With three new housewives replacing Alex, Jill, Kelly, and Cindy, the drama promises to be fresh and sparkly clean. The premiere opens with LuAnn getting together for coffee with one of the new housewives, Aviva Drescher. While discussing their lives, they discover that they both speak French fluently. Get ready for subtitles this season as LuAnn is delighted that they can have their very own “secret” language. Ooh la la, merde! Aviva suspects that her ex-husband “knows” some of the other ladies quite well, so don’t be surprised to hear an occasional “Ima hurt that fuckerdoodle” in French.
The final straw was when he slept with the last woman on the face of the earth.
Sonja is throwing a party and is rushing to get ready before her guests arrive. This will be the first opportunity for all of this season’s housewives to get together under one roof. LuAnn and Aviva are the first to arrive, followed by Heather Thomson and Carole Radziwill. I was thinking that the worst was still to come since Ramona Grigio hadn’t arrived yet, but then the ladies start talking about going to certain parts of town to get their frisk on. Thankfully, Ramona–the human walking, talking cold shower–shows up and puts the kabosh on the frisky talk. LuAnn has been waiting months for an apology from Ramona, so she goes for it. If I have to watch Ramona another season, at least it can be a season filled with a drunk Ramona and an angry Countess going at it like a naked zombie and a vagrant.
Carole will be interviewing celebrities and having excerpts of her latest book featured in Glamour. Heather has her own line of shape wear called Yummie Tummie. Ramona stops by Heather’s office to ask her what she has against the letter “y” but gets distracted while one-upping Heather with horrible birthing stories.
Aviva and Sonja meet up for pedicures. Aviva brings along an orange bag which contains an extra prosthetic leg. Aviva is an amputee as a result of a farming accident that happened when she was a child. She uses different legs for flats and heels. It is a tragic story and she bravely and openly discusses being an amputee. Later, Heather meets up with Ramona and Sonja for drinks. Sonja is happily talking about the logo of her toaster oven cookbook when, out of the blue, Heather mentions that her father died the previous week and proceeds to toast to him, followed by a toast to a diabetic, blind family member. These ladies toast to just about everything, including toast.
Heather, I’m running away. You’ve toasted to death, blindness, bedbugs, bread mold, used Band-Aids, and now to rusty scissors.
Ramona and Mario are hosting a dinner at their Hamptons home. Sonja is staying with them and is helping by making appetizers. Aviva and Reid bring Ramonster’s favorite pies and Heather shows up needing a Scotch–badly. The poorly stocked bar has no Scotch, so Heather asks for Tequila and everyone joins in for a shot or two or three. What looks like a glass full of water in Heather’s hand is actually Tequila. Girlfriend is getting toasty. I never thought I’d see a scene where Ramona looked like the sober one.
Is that Sonja’s pigs in a blanket? She needs to get moving with that cookbook.
Dinner is served. Conversation turns to Aviva meeting her husband while down on her knees and Ramona chastising Sonja that her husband isn’t her husband any longer. The next day, LuAnn’s daughter, Victoria, is holding an art show in the garage which has become her studio. Victoria’s artwork has a dark edge to it, but she is very talented. Sonja did not attend the showing, which leads LuAnn to feel that her beef with Ramona is now extending to Sonja, as well. And another name is added to the apology list.
Carole missed the Hamptons events, so once the ladies are back in town, she invites LuAnn, Heather, and Aviva to get together for pigs in a blanket. LuAnn tells Carole and Aviva about a phone call she received from Ramona threatening to tell people that an underage girl passed out from alcohol at a party for LuAnn’s son. LuAnn is justifiably livid and will not tolerate Ramonster bringing her kids into their bad pinot-infused blood.
This season looks full of travel, wine, phobias, bitching, bidets, blackmailing, and back-stabbing.
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70 Comments
Nice little summary, can’t wait for the full cap! Also I lol’d a bit at “farming accident”. I can’t think of a better description but it makes it sound like she was harvesting corn at 6 years old.
I was laughing so much at how identical Heather and Ramona are. Shows the insufferability of that personality that they hated each other instantly.
