MasterChef Recap: Giddyup! Yeehaw!!!

Bastage also gives him some grief for putting parmesan in his polenta. Gordie says it’s a little overcooked. 

So, they get to voting, and Bastage gives him a quick yes vote. Probably because of their chummy little conversation in Italian earlier. Teddy tells him that he has a great personality, but this isn’t sex, so putting a bag over his head really isn’t going to help anything…therefore, he votes no and passes the buck to Gordie. 

Gordie says it’s a tough choice…because Luca can cook, and is passionate. Commercial! Gordie says he knows Luca CAN do better. and then, after all that…he says the dish wasn’t good enough, and throws all the previous “I know that’s not your best, so here’s a yes vote” precedence out the window. Poor Luca can’t believe it, and Bastage just sits there shaking his head. I am pretty sure Gordie did that just to spite Bastage. 

He invites Luca back next year, too. I guess that’s for the best. It’s not like I could call the guy “Mario” after having a Mario last year. Whew…bullet dodged. 

So, next up is a quick montage of successes. They’re not very interesting, as they’re a montage. I don’t know who any of them are, or what they cooked, or if any of them gave Bastage a culinary boner. I do know, however, that TG got into  it a little bit…

There was also some awful squealing, cheering, dancing, and some asian kid who’s convinced he’s AJ Hawk. 

So, finally we focus in on a contestant again. Her name is Hisa (I have no idea how to spell it), and she seems a little bit in a different world. She forgets to bring a rolling pin into the audition room with her, and so Gordie makes her run back out to get one from the prep kitchen. On the clock. 

She passes with three very strong yes votes, but I don’t know how long she’s going to last. I mean…she gets flustered so easily it seems like, and I’m pretty sure that if she makes it to a team event, she’s going to tank the shit out of her team. 

Ok, so next up are three cowboys in quick succession. I’m gonna give you a little background to help you understand what happens with the first two…

I wake up in the mornin’, and I raise my weary head. I got an old coat for a pillow, and the earth was last night’s bed. 

I don’t know where I’m goin’, only God knows where I’ve been. I’m a devil on the run, a six gun lover, a candle in the wind!

When you’re brought into this world, they say you’re born in sin. Well at least that gave me somethin’ I didn’t have to steal or have to win…

Well they tell me that I’m wanted, yeah I’m a wanted man! I’m a colt in your stable, I’m what Cain was to Abel! Mister catch me if you can…

[We’re] goin’ doooooown in a blaze of glory! 

But there’s another cowboy, and his name is El Bronco. Remember how I called this out last episode? 

Can’t…make…this…shit…up…

El bronco gets an apron.  

Oh, wait, there’s ANOTHER cowboy. Remember how I mentioned that there were a couple people I couldn’t really make fun of. Here’s the first of them. He’s dedicating his appearance on MasterChef to his sister, who was killed 6 months ago in a car wreck. He chokes up several times talking about it. 

Then again, he did ride a horse into the kitchen. 

So he starts telling the judges about himself and how he’s a self-taught cook and is making venison…and suddenly, his trusty steed really gives us a visual of having to race like a pisshorse…

No! BAD HORSE! THE THOROUGHBRED OF SIN!!!!