MasterChef Recap: They’ve Got Crabs!!

237 Comments

1. 1
   KartofflMuter
   Posted June 24, 2012 at 9:03 pm

   Grrr how I loathe Failed Effort. Why didn’t they get rid of Tali? At least Helene cooked something. Tali made the cover of a sci fi paperback-” The Floating Eye on Talus Five”. And Farting Earwig ,gloating about the blind,humble grad student possible losing a few fingers,making fun of a single parent with low self-confidence after a recent divorce. That nip-slip remark was totally degrading. I would have asked Freaking Egregious to strip and wiggle his weeie if he though there was a chance anyone was carrying a microscope.But then-I’m shy.There was no excuse for Tali not going down-except that they know he has no chance in hell of winning,nor did Helene,so it was just a matter of slow torture and entertainment value. The only real contenders are Josh,David,Felix, Daredevil,and Monti,and 1 or 2 dark horses. They always leave an annoying twit alive like Ivy League boy who caved on desserts last year-layered past pancakes if I recall. Ha-obviously never ate a Palascinte in his life. Too down market? It was good enough for the Emperor of Austria. Awwwww.
   I’m disabled now-so no Master Chef apron for me but 25 years ago,even 15 years ago, I was cooking for 45-120 people at a time and the menu consisted of 16-21 dishes. We went to India and the my mother-in-law was dying so I was concerned she eat well and tried to show the nurse and maid how to cook nutritious food. The next day I had an audience. The day after that,the husbands wanted the wives to learn more from me. It was hilarious. I’m Austrian. I just love tasty food. I read today that healthy food costs 3-4 times more than fast food.
   Yahoo tricksters. We couldn’t afford fast food.We spent $100 a month on food. Healthy,interesting food. I spent $50 for 4 adults when we were newlyweds. Now it’s $100 for 2. Eat what’s on sale.Do what stores hate-buy only the loss leaders. Every day is a mystery box. Every day-I treated like a game and I played against myself. Big deal. There are harder things in life. So I’m rooting for Monti and David and Daredevil.It’s early yet,
   and I can’t remember Felix’s backstory but she seems like a perky little package so unless she has a wardrobe malfunction,thumbs up to her and Josh as well.

2. 2
   Ed
   Posted June 24, 2012 at 9:37 pm

   My favorite moment of the episode was FE’s reaction when Tali was sent back to his station. Holding his chest like his heart was almost ripped out. I was cracking up at that.

   Still trying to figure everyone out, but at this point I’m pulling hardest for Josh and Becky.

3. 3
   Jimbob Jones
   Posted June 25, 2012 at 12:14 am

   I think WannaHooch really IS crazy, but not Cool Crazy like the real Hooch was, but scary “skin your cat” crazy, which is why I can’t really get behind her (and wouldn’t let her behind me). One second, she’s talking about her ex’s balls, the next she’s upset that someone says to flash her nips. So she’s either nuts, or wants to be seen as nuts. Either way, I don’t like her.

   I do give you props for The Dark Tower reference.

4. 4
   Mummy Butterfly
   Posted June 25, 2012 at 5:27 am

   I love me some Daredevil and Becky – and I really like Josh, too. I have this feeling he’s got good food, but they are “holding off” on really talking about him. To much OTHER drama to play with early in the season!

   As far as Helene goes, I was done with her when she did the “giggle, giggle, Gordy saved me” crap. I despise Tali (don’t worry, I realize it’s just me – he’s REALLY AMAZING and I’m simply…you know…a commoner who can’t understand his deep thoughts and plans). But Tali cannot win this thing. His food sucks. It has consistently sucked. Not to mention, Gordon doesn’t seem to like him. Which (as GR is the guy in charge) is really the kiss of death.

5. 5
   Dangerously
   Posted June 25, 2012 at 9:49 am

   I’m pretty sure Tali sucks and has no chance of winning, but at the same time, the longer he’s kept around, the longer he has to figure out that it’s FOOD, and it’s not ok to prepare it like you’ve chugged a bottle of absinthe and mailed your ear to someone as a gift.

   Really, though, I just want to see FE’s heart ripped straight out of his chest, and on the back of a challenge where he gave his boy a leg up would have been too perfect for words.

6. 6
   KartofflMuter
   Posted June 25, 2012 at 10:25 am

   imbob- how very male of you. Go stand next to Freakin Eggshaped. The woman,living on a shoestring with her 2 yr. old is trying hard to pull it together after what I assume was a nasty divorce. She got the child so some-one deemed her “not crazy.” There are many of us out there who,unlike Lorraina Bobbit,would not have cut off dear hubbie’s magic wand and thrown it out the car window, (so he could have it successfully reattached and go on to a “short” career in porn) we would have taken the time to get out the blender and popped the pecker in. For a sure and sudden death,you could saute and feed it to him on toast,but that might be over the top.
   In most other cultures but America,saying something as crude and juvenile as suggesting a” nip slip” to a female-a grown mother of a child,would be considered an offense worthy of a pummeling at the very least. If you can’t see that, your mother must be very proud,as I’m sure his is. Now I’m sure you’ll have lovely things to say about the psychopath that I must be,Lol. I happen to think I have a delightful sense of humor and a lot of women share my thoughts,although we wouldn’t act on them. It’s what keeps us sane. Monti made those fantastic Scotch eggs,so she thinks out of the box-boxes that Feral Eel can’t think of. Monti doesn’t skin cats. You just make things up to put her down because she threatens you and she’s not typically attractive. She has a 40′s look. I don’t think she’ll win,but shut up and give her a chance. She has a better chance than sexist pig and racist pig,or as I like to call them,Drib and Drab.

7. 7
   Jimbob Jones
   Posted June 25, 2012 at 10:52 am

   Wow, KM, seems you have a wee bit of baggage. And by “wee bit”, I mean “a big steaming pile”.

   You do realize that FE, as big of a douchebag as he is, was just making a joke. In general. Not to the psycho. Right?

   Just like this week, your favorite psycho made a joke about destroying her ex-husband’s balls. Were you offended by that? Or did you have a good chuckle? (Or cackle, which seems more your speed)

   Since you sense of humor seems so refined, I’m sure you caught that he really didn’t expect anyone to show their nipples. And wasn’t truly suggesting it to anyone. If you take it as a real suggestion, that probably says more about you than it does about him.

   But of course, I guess now would be the time for me to get offended that you’re talking about putting a man’s penis in a blender (because that keeps you what you call “sane”, Sybill). And about WannaHooch’s “balls” joke this week.

   Guess what, though? I WASN’T offended. Because I have a “delightful” sense of humor, just like you. Of course, mine seems to be genuine, while yours seems more the “drunk dial your ex boyfriend’s new girlfriend at 2am, and threaten to kill her family” variety.

   Dammit, now I kind of want FE to win, simply to piss you off.

8. 8
   Jimbob Jones
   Posted June 25, 2012 at 11:03 am

   Oh, and for the record, I don’t think WannaHooch is scary nuts because she got offended by a stupid joke.

   I think she’s scary nuts because her temperament changes every 30 seconds. One second, she’s laughing about chopping up her ex-husband’s balls, the next she’s bitching about something, the next she seems somewhat normal.

   Someone who changes that quickly has some SERIOUS issues. And they didn’t start with her husband.

   Also for the record, until she started showing her nutzoid side, I thought she was pretty cute. I think she was trying a little too hard to be Katy Perry, but I thought she was cute nonetheless.

9. 9
   KartofflMuter
   Posted June 25, 2012 at 11:08 am

   Oh-now aren’t you sweet. Now where did I leave my blow darts? Just joking,perhaps. Do you have a cat I can skin? Rothflmao. Having been married 40 years, -well now-aren’t you just tiny and precious. If I ever meet a Christian,I’ll have them pray for you. There must be a reversed crucifix around here somewhere Billybob.

10. 10
    Jimbob Jones
    Posted June 25, 2012 at 11:31 am

    Give your husband my condolences.

11. 11
    Eric
    Posted June 25, 2012 at 12:11 pm

    Apparently according to Ben Starr’s blog, Helene has a Master’s in nutrition and used to be so obese as a child that she could only get around via wheelchair. So now she’s dedicated to promoting healthy eating. Unfortunately, the producers did not refer to this story at all.

12. 12
    Jimbob Jones
    Posted June 25, 2012 at 12:27 pm

    @Eric — they tend to skip stories on people that aren’t around for very long. Which is why I didn’t really expect Tali to go home this week — there’s still too much “fodder” left, like “guy with a cowboy hat”.

13. 13
    Mummy Butterfly
    Posted June 25, 2012 at 12:36 pm

    Hrm, I mean – IF I was there, I probably would have been offended if FE had said the “nipple-comment” near me. However, I would have been FAR more likely to respond with “Don’t ask, don’t tell has been turned over. Why don’t you whip your own out, Pretty-Boy.” I’m not shy. Dude is an idiot and I have little tolerance for idiots of EITHER gender.

    But Monti’s response doesn’t make me want to jump to her defense either. Now, the testicle comment wasn’t DIRECTED at another cook (or even at the male cooks in general), so that is a little different. However, it was a little creepy, especially if you’ve made it clear the show before that sexual humor bothers you. Either you’re for it or against it, and if you’re going to be SO against it, then any general sexual humor should be kept out of your comments, in order not to make yourself look dumb.

    Nipplegate is over. Move on, both of you. It’s not like either of you is taking home the title.

14. 14
    Jimbob Jones
    Posted June 25, 2012 at 12:53 pm

    @MB — I coulda been a contenda!!!

    The thing with WannaHooch is that I don’t think she was offended by the joke. I think she was “offended” by the joke made (only vaguely) about women.

    Say that the the soldiers were all women. I fully expect that FE’s joke would have changed to something about the men whipping them out to gain points or something.

    And WannaHooch would have been equally as “offended”, but not for the men, but because he thought the women would want to see penis.

    She’s bitter about her divorce — maybe rightfully so, who knows — but no matter what a man says, if it could in any way be construed as insulting, she’s going to take it as such.

    But then, in the same breath, she’ll say derogatory stuff about men.

15. 15
    Chris Velazquez
    Posted June 25, 2012 at 3:20 pm

    I’m amongst those who think that FE’s nipple slip comment was rude as hell and fucking gross, whereas Monti’s (I refuse to call her WannaHooch because I like Monti and I fucking loathe that crass drunk from last season) testicle comment, while creepy, was directed at her ex-husband, someone she knows and is not even there anyway. But FE’s comment was directed at his fellow competitors, women he just barely even met, so that kind of joke to people he don’t even know is in real bad taste, and I myself would’ve been as pissed as Monti. Jokes are fine, but not funny if they’re inappropriate. Look no further than that hack Seth MacFarlane for the clearest example ever.

    And yeah, only reason that retarded Talihawk got saved was because there’s still 14 people left, so they don’t want to afford losing one of the only two douchenozzles available.

16. 16
    KartofflMuter
    Posted June 25, 2012 at 3:42 pm

    Sorry,It’s Thai chicken and a Persian cucumber salad. He’s still working on the big smile on his face, If I passed on your message,he’d feel it fit and proper to pommel som sense into you since neither of us are Americans or have such views as yours,Billyboob.

17. 17
    michkabibbles
    Posted June 25, 2012 at 3:52 pm

    my dislike of monti comes from her insistence that this reality cooking competition show is all that stands between her family and financial ruin. if i have to see her weep one more time about how she needs this win to care for her son, i might practice some dismemberment of my own. i know times are hard , but…get an effing job to save your son. or two if you have to, millions of people do it every day.

18. 18
    Mummy Butterfly
    Posted June 25, 2012 at 4:31 pm

    @Michkabibbles – yeah, I can see that being VERY annoying. This win may HELP her, but there are millions of single parents working hard without reality tv to make lives for their kids. I did it for years.

19. 19
    KartofflMuter
    Posted June 25, 2012 at 4:36 pm

    Fully agree.The retarded Flea made a gratuitous crude comment which abused women have every right to take exception too,even if men think “the little woman” is being high strung. Damn-even the nuns are rebelling and being called radical feminists by the Pope because they insist on feeding the poor and ministering to the sick and hungry instead of concerning themselves with sexual discrimination. Men and sex. Can you keep it in your pants and let us move on? Even the Pope? Why the hell do you think giant testicles were put in the mystery box?
    For the inevitable offal snicker effect.
    But seriously,just because Monti has murderous feelings towards her ex (and who doesn’t?) what does that say?
    She’s human? She has passion? She’s tapped in to her feelings? She never bought the blue fuzzy doll that says,”everything will be o.K.”? Hey-I’m a radical bitch. I always have been. I told my kids ont he first day of school, “If anyone touches you ,tell them they’ll draw back a nub.” NO-we don’t live in a trailer. They are mixed race,mixed religion,exceptionally bright and attractive and small. One is a CEO,one is head of HR, one is in design. They all cook. They’ve traveled the world. They don’t disrespect men or women. And they don’t take garbage from anyone.

20. 20
    michkabibbles
    Posted June 25, 2012 at 4:44 pm

    @MB-i can see her playing it up for the cameras, creating a ‘character’, and a story-arc for the producers to work with, but i honestly think that’s a bit more offensive than if she’s sincere (and more offensive to me than any nipple or testicle comments that have come before). i can see someone saying, wow this money will sure help out, etc etc, but acting like your livlihood depends on it and you don’t have a choice, makes me want to start smacking.

21. 21
    crankyguy
    Posted June 25, 2012 at 4:46 pm

    “But seriously,just because Monti has murderous feelings towards her ex (and who doesn’t?) what does that say? She’s human? She has passion? She’s tapped in to her feelings?”

    Couldn’t the same be said of some guy who just wants to see some boob? Some radical women want the right to go topless whenever and wherever they wish. That would be fine with me, but these same women demand that men not gawk at them when they let loose with the bare boobage, and THAT condition is not kewl.

22. 22
    AmyOops
    Posted June 25, 2012 at 4:47 pm

    @CV: I like Monti, too. She seems like a pretty cool chick. Felix is another fave. They’re ALL in the reality TV pressure cooker…they’re gonna be odd at times.

    BTW I can’t decide decide if I would’ve been offended by the nipple comment. I may have been if I were all freaked out about the competition and didn’t like the dude, anyway. I DO think the commenter who said FE would have made a ball joke is probably correct.

23. 23
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted June 25, 2012 at 4:50 pm

    I bet Flava Elevata would laugh to see how mad people are getting over this.
    It’s really not that serious.

24. 24
    KartofflMuter
    Posted June 25, 2012 at 4:55 pm

    100% in concurrence.

25. 25
    KartofflMuter
    Posted June 25, 2012 at 5:23 pm

    Not to be intrusive-but I read this kind of comment frequently and I don’t understand it. Do you have a job? Have you kept yours for the last 10 years? Or are you 12? or 70? Have you missed the news? I won’t respond till you do. But some of these whiners truly feel this is their last chance.

26. 26
    michkabibbles
    Posted June 25, 2012 at 6:13 pm

    @kartofflmuter-i’m sorry, was your comment directed at me, about what i said about being offended at monti saying she needs to win this competition to take care of her son? (there have been a few commenters since then, i’m honestly not sure)

    if it is me you’re talking to then to answer your questions: i am 36, i do have a job, i have had the same job for the last 10 years, while completing school and grad school, while also sometimes holding a second job. i have been continuously working fulltime, with no breaks in employment, since i was 16-sometimes 2-or 3 jobs.

    i do not have any children, which i know would change all of those things dramatically.

    what i object to in what monti says, or the character that shes trying to portray, is this new american ideal of not actually having to work for anything. get on tv, win a competition, become a star, be set for life. thats an ok game plan for a lot of people, and i honestly dont have any problems with it, in general. you want to be a famewhore? go ahead. even if you have kids and a family, go ahead. but its this portrayal of a single mom who has no choice in her life but to go on tv to save her son that i really disagree with. there are a million reasons to go on television to try and win money. but financial responsibility and stability isn’t really one of them. i find her remarkably disingenuous.