Also I’d love to hear a little more on Ramona’s alleged blackmail. She is not above doing that but Luann is also pretty loose with truth and interpretation a lot. I got the feeling that dive bomb into lunch to drop her accusation amongst the new girls was precisely to oust Ramona and get everyone on her team at the outset. And I will regret asking for more bc it is probably The Fight that lasts all season. This housewife franchise is unique (I think) in their scheming to get one or another member less film time and kicked off by forming alliances and agreeing to skip events or face time. I see LuAnn as the last of the schemers (Jill being the main one) trying this tactic again.
Mrs.Mia — yes! There’s so much behind-the-scenes string-pulling with the New York housewives that I think I’ll just skip the season and watch the Reunion.
PHEW! So glad this is up so I can UN-Freaking-LOAD on these whores. Nothing like a Gasm comment section to get the frustrations on.
Ok, where to begin….ok CUNTESS LUMANN! UGH! WTF is she still doing here? She is so fake & she can no longer hide her true personality with delusions of grandeur and elegance! I guess it’s good manners to go up and demand an apology for someone telling you the truth months ago. Did she forget what happened on the reunion? She stated her case then, told her point of view, and asked Ramona for an apology then. To which, Ramona told her to go fuck herself because it was true and she wasn’t apologizing. What more did she want? Did she think shit had changed?
And that Yummie Tummie Dummie (great name Gypsy
)…her intentions are very transparent as well. She’s coming out the gate hating Ramona and bashing her behind her back for some inexplicable reason. She had absolutely no basis for her Ramona hate yet because by Ramona standards, she was being very welcoming to her. Like I said elsewhere, give her time! Ramona will do something to genuinely insult you, your intelligence, your business, or even your very existence REAL SOON, so there’s no reason to manufacture drama where there is none yet. Trust me, it’s coming! That nutbag will lodge all kind of grenades at you so be patient & bitch about her when she actually gives you a reason to do so! Ugh..HATE already! What a two faced piece of work she is.
Aviva seems really nice & I love her openness about her tragedy at such a young age. She seems really genuine but she is struggling with her patience with Ramona already lol. At least she’s giving her a chance unlike Heather, even if it is only a small chance. I see LuMann’s manipulations as the catalyst for her beef with Sonya and Ramona because so far she seemed ok with them. I’m sure the Cuntess will nip that in the bud real soon with more lies about their ‘attacks’ on her and her kids.
Sonya, never change. I hope things in her life start to fall together better for her because she’s just a fun gal who wants to live well while flying by the seat of her pants.
I think Carole will be my dark horse! I loved her during the short time she was on the screen. From her quips about mothers’ conversations about their kids, people depressing her about her book while she was trying to show off her body in some hot pants and a skanky top, her awareness that interviewing the Kardashians isn’t a highlight for a serious journalist to the fact that she seems to see that lunch convo with LuMann for what it was, a crock of shit, made me like her all the more. I think she’ll be our greek chorus of the season because she’s actually funny!
Back to the Cuntess, like I said before, I don’t buy for a hot sec that b.s ‘threat’ she was talking about. Seriously? Ramona ‘blackmailing’ her because she asked for an apology? Ridic. But beyond that, I think it’s disgusting that she’s saying that Ramona was attacking her kids when that was never the case. She wasn’t attacking her kids, she was attacking LuMann’s mothering skills. There is a BIG difference! I think she outed that story to make it look better than what it was because she was afraid Ramona really did know about it and would spill the beans. Ramona spies on her? Really? Is she delusional? Ramona has her own crazy ass to deal with. Why would she stalk Lu?
