MasterChef Recap: What Are You Afraid Of?

Recaps

By Dangerously | Monday, June 18, 2012 | 1:32 am | 9 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Featured, Master Chef, Recaps

FE and Tali decide they clearly have to take out the beautiful rhinoceros. 

Meanwhile, BR is chatting with this Dave Mack guy about what douchenozzles Tali and FE are. 

So, the judges have reached a decision. They come in and send everyone back to their stations…

There were two stand-out risottos. One was Frank the Tank!! YAY PONY!!! The other one, which was even better, was Beautiful Rhino!!! I think maybe I should’ve picked him as my pony, but oh well. So they’re the team captains. This means that either FE is on Frank’s team, or BR gets stuck with him because he’s forced to pick second…

So, now that THAT’s outta the way…it’s time to talk about the shitty dished…

The three worst belong to:

Dave Mack

Helene

Tali

Dave Mack is kind of an idiot. He says he did what the challenge asked for, so he feels safe. Dave, the challenge asks for you to not be a fucking moron and if you’re going to use mushroom, know how to prepare them. Helene says she’s nervous because she screwed up. Tali is the worst, and tells us that his food tasted great, and doesn’t understand why these world-renowned chefs don’t like his shitty food. 

Also, dude…the hat has to go. People can see that you’re a douchebag from space. 

So Dave Mack is called first. Gordie tells him that he’s not safe, and to stay. Helene is called up second, and sent back to her station by pure dumb luck of the other two sucking harder. Tali is called last, and is also not safe. No shit. Gordie tells him he can’t bamboozle them. They are unabamboozleable. Impervious to bamboozlement. Have +100 to bamboozle resistance. 

Based on the risotto, Dave Mack is sent home. Tali makes a weird groaning noise and probably just shat himself. So Beautiful Rhino’s buddy is gone, but FE’s is still here. There will be some two-on-one action here, let me tell you. Though, in a prison fight, my money is on the rhino. 

So, next week, the remaining 16 will square off in a team challenge, followed by a stunning pressure test. It’s so nice to be past the silly auditions and on to the real competition, isn’t it?

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5
Dangerously

Dangerously is a Southern boy misplaced in windy Chicago. He spends most of his time wandering around Chicago hoping for a random encounter with Graham Elliot...(I bet that guy gives the best hugs!).

9 Comments

  1. 1
    timgunnssister timgunnssister
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 7:05 am

    I fear for Monti. She’s so clueless. Sadly, she won’t last. And how can one chef say their dish is better than anothers without tasting it? Do they taste each others dishes? What happens to all the food at the end of the show? And why NOT aliens?

  2. 2
    Pikey
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 8:52 am

    I love it when contestants are clueless. The only thing that gets a person eliminated is bad food. So Tali and Elevator can conspire all they want! All that David Martinez has to do is cook better than them (which doesn’t look like it is too hard). So far my money is on Martinez for the win!

  3. 3
    SuburBint
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 9:33 am

    I can not stand that worried puppy look on Monti’s face during every. single. judgment. I won’t be sorry to see her go, but honestly, I feel like they’re giving her the underdog edit and I wouldn’t be surprised if she makes it pretty far in the competition.

  4. 4
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 10:02 am

    I’d guess that FE is insecure first, then he’s more classist than racist. Dave is clearly working class, and FE can’t fathom how someone so “common” could impress master chefs. Of course, Tali’s happy being his Renfield so he doesn’t get judged the same way. Also, Tali seems to suck as a chef.

    Plus, Dave seems to have a strong douchemeter and doesn’t like FE, either.

  5. 5
    Eric
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 12:42 pm

    Samantha’s last name is De Silva so not Indian..

    Also, all these Masterchef contestants have their own twitter! FE (and Tali) is a huge douchebag even on twitter!

  6. 6
    Mummy Butterfly
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 1:32 pm

    First – I would like to say that as someone who has been a single mother for a lot of my kids lives – I totally taught them how to make risotto. Now, this is mostly because at age 10 my oldest son said “If those idiots can make it – I can make it”, while watching Hell’s Kitchen. He also, at this age, learned how to cook scallops properly. If HK has taught my child anything it’s that reality TV does not “TEND” to attract intelligent life forms. (That being said – Risotto Rice is EXPENSIVE and a treat!) But, I kinda felt like Monti – assuming she has seen this show and KNOWS who Gordon is, should have at the very least had an idea of Risotto (and Beef Wellington). Same with idjut who put CRANBERRIES in his – gag! Disgusting.

    I love Josh. His facial expressions just crack me up. And Beautiful Rhino has wonderful one-liners. I would have liked to see Tali and his STUPID HAT leave or Helene and her “giggle, giggle, snort – I set things on fire and Gordy-Poo saves me!” head out. Both annoy the crud of out me. BUT – washing ingredients is basic food prep, clean the mushrooms before serving your judges dirt. Just saying.

  7. 7
    Dangerously Dangerously
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 3:08 pm

    Yeah, I don’t disagree that she should know better than to treat risotto like a pizza and pile on the toppings, but it’s not shocking that she’s never had risotto to me. Just like it wouldn’t have been shocking if Bubba hadn’t had it.

    My biggest issue with Helene is that she’s a freaking moron, and is basically just a giant bubbly idiot who’s going to get in the way of someone else getting eliminated. Her suckage will probably prevent FE from getting sent home, or she’ll single-handedly tank her team and cause one of my ponies to have to deal with a pressure test.

    Tali, though…just seems like an oxygen thief.

  8. 8
    KartofflMuter
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 7:20 pm

    Eric-It may surprise you to know there is a sizable Christian population in Goa and other parts of India and they have names like De Souza and De Silva. The have Portuguese and Indian mixed stock. So yes-,she was 99% likely to have been indian.

  9. 9
    JimbobJones Jimbob Jones
    Posted June 19, 2012 at 4:34 pm

    “I think they should train a bear to have exquisite culinary taste, and allow the bear to maul the contestant with the worst dish”

    They tried that… but he became TOO human, so they gave him dorky glasses and made him a judge.

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Human Verification: In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.