27. 27
    Mummy Butterfly
    Posted June 25, 2012 at 7:23 pm

    @michkabibbles – I agree! You hit the nail on the head – “portrayal of a single mom who has no choice in her life but to go on tv to save her son that i really disagree with. there are a million reasons to go on television to try and win money. but financial responsibility and stability isn’t really one of them. i find her remarkably disingenuous.”

    Do it to win, do it to show your son you can achieve anything you set your mind too, but don’t do it to give your son a life – you need to figure out food, shelter and clothing in a way that DOESN’T involve TV…

28. 28
    KartofflMuter
    Posted June 25, 2012 at 7:34 pm

    Ha aaaaa. As I thought. You’ve had the easy life. Hello. I have a son your age. So sit and lesson to an old hag. My boy worked 2 jobs from the time he was twelve,and 3 from the time he was 16. I did too. Well,I sort of had to since my father died then. He won awards,accolades, 10 time state TKW champ. Full scholorship to Germany,
    etc, etc. Always employed. He’s the CEO of his own company now. He had it easy. He had us. We were always there for him. He wanted to go to to Amsterdam for a composium on Conflict Resolution,we paid. 6 months in DC to study the Legislature at work? OK. If he failed,he was always welcome home. He still is.Our daughter was the opposite. Total slacker. Cut class. Straight D average. Wouldn’t even learn to drive. Had to buy her a car. 2 weeks later she had a job. C. College. Got enough credits there that she lost nothing and still finished in 4 years at a State U. and has her Masters of Science. Employed 6 weeks later after moving 2000 miles away. She was offered a job the week before but told them it was a low-ball offer and she was worth more. Anybody made that remark to her,they’d have had the fastest free sex change in history. She worked full-time during Grad-school. Why? Well obviously because her fame whore parents were unemployed. I know.I know. “Why don’t you just get a job? I repeat-haaaaaaaa. At the low end of your career,that’s easy. And 36 looks young,sort of.
    But,now,60? OK with 3 Masters Degrees,having been the CEO several times over,the CTO? Ever heard the term overqualified? Even Community Colleges aren’t hiring. Not with 44 years experience. Professors drive taxis and lay carpets in our town. What do you think unemployed women with daycare issues and no work history can find to do? An you find her “disingenuous” do you?
    Pray tell what are these advanced degrees in that you have? Because mine are in Theatre /Dance/American Lit
    and I say she’s not faking it,she’s just plain stressed out. A great many of us are. And however theatrical you may find it with no small lives depending on you,there are people who wake up with the threat of foreclosure over their heads,who have hanged themselves when they found out loan modification was another big scam
    . Where have you been? Busy? How dare you call one slightly not to your liking female a famewhore?
    Pontificate when you have the sure and certain knowledge. Till then,as my mother said when she was really furious, “Halt die Pappen.”

29. 29
    michkabibbles
    Posted June 25, 2012 at 7:36 pm

    @madame butterfly-thanks! i wasn’t sure if i was making sense. i actually kind of liked monti until she started crying about her son. i have no doubt she loves him and wants the best for him, but the way she portrays her struggles (and solution to those struggles!) grates. and the thing is, it’s obvious she’s a passionate and talented cook with a real chance to win.

30. 30
    KartofflMuter
    Posted June 25, 2012 at 8:07 pm

    Have none of you EVER been desperate? I realize I have the adavantage of a theatre background. But I chose theatre because I’ve been desperate since I was 3. You will never meet or see me-and I’m not a fame-whore. Hell-I’m almost a hermit. Lol. So I can speak the truth. I left my house 13 times last yar. No-you will never see me. Ha ha.
    You liked her till she cried. Well ding dong good for you. What a good Christian -you’d for sure hate my house. I watch Prachi die on Jhansi Ki Rani and I cried for an hour. My husband only cried for 1/2 an hour. But he’s cold.
    Ishkabble-you have no children,no tiny life that depends on you. No life you have nurtured and cared for. You have not carried a life ,birthed them. You may have been a spectator for $12 at the movies. That gives you zero rights to determine to what length a mother will go to. A mother,cornered,will kill you to defend her cub. I would never ever consider going on a reality show -ever ever ever. I am 95% disabled. However,if I still had a small child at home, with the talents I have and the disabilities,I would weigh them and give them my best shot-and you’d better believe I would win. I do sit down comedy like no one you’ve ever seen before.

31. 31
    michkabibbles
    Posted June 25, 2012 at 8:23 pm

    @kartofflmuter-i feel like you’re misreading everything i’m trying to say. i don’t disregard monti’s desire to do right by her son, or her dream of becoming a tv star and/or chef. it’s the fact that she portrays herself as desperately poor, and the only way she can care for/ take care of her son is to win a t.v. competition, which, frankly, is just not true.
    -”what a good christian”-religion has nothing to do with anything, you’re seeing what you want to see-i’m neither christian nor especially spiritual. again, you only picked part of what i said. it wasn’t the fact that she was crying that bothered me, it was that she was crying because she’s so desperate to win this competition for the sole benefit of raising her child.
    -and frankly, i find your description of me as a ‘spectator’ completely insulting. you’re right, i’ve never birthed a child, but that doesn’t mean i don’t have people who depend on me, or that i’ve never nurtured or cared for others. those are sweeping generalizations to make about someone you’ve never met. and i do have a right to determine what lengths a mother will go to to care for her child-i, and my twin brother, were raised by a single parent-a woman who sometimes worked 3-4 jobs to make sure we didn’t end up homeless (and yes, it was close at times). and THAT is why monti bothers me-my mother would never have depended on a tv show to make sure we were taken care of. she did it herself.

    and if she truly is desperate, as you say, i honestly dont think that leaving your child for a month to film a tv show that you started out at 1:100 odds to win is really the most logical, rational thing to do, financially.

32. 32
    Jimbob Jones
    Posted June 25, 2012 at 9:05 pm

    @michkabibbles — when are they going to add a “like” button to this page? That was awesome.

    “i feel like you’re misreading everything i’m trying to say” — I would say that this person is TRYING to misread everything you said. That’s the vibe I got from most of her posts, so I wouldn’t sweat it.

    But guess what, we need an informed opinion.

    Mine.

    I’m 36 as well, and have 2 kids — daughters I love more than life, and, guess what, I cook, clean, spend time with my kids — you know, all those things a “man” would never do, according to certain overly-jaded people here. For those posters — maybe you should find yourself a better partner rather than thinking all men are like your shitty mates or past-mates. We’re not all like that.

    Guess what else I do — I WORK. I put myself through college (working 30-40 hours a week while taking 20 credits), got a job as a software engineer where I CONTINUED to work. Got married, had kids, and guess what — I CONTINUE to work.

    And also guess what? If I couldn’t find a job as a software engineer, I’d go flip friggin’ burgers a hundred hours a week. I sure as hell wouldn’t go on Masterchef with my sob story while someone else took care of my kids that I “care so much about”.

    So, yeah, I’d say “famewhore” is a pretty apt description.

    As for the question that I KNOW is coming — if my daughters, when they’re grown, had a joke like the “nipple” joke in their presence, I’d hope they would have the common sense to realize that it’s a stupid joke. If FE directed it at a particular person, I’d be right there saying it was a dick move. But he just kind of said it in the same way he’d say “let’s get a pool together to pay off the judges”. (And, like I said earlier, if the judges had all been women, it’s a pretty safe assumption that he would have gender-reversed the joke.)

    Misogynistic? Yeah. Inappropriate? Sure.

    But worthy of all the scorn? Nope. There are so many other reasons to hate the douche — this joke was a stupid throwaway.

    Also, if WannaHooch got offended, like if she was religious or something, I’d say “fine”. But saying ball jokes, no matter WHO they’re against, on the next episode just makes her look like a hypocrite.

33. 33
    KartofflMuter
    Posted June 25, 2012 at 10:15 pm

    Ishkabibble-I have obiously not see the same episodes you have where she portrays herself as desperately poor.
    “Arr you pearhaps prrojectink ontoo yuour own childhoud expieeriences?” Hmmmm?
    You don’t find Racist boy offensive who wants to win just because David-shouldn’t?
    And David-who’s my favorite-who’s from the barrio-life is pretty sad there. I know. I lived there. The bus is called “the rape escape.” His is Chicago. Mine was L.A. The only difference is that in L.A.,the bees are too weak to sting anyone. Just never wear red or blue.
    As for my “What a good Christian” that’s just me. Why take that personally? Have you declared your G-d-awfull faith,here,and before witness, and before our lord J.C. , from whom all good things worth $9.99 or less
    come?
    Sorry-Just me again.
    As for you being a spectator-sorry-be insulted all the hell you want. Have cramps 4-6 days a month. Boys sneering and making fun of you. (Weren’t you one of them?) Get pregnant. Vomit for nine months,24 hours a day-no such thing as the cute little “morning sickness” in my family. Have that child and the stitches,no anesthetic. No epidural. Nothing. Rip 8 ways.Have them stitch you up befor the numbing anesthetic takes-men are on a hurry-golf,breakfast,whatever.Did you share that nurturing? Diapers? Breastfeeding,mastitis,9 months of colic-from 6pm-6am,Lose your identity when your body shifted from a size 4 to a 16.
    But people depend on you and you nurture. Yup-that’s exactly the same thing. I’m sure they’ll come up with a Hallmark card for that in -never.
    Spectator. That’s how you can blithely use the Hootch word and think that’s funny too.
    You forget these shows are much longer than what we see and what we see is athe discretion of the editor.
    But one thing I’ve always noticed about any reality show I’ve watched-
    Pride goeth before a fall.

34. 34
    Jimbob Jones
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 1:49 am

    Wow, KartofflMuter, sounds like your husband is kind of an asshole if you did all of the diapers and nights by yourself. No wonder you’re so bitter.

    Because I, as a MAN (and not a little boy with grown-man clothes) was up every bit as much as my wife, changing diapers, and feeding the baby while working a 60-hour week as a software engineer. Outside of the actual giving birth and breast feeding (though I bottle-fed the babies no problem), neither of which I could biologically do (yet you somehow seem to want to blame THAT on men, too), I’ve been just as much of a contributor as my wife has when it comes to caring for the kids (and she’s the first one to say that).

    And, guess what, I use “Hooch”, too — because Hooch is crazy.

35. 35
    sarcasatire
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 3:21 am

    WHAT’S IN THE COMMENT BOX?!???!!

36. 36
    RazzBeth
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 3:42 am

    Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop watching this. I’ll have to watch this episode just to see the douche get his smack down. And maybe start watching again since DareDevil has the possibility of actually sticking around for a little while. I figured she would be gone by now, but Yay! for me being wrong.

    Great recap as always, Dangerously.

    And can we all just agree to ignore Kart?

37. 37
    Mummy Butterfly
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 4:36 am

    @RazzBeth – I need to go back and read all my comments on other ‘Gasm posts. I swear I’ve read and engaged in a “discussion” with Kart before. Something about how “ALL men will leave you and fail you”. Come back and watch, though! DareDevil is rockin’ it!

    @Jimbob Jones – you sound like my Daddy and my Husband. That’s the kind of man I intend my son to be.

    @Michkabibbles – well said. Well said.

38. 38
    snowshoecat
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 6:38 am

    Lonnnnng slowwwwwww applause to JimB, Mummy, Razz and the others who realize that this is a snark site designed to amuse those of us who amuse ourselves (and others) by making fun of famewhores who choose television as the medium for getting the maximum attention. As opposed to those who get attention by being disagreeable andwho insult those of us who have just come here to have fun.

    Some call them trolls.

    Kartofel is actually German for POTATO, but can be used to indicate that the person you are calling ‘Kartofel’ is stupid or has no clue. Muter is a silencer. I made the mistake in the past to define Muter as German for mother. Oops.

    Mummy, I do believe that many of us have felt the wrath of Kartoff before on other sites. She is a sad, bitter woman who does not seem to have grown from hardship the way many of us have, and she seems to hate us because we are happy.

    “That which does not kill us makes us strong.” Kartoff seems to have died in the process of her suffering and it is sad.

    But not our problem. I love your responses!!!

39. 39
    germgurl
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 6:43 am

    WTH happend to this website?!?!

40. 40
    Mummy Butterfly
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 7:00 am

    @Snowshoecat – thank you. My issue with people like that is the assumption that anyone who goes through difficult times, or meets/is in a relationship with difficult people should think like them. I am intimately aware of what type of scum is in the world – and what it’s like to not know if your kids are going to eat that day. But I’m quite a happy person, who sees the wonderful, good people all around me – like the amazing man I’m now married too (who has taken my kids and loves them like they are his own, seriously, he drags himself out of bed to deal with a screaming 3 year old little girl’s nightmare, and snuggles and rocks her back to sleep – and she’s not biologically his…).

    I don’t dislike Monti as a person – or even as a chef, in fact – I AGREED I would have been offended by Nipplegate, I dislike the “storyline” (which is fed by producers/editors, but the words still have to come out of her mouth) that THIS is the only way to make a life for her son.

41. 41
    michkabibbles
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 7:04 am

    i love coming to this site. like many others, i discovered it via crabbymouth’s toddlers and tiaras recaps. i used to spend a lot of time on television without pity, which just isn’t the same since it was taken over by corporate overlords. i don’t post much while i’m here, and i have to say i’m a bit embarrassed that i let someone i don’t know get to me like kartoff did.
    jimbob-i’ve found amongst my with children friends that your experiences as a father are more the norm these days. i know plenty of guys who really do try to do an equal share.

    re: nipplegate (which is probably overplayed at this point), in my almost middle aged female opinion, i admit i did laugh when FE said what he did-more in an ‘i can’t believe he really said that’ kind of way. i found it more immature than filled with hate. if a guy friend of mine said that to me, i’d probably just threaten to kick him in the nuts, cause that’s how i roll personally (i’ve never actually kicked someone in the nuts), so i don’t really feel like i can complain about a basically innocuous nipple comment.

    thanks to jimbob and madame butterfly for the backup.

    and to dangerously-if he’s still even reading at this point-i really do enjoy the recaps, sorry we mucked up your comments!

42. 42
    Dangerously
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 7:14 am

    I think the takeaway from this little escapade is “don’t feed the troll…”

    I’m glad to see confirmation that most of my readers/commenters are sensible, decent people. I admittedly laughed out loud at the nip-flash suggestion…sure it was immature, but relatively innocuous. Had my girlfriend, (imaginary) daughter, or mom been in that bunch with him when he said it, I’d have /facepalmed pretty hard, and chuckled about what an idiot he was. Had he singled someone out and said “hey slutty mcslutterson, take your tits out!” this would be an entirely different story. I think we’re all on the same page here, though. He’s a douche.

    I wonder how many people would have been grossly appalled if Monti was instead a guy who was in the same situation, and screwed over by some crazy cheating bitch, and make a joke about mutilating his ex’s genitals. Somehow “joking” about violence towards a guy is funny (esp when it involves taking a knife to his special bits), but “hey flash a nip for bonus votes” is just unbelievably vulgar. That’s just my $.02, though.

    <3 you guys, as always…and you're always welcome to come muck up my comments to your little hearts' content.