Instead of using it as a let’s blame Ramona for ‘attacking her kids’ moment, can we really talk about that incident for what it was and not what LuMann wants us to believe? As I said elsewhere… That b.s she told about Ramona was just that..B.S! Can you actually see Ramona threatening her for asking for an apology? Has she MET Ramona? Everyone asks her crazy ass for apologizes…DAILY lol. That’s nothing to ‘blackmail’ someone over. And calling out your parenting skills isn’t talking about your kids assface. It’s talking about your irresponsible ass. Who throws a party for a young, teenaged boy & NOT BE THERE? Seriously? Do all ‘elegant’ people throw parties they don’t attend for their kids & have to be called to clean up the mess of a girl who may have alcohol poisoning? Is that how the ‘klassy’ people live? And BULL..FUCKING..SHIT that girl ‘showed up like that’. She REALLY needs to get a handle on her kids before something serious happens. I hope that she also told them that if something like that ever happened again to call an AMBULANCE first because that girl could have DIED while they waited on her to jump from under Jacques & get to the Hamptons to cover up the situation. Who does that? I can see a bunch of drunk teenagers panicking & not knowing what to do so they wouldn’t get in trouble, but why in the hell didn’t she tell them to call 911 immediately instead of waiting for her to come do it? Something is NOT right in that household & I hope Ramona REALLY tells all!
Unless they have Ramona wearing sunglasses from here on out I am sticking with the recaps only. It is bad enough to listen to her voice but I swear Crazy Eyes eyes have gotten even crazier.
Every time Aviva told her farm story it reminded me of a Seinfeld episode that revolves around a mysterious tractor story.
Ok so wth happened at Luann’s house? Does anyone have the real story? Was there some sort of rave there while Luanne was off with Pepe le pew? Did that girl do too many jello shots? I don’t believe Luanne’s story for one second! That’s for sure… and what’s Heather’s deal? Someone needs to pull that ugly red dress over her head and throw her ass in the pool! Maybe she’ll finally STHU … I doubt it.
1. Why is it necessary to tell everyone you have a fake leg? I mean if we are going to the beach or getting pedicures then please let me know but it’s not something you have to tell me during our first conversation. I am not trying to get in your pants.
2. Luann you can’t have a party with children and one gets so drunk that they are not responding and you not hear about it. I think what happened was Ramona called Luann to tell her not to beg her for an apology about the parenting aspect b/c she wasn’t going to do it, let bygones be bygones and she felt she was right based on you having a child almost die at a party for your son.
3. French is not a secret language. Many people took it in high school and there’s a quite a few countries that speak it.
Not gonna lie, the fake leg pulling out gave me the heebie jeebies. Pegleg Nanny needs to keep that crap to herself.
LOL @ClosetFan, yes! Even funnier
@Classydrunk #3 – LOL! I think Luann shat her riding breeches over having a reason to show off her french. She meant to have a secret language in front of the girls but I love how Aviva said “um, your kids speak it too”. Reminds me of when they were in Morocco and for some reason Kelly ended up doing the translating for the fortune teller because Luann french was too rusty. Do I remember that right?
It will be interesting to hear Ramona’s side of the blackmail threat. I’m going to be laughing and thinking of Seinfeld every time I see Aviva from now on–it’s so accurate!
I agree with you, Classy Drunk, about her mentioning the leg constantly, especially considering her saying that she gets tired of everyone telling her about a cousin or uncle with a prosthetic leg.
I’m loving Carole, so far. I don’t know why, but she seems high off of her ass, and I find that rather endearing.
@Mrs Mia – Luann was unable to continue to translate because she didn’t want to have to tell Ramona that the fortune teller said there was another woman in Mario’s life.
BeLowSeaLevel…gread minds on the one upping! Those two will go at it all season no doubt. I have to admit I was pissed this was a 90 minute episode.
I told Mr. Gypsy I felt like I was completing a homework assisgnment so I could stay relevant here on the gasm. It was so Haaaaaaaaaaard, LMAO!
He just basically screamed in horror like we were on the Tower of Terror the whole time.
I will say this, poor Mario. Last man standing.
Carole reminds me of my most favorite Housewife from DC – Linda. Established, witty, quirky, centered and just the right amount of snottiness and snark. She seems like she kind of sees the absurdity going on between the women (LuAnn and Ramona mostly) and knows that she is FAR, FAR above any of their shenanigans. Those two are desperately clamoring up the New York social ladder that Carole is already firmly perched upon.
For the past umpteen seasons I’ve never really been bothered by Ramona – even though she’s completely nuts at times, she seemed pretty genuine when compared to Jill. I think without Jill there this season to counter Ramona’s delusion and crazy, she’s going to go downhill QUICK.
