MasterChef Recap: Head ‘em Up, Move ‘em Out!


lol burn. 

So, Gordie rings his magical triangle, and the cowpeople arrive. The teams man their serving stations and start serving the cowfolk. 

Bastage immediately starts around to see how things are going. It sounds like both teams are having some early success, and there’s more “I can’t believe this actually came from Wal-Mart!” crap going on. Man, I hope MasterChef made a fuckload of money off these endorsements, because this is a deal with the devil…

And, as things get moving, the red team runs out of sweet potatoes. Not that surprising considering all the concerns the team expressed about how long they would take to cook. This is happening 5 minutes into serving. Man, that’s failure.

“My dream of being the greatest team leader alive is plummeting quicker than I can say ‘holy fuck.’” 

WH, to be fair, your dream can’t be plummeting…because it never left the ground. 

I think the red team is lucky as hell that they have two cute girls up front telling the cowboys they’re out of taters. 

This is the entire point of team challenges…

It seems like Stace-aholic’s BBQ sauce is a huge hit, and may single-handedly be winning them the challenge. 

WannaHooch tells us that she’s not sure what the blue team is serving, but apparently it came with a side of gold. Or…it had potatoes. That may have something to do with it. Right now it’s 29-12, and BR can’t figure out how his team is running away with it. Well, I got news for you big guy….it probably has nothing to do with you. 

But, things MAY be about to turn around, because finally the red team has more taters. And, suddenly, the blue teams steaks are overcooked, and the red team has a chance to gain ground. When service stops, blue is leading 49-36. Yikes. So I guess that comeback maybe wasn’t quite as drastic as they made it out to be. 

Man, they drag this out. I mean really drag it out. We all know red isn’t going to come back from that kind of deficit. And the blue team wins, and Frank the Toaster explains that his years of researching the humans gave him some insight that perhaps WH lacked…

“I couldn’t have won it without my team…everyone brought their a-game, and cooked something they were passionate about, and that’s why we won.” 

So, I think you can safely say…

Man. The red team is facing the pressure test, and that sucks. Well, here’s hoping WannaHooch hasn’t memorized a recipe for whatever this test is. 

Josh is pretty quick to tell us that they’d have been way better off with Frank as their captain. 

So, here goes. It’s time for another stunning pressure test. Even WannaHooch tells us that she screwed the pooch on that one. 

Dangerously

Dangerously is a Southern boy misplaced in windy Chicago. He spends most of his time wandering around Chicago hoping for a random encounter with Graham Elliot...(I bet that guy gives the best hugs!).

21 Comments

  1. 1
    Leto
    Posted July 21, 2012 at 4:35 am

    Poor Josh :(

    Frank rocked as a team leader, even if I wouldn’t have put the blind girl on the gril ^^’
    Becky really gets under my skin, she doesn’t have an ounce of modesty, and Monti, even if I still don’t like her, surprised me when she owned her mistakes. She grew up a little on me in that episode.

    Still rooting for Christine, you go, girl.

  2. 2
    Novi
    Posted July 21, 2012 at 6:44 am

    Josh was screwed. How do you give someone immunity for prep work when he was in charge of cooking the meat, and seemingly well?

    Christine is tricky for me. I’m legally blind, but even I tend to think that every team she touches, she screws. She could be and most likely is a great chef when she can conceptualize and cook her own dish, but when she has to make other peoples’ dishes, or be on a team where the only choices are prep (easy way out), grilling (can’t see), or serving (can’t see) its just unfair. The other people have to pick up her slack and essentially carry her. If you put her on grilling the steaks and she messes em up, its your fault for putting the blind girl on steak. If you put her on prep and the team loses, obviously she wasn’t responsible because she was just on prep. It just bothers me…

  3. 3
    Dangerously Dangerously
    Posted July 21, 2012 at 7:16 am

    Yeah, this is my problem too. I like her a lot. I think she’s probably a great cook. But she is unfortunately the weak link on her teams. Luckily, her blindness isn’t as crippling as bad leadership and pure stupidity… :)

  4. 4
    Leto
    Posted July 21, 2012 at 7:32 am

    I hope Christine wins. Not because it’s fair, but because it’s right. I don’t know how handicaped people are seen in the US, but in France they are considered like half people. Mind you, that changed a little after the movie “intouchables” (not the one with Elliot Ness, the french one), but that makes me wanting her to win so badly, just to prove that people with disabilities aren’t lesser people.
    And Gordon always says she rocks at flavours, so why not trust and use her palate in team challenges? that’s not a lesser contribution than any other, if she can help create perfect dishes. But it’s just my opinion. And her team lost just once if I remember correctly, so maybe she doesn’t screw her teams that bad. Dunno. I love that girl :p

  5. 5
    timgunnssister timgunnssister
    Posted July 21, 2012 at 10:02 am

    Well, I’m a WH fan. And I loved how Becky FINALLY admitted that she wants WH gone not because she’s a ‘recipe memorizer who doesn’t deserve to win’ but because she’s a great cook and Becky’s biggest competition. Actually, I think Frank is everyones biggest competition but it was nice to see Becky being honest.

