Second up is Sammy. She barely cooked the duck at all. It’s practically raw…not ideal for poultry… Teddy refers to her dish as “raw duck and the leaning tower of dryness.”
In the event she gets sent home, I thought I’d give everyone one more picture…
Bastage tells her it’s bad on so many levels that it’s hard to explain.
Messin’ with sasquatch is up last. His duck profiteroles are shitty.
The judges confer. Sasquatch gets sent…back to his station. He’s safe.
Next up is the battle of the delusional r-tards. Sammy tells us her dish looks 10x better than Flava Elevata’s, so she doesn’t understand how she’s in the position she’s in (HEEEY LAAAAADDDDDYYYYY!!!! You forgot to cook your duck!!!)
FE tells us that at least his was edible, even though it was presented like an asshole.
So Gordie starts in…the person leaving this competition is….
FE INTERRUPTS HIM!!! “I just want to say I’m not ready to go home yet and you were right the hero of the dish was really the duck and out of the two of us the duck was better executed by me and you guys can’t uh eat raw duck…”
Shut up, you stupid twit!
Man, that guy somehow spoke entirely without punctuation. That’s impressive. Sadly, you know just going by this, that FE won’t be sent home.
Yeah…he’s not. Goodbye, Sammy. We’re probably better off with one fewer self-righteous delusional crazy person on the show, right? It’s not like she was going to be cooking naked. I hope.
Love to see you leave, and love to watch you go. It’s a win-win!!
Beautiful Rhinoceros has something to say about Flava Elevata’s little soliloquy…
It was a fuckin’ bitch move.
That sums it up nicely, I think. My wish, after that whole speech, was for them to be like “lol nm, we’re not sending anyone home,” so he’d have to sleep with one eye open for fear of hot Sammy going all stabbity on his face. It’s ok, though, there are 16 other people who think he’s a twat, so this should be fun. He’s worse than Nazi Max, it’s amazing. Also, now that I think of it, it’d have been funny to see the douchey over-privileged New Yorker and the (was she) Indian (?) girl as rivals again this year.
So, instead of calling up the three best to taste, since we already wasted all that time with the three worst and have to fit this shit into a network TV timeslot…they just tell everyone that the winner of the first ever mystery box (this year) is Felix. She cries tears of joy and talks about validation.
Becky tells us she doesn’t think Felix deserved to win. What? Becky, you’ve lost your almost-Whit2.0 status. Don’t worry, though. You’re still my pony…unless you want me to be your pony. You’re welcome to ride me for just one carnival ticket.
So, right. Felix gets a huge advantage. The disembodied voice tells us that Felix is the first MasterChef contestant to enter the MasterChef pantry. She gushes about how it’s the most amazing pantry she’s ever seen in her whole life. So, she gets to choose one of three dishes for everyone to compete on. The theme of this challenge is “intimidating dishes.” Joe’s clearly harkens back to his fear of his mother, because it’s risotto. Teddy’s is just pretty fucking perplexing…New England Clam Chowder (is that the red or the white?). Gordies, well…
Gordie, why the suspense? We all know it’s beef wellington, and we all know that I’m not in a million years going to choose that dish.
So, predictably, she doesn’t choose the beef wellington. Sadly for her, it turns out that she has a free pass through this round…so she is probably pretty bummed that she didn’t pick the beef wellington now.
Gordie tells everyone that at least one of them will be eliminated. They get 45 minutes to make a stunning risotto, and off they run to the pantry. Daredevil takes a moment to make sure we know where her disadvantage lies this time: she can only cook with things she knows about, so she can’t really try to innovate…considering what I’ve seen on MasterChef in the last couple years, that actually seems like a huge advantage, since it seems like most of the eliminations in the first 3/4 of the season are because people try to get too cute.