Oh Luann. Desperate times call for desperate measures DAH-ling. You knew your head was on the chopping block when you were aligned with Jill and now you’ve got to rally new troops to take down Ramona who, in your mind, was responsible for the demise of your fearless leader. She’s hidden behind Jill for all these years and now I have a feeling she’ll be showing her true colors this season.
As for Heather? She’s just a younger version of Ramona with a terrible highlighting job. Just the two of them squawking at each other on the television screen made me reach for a Xanax and a 1/5 of vodka.
Tower of Terror! hahaha! I actually caught myself saying out loud, “Oh shit, this is 90 minutes long?”
My friend and I already started called Aviva ‘Peg Leg’ even though we like her the best of the bunch of newbies. The first episode is so forced trying to ‘introduce’ these new ladies.
I cannot stand Ramona. She’s just so rude and obnoxious. her and Heather seem to be cut from the same cloth so it will be interesting to watch the drama unfold between them.
Romo, I think your wish that someone shut up Heather might get granted. She seems to be on a collision course with Ramona…or is Ramona on a collision course with everyone except Sonja?
Omg, I forgot to mention Luann demanding an apology that she’s been waiting how long to receive? First of all, who does that besides Melissa Gorga?! Shit… if you have to constantly demand/beg/stew over an apology then guess what sister? You didn’t deserve one to begin with, sheesh! Didn’t Luann write some rule book on how to act? Was telling people they must say they’re sorry and not giving them a choice in the matter proper ettiquette? Was Marlo reading her book this whole time cuz…
Mario has turned into a Housewife wannabe. He needs to go away!
Mario is the new Simon.
I’m going to repost this tidbit because I know some people usually skip over the long comments & mind was a rumbling mess. But I REALLY WANT FEEDBACK ON THIS! Why is no one talking about the party for NOEL?
Instead of using it as a let’s blame Ramona for ‘attacking her kids’ moment, can we really talk about that incident for what it was and not what LuMann wants us to believe? As I said elsewhere… That b.s she told about Ramona was just that..B.S! Can you actually see Ramona threatening her for asking for an apology? Has she MET Ramona? Everyone asks her crazy ass for apologizes…DAILY lol. That’s nothing to ‘blackmail’ someone over. And calling out your parenting skills isn’t talking about your kids assface. It’s talking about your irresponsible ass. Who throws a party for a young, teenaged boy & NOT BE THERE? Seriously? Do all ‘elegant’ people throw parties they don’t attend for their kids & have to be called to clean up the mess of a girl who may have alcohol poisoning? Is that how the ‘klassy’ people live? And BULL..FUCKING..SHIT that girl ‘showed up like that’. She REALLY needs to get a handle on her kids before something serious happens. I hope that she also told them that if something like that ever happened again to call an AMBULANCE first because that girl could have DIED while they waited on her to jump from under Jacques & get to the Hamptons to cover up the situation. Who does that? I can see a bunch of drunk teenagers panicking & not knowing what to do so they wouldn’t get in trouble, but why in the hell didn’t she tell them to call 911 immediately instead of waiting for her to come do it? Something is NOT right in that household & I hope Ramona REALLY tells all!
She brought up the incident at the party and tried to gloss over it to diffuse the situation in case Ramona spills the beans, but that is a SERIOUS issue. What if the girl with probable alcohol poisoning died while her drunk teenagers waited for her to come sweep it under the rug instead of calling an ambulance? That’s not sitting well with me & I hope more details will come out about it.
Mario is the new Slade. lol
And I better not have to sit through another 90 minute episode of these hookers again this season or I will just be here for the recaps.
Mr. Gypsy (is new to the my life and, the RHONY game) just kept screaming OMG her EYES! OMG, why do these women look like that? Did they do it on purpose? OMG when is this over?
It was worth the price of admission to hear him screaming in holy terror. It made the 90 minutes bearable for sure!
Thanks for the minicap!