43. 43
    classy drunk
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 7:51 am

    Oh nice…a comment war. That was a good read.

    KM I think if you were to let some of the anger go because other people are happy in their lives you wouldn’t feel the need to tell them how miserable your life is.

    But feel free to continue. I love when people bring up religion when it has nothing to do with the subject at hand.

44. 44
    snowshoecat
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 8:06 am

    Dangerously, I agree with your “don’t feed the troll…” comment, but I am a weak-willed kitty and just couldn’t help myself. Wanted the ones lashed upon to know what good Gasmii they are.

    This whole nip business astonishes me. Playboy and other girlie mags have been showing far more explicit bits of the female anatomy for almost half a century, and we still clutch our pearls at the thought of a female nipple? REALLY?

    The ever-tasteful Madonna flashed a saucy look along with her nipple not long ago and the incident caused barely a ripple. I wish we could cease to be so fixated on the female breast and move on, but it probably won’t happen in any of my nine lifetimes.

    I am still shocked, Dangerously, by the fact that people who can barely hold the proper end of a saucepan can call themselves chefs and get tv time. Keep entertaining us with your wit!

    Now I’ve forgotten who is whom!

45. 45
    Mummy Butterfly
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 8:14 am

    @Dangerously – you’re SO right about the “If Monti was a guy”. If a guy (ANY guy) had made comments on national tv about mutilating his ex-wife’s genitals – or even saying he was going to do something to her ovaries/uterus/breasts, the entire world would have come down on him! Monti got away with the comment because it was a) obviously not a “true threat”, more of a commentary on what she was doing to the bull testicles and b) she’s a woman.

    Violence against men is portrayed as “funny” and “justifiable”. (It’s not.)
    Violence against women is portrayed as “never justified” and “horrible”. (It is.)

    Conversely – if Nipplegate had been reversed, chances are pretty good that most (MOST) of the guys wouldn’t have been offended by a woman telling them to show their junk. They would have laughed and assumed she was someone who would be great to hang out with and get drunk with later…

46. 46
    Dangerously
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 8:27 am

    Our priorities are a bit weird in this country sometimes…people have no issues letting their 8 year olds play call of duty and watch all sorts of insanely violent movies, but these same people would clap their hands over their kids ears so fast it’d cause brain damage if they heard “flash a nip.”

    I can say I’d never have suggested “flashing a nip,” even in pure jest, around a group of women i didn’t know. But around a group of women I’d been around for a week or two (who knows how long these people had been together)…it’s entirely possible (esp in general sense like he did). And if we were friends? Hell, I might suggest she blow the whole corps for a few votes. It’s all joking…treating sex like it’s scary is a dangerous thing.

    And the girls I like being friends with are the ones who could make the comment themselves. Just because you’re comfortable with your body, and with the concept of sex, doesn’t make you a slut…

    And, to that point, if a girl (or guy) shouted something at me like “Hey [Dangerously], from what I hear even the people in the back row will be able to see…whip it out and get us some points!!!” I’d just reply with “lol, you’ve been grossly misinformed…I don’t feel like getting laughed at today ” And then would gladly continue hanging out with them.

47. 47
    michkabibbles
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 8:39 am

    i’m so glad the conversation has turned to genitalia, which is always a fun topic. although i admit to threatening boys with nut kicking, i never follow through, and i’d never consider joking about mutilation (or ‘bobbiting’), although i can honestly see how some women get to that point. i admit i love a good junk joke, so getting offended at a nipple or boob comment just makes me a hypocrite.

    and completley agree with dangerously and madame butterfly about ‘if monti were a guy’. it’s a complete double standard about what’s an acceptable ‘joke’. talking about stabbing someone in the vagina would not be laughed off.

    and i’m so bad about feeding the trolls! i can never just walk on by. my knickers are so easily twisted.

48. 48
    Dangerously
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 8:43 am

    So there’s something wrong with me laughing at “talking about stabbing someone in the vagina,” huh? Because for some reason, reading that made me chuckle.

49. 49
    LAC
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 8:45 am

    See what happens when the power of douche is doubled? Flavorfop and hat-ass on screen antics have consequences. And if I was Monti, I would have told Flavorfop that maybe he should drop trou and see if it engenders pity points from the troops. That would shut him down fast.

    Question: why is it that in every season so far, there is a man-child about?

50. 50
    snowshoecat
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 8:46 am

    Hey Danger! Loved your comment: “How does she go from getting mad about FE asking her to “flash a nip” to talking about cutting off her ex-husbands nuts?”

    Double standard much?

    And J’adore Daredevil, maybe in spite of the vision problem. I see her as a person who is a great ambassador for those who are blessed with guts (oops. No pun intended for this epi–sorta) and overcome obstacles. The handicapped ones on the show are the ones who cook brians instead of using them.

51. 51
    Mummy Butterfly
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 8:50 am

    @LAC – because our society has grown worse in raising “Man-Child” type people… And those who think they “deserve” everything. That part of America is finally getting old enough to make it on ALL the reality shows, not just the ones MTV does.

52. 52
    RazzBeth
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 8:51 am

    @Mummy – I don’t remember getting into a scuffle with Kart, but it’s possible I did and she just isn’t important enough to remember. I usually don’t feed the trolls, but sometimes I get bored and like to give them a few breadcrumbs.

    And I will be putting this back on my DVR. Except now that I will be watching again, it will be boring for the rest of the season because that is what always happens to me. So blame me when you fall asleep while this is on.

    I can’t directly comment on NippleGate because I didn’t see it, but I will say that there really is a double standard about what can be said to/about men versus women. Maybe it is because women have always been sexualized that the pendulum has swung so far in the other direction. But as the saying goes, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander and it has always bothered me that the same women that complain about being offended, offend men quite regularly.

    And one last comment to complete my dissertation on MasterChef: I agree with michkabibbles and the other posters about Monti claiming that coming on the show was the only way to provide for her son. What would she have done before the advent of reality tv? I can think of several ways to provide for him that don’t include fame whoring. Do contestants get a stipend while on the show? I know BB only gave the hamsters money if they made it past a certain week, but BB is live and not taped, so I’m not sure how that happens with shows like this.

53. 53
    RazzBeth
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 8:53 am

    And all bold is what happens when you forget to close your tags. I wasn’t yelling, I promise!!

54. 54
    germgurl
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 8:56 am

    The offensiveness of the dude’s comment comes from linking the use of of women’s sexuality to professional success/ winning/ getting ahead that unfortunately hits close to home of a women-specific reality, which can not be equated to flashing men’s genitalia. So no matter whether a woman or man (jokingly) suggests, condones or conducts such behavior among work colleagues, it always has a more problematic sexist connotation and context than joking among friends.

55. 55
    exhero
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 9:32 am

    Maybe I’m just a sad strange little girl but during this discussion of kicking someone in the junk being funny but it wouldn’t be funny the other way around and all I can think is: “I’m going to punch you in the ovaries. Straight shot right to the baby maker.”

    I like Monti but if I had to place money on which contestant I thought would lose their marbles at some point during the season it would be her.

56. 56
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 9:32 am

    ^ I also think part of why Monti was mad too is because they were serving U.S. military and the comment was kind of disrespectful in context of that. When he said it, she was like THESE ARE US TROOPS SHOW SOME RESPECT, and then when she was telling Bastage and Teddy about it, she said something similar.
    Maybe the troops mean alot to her…during the challenge, she was also one of the only people I noticed who would thank each troop for their service while giving them their RAWR pork.

    And is Monti really poor? Didn’t she say Joan Cusack named her son? I know Joan Cusack isn’t an A-List celebrity, but still…how are you soooo poor, but you’re friendly with Joan Cusack?

57. 57
    snowshoecat
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 9:41 am

    Sexual violence, even implied is simply wrong. Both cases under discussion were harrassment, although the knife incident was scarier, and I loved dangerously’s diffusion in the caption.

    And I agree with Mich, Razzy and the others in thinking that Monti was out of line trying to get sympathy because she is providing for her son. Don’t think daredevil is asking for any sympathy.

    Oooooooooooh hope she takes it on merit, ’cause right now she looks like she will.

58. 58
    Mummy Butterfly
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 9:45 am

    @chaosbutterfly – I believe Monti knew Joan Cusack through when she was a radio personality. I can’t prove it, but I SWEAR she was even living in Atlanta at the time (my current home). Beyond that, I know plenty of celebs that are straight-up poor. Poor choices lead to negative consequences. And you make a good point about her patriotism might have been a larger factor than even the Nipple part of Nipplegate.

    @germgurl – and by the same token, a man flashing his genitalia will always have a bigger creepy factor than a woman flashing her nipples. Society (as a whole) finds it easier to accept Janet Jackson or Madonna’s nipslip – than they EVER would as a whole if Justin Timberlake or Bieber showed off his package. Especially in a situation where children were present.

59. 59
    michkabibbles
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 10:18 am

    @dangerously, i think it’s a hilarious turn of phrase, when spoken between friends-that’s the key. for some reason my maturity level seems to only decrease as i get older, and my little group of friends have (perhaps unfortunately) latched on to stating that kicking or punching each other in the netherlands as our threat of choice. if i had a dime for every time i’ve told someone i’m going to punch them right in the junk, i’d be a rich woman.

60. 60
    KartofflMuter
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 11:41 am

    Billybob-Come sit on grandma’s lap and tell me all your problems. Try reading thoroughly Putze. Every other word just doesn’t cut it. 36? It’s easy to get a job. I worked full-time during college. Didn’t we all? You want applause for cooking? Ha! My son learned to just like my daughters learned to use a saw and re-finish furniture.I’m the one who wielded the hammer and saw and sander in this family. Software engineer-my husband couldn’t get a job as one so you’re lucky. And we live in the Silicon Valley. No one would hire him. Not sour grapes. Even our kids couldn”t understand how day couldn’t find a job. They called him a loser. 6 years ago his hair was black. Now,he’s almost completely grey. It’s hard to be old,over educated,broke,and unemployed,and alone. I identify with Monti. I find her a strong female. I am not sad. I start every day with a comedy. I am tired. My husband did finally find a job (thanks Krishna-ya done good!) although it takes him to Singapore and Salzburg and Chennai,and Valencia a lot. You really should read more carefully. Where did you get the idea I raised my children alone? He stayed up with me-hard not to when we had a family bed. and kids with great lungs. He did at least 1/2 the diapers. He rocked them to sleep,took our son to national TKD competitions because I couldn’t watch the fights once he was a 2nd degree black belt. Niether of us could encourage him in American sports because-we weren’t America. Couldn’t do the pre-school songs. Never fit in,and tended to alienate people because-as one women said,”if you don’t want to know-don’t ask Helga.” Me
    Oh and-by the way-KartofflMuter- I sign in all over the world,especially Austria,so as not to conflict with fellow citizens,I slightly misspelled my name. It should be spelled Kartoffel Mutter (Potato Mother )The kids love my dumplings Kartoffel Knoedel/ and Rakott Krumpli-layered potatoes/ and parsley potatoes/and potato curry-etc.
    See? I’m considered downright cheerful in Hungary-of course-they have a really high rate of suicide-we’re a very dark people,but we eat well. Troll? I guess I’m short enough. But,I’m gorgeous-that’s our wedding picture in the corner with my lovely husband of 40 years, and we just honeymooned- again-as we do every year on our anniversary. It was Yountville again. It’s close and has the highest number of Michelin Star restaurants in a 1 mile radius. Sort of let down this year-also it was 113 degrees and there was a pebble in my Duck confite at Bouchon. They didn’t have pork belly on the menu,the asparagus soup was bland and overpriced, there was a stain on my linen napkin, the portions are becoming small enough for my chihuahua to finish,the waiters never bothered to refill the wine glasses-simply not done in Europe-and tipping is Verboten there, but the waitress was an irrelevant chatterbox. The waiter on the previous day was perfect-but the quiche was hot and burnt. I am only criticizing things I have cooked myself. OR-in the words of my family-”not like mama’s”
    No of course I wouldn’t compete now. Now-I can only stand up for 4-5 minutes at a time. And how cheery would you be? 40 pills a day + a narcotic patch. I give me another 6 months. Troll? Gollum. Geoffrey on Craig Ferguson. I I’ve forgotten more than you know. Truly.
    Now-sit on grandma’s lap-read my little inconsequential notes over again,and tell me dear boy-just when and where did I say I did it alone? Fail.

61. 61
    KartofflMuter
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 11:57 am

    36-is very young-I’m confused-didn’t you start out saying you had no dependants? You had no wife or children?
    I really have to get to my E-bay sight and check on my sales. We weren’t able to help our daughter during grad school so now I’m gearing up ,even though I’m disabled,to sell items online in order to pay down her loans. For our son,we paid $20,000 a month in tuition. Now,you say-2 daughters-lv very much,etc. I don’t know what a troll is-not my country or my language after all. Jimbob.Johnboy-all the same to me. Marybeth,MaryEllen,,,Oy Vey. Have enough trouble rubbing Vicodin on my gums.

    Or are you a troll?

62. 62
    Jimbob Jones
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 12:13 pm

    Looking at the posts above mine, who said that the Hooch title only had to go to someone on the show?

    Seems like the ‘Gasm has it’s own Hooch.

    And boy is Hooch crazy.

    Where are my bouillon cubes?

63. 63
    crankyguy
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 12:17 pm

    What school charges $20,000 a month in tuition? I thought some schools in the United States were very expensive, but I don’t know of any that even charge $20k per quarter.

64. 64
    KartofflMuter
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 12:18 pm

    Here- is this what you want? Wow! That Ryan was HOT!! What are you bitches complaining about. Man-a nip slip is just that-no big. She’s got no RT to make a big deal a bout it. Whining,complaining on TV. No business trying to make her bones on TV with some sorry Famewhore crap. I can’t wait for the witch (with a B ) to go DOWN. Now let’s all get behind Tali-my man! and down with that LatiNONONO who can not cook and is a negative mood in the kitchen and get rid of the Asian witches 2 if U No what I mean.
    TALI MAN!
    WOOT WOOT WOOT.

65. 65
    Jimbob Jones
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 12:20 pm

    Also, whoda thunk that an off-the-cuff joke I made about Masterchef last year would get such mileage? This is one of my proudest moments.

    Just for the record, Karloff, my real name isn’t “Jimbob”, so calling me “Billybob” isn’t really the insult you intend it to be. Incidentally, Dangerously’s real name IS Dangerously — his parents thought it would toughen him up. So now he posts Masterchef recaps.

66. 66
    Jimbob Jones
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 12:23 pm

    What ARE the bitches complaining about? All you bitches — stop complaining!

67. 67
    classy drunk
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 12:23 pm

    @KartofflMuter, from all of your boasting it seems you and your family had a really good life and have now hit a rough patch. As most people do. So I don’t think that you can claim that others had it easy and now you don’t because it’s not going as swimmingly as in years past.

68. 68
    Jimbob Jones
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 12:26 pm

    @crankyguy — I’ve heard the tuition at “Hollywood Upstairs Medical School” is pretty steep.

69. 69
    Chris Velazquez
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 12:29 pm

    Am I the only one who doesn’t see much wrong with Monti’s comment about her ex while deaing with the testicle cutting? Again, FE’s comment was rude as hell because it was a “get ahead by using sexuality” joke in bad taste, done to people he just barely met and doesn’t even know. As I said, there are jokes that are simply in bad taste depending on the situation, and this one was one of them. Pretty much all my woman friends thought the “joke” was in bad taste.

