens are on the block.
This guy is not above taking the free pass this time…
So the decision is going to be based on how everyone performed. So yes, AAliens and FE are on the block. I know it. Also…hm. Well, I bet WH and Josh are safe. The rest is a tossup.
“I’m confident they’re gonna pick me. Clearly I have to be one of those three.”
So, Bastage chooses first. He sends BR upstairs. Well, thanks to the editing practices of FOX, I have no idea how reasonable this is. But he’s on my shit list now, so I’m a little annoyed. Not as annoyed as someone else, though…
“I’m so happy for Beautiful Rhino!!!” is NOT what he says…
Teddy picks next, and he sends Frank the Tank upstairs. Interesting, Josh and WH can’t both get picked now…Gordie gets to pick last, and he sends Josh upstairs. Wait, PSYCH!!!! LOLS. I mean, wait. No, that was just unnecessarily mean. Why not do that to AAliens or FE? THEN it’d have been funny.
Duuude. Next time one of y’all says some stupid ass basketball cliche I’m gonna slam dunk your heads. That’ll be myyyyyyy funny little prank!
I mean, wtf was that Gordie?
“I’m kinda pissed off. The judges sent my two arch-nemesisses upstairs and now here I am, down in the trenches fighting for my life.”
Seriously?!? Arch-nemesisses?!? Arch-nemesises? I’m not even sure how you spell that…do you double up on an “s”?…do you know why I can’t spell it. BECAUSE NEMESISSES IS NOT A WORD!!!! You have clearly wasted thousands of your parents hard-earned dollars not paying attention in school. I’m pretty sure both of the blue-collar folk you so look down on would laugh at you if they’d heard that shit. I seriously can’t stop laughing.
So, the pressure test for the remaining four is…a dessert! I MISS WHITNEY!!!! Gordie tells us this particular dessert terrifies chefs all over the world. Yawn, it’s another gorram souffle. Oh, wait. It involves elements of a cake AND a souffle. It’s a molten lava cake!
Who the fuck knows how to cook one of these? GEEZ. My money is on Anna winning this bit. I think she knows her cooking better than all 3 boys down there. Maybe Josh could kinda keep up, but I don’t think he’s much of a baker. They get 45 minutes, and can bring up their dish anytime within that time period.
The judges talk through everything. How hard this is to do. How precise you must be. How hard this is. How preci–oh, you get the point. This dead horse has 50 broken bones…
Gordie says the only sensible strategy is to make the mix, and quarter it, and get one in the oven immediately and use that as a test run. Bastage asks who would be crazy enough to bring their first one up…TG and Gordie both say “Tali” at the same time.
So Gordie stops by Anna, and she says she’s nervous, and he tells her to get it together because he knows she can cook and she’s fading into obscurity. Next, TG swings over to FE to see what his thoughts are about being stuck in the pressure test. He goes on and on about how WannaHooch was terrible and should definitely be stuck in the pressure test (so she could whoop your ass there, r-tard?).
Up on the balcony, hearing all this, Frank the Tank tells WH that FE is a crazy asshole and to not listen. He then asks if they know what he needs?
“[FE is] in more dire need of a blow job than any white man in HISTORY!!!”