I read and agreed with all of your comment, fancyface. I promise to include all of the details in the full recaps in the future since only LuAnn’s brief driveby side of the story has been shown so far.
Hate Ramona…..I hope Aviva hits her with one of her fake legs!
Get her Cuntess!!!!!!
She was blowing lines with Jacques and was too busy to look after her own kids. we’ve all heard the stories about the Cuntess and her “hobbies”. Lord help us if she does have another baby!
It sounds as if Gypsy has the skinny… dang, I didn’t know alls that was going on! :0
Oh, yes…the NY pretension train is taking off!!
Thanks for the minicap. This is gonna a be an interesting season. AND NO FUCKING KELLY RUNNING HER BONY ASS IN THE STREET!! YAY!!
Sorry, just hated that dumb bitch!
@Shantigal – amen, sistah! Sario (my new name for him) was in top form yesterday. Playing for the camera with Ramona, inserting himself into every situation. I like my husbands a little less like a bitchy girlfriend, okay?
Ramona v Luann – Jaysus Christo – is this going to be all damn season? Apology ain’t coming your way, Countess. Luann will never stop inhaling her own farts, crazy eyes. Call it a day, ya two menopausal heiffas. And I am beyond fucking tired of Ramona acting as if her obnoxious rudeness is some sort of badge of honor.
I did enjoy the three additions – especially their reactions to Luann’s dramatic telling of the terrible texts (“I mean, my dears, you simply do not do that on an Iphone! Quel manners!”) Listening, but not buying it all.
“Where’s the cute bartender?” And with that, Sonja is back.
I don’t know when a prostetic leg should make an appearance, but I think during a pedicure session would make sense.
So, we going to meet this master of the bone that got into Luann’s and Sonja’s lady bits?
She probably thought she was being all European letting the kids drink. Which would be the case if adults had been there. And she couldn’t even pull that off. Luann is tres hypocritical about her relationship with her kids acting like she’s so close to them that she doesn’t really have to parent them in the normal, bourgeois, American way. Did she really think she could spend all that time alone with Jacques and not have the kids start to abuse her house in her absence? Was she never a teenager? Did she think that because they go to posh boarding schools (or went to them or something not clearly explained) that they would just acquire adult sophistication by osmosis and never screw up?
Oh yeah and young waiters…She gets around…also did you pick up on that rasp? She hauls butts like a sunovabetch too.
CUNTESS you are the BIGGEST ASSHOLE!
Can someone fill me in on why they changed cast mates? Or direct me to a site with the inside scoop? I missed most of last season and only caught up recently. I didn’t realize there was so much scheming going on behind the scenes. Any info is appreciated!
Maryedith, the Cuntess is a vampire, and I’d dare say she’s close to 1500 years old. It explains a lot, THINK ABOUT IT!!!!!! Muahahahahahahahahahaa…
Her daughter is smoking the sticky and taking out her angst on her dark drawings, clearly.
@Monica, the cast change was a surprise that was announced a few months ago without explanation.
I got home to watch it… the DVR info said it was 90 minutes and i just couldn’t do it.. I’ll try again today but i don’t think ill be able to summon enough interest to watch it….
Oh, I do so hope it will be open season on the Cuntess now that Shill is gone. I hate her so very much and always thought she was slimier than Shill, just better at hiding it. I have to say, though, that I will happily start smoking her brand because she looks damn good for a pack-a-dayer which she must be with that rasp. Damn her! Damn her Native American genes and the legs and shoulders she inherited! Why must the bad sleep well?
Thanks BelowSeaLevel for the feedback. I was disgusted by the whole ‘let’s not call for help for the girl who may be dying until mom gets here’ b.s & didn’t get why no one was really picking up on that.
@Gypsy….I forgot that little nugget. When Victoria was talking I did a double take and thought it must be Noel instead of her, but no, the deep voice was hers! She’s always had a lower bravado in her voice, but she never sounded like a 60 yr old man who’s been smoking all his life. The ciggies definitely explains that!
Please tell me I’m not the only one who saw an uncanny resemblance between Ms. Yummie Tummie and Deena from Jersey Shore.
