MasterChef Recap: Pounding Pork and Warm Pies

Recaps

By Dangerously | Wednesday, June 20, 2012 | 8:21 pm | 12 Comments
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Posted in: Featured, Master Chef, Recaps

Michael is going straight silly, and putting cheddar cheese on top of his pie. A healthy dose, too. Teddy tells them he may as well be baking his apron into the pie, too…

DareDevil’s pie crust breaks. Sasquatch’s butter isn’t cold enough and the pastry is flaking. Gordie gets mad at him for not taking the pass. AAliens begs his pie to cook faster. Time ticks down! Everyone pulls their pies out of the oven! They’re all at least kind of finished. Should be an interesting result. Or not, really. 

You’d have to fuck up pretty bad to do worse than this…

Seriously, the idea of cheese on a pie? The vagina joke there is just too disgusting for me to even make…

So, Gordie makes Frank the Tank present his pie first. He cuts into the pie, and pulls out a piece, and it looks perfect! He tastes it, and it is perfect!! 

Tanya is up next. She tried to be inventive and added a bunch of nuts. Her pie is pretty bad, apparently. I think we all know she won’t last forever, but I don’t want her going home yet. Not while AAliens is here. 

Speaking of, he’s up third, and his pie is lacking filling, but otherwise no comments were made. 

Felix is fourth. Hers isn’t quite sweet enough, but I think it’s probably good enough. 

Michael is fifth. He tells us his pie will definitely keep him safe from elimination. Welp, I know who’s going home now!!! His pie has lots of juices running around in it..

“It looks like someone shit the bed…”

Sasquatch is sixth. He’s lucky as fuck that his doesn’t have pie on it. His filling is great, but the shit crust kind of is causing him concern. 

DareDevil is last. She’s already crying, and somehow thinks she’s going home instead of cheese-pie. 

Gordie tells her he’s never seen her that flustered, and with 18 minutes left her pie still wasn’t in the oven. “What the hell happend?” he asks…

I’m BLIND, you moron!

Gordie asks her what she thinks the pie looks like. She says “rubbish.” He says it looks as good as Frank’s. They haven’t even tasted it yet, and Gordie is basically saying she’s through. Man, that’d be brutal if it tasted worse than cheese-pie. I mean, even if it sucked, at this point he has to say it’s amazing. He does. So yay. She did well. 

And now, it’s time for judgement. Frank, DareDevil, Felix, and AAliens get sent upstairs. It’s down to Michael, Tanya, and Sasquatch. Gordie recaps their failures. Tanya is called up first. She starts begging for her life. I’d send her home for that, just like I’d have sent FE home when he did it. Gordie gives her a pass, and she starts crying…Gordie seems tired of all the tears this year. It’s like the 5th person he’s told to get a grip already. 

It’s down to Sasquatch and Michael. Michael tells us he thinks his dish was better than Sasquatch’s. Sasquatch is mad that he didn’t take the free pass. 

Well, maybe the noble move gave him bonus points. Maybe it’s just that he didn’t put cheese on it. It’s probably that. Michael is sent home. Sad montage! Oh well. After the huge segment they did on him in the first episode, I’m a bit surprised he was only around this long, and really was a minor player. 

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Dangerously

Dangerously is a Southern boy misplaced in windy Chicago. He spends most of his time wandering around Chicago hoping for a random encounter with Graham Elliot...(I bet that guy gives the best hugs!).

12 Comments

  1. 1
    Dangerously Dangerously
    Posted June 21, 2012 at 6:39 am

    “Sasquatch is sixth. He’s lucky as fuck that his doesn’t have pie on it. His filling is great, but the shit crust kind of is causing him concern. ”

    Ugh… “lucky as fuck that his pie doesn’t have cheese on it.”

  2. 2
    michkabibbles
    Posted June 21, 2012 at 8:55 am

    i kind of loved the 10 minute triumph of the human spirit moment showing that christine really can bake. the swelling orchestra and ramsay’s encouragement had me cracking up (and also maybe tearing up just a tiny bit-i admit i’m a sucker for triumph of the human spirit moments)

  3. 3
    RazzBeth
    Posted June 21, 2012 at 9:16 am

    Up here in New England we eat warm apple pie with cheddar cheese on it all the time. Give it a shot – it’s pretty good.

