Minicap: Don’t Be Tardy for the Wedding

Another day, another briefing for our favorite baby, K.J.  With only two weeks left until the big day, momma is getting nervous while K.J. dreams of new ways to escape. 

Maybe the blimp will crash into our home and I can fly away and live with turtles.

Kim meets up for lunch with her Uncle John, the brother of her mother, Karen.  The topic of conversation is how annoying and controlling Karen can be.  Skunk Mom smells bad, too.

It was horrible.  She smelled so bad that they called us the Garbage Pail Kids.

In an emotional moment, Kim asks her uncle to walk her down the aisle along with her father.  John is honored and agrees.

With the important men in her life lined up to walk her down the aisle, Kim needs to find someone to officiate at their wedding.  Their top choice is a motivational speaker that is also a former football player.  Despite the fact that he’s never done that before, he agrees to it on the condition that he gets a prettier wig than Chanel’s.

Seriously?  I’ve always wanted to be a ginger!

Derek J. meets Kim to help her select the right porta-potty for her wedding.  There’s no way Kim is going to let any of her invited guests into her home to use her bathroom.  They walk around and check out a number of options.  Come on, say it, say it!  “I want Number Two!”

Kroy has gummed up the works by deciding he wants to write their vows.  Ariana is helping Kim with her vows while they wait for Jen, her Matron of Honor, to show up with lunch.  After Jen shows up, instead of helping write something original, she suggests the tried and true vajayjay and ass. 

 Since Skunk Mom was unable to deodorize in time to meet Shun for the first mother-of-the-bride dress fitting, they attempt it a second time.  To break up the tension between Kim and her mother, Karen brings a gift basket instead of an apology because nothing says, “I’m sorry,” like crackers and a sausage log.

I think this shitty basket is better than an apology.  What do you think, Joe?

Kim and her dad love the slutty mother-of-the-bride number, so Kim can check off another item from her to-do list.  Joe, Kim’s dad, shows off the picture from their wedding day that he carries in his wallet while camera Kim sickens us with the fact that they “still get it on.”  

Did you just puke in your mouth?  But they do still get it on.

The subject of Karen’s text that she would be sick on Kim’s wedding day gets rehashed AGAIN.  Karen makes it clear that Kim better get over it and break open the smoked cheddar wheel.

Next week, Kim is planning a special surprise for Kroy to add to the walls of shame and some Matron of Honor drama is brewing.

The full Recap will be posted in the next couple of days, but in the meantime, to check out the Recap of last week’s episode, click here.

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BSL