I agree with you. I normally try to avoid personal stuff, but just know I get where you’re coming from. A dear friend’s 15 y/o died and also another friend’s child died during his first semester at college. I wish there was more from last night, but that scene was a drive-by, unfortunately.
Ciggies wouldn’t have that much of an effect on a teenager’s voice — it would take twenty years at least. Victoria’s voice has always been raspy. Being sick, staying up all night, or crying could make it worse.
OMFG flove that Lady SC. YTDUMMIE DEENA.
The Cuntess likely smokes Pall Mall’s with no filter.
I am head of the Cuntess fan club today aren’t I? Jeez, so much hate it’s even surprising me!
Re: the Ramona and Luann debacle from last season, I’m not sure if it was discussed on the show, but Ramona tweeted a video of Luann’s daughter smoking weed and dropping the n-word with her friends. The video went viral and resulted in Victoria being kicked out of school. This, to me, is taking things a bit too far. If you want to say Luann is a bad mom, say it. But to tweet a video of a minor is more detrimental to the child than it is the parent. And it is extremely vicious to do so. Why embarrass a child all over Twitter just because you don’t like her mother? I can’t respect Ramona for that….sorry.
With that said, I haven’t watched last night’s ep yet, so can’t really comment except to say that underage drinking is dangerous and widespread. Snooki’s friend died in HS after drinking at her house and attempting to drive home drunk. I don’t think it should be glossed over but I do believe that Luann’s children aren’t the only kids that experimented with pot and alcohol while in high school. The only reason Avery doesn’t touch the stuff is because she sees how much of a lush her mother is and would rather abstain than toddle around like a bug-eyed tasmanian devil. Good call, Avery.
I love how these cunts all of a sudden develop shared morals: OMG she went after your chiiiiiiiildren!!!!! [clutch pearls in horror] You don’t go after a woman’s chiiiiiiildren! Children are OFF THE TABLE.
It’s fine to sell The New York Post a list of names of dudes who blew their load all over Sonja’s face, etc., but you say something about the chiiiiiildren….
Besides, I don’t really see Ramoaner as the extortion type. I mean, first, she’d have to remember that she was mad at one of the other cunts, then she’d have to sift through the random thoughts pinballing around in her pickled brain and figure out what the original–probably perceived–slight was, and then figure out what how to hit back. Honestly, wouldn’t that all be well beyond her capability? She and Vicki from RHOC are one psychic break away from being roommates at the Restful Valley Retreat for Mental Health.
How funny is this? I just went to google to see what I could find out about the party and the ambulance, etc. My second link I chose? Brought me right here.
Fancyface I am guessing the parents of that girl have more money than god and bravo put together, thus why the hush hush how dare you Ramona. There is zero mention of it on line that I can find.
I agree that Carole is my new fave (not that it was a close race). You guys should read her blog over at bravo, I think she might be more witty and dry than Bethenny was on the show. She seems to see this show as the spectacle that it is and is not taking the other women too seriously (or herself for that matter). More of her please!
@Mimo – thanks for the clarification, there is too much to go after Luann about, I don’t want to make things up!
@Justme – good call, she even looks like Linda to me a little!
Oh man, the Bitches are Back.
Sonya is awesome as always. Please don’t change girl because you are my favorite now and if you become a huge crazy beotch I might have to stop watching (yeah right, I wont)
Ramona is becoming the new Joe Guidice….saying whatever the hell she wants while getting completely blotto on wine all day.
Countess’ “Drive By Shit Talking” was werid. Maybe Ramona was indeed “blackmailing” her, maybe she wasnt, but I took it more as Louanne doing some recon mission, swooping in with the story out of nowwhere to make sure the new girls hate Ramoner right away, so they’d HAVE to like the Countess. Bitch please. And as for Noel’s rave, hello! Something tells me much, much more is going on there. And Victoria probably smokes so much weed, she’s got that stoner vibe going on.