    The reason I don’t think Monti’s comment wass as offensive is due to the fact that it was directed to her ex-husband, a man she knows and was married to. He probably did something fucked up enough to her to warrant the fact that they’re recently divorced. No wonder she got offended far easier by FE’s comment, too.

    Not to mention, FE and Monti seem to have disliked each other from the get-go (shades of Jennifer and Christian or Suzy and Max?), I wouldn’t be surprised if he directed that comment at her instead of at all the women of his team, but that’s just speculation. Still, the fact that almost every contestant left hates this kid’s guts is kinda telling.

70. 70
    Dangerously
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 12:30 pm

    Yep, and as I stated before, having a name like Dangerously was wonderful in college. But it was really annoying in grammar school when we were learning about adverbs…

71. 71
    crankyguy
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 12:34 pm

    Most of us probably don’t see anything wrong with either comment in isolation. It was just the contrast of Monti being so indignant about the nipple comment while having no problem telling the judges about her fantasy of performing a human de-balling.

72. 72
    Dangerously
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 12:35 pm

    No one here said anything about FE’s comment not being in poor taste. It was in poor taste. The guy is a doucherocket. And I couldn’t really care much less about Monti’s nut-chopping comment, either, if it weren’t for her getting so offended by the nip-flashing suggestion.

    We have literally NO idea why she’s divorced. All we see is her side. Is it likely that, based on the fact that she (at least presumably, according to the show) has full custody of her son, that her ex-husband probably screwed up? Yeah, likely, but we don’t know. She could be insane (she’s shown the colors). Maybe he couldn’t take it anymore and decided to get some on the side. Is that ok? Nope. But I’ve had girls cheat on me…and if I was cooking with clams and took a mallet to one while saying “is it bad that I’m thinking about my ex right now?” I’m pretty sure that would be considered fucking uncool.

73. 73
    Jimbob Jones
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 12:38 pm

    @Chris — I think for me (and, from what I can tell, most of us here, not that I want to talk for anyone) — the issue wasn’t so much that FE’s joke wasn’t in bad taste. We all know he’s a douche — no surprise there.

    I think the issue was more that WannaHooch was SOOOO offended by it, and then went and made ball-cutting jokes in the next episode. Hers were just as bad taste (and more than a little bit scary, no matter who she’s talking about. Did you see how uncomfortable the judges looked?)

    To me, it stinks of hypocrisy.

74. 74
    sheesh
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 12:39 pm

    Just so I know. What will be the shoutout when this war gets to 100 comments.
    Nipslip?
    Ballmutilation?
    Troll?

    I am giddy with anticipation!

75. 75
    Jimbob Jones
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 12:47 pm

    @sheesh – That… MUST… happen…

    Ballniputilation?
    Or just “Stupid s*** my chef’s say?”

76. 76
    crankyguy
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 12:48 pm

    @Jimbob, I got this from a wee bit of Googling: “Here’s an amazing fact: In 2007, there was only one college that had a total cost of over $50,000. Now, there are 20 that cost over $55,000.”

    I did not investigate further to see if the Hollywood Upstairs Medical School or the YMCA Night School of Law were on the list.

77. 77
    Jimbob Jones
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 12:53 pm

    Well, they don’t put HUMS in that list, because if we’re checking the cost, we can’t afford to go there.

78. 78
    michkabibbles
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 12:54 pm

    i had no idea dangerously’s name was actually dangerously. isn’t that what monti said she named her son?

    i haven’t been here too long, the only other comment thread i’ve seen get to 100 was a toddlers and tiaras thread.

79. 79
    Mummy Butterfly
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 12:55 pm

    Oh my gosh, is there someone on here who actually LIKES Tali? Because if there is one thing I thought everyone on this board agreed on, it was Tali (aka: AAliens) had a stupid hat and needs to go home.

    And most of us love Daredevil, and I can’t recall a comment truly dissing D from Chicago.

    So the problem is we (and i use that word loosely), don’t like the way one of your top favorites is being portrayed. What gets me is that MOST of the comments aren’t even about her cooking ability, they are about her “storyline”. And a few people dislike her, but most of us just want her to be more consistent in what she says and how she acts.

    Your inability to allow anyone to disagree with you is stunning. Simply stunning. And that is as much of a personal comment as I choose to make on what little I can see of your personality.

80. 80
    Jimbob Jones
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 1:09 pm

    @Mummy — I think that was GasmHooch just trying to be clever. I can’t think of anyone that actually likes Tali, probably the most deluded chef cook dish-washer to ever make it to the Masterchef Kitchen.

    Yeah, I love Daredevil… But does anyone else sometimes see her looking at the judges or at her food, and think “Is she just BS’ing about being blind?” I know she isn’t, but damn if it doesn’t look like it sometimes.

    And boy, if she was, would THAT make her a villain. I kind of want it to be so, just for the entertainment value.

    My ponies are probably Daredevil and Rhino, and, just for “dark horse” hilarity, Cowboy Hat.

81. 81
    exhero
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 1:12 pm

    @Mummy – I don’t think they actually like Tali. I think it’s a passive agressive approach screaming what they think we all want to hear.

    Mostly it just sounds like a screaming bag of crazy though.

82. 82
    snowshoecat
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 1:17 pm

    Oh Sheessh, could it be that we will reach 100? That is a pretty rarified achievement.

    Ballniputilation works for me, JB!

    And Mummy (@ 79) WORD!

83. 83
    michkabibbles
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 1:24 pm

    i pretty much like everyone on the show except flava elevata and tali. monti annoys me less then she did at the beginning, mostly because she’s gotten away from her storyline a bit and just cooks. i love christina and felix and david (is he beautiful rhino? i’ve gotten to the point where i can only identify contestants by their recap names. until last night i had no idea who ryan was).

    and this: But does anyone else sometimes see her looking at the judges or at her food, and think “Is she just BS’ing about being blind?” would kind of be awesome.

84. 84
    sheesh
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 1:30 pm

    I don’t watch the show.
    Have not read any of the recaps before.
    I just read the recap.
    Must go back to read all previous recaps.
    Must now watch show.
    Damn you “Gasm…

85. 85
    Dangerously
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 1:43 pm

    Oh, I wish my name was really Dangerously Man, that’d be awesome.

    WannaHooch’s son is named Danger, which is close enough.

    And man, I’ve been thinking the same thing about DareDevil. Just like her namesake, she must have some kind of sonar for her 5th sense…Trying to find an appropriate youtube clip. Do not beat me to this…I will succeed. In the next ‘cap…

86. 86
    Jimbob Jones
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 2:01 pm

    Actually, come to think of it, didn’t WannaHooch say something along the lines of “He’ll thank me when he gets to college” early on regarding her son’s name?

    Now, for someone who is so interested in getting their son laid during the college years (because, let’s face it — what else could she have meant by that comment?), it sure is odd that she’s suddenly so “prudish” about a “nipple” comment.

87. 87
    michkabibbles
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 2:08 pm

    ahh! i’ve been punked! i totally believed jimbob when he said that! and it was dangerously’s adverb/ grammar school anecdote that lent it the air of believability. also, evidently, i am a gullible mcgulliberson.

    and yep: “He’ll thank me when he gets to college” that’s exactly what she said.

88. 88
    Dangerously
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 2:10 pm

    Yeah, I sadly didn’t really connect the dots when she flipped about nipplegate…pretty much it clicked while I was typing that…

    If anyone comes up with a logical alternative to “my son is gonna get laid out his ears in college” that she meant by that comment….well, challenge posed. Go nuts…

89. 89
    Jimbob Jones
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 2:11 pm

    Ugh… I’ve been trying to post a link to an interview.

    Basically, in it, Hooch mentions that FE made the comment “repeatedly”. If that’s the case, then I totally understand her anger. She even goes on to defend him.

    Or, it could have just been the voices in her head. I guess until there’s some sort of backup from the other team members, we’ll never know.

90. 90
    Classy Drunk
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 2:12 pm

    Me too Sheesh. I just added it to my Dvr.

91. 91
    exhero
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 2:15 pm

    I figure if it was repeatedly it was because FE thought what he said was hilarious and no one laughed. And the only logical explanation in the douche caverns of his mind is that they didn’t laugh because they didn’t hear him.

92. 92
    sarcasatire
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 2:19 pm

    If we get to 100, I wanna yell “AAliens!”

    Because, “why not aliens?” cracks me up every time Dangerously writes it. But not as much as “What’s in the box?!!!?!” screencaps.

    @sheesh and everyone else..welcome to the party! We don’t usually get a lot of comments over here, so perhaps feeding the trolls serve some good purpose (besides the entertainment value, of course). Dangerously is hilarious and makes watching the show even more enjoyable.

    @mickabubbles: It def looks like Daredevil is focusing on things sometimes. Maybe she is only legally blind? (or is it clinically blind?) There’s a guy in my neighborhood who has a degenerative eye disease and he had a seeing eye dog. One day, in the bodega with his friends, I came in and asked for something. Hearing my (feminine) voice, he swung around and gave me a very convincing once-over while flirtaciously asking “Hmmm…and how are YOU doing today?” LOL! When he finished his purchase and left, I was like, “I thought he was blind?” His friend said, “He is, mostly. But he can still see shapes.” o.O

93. 93
    Jimbob Jones
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 2:27 pm

    One other thing I need to commend WannaHooch on — with a name like “Monti Carlo”, how in the great googa-mooga did she not end up being a stripper? Her parents must have been the hippiest hippies who ever hippied to do that to her (assuming it’s her real name).

94. 94
    exhero
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 2:31 pm

    @Jimbob – If we are to believe that it was the actual WannaHooch that commented on the first post than no it’s not her real name.

95. 95
    sarcasatire
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 2:32 pm

    Hey guys…Monti reads these recaps! I just remembered she commented a while back. Hope we haven’t scared her off.

96. 96
    Dangerously
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 2:34 pm

    Some things are just too easy

    http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQocKbymmPXcIbovZ2Y46-hMlSNiqmFENc4vAeFSpGI_z31YoVRJRnJYcoB

    Also, if Monti DOES read these recaps, I’m glad this show isn’t filmed live.

97. 97
    sheesh
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 2:34 pm

    A serial ballmutilator stripper.

98. 98
    michkabibbles
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 2:38 pm

    @sarcasatire-that’s a great story. there’s something about the line ‘he can still see shapes’ that’s kind of lovely.

    i don’t remember what daredevil said about losing her eyesight, except, she wasn’t born blind? and it happened when she was an adult? i don’t know, that’s probably all wrong. to be honest, i don’t know any blind people in real life, so the only experience i have is actors portraying blind people on tv. which i’m sure is all kinds of wrong. it does seem like she focuses more than she should? but i really don’t know if that’s normal or not. and it’s probably all distorted by the television anyway.

    and if f.e. had been saying the nipple comment over and over again, then yeah, i can see how that would be really offensive, much more than just a one time offhand comment. and i also read that monti felt bad about the pancake thing with josh last night, which wasn’t even that bad given how stressed they all were.

99. 99
    Jimbob Jones
    Posted June 26, 2012 at 2:38 pm

    @sheesh – LOL! Dammit, made me laugh like a moron!

100. 100
     sheesh
     Posted June 26, 2012 at 2:39 pm

     BALLMUTILATOR!!!!
     I am king of da world!

101. 101
     Dangerously
     Posted June 26, 2012 at 2:44 pm

     DareDevil wasn’t born blind. She had an eye disease, and had been blind for like 10 years or so. That’s how she knew what stuff was supposed to look like, or something.

     Also, wow….wow wow wow…wowowowow. 100 comments? On one of MY recaps?!?!? I’m pretty sure I’ve never had more than 10.

102. 102
     Jimbob Jones
     Posted June 26, 2012 at 2:50 pm

     100 Comments! Ballniputilator for all!

     You should have hired GasmHooch sooner.

103. 103
     snowshoecat
     Posted June 26, 2012 at 3:25 pm

     Oh congratulations Sheeshy!!!!!!!! You’re new and ya did the century!!!

     And Congratulations to you too Mr Not-Really-an-Adverb!!! Not many ‘cappers can pull it off, but it takes a ‘capper with at least one bat-shit crazy reader to do it.

     Feed the Troll!!!!!!!!!!!!

104. 104
     Classy Drunk
     Posted June 26, 2012 at 3:44 pm

     Nice Sheesh!!!

105. 105
     Jimbob Jones
     Posted June 26, 2012 at 3:53 pm

     I’ve seriously considered mapping out all of the conflicting statements that GasmHooch (HoochGasm? Seems to flow better) made in her posts, but then realized that would probably push me over the edge.

     And, since I’m generally pretty close to that anyway, probably isn’t a good idea.

     (Too bad you live in Chicago, Dangerously. I’ll actually be hanging with some friends near ATL in early September, and, based on many of the references you make, you seem just dorky-cool enough — and I mean that in the best possible way — to fit in with us)

106. 106
     RazzBeth
     Posted June 26, 2012 at 4:06 pm

     Okay, I just watched this episode and MasterChef is back on my DVR, because this episode? Was FABULOUS! Ryan has already earned the title of MasterDouche so I don’t know why he needs the MasterChef trophy for his non-existent mantle. And Tali needs to stop licking toads.

     While I was watching, I keep waiting for nipplegate until I realized it was on the previous episode. I watched that one, but do not remember it happening. I guess I really was bored. But I am back in the saddle and ready to enjoy Ryan crashing and burning.

     Congrats on 100+, D!

107. 107
     Dangerously
     Posted June 26, 2012 at 4:07 pm

     Well I lived in Atl most of my life…and incidentally will be in Atlanta over labor day weekend…and assuming I don’t cheese out this year (like I did last year) I’ll be “recapping” the Nerdgasm…if I’m not too busy trying to hook up with Felixia Day….

     My fav weekend of the year

108. 108
     Classy Drunk
     Posted June 26, 2012 at 4:11 pm

     Yessssss! Sounds like a gasmii party in Atl! I’m here too!

109. 109
     Jimbob Jones
     Posted June 26, 2012 at 4:20 pm

     Interesting… I’ll actually be there from Sept 5th through the 9th. Basically, me and some friends get together once a year, see how badly we can abuse our livers and still play games (video and nerdly board games — we’re dorks, but we’re more “beer and pretzel” dorks) and watch movies (and do whatever else — we never really go in with a plan, other than “be dumbasses, but don’t be assholes”)

     Up until this year, we’ve done it in Denver. This time, we’re renting a lake house out at Lake Lanier (a friend of mine got a job at Turner, so he’s down there now).

110. 110
     Jimbob Jones
     Posted June 26, 2012 at 4:24 pm

     @Classy — I don’t know, you might be too classy

111. 111
     Dangerously
     Posted June 26, 2012 at 4:29 pm

     I’ll just leave this here…

     http://dragoncon.org/

     Fits in with liver abuse and nerd-stuffs well…

112. 112
     Mummy Butterfly
     Posted June 26, 2012 at 4:55 pm

     DUDES – I LIVE IN ATLANTA! Come hang with me! (Okay, I’m not near as cool as ya’ll in real life, just so we’re clear – I’m pretty sure that I take the dork prize. Not top 10, not top 5 – oh, no – I built a mantle for my prize!)

     As far as being blind later in life, her eyes would naturally focus on where she hears the voices from, it’s a learned behavior that she would have picked up in the first 20 or so years of her life (I’m totally guessing on her age, but imagine she’s in her 30′s).

     “Danger” – I didn’t think about him getting laid at all. More that the Frats would be FIGHTING over such a prize. Which would lead to sex. And free beer. Seriously, you ever going to make “Danger” pick up the tab?

