Gordie stops by AAliens, and tastes his “trial run.” It tastes like shit, apparently, because Gordie spits it out. AAliens says it’s ok, he has a back up plan, which is to serve raw, ice-cold char. Gordie tells him THAT’S a bad idea, so then he decides he’d better heat it up…with 3 minutes to go.
“I gotta get the hell out of here…”
AAliens tells us it’s time for him to make a movie, and it’s frustrating when he gets interrupted in the middle of his….
“Creative Genius Explosion.”
He goes on to say that “it’s kind of like interrupting a master artist like Picasso.”
Somehow everyone actually gets their dish on the plates.
I could make a joke about how BR was really sweating this challenge, but I’m better than that. Wait. No…no I’m not.
Well, here we go. Judgement time. Felix is called up first. She overcooked the fish. Gordie basically tells her this puts her somewhere around the middle. She tells TG she wanted to challenge herself, and his response is “well, how good do you feel? Like ‘well, at least I challenged myself, but I made a pretty crappy halibut dish.’” Damn, hoss. That’s rough. I like angry TG.
Second up is WH, and somehow she nailed the dish. The judges are impressed. Throughout the rest of the judging, we get intermittent shots of Felix feeling sorry for herself, and sorrier that all her plans backfired…
It looks like this.
She’s sounded a little off to me all episode, too. It’d be funny to learn later that she was actually sicker than fuck this particular day and they used that to make her appear mopey. But she’s probably just mopey.
Frank the Tank is up next, and makes an Indian fried catfish, and there’s this sitar music playing in the background which amuses me. Mostly, because I can’t hear a sitar without thinking of Battlestar Galactica. If you know why, you know why. If you don’t, it’s ok. Somehow Frank also kicked some ass.
Next is Becky with her Rockfish, and she also crushes it.
So, next is BR.
Yellowtail is kinda a gimme…it SHOULD be a gimme…
So he made a deviled tuna steak. It’s barely cooked. In fact, it’s more like a deviled tunasicle.
Oh, that’s some cooooold shit. Get it? ‘cause his fish is…cold?
Bastage tells him he could’ve drizzled olive oil and a squirt of lemon on it and won the round, but instead he did this shit. Olive oil? Fuck, Bastage. The entirety of Japan wants to smack you.
So, AAliens is up next, and if you think the judges have been rough thus far, well, leave it to AAliens to take them to new heights. Bastage interrupts him while he’s explaining his dish to tell him “The name of the show is MasterChef. What do Chefs do?” “They cook.” “Right, so it’s not master orator, or master tell-me-what-my-intention-is-about-cooking. Do you think you’re gonna impressive us with things like ‘sous vide’ and ‘emulsify’?”
Gordie hates him with all his trying to show off and making shitty dishes. He tells him he’s misinterpreting the competition. It’s “MasterChef, not MasterBate!”
AAliens tells us the judges struggle with understanding his flavors. Maybe they’re a little too “old school,” and therefore cannot see the beauty and genius that is his food. Wait…wait, that shot of people laughing at Gordie’s quip, that should’ve gone right here, after that.
DareDevil is up last. Her salmon sucked. The judges were super disappointed.
So, they run out and discuss, and hurry back to tell everyone there were two winners, since there’s gonna be another team event. WH squeaked into second (presumably just over Becky), and Frank the Tank wins the challenge. The sitar starts back up.