MasterChef Recap: What Are You Afraid Of?

Recaps

By Dangerously | Monday, June 18, 2012 | 1:32 am | 9 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Featured, Master Chef, Recaps

Second up is Sammy. She barely cooked the duck at all. It’s practically raw…not ideal for poultry… Teddy refers to her dish as “raw duck and the leaning tower of dryness.” 

In the event she gets sent home, I thought I’d give everyone one more picture…

Bastage tells her it’s bad on so many levels that it’s hard to explain. 

Messin’ with sasquatch is up last. His duck profiteroles are shitty. 

The judges confer. Sasquatch gets sent…back to his station. He’s safe. 

Next up is the battle of the delusional r-tards. Sammy tells us her dish looks 10x better than Flava Elevata’s, so she doesn’t understand how she’s in the position she’s in (HEEEY LAAAAADDDDDYYYYY!!!! You forgot to cook your duck!!!)

FE tells us that at least his was edible, even though it was presented like an asshole. 

So Gordie starts in…the person leaving this competition is….

FE INTERRUPTS HIM!!! “I just want to say I’m not ready to go home yet and you were right the hero of the dish was really the duck and out of the two of us the duck was better executed by me and you guys can’t uh eat raw duck…”

Shut up, you stupid twit!

Man, that guy somehow spoke entirely without punctuation. That’s impressive. Sadly, you know just going by this, that FE won’t be sent home. 

Yeah…he’s not. Goodbye, Sammy. We’re probably better off with one fewer self-righteous delusional crazy person on the show, right? It’s not like she was going to be cooking naked. I hope.

Love to see you leave, and love to watch you go. It’s a win-win!!

Beautiful Rhinoceros has something to say about Flava Elevata’s little soliloquy…

It was a fuckin’ bitch move. 

That sums it up nicely, I think. My wish, after that whole speech, was for them to be like “lol nm, we’re not sending anyone home,” so he’d have to sleep with one eye open for fear of hot Sammy going all stabbity on his face. It’s ok, though, there are 16 other people who think he’s a twat, so this should be fun. He’s worse than Nazi Max, it’s amazing. Also, now that I think of it, it’d have been funny to see the douchey over-privileged New Yorker and the (was she) Indian (?) girl as rivals again this year. 

So, instead of calling up the three best to taste, since we already wasted all that time with the three worst and have to fit this shit into a network TV timeslot…they just tell everyone that the winner of the first ever mystery box (this year) is Felix. She cries tears of joy and talks about validation. 

Becky tells us she doesn’t think Felix deserved to win. What? Becky, you’ve lost your almost-Whit2.0 status. Don’t worry, though. You’re still my pony…unless you want me to be your pony. You’re welcome to ride me for just one carnival ticket. 

So, right. Felix gets a huge advantage. The disembodied voice tells us that Felix is the first MasterChef contestant to enter the MasterChef pantry. She gushes about how it’s the most amazing pantry she’s ever seen in her whole life. So, she gets to choose one of three dishes for everyone to compete on. The theme of this challenge is “intimidating dishes.” Joe’s clearly harkens back to his fear of his mother, because it’s risotto. Teddy’s is just pretty fucking perplexing…New England Clam Chowder (is that the red or the white?). Gordies, well…

Gordie, why the suspense? We all know it’s beef wellington, and we all know that I’m not in a million years going to choose that dish. 

So, predictably, she doesn’t choose the beef wellington. Sadly for her, it turns out that she has a free pass through this round…so she is probably pretty bummed that she didn’t pick the beef wellington now. 

Gordie tells everyone that at least one of them will be eliminated. They get 45 minutes to make a stunning risotto, and off they run to the pantry. Daredevil takes a moment to make sure we know where her disadvantage lies this time: she can only cook with things she knows about, so she can’t really try to innovate…considering what I’ve seen on MasterChef in the last couple years, that actually seems like a huge advantage, since it seems like most of the eliminations in the first 3/4 of the season are because people try to get too cute. 