    Why am I not really feeling these contestants (except for the douches) this round? I really don’t have a pick to win or even do well. They are just kinda there…

  4. 4
    timgunnssister timgunnssister
    Posted June 21, 2012 at 10:41 am

    Taking a slice of warm pie and laying a hunk of cheddar on it then eating it is one thing (a yummy thing) but baking the pie with shredded cheddar all over it is just bad. Really bad. The end result is NOT the same. Had he not done that, I wonder how his pie would have been? I kind of loathe FlavaElevata. That probably means he’ll be around for a long, long time.

  5. 5
    Dangerously Dangerously
    Posted June 21, 2012 at 12:10 pm

    Razz – I’ve flipped back to a few of my old recaps (mainly of season 1) to double-check certain claims I’m making, and I can’t help but miss that whole cast. It’s hard for me not to just talk about how much better that season was. Back when they weren’t forcing a villain down your throat, and instead you got to actually CHOOSE who to root against.

    Flava Elevata and Tali…there’s no choice. It’s sad, it makes me miss Tebow and Sharone.

    And we all know I’ll always miss Whit…

  6. 6
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted June 21, 2012 at 3:02 pm

    @michkabubbles: Yes!! The was the funniet part of the episode for me. Asking a blind person, “What do you think your pie looks like?” Then going through every step, walking her through, “You hear that? What do you hear Christine? What am I doing now, Christine?” hahahahahaha!! Like you, my laughter turned to happy tears but that was def a brilliant scene. You didn’t know if it was mocking or encouragement until the editors added a score.

  7. 7
    Rabbit
    Posted June 22, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    This turned out to be another interesting episode I enjoyed watching. I wish I could have tried the apple pie, it looked delicious, and after I had to get my own. I love the job that Monti Carlo and Christine Ha performing well. If anyone I think can win it’s going to be one of the two. I can’t wait to catch the next episode once it’s recorded on my PrimeTime Anytime. Now I can watch my show commercial free if I select to enable the new Auto Hop feature in my Hopper. When I heard about the PrimeTime Anytime Auto Hop feature I couldn’t see how it would be useful, but then I realized most of my shows played during primetime. I was happy to learn from my coworker at Dish how this feature works. So when I playback an event there’s a popup asking if I would like to skip the commercials for that episode. This will save some wear and tear on the remote since I recently had to replace it.

  8. 8
    JimbobJones Jimbob Jones
    Posted June 22, 2012 at 8:04 pm

    “WannaHooch gets really pissed, and thus gets demoted. Real Hooch would’ve laughed at that.”

    Real Hooch would have laughed, then cried, then laughed, then drank a bottle of Jim Beam, then cut off Flava Elevata’s ear because she thought he was funny.

    WannaHooch is nowhere close.

  9. 9
    Mummy Butterfly
    Posted June 22, 2012 at 9:10 pm

    I loved the scene with Daredevil and her pie and Gordon. It made me fall in love with him just a little bit more. HK is one of my favorite other shows, so when he acts HUMAN on Masterchef (awww, memories of Gordon and Whitney from Season 1 make me nostalgic), I LOVE it.

  10. 10
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted June 22, 2012 at 9:23 pm

    Methinks Rabbit came to advertise the Hopper.

    Spam gets verbose.

  11. 11
    Andyourlittledogtoo
    Posted June 24, 2012 at 11:39 pm

    I don’t think they should have declared a winner in the Marine challenge for a few days – you know, the vote could have changed if the Marines developed salmonella or trichinosis.

    I don’t think these huge feeding challenges are fair for this show though. These are home cooks not restaurant or catering people. They usually have no experience in how to cook for such large numbers, how long things will take, how to time them, etc for such a large dining service. They aren’t professionals. The Hells Kitchen contestants sure, but not the Masterchef contestants.

  12. 12
    JimbobJones Jimbob Jones
    Posted June 25, 2012 at 12:19 pm

    I don’t know, Andyour. I think it’s kind of fair when they’re trying to find the best all-around home cook. I don’t know too many people who love to cook who haven’t cooked for 30-40 people at least a few times in their lives.

    Heck, I’ve personally cooked for a good 120 people, and I’m every bit as non-professional as these people. And that was by myself, without a team of people helping me.

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