     @Classydrunk – where you be in the big ATL? I’m out in the burbs, right past the giant interstate circle of death, near the huge carved rock.

     @Dangerously – YAY for you! Congrats on reaching such a high number, and I hope lots of peeps stick around to read your hilarious recaps!

113. 113
     Moli
     Posted June 26, 2012 at 5:02 pm

     Congrats on making it to 100 ! It would be a great twist if DareDevil wasn’t blind. Maybe I’m just use to crude jokes but…both made me chuckle while watching the show. I have threatened to ‘snatch your balls until they pop’ and have had ‘I’m going to punch you in your ovaries’ said to me. I have always had plenty of male friends all my life(psst, you’re more fun). I like Beautiful Rhino, Felix, and Black guy who’s name I don’t know. Did anyone notice a difference in tone and speech for comment #60 and #64?

114. 114
     Moli
     Posted June 26, 2012 at 5:04 pm

     Ancient Aliens is in my DVR, I <3 crazy haired guy

115. 115
     Classy Drunk
     Posted June 26, 2012 at 5:05 pm

     @Mummy….I live near Lenox Mall. It’s not as fancy as it seems. Just convenient.

     @ Jimbob, if there’s enough beer I’ll will make any party classy.

116. 116
     snowshoecat
     Posted June 26, 2012 at 5:19 pm

     Moli (@113) You mean the complete 180 in tone and content? Maybe she took her meds.

     In @64 she did not sound at all like she has in either this post or in other posts when she ripped commenters to shreds for being ourselves.

     Either that or she is giving us a taste of what we sound like to her: “Here- is this what you want? Wow! ” Going on to sound like a vapid 16 year old describing the people on a reality show.

     Whatever, it was pretty wierd. Thanks for pointing that out. It jarred me too, but then I let it go.

117. 117
     michkabibbles
     Posted June 26, 2012 at 5:25 pm

     @mummy butterfly (i think i’ve been calling you madame buttefly all day! apologies )–i didn’t really get a sexual thing either when monti said that, for me it felt like a minute of self awareness where she envisions her son not being too pleased with her. although i’d think that time would be younger. seems like the boys have a different perspective.

     @moli-i don’t know about a difference in tone between comments, more like she just went completely off the deep end at last.

     i’m so glad i stuck around for the comments today. i was actually pretty mad this morning (embarrassing but true) at some of the stuff she said (i don’t like personal attacks, esp from someone who’s never, you know, met me), but it all quickly turned to giggles.

118. 118
     sarcasatire
     Posted June 26, 2012 at 5:31 pm

     To all the Newbies, don’t watch tonight’s episode without watching last night’s first. Major spoiler alert if you did. And a pretty epic episode, too.

119. 119
     KartofflMuter
     Posted June 26, 2012 at 5:57 pm

     Crucifixion of a jew without a trial-again
     Post script:
     I post all over the world-so as not to be confused with friends at humed -I misspelled my name purposely.
     Kartoffel- Potato/ Mutter-Mother-Because my children love my
     Kartoffel Knoedel
     Alu Dum
     Vichysoisse
     Ma’s “it will take time” alu kari
     Rakott Krumpli
     Etc.
     Got it?
     Doubt it.

120. 120
     Mummy Butterfly
     Posted June 26, 2012 at 6:00 pm

     @michkabibbles – ah, I have far to many children to be “Madame” anything, just a Mum. A nerdy Mum! I know what it’s like to be personally attacked online, and while I’m not usually one to get in the middle of something, I also have an issue with someone who feels the need to belittle those who don’t agree with them. TVgasm is for sarcasm towards those who choose to parade their lives on reality tv, not towards those who read for fun, pleasure and as an escape from the “real world”.

     This isn’t the first time I’ve read posts from her before, and they all are the same: she uses Ad Hominem arguments to make her point. (http://www.nizkor.org/features/fallacies/ad-hominem.html – for those of you who did not have someone like my Mum in your life to force-feed these type of education to you.) It’s very frustrating, because unlike a typical “troll” Ad Hominem arguments make even rational people WANT to respond. Her entire argument is that everyone else is to stupid to understand her point of view and how smart she is.

     OH MY GOSH! It IS like “Tali and his Super Food that the Judges Don’t Understand!” SHE IS TALI!

     Of course, that is how our wonderful recapper, Dangerously, makes it over 100 comments!

     On another note – I am actually concerned by the comment she made: “And how cheery would you be? 40 pills a day + a narcotic patch. I give me another 6 months. Troll? Gollum. Geoffrey on Craig Ferguson. I I’ve forgotten more than you know. Truly.”

     I know she said that English wasn’t her first language, but if read by those who read English as a first language, it SOUNDS like she is saying she has 6 months to live. If so, then I am even more saddened by the situation…

121. 121
     sheesh
     Posted June 26, 2012 at 6:16 pm

     @Kartofflmuter
     Chill baby baby chill

122. 122
     exhero
     Posted June 26, 2012 at 6:43 pm

     So I’m confused because I can’t make out Kart’s writing. Is she like Batman for famewhores? Flying all over the Internet to defend their honor?

123. 123
     snowshoecat
     Posted June 26, 2012 at 6:50 pm

     Oh MummyB, I confess to referring to you as Mme Butterfly too.

     But oh thanks a lot for reminding me of the nightmare that was my undergraduate logic course. It started off as fun, but oh my… Didn’t take me long to get tangled up in my Ps and Qs.

     And yes, I too am ashamed to gave been sucked in.

124. 124
     maryedith
     Posted June 26, 2012 at 6:52 pm

     I think she’s just lonely. Her comments tend to start by attacking someone, which gets everyone reading, and then go into rambling monologues about her life. They are only very tenuously related to whatever comment thread she’s on.

125. 125
     michkabibbles
     Posted June 26, 2012 at 7:00 pm

     @mummy butterfly-ad hominem! that’s what my dinky little brain was trying to recall! thanks to you and your education enforcing mom! i hate ad hominem arguements because i always get sucked into them. i always feel if i’m a bit rational and can defend myself well, i can have a meaningful discourse with someone, which of course never works.

     @maryedith-if she is, in fact, lonely, then that makes everything even sadder. because i know from experience that online communities can be a wonderful source of support and very real friendship.

     @km-you were judged on your own words, which i think is fair.

126. 126
     maryedith
     Posted June 26, 2012 at 7:04 pm

     @michka — I agree.

127. 127
     sarcasatire
     Posted June 26, 2012 at 7:38 pm

     @maryedith and others: Yea, I got a lonely, sad vibe, too. That’s why I didn’t really want to engage, even though I can see why others where sucked in, especially as she critiqued their comments and opinions. But knowing you have only six months to live? Scary. I guess people react in different ways. KM seems to be reflecting on her life and decisions and maybe sorting things out. Maybe she sees criticisms of Monti as a criticisms against her (based on her own past actions) and she is on the defensive? I dunno.. like @michka said, @KM is being judged based on the confrontational nature of her posts, which is a shame to make such an impression at the Gasm. There’s really a fun community here, no need to go on the attack to get noticed. Unless you’re attacking reality TV stars, that is.

128. 128
     maryedith
     Posted June 26, 2012 at 8:38 pm

     It’s not like I’m Miss Social Butterfly myself, sitting here commenting at 11:30. Everyone’s a little lonely at night, KM — come back and talk!

129. 129
     Jimbob Jones
     Posted June 26, 2012 at 10:27 pm

     Dang, I wish I knew Dragoncon was coming — I could have scheduled my trip a few days earlier (I’m on the other coast, so I’m trying to work my way up to Seattle for PAX one of these years). Either way, if you’re still in the area from the 5th through the 9th, the offer is open to hang out. Before that time, I’ll get you my email addy.

     Beer, classy? That’s just the tip of the ice berg. My alcohol bill for these trips is normally in the $300 to $400 range (sick, I know)… granted, we don’t drink ALL of it, but enough to make my liver scream (I make one mean mojito, and cook jerk chicken — the ultimate drinking food — every trip).

130. 130
     KartofflMuter
     Posted June 26, 2012 at 11:44 pm

     Boasting? Seriously? I lived next to a woman for 3 years who was strapped for cash )and every time I got pregnant my husband lost his job,but when we bought a newer car,we called it the “blue car.” Our cars are 10 an 12 years old. I had 2 haircuts last year.I left the house 13 times. I can’t afford the 40 pills a day I need so I just lie stil. What pray tell,is a rough patch to you? My intro to you lovely country,was the minister’s son hitting me in the face with a baseball bat while screaming “dirty German.” Then his brothers boke my brother’s arm and threw him down the outhouse. They set traps on our lot for the stray cats we took in to cut their paws off and poured urine an our kiddy pool after they sawed through the chains in my swing set. Rough patch. Welcome to the U.S. It’s like you never left Nazi Germany-right? And you’ve given me such a warm welcome-I must thank you. Auf Nie wiedersehen. Verdammt.
     Just feel free to mock Monti and by extension,me all you want. I have seen it all before. If I’d known you were coming I’d have bake a kike? I will take a deep breath,have a glass of wine,and watch my favorite Indian soap with my husband and pet my cat and kiss my dog,knowing I am open to every race,religion and creed-ok-Cristian-a wee bit smley for me. Muslims and Hindus and Mormons and Jains and Sikhs,Catholics, no trouble.
     Candomble,wicca,interesting.Naked Fakirs sitting by the Ganges,we get along.I’ve lived in places that would scare the hell out of you,with lizards on the wall and dacoits on the road and men with machine guns ont the buses. Rough patch? Ever lived in a barracks with 50 families and 1 toilet? Ever nailed up blankets over the windows to keep out the cold?Lost your father at 16 ? gone out the next day and gotten 2 more jobs. No fancy jobs -$2 hour. Watched your mother go out every day and night on the bus in 20 below zero working till midnight because there was no insurance or car- and always remembering she’ d already suffered through 2 world wars as a Jew in Germany. So I did stand-up comedy-my Jewish mother,my Catholic father-she was running-he was chasing. Oy vey. My poor old mama making strudel and paprikas and calling me Putze and cooking milch reis and gurken salat and lecso and playing chinese checkers and sewing till she was half blind.-because she was 43 when I was born,so when she had to go back to work she was almost 60. Ja. A rough patch. Indeed. And now I must return to counting my gold coins , rearranging my Louboutins so I can jet off to NY and watch the latest Broadway hit. Or-I could open my bills, check the new
     grocery prices ,enjoy the birds and cows in the back yard, fight off the latest invasion of killer ants with Simple Green, and watch the flavor decimator walk out the door after not beating Monti.My condolences to all of you who feel superior to me. Any idea what perfect little children turn into when they outgrow their pinafores and cowboy hats and want the car keys and the condoms? ha ha. I do. You ARE my kids. Feel free to be snarky. My 28 year old bought me an Umi and a flat screen TV before she moved just to keep in touch.

131. 131
     MummyButterfly
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 6:21 am

     Um, Dangerously – While I’m sure you’re proud of hitting over 130 comments (as well you should be, you awesome recapper, you)! Might I ask you to PLEASE give us a new recap with a new comment thread? I think the time has come, yes?

132. 132
     chaosbutterfly
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 8:09 am

     KM, what do you want from us?

133. 133
     RazzBeth
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 8:16 am

     Attention and validation.

134. 134
     MummyButterfly
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 8:20 am

     @chaosbutterfly – what she wants is for us to respond by telling OUR life stories, simply so she can continue to explain why hers is worse and she is more “intelligent, worldly, knowledgeable, etc” than us. The only way to stop it is to truly ignore her. Seriously.

     Personally, if I WANTED to share those types of details about my life – I WOULD go on a reality tv show. At least there is a chance of winning a prize, then!

135. 135
     crankyguy
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 8:21 am

     “Just feel free to mock Monti and by extension,me . . .”

     I think this is the crux of your problem with the other people on this board. You come to a site that exists pretty much for people to mock reality show famewhores, see them doing it to somebody that you only know from watching TV and that you happen to like, and then get madder than hell because you somehow take it personally. Not everybody is gonna like who you like and conversely.

136. 136
     maryedith
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 8:24 am

     KM, what interest can reality tv competition shows hold for you, with the Dickensian/Herzogian life you lead? Have pity on our small, American minds and leave us to discuss our petty issues in peace.

137. 137
     KartofflMuter
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 8:24 am

     DID YOU ALL RIDE THE SHORT BUS? I asked, “here-Is this what you want?” And you think I’m on meds-i.e.-finally conforming to your syle-the great unwashed. Have a hotdog. I only eat Berner Wuerstel.
     None of you could pass Critical Thinking 101. I take 40 meds a day and can still think circles around you -they’re for pain- not brain impairment. You so take me back to 4th grade,when I was taken out of class and put into a class for the academically talented. Big whoop. One more bulls eye on the back. Sort of like the Glee kids except the cool kids couldn’t afford slushies. You were the ones with the buck teeth and the crossed eyes and the hair sticking up in the back that you cut off with your sister’s manicure scissors because it wouldn’t lie down. Yeah-I know you. Your pastor told you to pray for me in church,right? Instead,you sent me that note,after I missed 3 months of school saying,”you can get better-but don’t come back.” “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger?” Well this is my version of stronger. I’m the kindest,gentlest person on earth. I also believe in, “never again”.I ran out of cheeks. Arbeit macht nicht frei. O Re Piya.
     Bye bye loser Gary. Congratulations Monti.I did not know you were Puerto Rican . New information. PR makes Scotch eggs. Adorable. Sorry to have lost Scott. Nice man. Felix,however ,would have been a bigger loss. Joss was trash talking about Monti-that’s 1 strike against him. She did not reciprocate. Full of Effluvium, talked trash about everyone. This is called delusional.
     So good catch noticing the difference in style between #60 and #64.
     Fail when it comes to why–you always need to read the assigned material if you’re planning to comment or criticize-most of all,statements that begin with

     ” here-is this what you want?”

138. 138
     classy drunk
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 8:28 am

     “For our son,we paid $20,000 a month in tuition.”

     You had to be living good at some point. Many people live for a year off of one month of your son’s tuition.

139. 139
     crankyguy
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 8:30 am

     I’m no genius and I didn’t pay any attention in the one psychology class that I ever took which was back in high school, but is there any such thing as a persecution complex?

140. 140
     crankyguy
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 8:39 am

     I still want to know where it is that charges $20k per month in tuition. Some prep school for the rich and famous? I don’t know of any college or university in the United States that charges that much.

141. 141
     featherhead
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 8:41 am

     @Crankyguy – Sorry I wasn’t paying attention – I was too busy rubbing vicodin on my gums….

142. 142
     maryedith
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 8:47 am

     @cranky — there’s something called persecution mania. And there’s a martyr complex.

     @KM, I’ll bite. Please list these 40 different pills that you take exclusively for pain.

143. 143
     crankyguy
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 9:02 am

     “ You were the ones with the buck teeth and the crossed eyes and the hair sticking up in the back that you cut off with your sister’s manicure scissors because it wouldn’t lie down. Yeah-I know you. Your pastor told you to pray for me in church,right?

     So, if I took “Critical Thinking 101″ I would learn how (assuming I am smart enough) to make some sense out of this?

144. 144
     snowshoecat
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 9:18 am

     Think we can make 200?

145. 145
     crankyguy
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 9:34 am

     @snowshoecat — maybe if the new ‘cap is not up for another day or two. I’m doing my part — I’m just a stoopid American, but I’m no slacker.