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5
Dangerously

Dangerously is a Southern boy misplaced in windy Chicago. He spends most of his time wandering around Chicago hoping for a random encounter with Graham Elliot...(I bet that guy gives the best hugs!).

9 Comments

  1. 1
    timgunnssister timgunnssister
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 7:05 am

    I fear for Monti. She’s so clueless. Sadly, she won’t last. And how can one chef say their dish is better than anothers without tasting it? Do they taste each others dishes? What happens to all the food at the end of the show? And why NOT aliens?

  2. 2
    Pikey
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 8:52 am

    I love it when contestants are clueless. The only thing that gets a person eliminated is bad food. So Tali and Elevator can conspire all they want! All that David Martinez has to do is cook better than them (which doesn’t look like it is too hard). So far my money is on Martinez for the win!

  3. 3
    SuburBint
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 9:33 am

    I can not stand that worried puppy look on Monti’s face during every. single. judgment. I won’t be sorry to see her go, but honestly, I feel like they’re giving her the underdog edit and I wouldn’t be surprised if she makes it pretty far in the competition.

  4. 4
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 10:02 am

    I’d guess that FE is insecure first, then he’s more classist than racist. Dave is clearly working class, and FE can’t fathom how someone so “common” could impress master chefs. Of course, Tali’s happy being his Renfield so he doesn’t get judged the same way. Also, Tali seems to suck as a chef.

    Plus, Dave seems to have a strong douchemeter and doesn’t like FE, either.

  5. 5
    Eric
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 12:42 pm

    Samantha’s last name is De Silva so not Indian..

    Also, all these Masterchef contestants have their own twitter! FE (and Tali) is a huge douchebag even on twitter!

  6. 6
    Mummy Butterfly
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 1:32 pm

    First – I would like to say that as someone who has been a single mother for a lot of my kids lives – I totally taught them how to make risotto. Now, this is mostly because at age 10 my oldest son said “If those idiots can make it – I can make it”, while watching Hell’s Kitchen. He also, at this age, learned how to cook scallops properly. If HK has taught my child anything it’s that reality TV does not “TEND” to attract intelligent life forms. (That being said – Risotto Rice is EXPENSIVE and a treat!) But, I kinda felt like Monti – assuming she has seen this show and KNOWS who Gordon is, should have at the very least had an idea of Risotto (and Beef Wellington). Same with idjut who put CRANBERRIES in his – gag! Disgusting.

    I love Josh. His facial expressions just crack me up. And Beautiful Rhino has wonderful one-liners. I would have liked to see Tali and his STUPID HAT leave or Helene and her “giggle, giggle, snort – I set things on fire and Gordy-Poo saves me!” head out. Both annoy the crud of out me. BUT – washing ingredients is basic food prep, clean the mushrooms before serving your judges dirt. Just saying.

  7. 7
    Dangerously Dangerously
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 3:08 pm

    Yeah, I don’t disagree that she should know better than to treat risotto like a pizza and pile on the toppings, but it’s not shocking that she’s never had risotto to me. Just like it wouldn’t have been shocking if Bubba hadn’t had it.

    My biggest issue with Helene is that she’s a freaking moron, and is basically just a giant bubbly idiot who’s going to get in the way of someone else getting eliminated. Her suckage will probably prevent FE from getting sent home, or she’ll single-handedly tank her team and cause one of my ponies to have to deal with a pressure test.

    Tali, though…just seems like an oxygen thief.

  8. 8
    KartofflMuter
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 7:20 pm

    Eric-It may surprise you to know there is a sizable Christian population in Goa and other parts of India and they have names like De Souza and De Silva. The have Portuguese and Indian mixed stock. So yes-,she was 99% likely to have been indian.

  9. 9
    JimbobJones Jimbob Jones
    Posted June 19, 2012 at 4:34 pm

    “I think they should train a bear to have exquisite culinary taste, and allow the bear to maul the contestant with the worst dish”

    They tried that… but he became TOO human, so they gave him dorky glasses and made him a judge.

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Human Verification: In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.