By PennyDreadful | Tuesday, June 12, 2012 | 8:31 am | 18 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Eden's World, Recaps

There she is, your ideal.

Howdy, Gasmii!  We’re finally at the finale of what is hopefully the first and only season of this series.

Right here, I want to thank everyone who’s been commenting.  It’s been a ton of fun to read all your comments.  Thanks to kthxbai who recommended the new Lady Colin Campbell book – I downloaded it to my Kindle and am really enjoying it!  The Royals – Providing Entertainment Since 1066.

On to our ep, which was pretty light on content compared to previous eps.  We met Rosie, a gal who is overly enthusiastic needs to focus really needs to lay off the sugar coke.  Shparkle decides to give Rosie Eden’s new song to sing in her (Rosie’s) pageant, which was emceed by a guy we’ve seen on T&T.  And thus we come, as Bucky Katt from Get Fuzzy would say, “full oval”.

You know, I realize I know a ton about pageants (and from the comments, everyone who’s reading this does, too).  A bunch of us live tweet during T&T, and in addition to the snark we’re totally commenting on things like socks! and flippers! and how their hair could be better! ’cause we’re just like judges.  I’m not sure if that’s good or bad . . . Pageants – the (artificial) fabric of our lives.

Getting back to the ep – In other developments, Shparkle and Heather interview a new publicist, and Eden premieres her new clothing line, which from the looks of it appeals to a rather small group of people – basically, Shparkle and Eden.

Our drama this week comes from “the talk” which Shparkle and Andrew have in a pizza parlor.  Cause Shparkle, she’s Pure Klass.  Nothing is more conducive to a quiet personal convo than a pizza parlor.  However, this one’s sign said “Pizza, Pasta and Wine“, so we can see why it would appeal to Shparkle.

Portrait of a man who’s about to have his heart broken.  And not get any pizza.

Andrew teaches us the true meaning of sacrifice, and we end the ep with a nostaligic montage of past eps, as Shparkle recounts Eden’s triumphs abject failures.

Much more in the full recap!  Also, I watched the Lisa Ling show Sparkle Baby for you, Gasmii.  I’ll have Shparkle’s choicest quotes from the program.  Plus, my new recapping assignment!

Come on back in a few days and check it all out!

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Named for lurid serialized stories (so like today's reality TV) that sold for a penny a copy in Victorian Britain, former National Spelling Bee finalist and multiple Science Fair award winner PennyDreadful has been writing for TVGasm since 2011, and cites MST3K as inspiration.

Follow PennyDreadful on Twitter at @kcvinweho.

 

18 Comments

  1. 1
    Gink
    Posted June 12, 2012 at 9:01 am

    Andrew was the most likeable of an unlikeable bunch, so I kept hoping he’d get smart and jump ship. Did he really think he could make something of Eden? Or maybe they just couldn’t get their heads out of their Xsses and refused to listen to his advince about lessons and things. How Mickie thinks the RCA thing was a highlight is beyond me.

    I liked Rosie in an odd way, (a happy kid with a great, bubbly personality if nothing else–nothing fake about her) and though no real big talent herself, sings a little better than Eden.

    Wonder what happened to the clothing line. I googled it but didn’t come with anything much besides a blogger recounting getting dragged into the fashion show and chatting with Micki and having an ‘intellectual’ mono-syllabic convo with Eden that was quite amusing.

  2. 2
    gun kata
    Posted June 12, 2012 at 9:07 am

    FIRE HEATHER, Shparkle
    And cutabitch.

  3. 3
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted June 12, 2012 at 9:12 am

    Honestly, PennyD, the sacrifices you make. For us, your loco, I mean loyal, fans. (can’t do strikeouts).

    Can’t wait for the fullcap. Schparkle is just soooo generous. Obvs the kid can’t sing any better than Eden or she wouldn’t have taken the risk.

    Mother asked me who this Edna we’ve been writing about is.

  4. 4
    Closet fan
    Posted June 12, 2012 at 10:20 am

    Please share the twitter information because that sounds like fun! I loved the part of the montage when Mickie said her favorite moment was at A & M Records. Even now (probably just a couple weeks in Logo time) she still thinks that they LIKED Eden! THank you for all of the funny recaps! Btw, I read on the Dance Moms recap that Andrew is now Victor’s “manager”. It’s a Small Crazy World!

  5. 5
    gun kata
    Posted June 12, 2012 at 10:41 am

    Snowshoecat, Shparkle would have been a better mother if she had used the name Edna.
    Edna Alexandra Wood vs. Eden Alexxa (two xes are not a typo) Wood

  6. 6
    Gilty Plezzur
    Posted June 12, 2012 at 11:30 am

    I’d never really gotten an eyeful of Heather’s complete body until last night (either that or I’d blacked out previous sightings), but Good Gawd, that woman’s got a massive caboose! Caution: Wide Load!

  7. 7
    merry
    Posted June 12, 2012 at 12:03 pm

    “…and Shparkle finally fires Andrew.” Lucky Andrew.