The new girls….ehh. Avivia is pretty cool. I just keep imagining her little 6 year old fake leg, how tiny it must have been. The Kennedy Widow seems really nice too. I definatley sympathize with her about listening to women talk about their kids. The other new girl is just werid to me “yeah yeah yeah yeah”
I was always a team Ramona, Alex and Sonja viewer – I would say team blonde but my love of Bethenny precludes that. With that being said – I MISSED JILL AND KELLY. I found the new girls so boring. I’m debating whether to watch or let the series go…
I’m SO glad Kelly is Gone!!! i wanted her out after she was introduced, the manner in which she spoke down to Bethany. Carole seems like the perfect new cast mate, compared to Cindy shes a better Beth Replacement to me just Wish she had her bottom teeth fixed :/
anywho Aviva seems really cool and Heather is so annoying i’m sorry i don’t know if i can handle two Rommona personalities. WHY didn’t they show these womens homes or family? LAME,
Sonja is my favorite forever! im on team Rommona over LuMan lmao but her eyes have gotten crazier O_O
OMG! Money definitely can’t buy you tact. My mouth fell open with disbelief at the cuntess’s first “talking head” comment of the night.
I don’t remember her exact words but basically she said that she found Aviva to be so sophisticated and classy and elegant that it’s hard to believe she’s handicapped!
Talk about snotty arrogance. Merde indeed!
the one new lady is she deena from jersey shore’s mother?
BSL, congrats on the new assignment! Oh, my, however does one make pigs in the blanket? Think I got that recipe in Brownies.
Thank you, CJ! I’m quite excited! I hope to see you frequently! I’m stumped by those pigs in a blanket. How did she do it? I guess we’ll have to wait for the cookbook! haha! xoxo!
For anyone not familiar with BSL, catch her recaps of Don’t Be Tardy For The Wedding. They are hilarious, especially her picture captions.
I didn’t seem to think Heather was as bad as everyone else does. She was right about Ramona one-upping her when she came up to H’s office to talk about business. Ramona took over that convo and told of the 4 foot long forceps they used to extract Avery and totally disregarded Heather’s sad baby story. Ramoaner does that all the time. I think Heather handled it very tactfully and said, “Oh wow. I didn’t know that. Thanks for sharing.” Romona, OTOH, would have tried to one-up the one-upper!
Then out at the Hamptons Marreeoo was pretty rude when he told H that she interrupted and wouldn’t let him finish a sentence. Of course, Romoaner jumps in and says, ‘Oh yeah, I meant to tell you that you do that. ” Who the freak says that? Of course, Heather is going to defend herself. But first…she said, “Oh, do I? That’s for letting me know. I’ll try to watch that.” A LOT of people *coughRomonacough* would have “No I don’t! You’re just saying that!” I thought she handled it well and then, of course, all verbal heck broke loose and every one started talking over each other. That’s when I realized how tired I am of Ramona. Just STFU already!
I still love me some Sonja and I thought Carole was great when she said people talking about their kids bores her. HEH Wonder if she makes a big deal out of the Kennedy cousin thing.
Sometimes Aviva looks a little like Claudia Shiffer and sometimes a little horsey.
Oh, and one of my favorite lines was when Aviva said if she had a nickle for every time someone told her about an uncle or cousin with a fake leg she’d be a multi-millionaire. Bitch please!
We just met you but you prolly wear furs, carry Birken bags and live on the upper east side of Manhattan!
@sacrasatire…Ramona didn’t tweet the video, she retweeted the link to the video, but that still doesn’t make that shit ok. She took it down immediately and said she didn’t mean to do it, but I’m not buying THAT lie! I think she did it in haste, immediately regretted it, & called LuMann to apologize, but it was too late for that. She was out of line. Still, she didn’t shoot or even post the video or make Victoria do what she did, so regardless of how repulsive it was for her to retweet it, I still don’t believe for a sec that she threatened her.
Anyhoo…do any of you guys read the bravo blogs? If not, I suggest you read Carole’s. She is a hoot and will definitely be our new Greek chorus. This is the beginning of her blog & it only gets better:
“Let’s start at Sonja’s gorgeous party with its crinkles and fresh guests. This was where I met everyone, and I was a little freaked out. I forgot that I’m shy. Did you notice? I’m comfortable in most social situations, but meeting Sonja, LuAnn, Heather, and Aviva all at once, so bright and bold, was overwhelming. Also, I didn’t know where to put my coat — where did everyone put their coats? It wasn’t clear. There was coat pressure. The dirty martinis came fast. I actually don’t drink much, I had to train for the show. I had to practice doing shots and drinking things dirty and on the rocks. It’s not as easy as it looks.”
