MasterChef Recap: Revenge is a Bitch!


By Dangerously | | 8:55 pm | 18 Comments

Sorry, guys. As you may recall, I was doing a bit of traveling this past week and, well, only just got home. Who’d have thought that I wouldn’t be able to get online at a nerd convention?!? 

We’re down to four. The final four. The…fantastic four? Are they worthy of such a tag? Frank the Toaster, Becky, Josh, and DareDevil. At least DareDevil is out of the same comic universe. So, maybe I’ll go with “yes’ on that. 

This week, the almost fantastic four have to cook for some guest judges, as well as the usual crew. Since you know the regular guys, I’ll skip straight to the guests, who are landing in LA RIGHT NOW. 

…on the MasterChef jet. 

I’ll say that again. They’re arriving on the MasterChef jet. Why does MasterChef need a jet? Oh well.

So, the first guest judge is Guy Savoy. He has restaurants all over the world, has been awarded 8 Michelin stars, and was Gordon Ramsay’s culinary mentor. Josh tells us that’s great, because he considers Gordie HIS culinary mentor. I think that’s a pretty loose interpretation of the word “mentor.” “Temporary teacher” would be a bit more accurate, right? 

Second guest judge is Daniel Boulud. He ALSO has restaurants all over the world. He only has four Michelin stars, so I’m not really sure what this hack is doing as a guest judge….oh, he’s an author of 6 best-selling cookbooks. Frank the Toaster tells us this guy is even scarier than Gordie. 

The final guest judge is Alain Ducasse. Hey, guys….surprise, he, too, has restaurants all over the world. Crazy. Also, he has 21 Michelin stars (that’s more like it), making him one of only two chefs in the world with more Michelin stars than Gordie. 

…until that MasterChef private jet crashes…then there will only be one left….

Becky can’t believe this guy flew in from Paris JUST to eat their food. Yeah, they’re probably not getting paid heftily, both in cash and handjobs from Bastage. 

Teddy tells the four that anyone in the world, including him, would be both honored and terrified to have this opportunity. 

So, this is a 2v2 team challenge. Like how they did it last year. DareDevil had the best dish last week. Bastage reminds her that…if she loses, she’s going to be cooking against her teammate in a 1v1 pressure test. So…either pick the best person and hope you don’t blow it, or pick someone you think you can beat. I’m not sure who of the remaining four is weak enough to gamble on. Probably better to pick the person you’ll cook the best with. 

So, who does DareDevil pick? She says she wants to go into the challenge with the plan of winning, so she chooses Becky. 

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Dangerously

Dangerously is a Southern boy misplaced in windy Chicago. He spends most of his time wandering around Chicago hoping for a random encounter with Graham Elliot...(I bet that guy gives the best hugs!).

18 Comments

  1. 1
    Josh Darius
    Posted September 4, 2012 at 10:53 pm

    This was a good show, now they are trying to make it another Caucasian girl or the black dude they brought back who cooked dog crap on blood and corn vomit, I’ll pass on that cookbook. This was the last Gram show Ill watch they are wayyyyyy too phony, dont mind some but this is more scripted than Dallas.

  2. 2
    Pikey578
    Posted September 4, 2012 at 11:54 pm

    I really enjoyed your recap, Dangerously, but I do have one little nitpicky thing (sorry):
    “For the blue team’s entree, Becky gets thrashed for not getting all the rice cakes on the plates.
    For the red team’s entree, heaps of praise, especially for Josh for making such a fantastic yogurt.”
    I think you have the two teams mixed up here. Becky/DareDevil were the red team and the boys were the blue team…
    I was sorry to see Frank go. I thought it would be him and DareDevil fighting it out for the win.

  3. 3
    timgunnssister timgunnssister
    Posted September 5, 2012 at 7:42 am

    Why did the beautiful rhino get offered a job and no one else who was off’d got offered anything? Seriously? Just seems odd.

    I just don’t like Becky and really don’t want her to win. But, I’m still amazed that Christina has made it this far. I know she hasn’t always been blind but I honestly wonder if she doesn’t have at least some vision. I just don’t get how she can create plates more beautiful then those with sight.

    My pony (I miss you, Monti!) is gone so I think I might be on Team Josh now.

    And I’m growing weary of Gordon and his heinous pauses. Too much Gordon in too little time. 3 shows? Simultaneously? Too much.

  4. 4
    Yeknom
    Posted September 5, 2012 at 11:11 am

    I would love a Josh & DareDevil showdown. Mostly because I Becky grates on my nerves.

  5. 5
    Pawesl
    Posted September 5, 2012 at 11:41 am

    Christine does have some vision. She has described her sight as looking into a foggy mirror where things appear as shadows. She said she could count fingers if they are a foot from her face. Anything further just looks like a blur.

    She is Legally blind but not completely blind.

  6. 6
    KartofflMuter
    Posted September 5, 2012 at 12:35 pm

    The food really isn’t home cooking anymore. I really want Monti’s book . Monti cooks for a family and I’ll bet,if that husband ever came back,she’d know what to do with his spotted dick.

  7. 7
    Josh Darius
    Posted September 5, 2012 at 1:01 pm

    Good point TimGunn, but cant have a white Caucasian win3 in a row, probably why they edited Becky into a B—-. Josh cools garbage so Christine will win, sooo scripted.

  8. 8
    Dangerously Dangerously
    Posted September 5, 2012 at 1:11 pm

    White Caucasians are totally the worst kind :-)

    And don’t worry about nitpicking, Pikey – I was having all sorts of issues last night getting the red/blue teams straight. Thought I’d finally worked it out….but 5 days of no sleep and heavy drinking left me a little….what’s the word?…something.