146. 146
     michkabibbles
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 9:44 am

     i wasn’t going to post to this thread anymore because it’d devolved into kind of a sad spector, but the thought of helping to get to 200 brought me back.

     also-@KM, I’ll bite. Please list these 40 different pills that you take exclusively for pain.

     she can’t, because according to post 130 “I can’t afford the 40 pills a day I need”

     i hate this cycle of my hardships are worse than your hardships, my grief is greater than your grief, hence i’m a better person for enduring it, and you’re all a bunch of turds for reminding me of people who abused me when i was younger. her posts have turned vile and hateful, and taken so much fun out of commenting here. i’d rather hear jimbobs jerk chicken recipe!

147. 147
     Dangerously
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 9:56 am

     Om nom nom…hungry troll is hungry.

     @KM: Kindest?!?!? I do not think it means what you think it means… you are sad, confused, and mean-spirited. Self-righteous, too, it would seem. But kind? Certainly not.

     You’ve belittled us for being Christians – many here may not be, but I am. And as a Christian, I will never belittle someone for their different beliefs

     You’ve belittled us for being American (something that we were born into and have no control over, I might add) – as an American, I will never belittle someone for being born elsewhere.

     You’ve belittled our intelligence repeatedly, despite repeatedly generating some of the most inane and incoherent walls of text I’ve ever seen.

     If your choice is to live out your days wallowing in misery, that’s fine, but it’s a choice I don’t understand.

     Personally, I find that doing things like making people laugh is far more rewarding, and creates a lovely little upward spiral, in start contrast to the downward spiral created by bitterness and hate that you seem to be stuck in.

     I know it’s not much, but it’s the reason I find time to write these silly little recaps, regardless of my beyond full-time job and the hours a day I spend sitting in traffic so that I can live close to the people I like to be around.

     And, since it’s the internet, let me tell you something about ME…I have 5 PhDs in varying fields of physics. I speak 12 languages fluently. I play 4 different musical instruments. I do all this while providing for my siblings, parents, and children.

     Or, maybe none of that is true…maybe I’m just a pretty normal 30 year old with a desk job who likes to write recaps in the hopes that someone laughs at them…as I said…it’s the internet.

148. 148
     maryedith
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 9:56 am

     Whether or not she can afford them, there are apparently 40 different medications for pain that KM should be taking. I believe that as much as I believe her neighbors cut the paws off the stray cats she took in as a child. I had a neighbor who was like this. There was a nugget of truth inside all her stories but she had this compulsion to exaggerate everything to a ridiculous degree. She was from Portugal. I also knew a Russian woman with the same characteristic. I can’t quite work out where KM is from — Germany? Hungary?

149. 149
     exhero
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 10:08 am

     @Dangerously – Wow. I think I may love you now. Or maybe I just love your comment. Like you said it is the internet.

     @maryedith – I can’t quite work out where KM is from — Germany? Hungary?

     Space?

150. 150
     featherhead
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 10:09 am

     @Maryedith – My guess would be she is from Pluto or maybe Mars…. I wouldn’t take much time to try to figure her out.

151. 151
     classy drunk
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 10:10 am

     @MaryE, I am going with Germany….

     “My intro to you lovely country,was the minister’s son hitting me in the face with a baseball bat while screaming “dirty German.” “

152. 152
     maryedith
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 10:14 am

     @Classy — but she has such a low opinion of these people I was assuming the minister’s son had probably got it wrong, you know? Like, what a stupid idiot for calling her German when she was really Austrian or something like that.

     Do you ever take your classy drinking to Athens? If so, give me a holla.

153. 153
     Jimbob Jones
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 10:15 am

     My favorite game right now is “try to guess what GasmHooch said from the responses of others”

     Because there’s no way I’m reading her giant walls of indecipherable text.

154. 154
     Dangerously
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 10:20 am

     If you’re not taking your classy drinking to Athens, you’re doing it wrong. Even I still take my classy drinking to Athens on occasion…and I live in Chicago! Hell, I’ll be there for a wedding in 3 weeks, and I can’t wait! It’s still my favorite place to be. I try to hit it up when I’m back in town…

155. 155
     Jimbob Jones
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 10:26 am

     “I have 5 PhDs in varying fields of physics. I speak 12 languages fluently. I play 4 different musical instruments. I do all this while providing for my siblings, parents, and children.”

     Hey, I’ve never seen you at any of the “Crazy Smart People” Meetings! (If you’re there, I’m the guy with the gold-dipped cats. Boy did they howl when I dipped them, but they’re so shiny!)

     If you’ve been missing the meetings, you owe a buttload of dues.

156. 156
     maryedith
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 10:28 am

     I will look out for you. Shouldn’t be too hard to spot you with the students cleared out for the summer. Are you more a Globe or a Manhattan type?

157. 157
     maryedith
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 10:33 am

     Whoops, that was meant for Dangerously in Athens, not Jimbob at the Crazy Smart People meetings. I guess they could be combined, though.

158. 158
     Jimbob Jones
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 10:36 am

     @ME — I kind of figured

     The irritating part though is that one of the gold-dipped cats likes Manhattan, and the other likes Globe. Always with the arguing!

159. 159
     classy drunk
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 10:41 am

     Well I haven’t been to Athens in some time for party purposes (On of my good friends graduated in December), but I can’t say I won’t be back up there.

     Jimbob, $400?!?!!? Sweet Mercy. Sounds like fun times!

160. 160
     snowshoecat
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 10:50 am

     Jimbob, you don’t dip cats, you spray them. They get a better shine and dot holler so much.

161. 161
     MummyButterfly
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 11:03 am

     Do any of ya’ll remember that really old movie where the guy used real people as his wax models for his wax museum, and just poured the wax over them? That’s all I can think of when you make the “shiny cat” comments.

     Ah, Athens – my hubby is a UGA grad. I’m from a DIFFERENT SEC school, but we work it out during football season. His dream job is back in Athens, here’s hoping certain professors/employees retire at just the right time! (It’s about the only move I’m willing to make at this point.)

     Dangerously, you are my hero. (Online, of course, I have me some RL heros – but they don’t speak as many languages.)

     I am beginning to think maybe I SHOULD tell my own life story. I could do it quite coherently, and then I’d get the rational people’s sympathy vote! (We are voting, right? There is a prize somewhere… That’s what’s driving everyone.) BTW – I’m pretty sure it IS Germany, but then I’m just a stupid American who’s never left the country. Oh, wait… that’s not true – but hell, what’s truth for anyway??

162. 162
     SuburBint
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 11:06 am

     Lord help me, I’ve tried to stay out of this, but I keep getting drawn further and further into the vortex, so here’s my two cents:

     If KM is indeed on 40 *different* meds per day for pain, or even if she just takes 40 individual pills a day, my nursing background is screaming auto-immune disorder. In which case some sort of mental disintegration is pretty much inevitable, whether from the disease process (i.e,. multiple sclerosis and many times lupus) or due to the meds themselves and their inherent actions and/or med interactions, or a combination of the two. Based on the mood/tone changes between posts and rambling nature of her posts, my guess is multiple sclerosis — I’ve seen this type of inability to filter/focus a conversation to the pertinent information time and time again as the disease progresses.

     If not an autoimmune disease, spinal injury or disease is the most likely culprit, in which case she is probably on a fairly intensive narcotic regimen (although she said she only takes one narcotic and it is via transdermal absorption, but leaving that aside for now….) I personally take a total of 30mg of hydrocodone a day due to my back problems, and I tell you what, the short-term effects of that medication alone have caused me to say and do things while my meds are at peak efficacy that are simply not me. At all. Not to mention what happens when I combine my migraine meds with my back meds (which is occasionally a pure necessity,) in which case I am about 53x more fun than usual (some of my best recaps have actually been written while under the influence of that little cocktail, as have some of my more impulsive and idiotic comments) but I generally have little specific recollection of what happened during that time once the drugs wear off. Thankfully, MisterBint has yet to catch on to this little fact.

     Not to mention, if I were a Jewish refugee from Hitler’s Germany as a child (as KM appears to be claiming,) or the child of the same, odds are pretty good that *not* taking any sort of confrontation or disagreement would be a majorly learned behavior, probably something that one would have to consciously work at for the majority of one’s adult life. My BFF’s neighbor is an Aushwitz survivor, and he can’t even handle it if the kids help themselves to candy from the bowl when trick-or-treating. Some people just have baggage that seriously impairs their ability to function in society; it doesn’t excuse their behaviour, but it can help explain it.

     All of that to bring me to my main point: KM is almost certainly more to be pitied than censured. Yes she is taking the comments far too personally, yes she is over-identifying with Monti for whatever reason, yes she is not entering into the jubilant and light hearted reality-show-contestant-bashing that we all so enjoy. But is it her fault that she’s behaving like a party pooper and ginormous douche canoe? Well yes, totally, but she probably has a reason for being so bitter, jaded, and generally unpleasant.

     So seriously, you guys — Dangerously, as a fellow ‘capper, I am both thrilled to pieces and jealous as can be that your comments have reached the 150+ mark. Jimbob, I totally agree with everything you have said regarding the disparity between Monti’s comments in re: NippleGate and ballnipulation. All the rest of you ‘Gasmii, it warms my black, black heart to see you defending one another so staunchly.

     KartofflMuter, this site exists largely for the purpose of mocking television personalities both real and fiction, not because we’re better than them (not all of them at least,) but because we’re not dumb enough to go on television and allow ourselves to be edited in such a way that we look like flipping idiots. Congratulations on raising such wonderful children, kudos for overcoming so many obstacles in your life, and best wishes in fighting against the current adversaries, both physical and material, that face you. This is a remarkable community of people who understands that we don’t have to agree with each other in order to enjoy each other, and would be happy to engage with you in debating the pros and cons of shows, contestants, nail polish colors, whatever you like, if only you are as wiling to show as much respect for our opinions and experiences as you expect us to show for yours.

163. 163
     SuburBint
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 11:14 am

     P.S. I am also Christian, and if the worst stereotype you can come up with for my faith is that we’re too smiley, then somebody better put in a call to Pat Robertson STAT because apparently our fringe groups aren’t doing a good enough job of making us look like absolute fucking idiots.

164. 164
     Jimbob Jones
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 11:31 am

     “Jimbob, $400?!?!!? Sweet Mercy. Sounds like fun times!”

     I’m sure they were. I don’t remember.

165. 165
     MummyButterfly
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 11:31 am

     @SuburBint – I applaud comment #162, #163 made me snort water out my nose. And it hurts to laugh. (I normally blame the offspring currently growing in my womb for that pain, but you must now share that!)

166. 166
     Dangerously
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 11:35 am

     Ha! I kept re-reading that like “no way she meant ‘smiley,’ what else could that be???”

     Also, somehow I read “Rob Pattinson” instead of “Pat Robertson” the first time, which lead to a wild google hunt…

     As for the next recap, I’m afraid I won’t be able to finish it until tomorrow night. The bit about the hours of commuting and beyond 40 hr weeks was true, not just internets.

     @ME – I find that I’m more of a Globe or, when school isn’t in session, Trappeze kinda guy. But that’s possibly because I don’t even know what Manhattan is. I just looked on Yelp, and think I’d probably like it, but the Globe has always been my safe zone when I’m back in town and don’t want to feel like a lecherous old man.

     When I DO want to feel like a lecherous old man, I can always take a weekend drive down Millege Ave

167. 167
     maryedith
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 11:36 am

     @Jimbob, I actually worked backward through this marathon quite a ways trying to figure that out too.

168. 168
     snowshoecat
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 11:41 am

     SuperB, you are a very sweet person. We don’t deserve you.

     But TaterMom is over at Sister Wives now seemingly rational. Even humble.

     Dangerously, so nice to know you’re a homie. I’m homesick.

169. 169
     maryedith
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 11:45 am

     @Dangerously, Trappeze is great; Manhattan and Little Kings are both safe for the (slightly) older crowd and are funkier than the Globe. Go Bar seems to be THE hot spot for ageing hipsters at the moment. Just so you know, the next time you blow through. Sorry to bore the rest of you. Carry on with the crazy.

170. 170
     sarcasatire
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 11:51 am

     @Suburbint: You said it so much better than I did!

     Am I the only one who’s mouth is watering for Jimbob’s jerk chicken? Yum!

171. 171
     sheesh
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 11:55 am

     @sarcastire “Am I the only one who’s mouth is watering for Jimbob’s jerk chicken? Yum!”

     I read that and I am amazed at how juvenile I am because I whispered to myself.
     “That’s what she said”

172. 172
     SuburBint
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 11:57 am

     @168 SSC — You deserve me. Oh, yes, you deserve me. As Dangerously said, this *is* the internet. My perceived sweetness may all be part of a cunning plan. (Mwahahahahaha!)

     @ 166 Dangerously — I do tend to blame Rob Pattinson for many of the world’s ills. All he had to do was say “No” to playing Edward Cullen, and he would forever remain sweet Cedric Diggory in my heart while some other chump was the scapegoat. Do you see what happens, Rob Pattinson? DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ENCOURAGE STEPHENIE MEYER?!

     Ahem. Sorry. My issues. Continue about your business.

173. 173
     Dangerously
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 12:03 pm

     Anyone that can read “Am I the only one who’s mouth is watering for Jimbob’s jerk chicken? Yum!” and not giggle is too mature for this website.

174. 174
     SuburBint
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 12:04 pm

     @ 170 sarcasatire — A smiley emoticon! Therefore you must have Pat Robertson’s phone number! You know what you have to do. The fate of the free world rests upon your shapely (I’m assuming) shoulders.

175. 175
     sarcasatire
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 12:09 pm

     *blushes*

176. 176
     Jimbob Jones
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 12:30 pm

     I come back and people are talking about my jerk chicken… That’s a little personal, dontcha think?

177. 177
     snowshoecat
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 12:47 pm

     Well, Jimbob, you started it. We are all wanting some.

178. 178
     lindaw205
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 1:59 pm

     I’m still waiting for the recipe.

179. 179
     Dangerously
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 2:00 pm

     This IS a MasterChef recap, after all…you can’t expect to mention a recipe and not make people moist people’s mouths water….

180. 180
     michkabibbles
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 2:13 pm

     at this point it seems that jimbob is a jerk chicken tease.

181. 181
     exhero
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 2:26 pm

     I’m willing to bet Jimbob’s recipe is just stunning.

182. 182
     snowshoecat
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 3:03 pm

     Oh jimbob, you want to give it to is. You know you do. And we really do want it.

183. 183
     KartofflMuter
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 3:12 pm

     You sure you take 30mg??? I take 4,000mg and it doesn’t help and 60mg Cymbalta x2 and soma350mgx4 and topiramate-x8 and estradiol,Fluoxetine max dose,sythroid-125,cytomel,metoprolol,prometrium,spironolactone-x4,,Wellchol x 6,Butrans,Prilosec,Asmanex, promethazine, etc.Ice packs. Except when we had no ins.and I just bought the vicodin and soma.30mg? Not 300?

184. 184
     BelowSeaLevel
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 4:11 pm

     Almost at 200! I enjoyed your recap, Dangerously.

     @ sarcasatire “Am I the only one who’s mouth is watering for Jimbob’s jerk chicken? Yum!” One of the funniest comments ever.

185. 185
     SuburBint
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 4:34 pm

     @KartofflMuter — Given that I am a human being and not a rhinocerous, yes, I take only 30mg per day. 7.5/325 (Norco) qid = 30mg/day. And I even did the math in my head!