    And I believe, based on what we saw, that Josh deserved immunity. As for Christine, I do like her and she seems to have a terrific palate but team challenges are tough – where DO you put her?

  6. 6
    What????
    Posted July 21, 2012 at 11:58 am

    According to both Monti and Felix’s twitters, Josh had actually undercooked a lot of his steaks and as a result a lot of the cowboys didn’t even touch their raw steaks. Not sure why the producers decided not to add in this important bit of information…so we would feel he was robbed?

  7. 7
    Posted July 21, 2012 at 12:25 pm

    I wonder if the “recipe memorizer” accusation came from the fact that they have access to research material when they’re not in the kitchen. Sheetal mentioned a library that she used while she was competing. Since Monti’s background isn’t in the restaurant world like Becky’s appears to be, she’s using the resources presented to them. But in Becky’s mind, since only Becky and Becky’s way is the right way, using those resources is “cheating” or “memorizing recipes” because Becky doesn’t need them.

    Or it could just be Becky’s combination of preening self-regard, overreaction and humorlessness that makes me want to poke her in the eye. Monti may be highly strung but Becky’s dourness sucks the oxygen out of my living room whenever she’s on screen.

  8. 8
    Ed
    Posted July 21, 2012 at 1:02 pm

    SO was beyond pissed when Ramsey switched the teams. Particularly because ALL 3 OF MY PONIES WERE ON THE LOSING TEAM!!!!! Of course Josh, my #1 pick, was sent home. Though *SPOILERS* the preview for next week is giving me SOME hope

  9. 9
    Chris Velazquez
    Posted July 21, 2012 at 1:26 pm

    I’m personally glad Josh is gone. He always had a pissy attitude when he was in losing teams, with his “I don’t deserve to be in this pressure test” bullshit. Guy couldn’t even be bothered to hug Felix like the others did. Sorry, but when in a competition like this, curve balls are thrown at you constantly. Either put up with it or shut up.

    I do like Monti a lot still, so I was impressed with ehr completely owning up and taking responsibility for her team’s loss, as well as being the one person amongst the four to actually not try to save herself for the pressure test and feeling genuinely terrible about Too Tall being eliminated. The other three tried saving themselves, so technically, the choice for who was safe was Monti’s to make.

    @vallegirl, you perfectly summarized some of the traits that I despise about Becky, besides her huge ego and putting others down. Especially the overreaction part. I thought Tanya was annoying at this, but Blowhard Becky beats her by far. She always has these huge overreactions over absolutely everything, be it squealing in delight, or crying in despair, or pretty much anything. I know I can’t be the only one who heard her loud-ass sobs echoing all around the room as she made her way up the stairs when Gordon declared her safe. Yeah, she’s one of the strongest cooks, I just wish she wasn’t so fucking obnoxious.

    I personally don’t think Christine is a big weakness in team challenges. She can plate and serve, which leaves the others free to do other things, she can help with the prep and she can cook some sttuff. Her mishap with the corn this time was not a big disaster and was quickly under control. and yeah, she’s only been in one losing team so far, and I remember she won a challenge as team captain, namely because she kept her team focused and under control in their respective tasks and kept communication flowing. She’s not as useless in team challenges as people may believe, they just need to know how to use her.

  10. 10
    awfuleyebrow
    Posted July 21, 2012 at 5:30 pm

    I have to admit that I find Bastage strangely adorable is his little themed outfits. Just makes me want squeeeeeeeze him. I don’t know why.

  11. 11
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted July 21, 2012 at 10:22 pm

    I feel bad about Josh being sent home. I don’t think immunity should’ve been given to Felix. Heck, I don’t think Frank’s team should’ve been given to Monti! But, with that said, I think Josh is the most consistent of the team members. Becky and Felix both had highs and lows and ended up in the bottom a few times. Monti had a low or two but mostly “I’m shocked you’re top 3 moments” whereas when Josh was top 3, not many people were surprised. And seeing his elimination vs every that came before him, He was the only on that Ramsay offered a job. That says a lot. Tuesday’s eliminee was sent off with a hug and a wave.