  9. 9
    Sam
    Posted September 5, 2012 at 3:47 pm

    I thought that it was a pretty good show, even if the Josh\ Frank confrontation did seem a little overdone, if not manufactured. I thought it was ok because the challenge in the showdown was really hard, which made it a test of skill because one of them could have just failed. I had totally forgotten about the show last night until a Dish coworker called me to talk about it. Luckily, Primetime Anytime on my Hopper automatically records it for me so I was able to watch it this morning. I think that we are going to have a really good competition going into the finals because no one is really out front right now. If I had to pick I would go with Josh, because he seems to be the most intense about it.

  10. 10
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted September 5, 2012 at 4:18 pm

    Dangerously: Nope. Not surprised, as you figured. Not surprised at all. In fact, during all of the buildup and the commercial and more buildup I barely looked up from the delicious cookies I was eating. Diiiidn’t even BLINK. Sigh.

    I could be totally wrong, however, this whole season appears to me to be a setup for Christine to win. Becky is far too unlikeable (did ya hear her yell at DD?) to win, and Josh might be a bit too smug. Okay he’s way too smug.

    I hope Monti wins. I think she should still have a chance since Josh got the boot but is back. Ew I detest it when competitions do that (I’m looking at you, Biggest Loser, ANTM, Survivor, et al).

  11. 11
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted September 5, 2012 at 4:19 pm

    The sample soufflés all looked delicious. I would have eaten any or all of them. Watching this show is dangerous.

    I loathe Becky…and I’m not fond of Josh. I had hoped for a Frank/Christie finale. Now I just want Christine to win.

  12. 12
    Mummy Butterfly
    Posted September 5, 2012 at 6:23 pm

    I want Daredevil to win, she and Josh were my ponies from early on, and I still think both he and Becky have been edited terribly. That being said – they can only EDIT what you say – they can’t MAKE you say stuff, so I’ve got a heaping hill of disappointment in those two. :(

    Ah, Daredevil – WIN, WIN, WIN!

  13. 13
    Josh Darius
    Posted September 5, 2012 at 9:22 pm

    White Caucasians, did I really type that, LOL. Anyway Im with you Amy Ooops, they wont let her lose, I think its why they brought Josh back and carried him into the finals to be DDs’ sheep. Becky did get offered a job by Gordan at “any” of his restaurants, sure thats in the US, but pretty, pretty, pretty good.

  14. 14
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted September 6, 2012 at 5:38 pm

    @JD: Too true. I will be really stunned if someone else wins. What’s better for ratings/hype/etc. then a blind chick winning the whole enchilada.

    Speaking of Christine winning, WTF? They totally changed the rules to accommodate her. I call bullshit, quite frankly (been watching too much RHONY) . I don’t believe for a moment she was able to do everything they said she did without some serious help. I’m sure she’s a fan-freaking-tastic cook, but the time restraints, among other things, would have been her downfall many episodes ago if she were playing by the “normal” rules. Sigh. Rant over. I do like her, though.

  15. 15
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted September 7, 2012 at 9:10 am

    ^ She does have a helper though, and I’m pretty sure that her helper is allowed to tell her time when she asks being that everyone else is free to look at the clock as much as they want.
    The helper can also tell her what color the food is and stuff like that.
    Plus, Christine is not that blind…if she was like lights out can’t see anything blind, I’d call shenanigans. But legally blind people can see way more shit that people give them credit for LOL.

  16. 16
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted September 7, 2012 at 5:43 pm

    @chaosbutterfly: Good point. I forget that she does have some vision. I think what really irks me is that there are so many things, especially in the beginning of the season, that they skipped over…presumably for Christine.

    Something just doesn’t feel quite right to me. I’m weird, I know. I’m pretty sure, though, I’d rather see Christine win than the other two! I go back and forth a bit. Since I don’t cook and won’t be buying a cookbook I guess it matters not lol.

  17. 17
    ZenChef
    Posted September 10, 2012 at 11:38 pm

    I am going to tell you that the souffles josh presented were in no way in hell, heaven, or the Land of Oz the same ones we saw him put in the oven! The glopped over lack of finesse with which he piled the batter into the ramekins would not only make it difficult to cook all the way through in the supposed 10 minutes he left himself(which even a perfectly put together and spooned in batter would take, in the very words of Ramsey from a previous MasterChef “a minimum of 14 minutes”) but also, the batter would have had to shrink then to rise to that perfect flat height it was at presentation.There is no way that piled up batter would not have puffed up into a big ball and burst open into a horrible gooey mess. Anyone notice they never gave a good tension bulding look at the souffles in the oven. Thats a first for a Masterchef souffle challenge. As soon as I saw Josh’s souffles I yelled foul. One way or another we were either lied to about how much time josh had and look of his souffles going into the oven or they switched out his souffles!
    Another thing…..since when does a customer care if the souffle they are eating is “technically perfect” if it lacks in flavour? These guys keep going on about flavour except when it suits them not to. Franks souffles did not look like crap and they tasted better so he should have won. What was that bulshit from Bastage about Josh’s having more fragrance but it lacked in flavour yet he still wins the raspberry?! To me, I would be right f’d off if something smelled amazing but tasted like crap! As a pastry Chef I will say when it comes to souffle Id rather have a rougher look with amazing flavour than a picture perfect souffle that has none. This is a food eating contest not a food photo contest!

  18. 18
    Josh Darius
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 10:57 pm

    Zen you have blown my mind, thanks…..an where the heck is the final recap its 3 days after already, now this is b.s.

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