Alright! Who’s ready for another Mystery Box challenge? I know I am! As I always am. So are the editors, who do not waste ANY time getting to the meat and potatoes of this episode. That probably means they have something big planned for later on, huh? So, we saw the Flava Elevata set home last week, and I think we’re mostly glad about that, despite knowing that he’s a better cook than at least one of the remaining contestants. The only downside is that he was easy fodder. Oh well, I’ll just have to tap into my creative juices (read: beer) a little harder going forward, huh?
So, what am I waiting for…It’s time to play….
WHAT’S IN THE FUCKIN’ BOX?!?!?!?
Teddy reminds them that the judges will be watching them, tasting their stuff, etc., and so don’t try to…I don’t know, don’t try to something, I guess.
So, on the count of 3…2….1….GO! The lids come up. Midnight Cowboy got his wish…
You can get a pretty good look at a t-bone by stickin’ your head up a butcher’s ass, but…wait…it’s gotta be YOUR bull.
And then, things get weird. In the previous seasons, they’ve worked in awkward little Truman Show-esque commercials into this show to talk about some knives that you could buy for the low price of $300, or an amazing stainless steel frying pan, or something. This time…?
Um, waiter…there’s something gross in my food…
Teddy tells us that ALL of that food will cost less than $15 at Wal-Mart. Ok, I’ve been to a Wal-Mart. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say this produce didn’t come from Wal-Mart. What I wanna know is who got this proposal and was like “yeah, ya know…I never thought of it before, but why SHOULDN’T we be advertising for Wal-Mart in Masterchef?” I don’t like it. Not one bit. When I think of Wal-Mart, I don’t think of fresh, delicious food…and some 10 second spot on MasterChef isn’t going to change that. When I think of Wal-Mart, I think of large people in small clothes and (thank you, Mr. Foxworthy, for introducing me to such a perfect term) back titties.
Stace-aholic chimes in to add to the plug…somehow this one challenge has changed her entire view of Wal-Mart.
Bastage tells them the challenge is to use what’s in the box to make a dish that could be sold in any of their restaurants for $40 (with just $15 worth of ingredients). Cool.
I think they said Wal-Mart like 10 times in that segment.
So, the contestants, they’re a-cookin’. Gordie stops by Tanya to remind her that she’s never been in the top 3. She says she got off to a rough start, but she’s trying really hard to climb out of the basement. AAliens set his corn on fire.
So, it turns out that Becky has decided to cast aside the t-bone and make a dessert. Apparently the part about “sell in our restaurants for $40+” didn’t really sink in…
…our time together may be coming to a close…
TG and Bastage swing over check with Stace-aholic. They ask her who the top 3 remaining are, and she said Josh, DareDevil, and herself. Bastage asks why she left Beckster off the list…Stacy tells us she talks a lot, but hasn’t won anything, so she’s not afraid. Uh, Stacy…if your criteria for top requires winning a challenge…you may want to scratch yourself from that list, too.
Yay, another TV manufactured rivalry.
Gordie stops by AAliens, who, with 10 minutes left, already has his steak at a medium well. Whoops. Midnight Cowboy seems to be a bit hurt by the fact that AAliens doesn’t know how to cook a steak. In fairness, he doesn’t know how to cook damn anything, so don’t take it personal, cowboy.
Tanya tells us she loves how her meat looks, and she pulled it out of her ass. That’s not a dish I really want to try.