     You take 4,000 mg of hydrocodone per day? I call bullshit. Unless pharmaceutical regulations have greatly changed over the past few years, the maximum dosage that can be prescribed and sold by a pharmacy is the 15/325 formulation, so in order to take 4000 mg of hydrocodone a day would require about 266 pills and would bring with it a dosage of… sorry, I do need a calculator for this one… over 86,000 mg of acetaminophen per day, so I don’t know if I should congratulate you on having the world’s most remarkable liver constitution or marvel at your ability to communicate from beyond the grave. Not to mention the fact the 4,000mg/day of pure hydrocodone, were you able to obtain it, would also kill you. There is simply no way to build up that much of a tolerance unless you’ve been taking it daily since birth and gradually increasing the dosage, and even then it’s unlikely.

     That is quite a list of meds, and I would strongly suggest that you address your entire list of prescription medications with each and every prescribing physician, simply because most patients forget to report new prescriptions from other doctors when being treated for another complaint. I would also highly recommend trying to get off of the Cymbalta, because that drug is almost as bad as prednisone when it comes to long-term side effects that can ruin a person’s life. I turned into a raging, practically homicidal lunatic when I was on it, and everyone who I have known personally that took it also suffered from severe mood and personality changes. Yes, I realize that you didn’t ask for my advice. But seriously — do yourself a favor and look into alternatives.

     Life sucks when you’re in pain. I honestly do get that, because I have had severe, painful, life-experience-limiting health issues literally my entire life. But it doesn’t give one carte blanche for rudeness.

186. 186
     KartofflMuter
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 4:55 pm

     Before I read any further-I take 2 500mg tabs 4 times a day. They come in giant bottles-quantity 240. I’ve taken them for years. The soma-only since 1986. Pardon my soon to be swept away dust.

187. 187
     KartofflMuter
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 5:07 pm

     post script-ginormous rhino that I am-I only have ONE Dr. and ONE pharmacy and blood tests every 90 days. My house has been in foreclosure for-4 delightful years,so the Cymbalta was supposed to make me less panicky-ha har. Then the Feral cat bit me on her one and only trip to the vet since my husband held her down instead of by the scruff. She had 4 rotten teeth needing extraxtion and the poor thing was pregnany but when my Dr. prescribed Levaquin-my body took 6 months to recover from the increased muscle pain-thus-more Cymbalta.I have Fibromyalgia,Hypothyroid,Hashimoto’s,Van Willebrandt’s, Scoliosis,sciatica,and degenerative disc disease plus endometriosis on parts you don’t usually get it. All in all,I’m putting my bets on reincarnation. Or pastuerization.

188. 188
     michkabibbles
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 5:30 pm

     post traumatic stress! failing pharmacology was the reason i had to drop out of vet school many many years ago.

     thanks for the insight, suburbint

189. 189
     snowshoecat
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 5:43 pm

     Okay TaterMom. Just don’t take it out on us. We are cheaper than a shrink, but can’t give you any more than giving you the satisfaction of dumping on strangers who simply do not care about you.

     You are zonked out on lots of meds– or not because one of your stories said you can’t afford them. Loving, caring people shouldn’t me made to feel responsible for the likes of you. I am not among them.

     Oh goodie, we are almost there! Yay!

     Okay potatoMuthah keep it going until the 200 mark. Then go away. I see you have invaded other sites. You’re like kudzu. Well, I know you have been on other sites before, but you are just getting warmed up, aren’t you?

190. 190
     maryedith
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 5:46 pm

     Hmm. KM must get seizures or migraines if she takes topomirate (I take that) and fluoxetine is just Prozac. Suburbint, you are the sweetest, but I’m just not buying this med list of KM’s.

191. 191
     MummyButterfly
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 5:58 pm

     For those of you interested in such things: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hydrocodone

     “In the United States, under the Controlled Substances Act (CSA) hydrocodone is listed as both a Schedule II and Schedule III substance depending on the formulation.

     Schedule II lists hydrocodone in pure form and any formulations of combination products containing more than 15 mg hydrocodone per dosage unit.”

     Schedule II is 15mg! That would mean that according to KM, she is taking pills containing 33x the Schedule II dosage!

     FYI: Extra Strength Vicodin has 7.5mg of Hydrocodone per pill… Most pills that contain Hydrocodone are cut with other meds, using a formula like 7.5/750 (indicating 7.5mg Hydrocodone and 750mg .Acetaminophen) My guess is that KM is taking something that has Hydrocodone IN it, but not 4,000mg of straight Hydrocodone a day.

     Sorry, I’m going to have to go with SuburBint on this one. When things are so exaggerated that they cannot be true, then it’s hard to believe ANYTHING that is said. (And yes, I could use websites besides Wikipedia to prove my point, but let’s face it. MOST of the peeps on this website – and I LOVE most of you – would have a hard time following the medical websites that say the same thing.)

192. 192
     KartofflMuter
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 5:58 pm

     Best laugh all day-Hubby just gave me a partial bill for the non existent drugs-$464-that’s the co-pay.
     Good laugh. I even took a picture of them 2 months ago as I was loading up the boxes. Then the dog. jumped on the couch. 2 hours shot. and 1500 pills on the floor. Ha. I wonder if Tali would make a nice “foam” with that?
     Halb lustig.

193. 193
     sarcasatire
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 6:12 pm

     Suburbint, you Beautiful Rhinoceros.

     I think KM’s last few posts have been a bit conciliatory, or at least not aggressive. Maybe we should cut her a bit of slack? I’m thinking she realized she can engage in conversation without going on the offense..seems like she’s trying to anyway. What am I saying? I’m just brownnosing in hopes of her passing me one of those 300mg pills. It’s hump day and mama’s tryna get fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked up!

194. 194
     Moli
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 6:16 pm

     I’m surprised she’s still here, now that’s a dedicated troll.

195. 195
     maryedith
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 6:19 pm

     @sarcasatire, I agree, and I didn’t mean to sound mean. I just don’t think it’s worth it to engage on the pharmacological level because (shit, I’m about to say “rabbit hole” and I HATE that overused expression)…

196. 196
     Classy Drunk
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 6:20 pm

     Almost there team!

     I think KM is exaggerating now for our sakes and we are now as entertaining to her as she is to us and that my friends is the circle of life. Not that wack as message from the Lion King.

197. 197
     snowshoecat
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 6:21 pm

     oh she’s dedicated. And a troll. And such a BSer! superB and MummyB know!

     She’s quite the authority on SYTYCD too.

     And MBFAW.

     Whatevs.

198. 198
     MummyButterfly
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 6:22 pm

     @MaryEdith – now I’m imagining Rabbits sitting around their burrow all hyped up on pills. With iPads to surf the web, (because iPads get WiFi, and you KNOW those rabbits don’t have room for Broadband underground…).

199. 199
     Jimbob Jones
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 6:23 pm

     So, here’s how you make Jerk Chicken.

     Take a chicken. And name it Tali.

     Bazinga!

     Actually, my sauce recipe is pretty much just a modified one from the Joy of Cooking. I learned how to make it myself because I was tired of not being able to control the spiciness. (There’s an excellent commercial one called Walkerswood if you don’t want to make the sauce yourself)

     Just toss the following into a food processor or blender, and let it go for several minutes (I always do — last thing I want is someone biting into a chunk of habenero):

     1/3 cup lime juice (fresh)
     3 green onions (roughly chopped)
     4 habenero peppers (this is for “party mode”, when I’m making it for humans with mouths. I’ve used as many as 8 when I’m in the mood for REALLY hot, but my Indian wife won’t touch it at that point)
     2 tbls dried basil
     2 tbls dried thyme
     2 tbls vinegar (any kind works. The taste difference is subtle, but I’ve used all of them with no ill effect)
     2 tbls orange juice
     2 tbls pineapple juice (if I have it)
     1-2 tbls mustard (I honestly just squirt a bunch in there from the bottle)
     1 tbls dried chipotle powder (I like the smoky flavor it adds)
     2 tsp allspice
     1 tsp cloves
     1 tsp salt
     1 tsp pepper

     Once you blend this up really well, you can marinate the chicken in it or not (the longer it marinates, the hotter it gets). One note: WEAR GLOVES OR PLASTIC BAGS ON YOUR HANDS WHEN HANDLING THE SAUCE (to put it on the chicken or whatever). Touching your face or… other… areas is unpleasant with this stuff on your hands.

     Then grill it like you’d grill any other chicken (I tend to par-cook mine just because I’m usually making this for parties, but since there’s no sugar in the sauce, you don’t really need to worry about scorching like you would with BBQ). You can also cook it in the oven (which is what I do on my annual trips since most nice hotels are unlikely to have grills in the room).

     This is interesting in that it’s also hotter the morning after it’s been cooked. (So leftovers are awesome).

     One thing I also do is cook it with the jerk sauce, and then add BBQ sauce to some of the grilled pieces (so you end up with really spicy BBQ chicken).

200. 200
     KartofflMuter
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 6:24 pm

     Ok nutty 9- which is exactly WHY I ask if you took 30 Mg. I have a bottle that says 500 mg. The rest I can’t read because theysay
     HYDROCO/APAP 5-500 M TA
     WATSON Gen for: Vicodin 5
     Take TWO TABLETS BY MOUTH
     FOUR TIMES DAILY

     No idea why the downstairs lot say mg but the pharmacy changed hands 4 months ago and they don’t speak english. So I thought I’d ask you to be safe-so thanks for the derision. This rhino will go and swallow a few more.more . You don’t buy it? Cute .Cytomel-pharmacies never carry it. It’s for Hashimoto’s Not a common drug. Synthroid-worked my way up from 80-125. Wellchol-Cholesterol-made in Austria. Horse sized pills-but no statins. Cholesterol is 350-so was my mother’s-genetic disposition.Promethazine? Pain and pills make me vomit a lot.Metoprolol-high BP-surprised? Soma,topiramate,Cytomel, everything else-Fibro-supposed to short circuit the pain pathways.Spironolactone? something whacky with my testosterone levels and a water pill. Prometrium and 2nd hormone-for endometriosis. Please send the check to this address.

201. 201
     snowshoecat
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 6:24 pm

     Oh Classy!! she’s just helping us make 2000. Where’s Shees?

202. 202
     michkabibbles
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 6:25 pm

     although i can see that her idea of a hydrocodone foam probably appeals to many. but i doubt tali has the talent or imagine to make it happen.

203. 203
     sarcasatire
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 6:25 pm

     In all seriousness, my dad is due for hip replacement (surgery next month!) and he is on oxycodone, I think. It’s cut with acetaminophen and it’s like 30mg, i think. He doesn’t like the wy it makes him feel. I looked into it and it has opiate like affects on the body and even stopping cold turkey could cause some severe withdrawal symptoms . I imagine if @KM is on all those pills, she could not miss a single day or the withdrawals would be more life threatening than the pills themselves. If we believe her. I tend to side with Suburbint, who diagnosed KM’s spinal issues and auto-immune disorder before she even disclosed it! That’s a mighty fine nurse, I’ll say!!

204. 204
     MummyButterfly
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 6:27 pm

     Okay KM – you take 8 pills per day, correct? Those pills have FIVE (5) mg of Hydrocodone in them. You take FORTY (40) mg of Hydrocodone a day. FORTY. Not 4,000 mg. Just so we are clear. That is a lot more believable.

205. 205
     maryedith
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 6:28 pm

     Leave it to Kartofflballnipulator to miss her chance at 200!

206. 206
     snowshoecat
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 6:28 pm

     Wouldn’t you know who would be 200.

     Quack quack quack.

     And thank you for the recipe jimbob. We may stop lusting now.

207. 207
     Jimbob Jones
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 6:28 pm

     This whole conversation reminds me of a joke from Psych:

     “He was 4 foot 9, and 3 feet of that was drugs”

208. 208
     sarcasatire
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 6:34 pm

     Ahhh! We missed it!

     BALLMUTILATOR!!

     PILLPOPILLATOR!!

     TROLL ANNIHILATOR!

209. 209
     MummyButterfly
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 6:36 pm

     @Dangerously – A big “CONGRATS!” to you on your big recap! Who knew that it would be Masterchef t0 get you there?

210. 210
     michkabibbles
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 6:51 pm

     jerk recipe copied and pasted. and man, i love psych. did tvgasm ever recap those? dual spires will forever be one of my favorites episodes of tv ever.

211. 211
     sarcasatire
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 6:56 pm

     Thanks for the recipe, Jimbob! I’ll be jerking my own chicken now.

212. 212
     Dangerously
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 8:33 pm

     Good lord, do you guys have any idea how long it takes to scroll through all these comments on an iPhone. I do….forfuckingever. Also, it turns out “forfuckingever” is in my iPhone’s autocomplete dictionary. I can stop swearing whenever I want!!!

     Jimbob, the chicken sounds delicious. And good warning there. Nothing worse than cutting up habenero peppers then touching yourself. I mean…holding your junk to pee.

     @MB, if it wasn’t MasterChef, not sure what it’d be….it’s all I recap these days…

     You guys all have serious issues, and for that I love you all. This post has received 2000% more comments than any other post I’ve had! And that’s not crazy fake math, either! <3 you all, stay tuned for the next 'cap Friday morning!!!

213. 213
     Dangerously
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 8:34 pm

     I mean <3 Y'ALL!!! I've been up here too long

214. 214
     Pikey
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 8:58 pm

     Holy crap on a cracker!

     I go away for 2 days and come home to this! Damn, I love TVGasm and most of its’ commenters…

     Don’t want to add to any of the drama so am just going to say how much I enjoy your recaps Dangerously – looking forward to Friday morning…

215. 215
     SuburBint
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 10:22 pm

     Geez Louise, you people have been busy for the past few hours.

     @Dangerously — Grats on 200+ comments. Feel free to stop by one of my recaps and create drama in the comments any time you like before I die of envy. (I was going to put a smiley face there, but I think I have to stop using them now.)

     @Jimbob Jones — I will never be able to make jerk anything again without thinking of you. Also, Psych is one of my favorite shows so brownie points for that reference.

     @michkabibbles — Pharmacology is de debil.

     @SSC — Put the claws away, kitty-cat. All we’re trying to do here is clear the air so we can move from off topic rants and personal attacks to the kind of debate where we can all wake up tomorrow morning and still look ourselves in the eye while brushing our teeth. That’s my goal at least.

     @Mummy B — I hope your nose has recovered from the earlier snorting incident. And your wikipedia link was very enlightening and lay-person friendly. How many baby butterflies (caterpillars?) do you have?

     @sarcasatire — Aww shucks. I have my moments.

     @maryedith — I buy the list, just not the dosage. Because of science.

     @Classy Drunk — Nuffin’ much, just thought I’d say hi.

     @KartofflMuter — I don’t doubt that you take what you take for the reasons that you take it, and am now going to give you more unsolicited advice, which is meant entirely out of kindness. Your Vicodin prescription contains 5mg of hydrocodone and 500 mg of acetaminophen per pill (which is what APAP 5/500 means.) If you’re taking 2 pills 4 times daily, that means 10mg hydrocodone per dose and 1000mg acetaminophen per dose, plus you are meeting the maximum acceptable short term dosage of acetaminophen (4000 mg) every single day. The FDA is currently in the process of officially reducing the maximum acceptable level of daily acetaminophen to 3000mg because it is seriously hard on the liver over the long term. Combine that with your other meds (especially the Cymbalta), and if you ever, ever, ever drink alcohol or take Tylenol, you are playing medication roulette with your liver. Next time you see your doc, it’s worth asking if you can switch from the 5/500 hydrocodone/acetaminophens to the 10/325s. That’s the same amount of opiod pain relief for about a third of the acetaminophen, plus it’s less pills to deal with which will probably be reflected in your pharmaceutical co-pays. It would also be worth asking about dropping the Cymbalta and Prozac in favor of something like Wellbutrin, which will get rid of one medication, benefit your liver, and reduce your co-pays even further. I am truly surprised that neither your pharmacist or physician ever expressed concern over the Vicodin/Cymbalta combination and looked for a safer option, not to mention the potentially fatal risk of serotonin syndrome while taking both Cymbalta and Prozac. With as many meds as you take, it would probably be worth getting a medication reference book and looking up side effects and possible interactions yourself every time something new is prescribed for you, because based on the list that you provided it really doesn’t look like your doctor is doing that thoroughly enough.