  8. 8
    Laura Gill Laura Gill
    Posted June 12, 2012 at 12:45 pm

    The link for the blogger’s recap of the Fashion Week show is: here.

    Mickie seriously thinks the young Hollywood set would wear this on the red carpet?

  9. 9
    gun kata
    Posted June 12, 2012 at 3:42 pm

    Mickie is out of her freaking mind even more than I thought. Those dresses. Lord!

    And she fires Andrew yet keeps Heather and cutabitch. Hasn’t Andrew been the only one to line anything up for her this entire show?

  10. 10
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted June 12, 2012 at 4:17 pm

    I wanna see Mickie selling her shit on QVC. I saw that Quacker Factory lady died not too long ago, so maybe Mickie can take her slot, and while she’s there Chaz Dean can do Eden’s hair just to piss off Cutabitch.

  11. 11
    Bluedog
    Posted June 13, 2012 at 3:57 am

    Thank you Laura for the link. Eden’s interview was so funny. Obviously mumma forgot to teach her her lines for that. Sitting on Marc Jacobs knee (whom is PROBABLY ok) – is that a wise thing to let her little girl do? Being up close to men who are strangers. Don’t you people teach your kids about stranger danger? Kids over here learn it from kindergarden.
    Sorry to get on my soapbox but have encountered a few too many peodos from being involved with the entertainment business and after the revolting T&T shaving episode it seems that her mother thinks some things are OK.

  12. 12
    gun kata
    Posted June 13, 2012 at 4:06 am

    Bluedog, people here teach their children many useful things that Mickie doesn’t appear to have taught Eden.

  13. 13
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted June 13, 2012 at 5:05 am

    Gunny, your response to BlueD was spot on. Apparently the NEA rating for Arkansas soared when Schparkle left “teachin’” to devote herself to Eden’s career.

  14. 14
    gun kata
    Posted June 13, 2012 at 5:45 am

    Snowshoecat, I know! I don’t know anything about the Arkansas school system. But, I cannot imagine that Mickie is a good example of one of their teachers. For one thing, everyone I have ever met from there could read. I have heard she taught drama or some such thing… maybe she is not a real teacher? But, just worked at the school? I mean, Dina Lohan told everyone she was a Rockette and she was not.

  15. 15
    Dear Crabby
    Posted June 13, 2012 at 10:06 am

    @Closet Fan, totally with you on the montage – it made it sound like Eden actually was SUCCESSFUL at all of those things when in reality, she was just there and nothing actually happened with them (A&M, TV show, Broadway, etc.). Just because you audition near Broadway doesn’t mean you actually have Broadway experience…These people are totally DELUSIONA!

    I was also surprised at Andrew crying and carrying on about how Mickie ruined his career and life. I mean, I know he’s 23 and clearly a crybaby, but pull it together, dude…I realize she’s your only client and you need to make rent, but honestly, were you making any money with her? Yikes!

    Can’t wait for the full recap and unlike PennyD, I AM hoping for another season..,between Eden and Honey Boo-Boo getting her own show, we might actually see a black hole develop in front of our eyes. Reality TV never stops giving.

  16. 16
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted June 13, 2012 at 10:17 am

    @PennyDreadful I’m so glad you got ahold of it. It’s ideal summer Jubilee reading. I bet all the fuckwaffles that were mean to her are sorry now.

    She’s got a real interesting story herself. She was born with a gender disorder birth defect. But it was a long time ago when even doctors were butt ignorant. They told her parents to just raise her as a boy?!? As soon as she was grown, she got it fixed. But bigoted fuckwaffles.. well you can google her.

    I wonder who Shparkle will get to replace Andrew! Or maybe she’ll decide to do it the Kris Jenner way and do it herself.

    Since we’ve seen how she’s learned all about the business side of the entertainment world now.

    @Gilty Plezzur I wonder if Phaedra from Real Housewives of Atlanta would call it. I don’t think it’d qualify as a donkey booty. Maybe it’s more of a manatee booty.

    I don’t have a Twitter but please click my click my Facebook headand tell it you’re my friend. Because I can’t figure out which people on there are from here.

  17. 17
    Red_Rabbit
    Posted June 14, 2012 at 12:07 am

    Does the new publicist they interviewed know she is supposed to dump all of her clients except Eden? I wonder when Mickie is going to throw that tantrum again.

    Andrew, the only one with occasional flashes of being right is still an unprofessional idiot.

    That was a bizarro world montage. Is Mickie even aware that the record company and the “Broadway” people all looked like they were smelling a dirty diaper when they were watching Eden show off her “talent” or dealing with any of the E-team?

    Fashion week! Eden shows off the southern whore clothing line she, based on the linked interview above, has only the dimmest awareness of and doesn’t seem to care about.

    I really hope this is the last season of this mess and that Honey Boo Boo becomes a hit.

  18. 18
    April
    Posted June 14, 2012 at 7:19 pm

    Also it was a rip that Rosie won Talent Supreme. I am sure there were other kids that had better talents. I hate when singers always win because people just like singers more. I always feel like they do better in talent contests than dancers or other acts boo.

    I am pretty sure Eden was the girl helping the little girl in the magic act,

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