  12. 12
    timgunnssister timgunnssister
    Posted July 22, 2012 at 8:52 am

    You know, if the team Frank picked was such a bowl of awesomeness, how come they lost? I do not believe it was all Monti’s fault – apparently Josh did undercook the steaks and I suspect that Becky was heaving massive globs of sweet potato mash onto the first plates – that could explain why they ran out so quickly. And if Montis choices were so awful, how come they won? I agree that Frank is a great leader and knows how to effectively use his team, but it wasn’t ALL him.

    I want BR to go home. And massive ego Becky. I like Felix but she makes the weirdest faces.

  13. 13
    annie Annie
    Posted July 22, 2012 at 9:45 am

    @awfuleyebrow…..I have to agree with you! I am crushing on Bastianich, especially when he wears his awesome fitted suits with a cool pair of sneakers. *sigh* what is wrong with me?!! lol

    I think the switching of the teams was jacked up. Yes it happend, so the contestants need to deal with it, but I agree with what someone said earlier “what was the point or advantage of being a team captain?”. I can see switching the teams when there wasnt’s already the “promise” given of the team captain advantage. oh well.

    @timgunnssister…yes my boyfriend pointed that out to me too…Becky was serving them huge globs of potatoes….sabotage? Seems like an ice-cream scooper would have been a perfect server, rather than a huge spoon. I still think they would have run out eventually, but not as fast.

    And I don’t get the “Monty memorizes recipes” thing…that’s such a lame argument. Doesnt EVERYONE memorize recipes in some way, or at the very least, look at the ingredients before you and remember dishes you have made with them in the past, what pairs well together, what doesnt, etc? I just dont get it. Becky, shut up already. A single mother with no experience but tons of heart is beating you. I love it.

  14. 14
    Posted July 22, 2012 at 10:00 am

    If you’re finding yourself crushing on Bastage, look at his wikipedia page. The accompanying image is so disturbing he’s wearing a black t-shirt and casual jacket and is actually…smiling. It’s such a cute picture I’m still having difficulty processing that it’s Bastage.

  15. 15
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted July 22, 2012 at 11:26 am

    Is Bastage his Americanized name? I was watching ‘Toni On NY’ last night
    with his mom Lidia as a guest, and he was mentioned under the last name Bastainich.

  16. 16
    annie Annie
    Posted July 22, 2012 at 11:38 am

    LIDIA IS HIS MOM?!?!??!
    I love her! OK, she’s gonna become my new mother in law :)

    And yes, that pic on his Wiki page is cute! Swoon!

  17. 17
    Posted July 22, 2012 at 12:18 pm

    I thought Bastage was his Dangerouslied name, although it could be from another board I used to read. He’s always been Bastianich, although that’s likely an Anglicized spelling of the name.

  18. 18
    Dangerously Dangerously
    Posted July 22, 2012 at 4:57 pm

    Yes, Bastage is his “Dangerouslied” name. :-)

  19. 19
    addicted
    Posted July 22, 2012 at 6:36 pm

    @timgunnssister

    The teams were rather equal. (It wasn’t like Frank picked everyone he wanted, and Monti got the remainder). However, what made a huge difference (at least based on the editing) was 2 crucial decisions. Frank going all democratic (interesting, since he seemed to have learned from his mistake from the marines challenge, where he picked the dishes) which allowed Stacey to create the BBQ sauce which was such a huge hit. Additionally, Monti just messed up bad by mis-estimating the sweet potatoes. I don’t see how any of those folks could have voted for the Red team.

  20. 20
    dianaBoss
    Posted July 23, 2012 at 12:46 am

    Is it David Martin-Ez or Marteeeenez? It seems like either that chubby bunny has an odd way of pronouncing his own hispanic last name OR apparently no one on this show has become familiar with how to pronounce common hispanic last names. Luckily Monti’s last name isn’t Ramirez or she’d be called “Ram-eye-rez”.
    Anyways, really why is David still on?? I feel like he sweats into his food and he is really just an eyesore. Tali “my name sounds like a venereal disease” Clavijo (ex. Ugh I got a bad case of taliclavijo on spring break guys…) should be on there more than him, if anything just to amuse and piss off people for entertainment value.

  21. 21
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted July 24, 2012 at 2:20 am

    @Dangerously: You bastardized Bastianich! I see what you did there.

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