     You have clearly been through the wringer multiple times throughout your life, and I am sure that those experiences have created certain perceptions about others and triggers that cause you to respond in certain ways when you feel belittled or that your opinion and life experiences are being discounted. I know for a fact that among the group of those who frequently participate in the comments here at TVgasm we have recovering addicts, abuse survivors (domestic, sexual, physical, you name it,) several people with debilitating or degenerative illnesses, etc. We all have baggage, and I don’t think any one of us can genuinely claim to have had it worse than anybody else, because we don’t know what the person on the other side of that screenname has truly been through. This is also a group of some of the most intelligent, wittiest, sharpest, funniest, most sincere people that I have ever had the privilege to “know.” It is a community well worth belonging to, and it would be a shame to deprive yourself of the opportunity to become a vital, treasured part of it due to knee-jerk reactions and derogatory comments towards people who are taking advantage of the forum provided to all of us so that we can share our perceptions and opinions. This whole thing started because one commenter dislikes a contestant that you feel an affinity towards. That happens all the time around here and I have never once seen it turn into such a vitriolic clusterfuck (and before anybody says anything, pageant moms piping in on T&T threads doesn’t count ‘cos them bitches be crazy!) If we all agreed about everything all the time, things would get boring around here, and if we can’t disagree civilly and courteously, then people are going to stop commenting, and that will destroy everything that makes TVgasm great. So I implore you all: can’t we all just get along while disagreeing vehemently?

     I love you guys. I love this site. I can’t believe the amount of time that I’ve spent on this thread and this post. I’m pretty sure my comments on this thread combined are longer than a few of my Jersey Shore recaps. And now I’m going to go do my Tonight’s Top 10 Shows for tomorrow while I still have a job.

     SuburBint out! <3

216. 216
     Jimbob Jones
     Posted June 27, 2012 at 10:48 pm

     Since SB’s comment pretty much seemed to close out this thread (in a classy way — what the hell, Suburbint? We don’t need that ‘class’ stuff around here!), a few parting comments:

     Thank goodness TVGasm moved to the new back-end software. Could you imagine how bad 200+ comments would have destroyed the old one? Especially when they spanned multiple pages?

     And I’m now moving WannaHooch up as one of my ponies, replacing Cowboy Hat, simply because of this thread. If she could give Dangerously his “superstar” thread, then she’s OK with me. (Incidentally, I don’t see ‘Hooch’ as a derogatory name, simply because I WANTED Hooch to win last season, so I’ll continue to call her WannaHooch until she proves she’s sane, or moves up to full Hooch status)

     Glad to see I’m not the only lover of Psych. I wish I would remember to record it, though, since I’ve only seen the 5 seasons on Netflix. Awesome awesome show.

217. 217
     lindaw205
     Posted June 28, 2012 at 12:35 am

     Thanks for providing us with that recipe, it sounds delicious!

218. 218
     sheesh
     Posted June 28, 2012 at 4:47 am

     I was out eating chicken tikka masala last night when there was the 200th comment!

     I was so prepared I was rocking back and forth like I was about to go in on double dutch.

     I even had a shoutout “JERK MY CHICKEN AT DRAGONCON!!!!!”

     PS. Dangerously…I went to the website and was sad that Ray Bradbury died. If there was ever a
     muthafuckah that should be cryogenically frozen….

     I am reading “Ender” now…scifi rules!

219. 219
     snowshoecat
     Posted June 28, 2012 at 5:10 am

     I closed off @206, SuperB, retracted claws and went to sleep. Also, the nine-year-old boy trapped in my brain giggled when you said you’d never be able to jerk anything again without thinking of jimbob. Well, that ought to be interesting! *cough*

     KM, I apologize for getting so mean. I mean it. You reminded me of my mother and I responded to you the way I never could to her. I have noticed in other posts that you very closely identify with characters on shows and respond to attacks as though you are being attacked.

     That does not work well on a site created for people to make fun of tv characters, real, created-real, scripted, whatever. We are here to snark, belittle, revile, whatever works. We really aren’t doing that to you unless you attack us first.

     Above all, KM, I hope that you take SuburBint’s sage advice. She is an excellent health care pro and knows her stuff. She also has your welfare at heart. Believe it or not, so do I. Pain is nasty and I hope you can find the proper combination of meds, meditation, Yoga, and therapy that work to alleviate yours. Meditation is the best thing ever for healing body and soul, and I think your soul could use a little pampering.

     Sheesh! Tried to conjure you to get here in time for 200. Thinking of you!

220. 220
     MummyButterfly
     Posted June 28, 2012 at 5:33 am

     @SuburBint – We DO call them Caterpillars and between my Husband and I we are working on #6. This one is a boy, and will be our last. We’re now even with 3 boys and 3 girls and I have OCD and can’t imagine being uneven again. Well, that and my Hubby is 13 years older than I am and actually wants to be alive when the Caterpillars go off to college.

     HOWEVER – as I said on one of the SisterWives Threads, I was a surrogate once for friends, and I have a VERY good friend who can’t have kids and is still trying to decide if she can live with that. If she can’t, then I’ll go through pregnancy one more time for her.

221. 221
     SuburBint
     Posted June 28, 2012 at 5:51 am

     @SSC — Mind out of the gutter, lady! I meant jerk as… well, still as a verb, I guess, but solely as it relates to cooking. Although I think I may now be scarred for life.

     @sheesh — Love, love, love Ender’s Game. It had an incredible influence on my perception of the world as an adolescent. Not to mention the fact that it was way less sexually confusing than all of the Heinlein novels I read during the same time frame. Also loved Speaker for the Dead but wasn’t crazy about the other two. Probably should give them a try now that I’m hypothetically all grown up. Had no idea Ray Bradbury had died. That bites.

     @Mummy B — Your uterus must be made of adamantium. I stopped at 4, and many days I wake up asking myself why I thought that many was a good idea. Couldn’t pick one to do without, though.

222. 222
     MummyButterfly
     Posted June 28, 2012 at 6:09 am

     @SuburBint – Our oldest two (girls) are from Hubby’s first marriage. The next two are from my first marriage (boys), after that I had a cutie-pie little girl for friends of mine (she is bio-theirs, but her Mum couldn’t carry her, so I did). Then I had our current youngest – a girl. She’s our handful. Spent most of her life with two older brothers… This past week we were at the library and she walks up to me with a cockroach in her hand (she’s holding it by one wing). It’s still wiggling and she’s telling me she wants to name it and take it home with her.

     After making it go in the trash, and disinfecting her entire body, I choose to take that as a sign that I’m such a great and wonderful and CLEAN mother that my child has no idea that cockroaches are dirty and live in dirty houses.

     And the one in my womb was a pleasant surprise. I was told I couldn’t get pregnant again- 3 years passed, then “poof” – baby appeared! I’m due around Thanksgiving, but had all my Caterpillars 5 weeks early, so the goal is to make it to October.

     I’m in agreement with you, though, sometimes when the noise level reaches a certain point I wish it would just be QUIET – but I can’t think of which voice I could live without. I homeschool the boys (and will the younger girl when she’s out of preschool), so it’s a constant thing, but I love it.

223. 223
     snowshoecat
     Posted June 28, 2012 at 6:35 am

     Waaaaaaaay off topic sic-fi lovers @218 et al. Need help. <3 Bradbury ESP. Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett (RIP). Anyone willing to help identify a short story from my description, please email snowshoecat1@aim.com. Going Mad trying to remember.

     10Q

     Back to topic– SuperB, I told you there is a 9year old boy trapped in my brain, which is why I get along so well with both male kittens. How do you and Madam…oops MummyB DO it?

224. 224
     SuburBint
     Posted June 28, 2012 at 6:55 am

     @SSC — We live on two acres. When they get to be too much, I send them outside to play. In the case of inclement weather, we watch Doctor Who. A lot of Doctor Who. You haven’t truly lived until you’ve heard a two year-old attempt to use the word Raxacoricofallapatorius in casual conversation.

     I would love to help you figure out the short story you have in mind, but I’m really not sure what you’re looking for. It’s co-written by Bradbury, Adams, and Pratchett? It’s about Bradbury and written by Adams and Pratchett? It’s a hypothetical scenario in which the three of them meet for tea, cakes, and a rousing game of Authors (see what I did there?) Help a girl out!

225. 225
     Dangerously
     Posted June 28, 2012 at 7:06 am

     This seems relevant…

     http://www.theonion.com/articles/following-ray-bradburys-death-thousands-of-people,28434/

     It’s also how I learned of his death….

226. 226
     michkabibbles
     Posted June 28, 2012 at 7:12 am

     @suburbint-what shows do you recap? i’ve really enjoyed your comments here and on the sister wives thread

227. 227
     snowshoecat
     Posted June 28, 2012 at 7:27 am

     SuperB, oooooops! I just listed my favorite sic-fi authors. I have no idea who wrote the short story (another useful bit of info) I’m looking for.

     Raised the kittens on 16 acres of deep Wisconsin woods so I know what you mean. Well, 16 were ours and there were more adjacent. My favorite phrase was “OUT!!” No matter what the weather. I still can’t wrap mynhead around that many, although hubbycat is one of six. I was an only. Still am, actually.

228. 228
     SuburBint
     Posted June 28, 2012 at 7:47 am

     @michkabibbles — I recapped the most recent season of Jersey Shore, and am currently recapping Snooki & JWoww and do the daily Tonight’s Top 10 Shows. I have to say, I think my Jersey Shore recaps are my finest work, but S&J has just started so I may find my groove there. I also recapped Smash briefly but abandoned it because a) no one was watching it, and b) it made me want to gouge my eyes out with a grapefruit spoon. My goal is to complete the season one Smash recaps this summer so that if someone wants to pick it up for next season, our library is complete. But we’ll see; I’ve been able to successfully procrastinate this far, I may keep the momentum going until September. If you are interested in reading my work, I would suggest starting with JS… you can find them by clicking the “More of Hot Shows” link under the list of Hot Shows. Thank you for your kind words. I do tend to have a lot to say on a variety of topics, and rarely hold back, so it’s comforting to know that I am appreciated instead of annoying!

     @SSC — Do you remember anything at all about the short story in question? Vague plot line? Seminal event? Main character’s name? Anything at all? That would be helpful!

229. 229
     michkabibbles
     Posted June 28, 2012 at 8:02 am

     @suberbint-thanks! i actually might go back and read the jersey shore recaps-i tend the watch the new years marathons every year to catch up. i’m a little ashamed at how much i like pauly d. i tend to read a lot at work (i do 95% of my job on the computer, and when my brain needs a little break i switch to something to read online. right now i’m making my way through j-mo’s shear genius/ tabatha’s take over recaps). is there a master list somewhere of all the shows tvgasm has recapped?

     and i think you had a very sooooothing affect on the comments here. i get angrier than i should at complete strangers, so thanks for some much needed perspective.

     @ssc-i’m willing to help, too. i read a bunch of fantasy (more than sci-fi), although not too many short stories. but if it’s not too recent, i worked in a public library for years and years, so there might be something that strums my memory.

230. 230
     sheesh
     Posted June 28, 2012 at 9:18 am

     Scientist wants secret to immortality…discovers it with a typewriter…only slows time down for himself…ends up as an exhibit in a museum…finger slowly moving to “m” key…

     @michkabibbles (your name is going to be hard not to screw up when I drunk post)
     You are my hero…I love libraries…jelly!

231. 231
     Jimbob Jones
     Posted June 28, 2012 at 9:33 am

     “Your uterus must be made of adamantium”

     Is it just me, or does “Adamantium Uterus” sound like an awesome name for a band?

     I’m honorisgusted that people will now be thinking of me whenever they jerk… chicken. I owe this award to all of the people that have jerked before and dedicate it to those who will jerk after. For those that are jerking now, be sure to clean up the mess, and, for God’s sake, wash your hands! (Because of the habenero sauce — what did you think I meant?)

     I can’t really help with the sci-fi story. I’m as geeky as they come, but outside of Firefly, Dr Who, and Battlestar, I really haven’t ever been interested in Syfy (hey, if a network thinks spelling it that stupid is OK, so do I!)

     Now if it was horror, I’d be able to help.

232. 232
     snowshoecat
     Posted June 28, 2012 at 9:47 am

     Mich & SuperB See Sheesh @230. Nicely summed up! Thank you Sheesh!

     snowshoecat1@aim.com if you want a more comprehensive plot summary/end of story I’ll send it by return mail.

     JimBob!!!!!! It could very well be horror. I’m an O Henry, Saki kinda gal and it was just that type. Even more than sci-fi perhaps.

     SuperB– read your emails, for goodness sake.

233. 233
     michkabibbles
     Posted June 28, 2012 at 10:14 am

     @ssc- emailed you re: short story-i have a friend who might be able to help.
     library jobs are pretty much the only ones (of meaning and length) that i’ve ever had. right now i have my semi-dream job-i work digitizing rare books for a private research library-all the books, none of the public! to misquote terry pratchett’s librarian at unseen university: i always thought libraries would be perfect without all the people.

234. 234
     MummyButterfly
     Posted June 28, 2012 at 4:39 pm

     @Snowshoecat – I don’t know how I do it, since we are currently working on a total remodel of the house and currently living in a 3 bedroom apartment. It’s chaos. Good chaos, but chaos. LOTS of time at the park and pool.

     @SuburBint/Jimbob Jones – My uterus is probably the only part of me that works in an exceptional manner. I produce fully-healthy babies at 35 weeks, consistently. (I also was born with no tonsils, no wisdom teeth AND only 3 sinus cavities – I like to think I’m the next phase of Human.)

235. 235
     SuburBint
     Posted June 28, 2012 at 9:05 pm

     @Mummy B — An adamantium uterus more than makes up for a missing sinus cavity! Mine’s more or less made out of tissue paper.

     @michkabibbles — I’m fairly certain that I’m betrothed to Gypsy if MisterBint keels over unexpectedly, but your Terry Pratchett reference puts you on the short list. How do you feel about raising goats?

236. 236
     Sunshine
     Posted June 29, 2012 at 1:38 pm

     @17 and @18 -I agree…depending on a competition to support your children is not cool and I think she does play that card too often…..many of us ….tons of us….have had to work more than one job to support our kids as a single parent…and some parents …even if they are not single…have to do that as well.

237. 237
     Sunshine
     Posted June 29, 2012 at 1:48 pm

     OMG Kartoff…it’s a food show comment blog…give it a break already….nobody needs to know your whole life story and your children’s whole life story…..EVERYBODY has a life and a story….everybody has their own struggles that you can or can’t relate to …..this is not the place for it

     People have opinions…they differ from yours……it’s not an attack…..lighten up and enjoy the recaps for what they are meant to be…..light fun……

     Unbelievable…..now carry on and insult everyone else around you…..if that’s what floats your boat but don’t be surprised when “ignore” is hit when people start seeing your name in the future.

     LIGHTEN UP – it’s master chef – not 60 mins.