She had me at “There was coat pressure.” lol! LOVE!
@fancyface: I dunno… I mean, I don’t think it was calculated blackmail or threat, I think it was pure Ramona impulsiveness. It probably came from her being confronted by Luann, pre-taping.
Luann: “Ramona, I think you should apologize to me on camera about what you said about my daughter and parenting.”
Ramona: “I will not apologize. It’s all true!”
Luann: “Ramona, you don’t want to play this game. You don’t want to do this..”
Ramona: Oh please, Luann? Do what? Tell them truth! There’s a million worse things I could say about your parenting if I wanted to! So don’t go there or I just might!”
I don’t even think Ramona would see it as a threat.. but I’m sure that’s how Luann saw it, like Ramona is holding something over Luann’s head, with the threat of releasing damaging info at any moment. So, Luann made a pre-emptive strike and some damage control in one not-so-smooth movement. It’s the whole tell on yourself tactic so the other party doesn’t get the chance. I saw it on The Middle once.
@sarcasatire…that is EXACTLY how I imagined that conversation went as well. lol.
BTW..I 4got this gem….didn’t Heather say Yayyy to Ramona after she told the Avery miraculous birth story? She said something like ‘Oh that’s so nice to share that with you. Thanks for that. Yayyy’ or some shit like that. WTF? Who says that after that kind of story? I think Heather is mentally stuck in the 10th grade. “OMG, Holla, Ohhh Cool, yea yea yea yea yea” lol I can’t with her!
Question for Sonja: How is someone your dear friend for years and years and you’ve never met their wife?
Sac & Fancy – thanks for the clarification. I woke up in the middle of the night and of all the damn things to wonder about, I was trying to figure out how Ramona was able to get a video of Lulu’s daughter toking. I mean, I was a pretty brazen 16 year old, but even I would have hidden it if an adult showed up.
@Classy – in defense of Sonya, how many chances would she have had to meet his wife while they are on a swing at club 69? It is just not done, darling.
Touche LAC…touche
@fancyface: I caught that too. In her Paris Hilton annoying voice she said “Yaaay”! What a spaz.
I did go over to Bravo and read Carole’s blog. How refreshing! A housewife that’s a bona fide writer. I’ll bet she’s just thrilled to the core to be lumped in with the ingredienteses queen herself as a NY Times best seller. What an honor!
If the Cuntess is a terrible mother, I don’t know, but I still say she’d be fun to party with. Can you imagine all the fascinating people that would be drawn to us, “as attractive people are”?
@ Sarcasatire, ITA and couldn’t have said it better myself! I think Trayliar Armstrong is also known for… “It’s the whole tell on yourself tactic so the other party doesn’t get the chance”.
I’m still trying to figure out how long Heather had to practice to get the Mary Lou Retton look down pat
Hey everyone, I have been lurking around TvGasm for a while but I just started commenting. I cannot get over Heather’s “Holla” in the opening. It irritates me way more than it should and makes me hate her with a passion. She has to be a moron to put something like that in their tag line that viewers have to hear EVERY WEEK for the WHOLE SEASON. Can you imagine what she is like in real life if that is what she came up with for her opening line? I have imagined that going out with her would be like going out with the Vickster from OC but instead of screaming Whoo-Hoo, Heather screams “Holla” and embarrasses everyone around her and makes every person in a 10 foot radius want to slam their head against something hard.
@realhousewivesfan…THAT’S what was throwing me off about Carole! Her teeth! They looked odd to me and now that you’ve mentioned it, I do recall her speaking as if she didn’t want to open her mouth all the way but I chalked it up to the hideous botox they all inject themselves with. Is it really because she didn’t get the bottom row done? If so, she needs to jump on that stat! Still love her though
@shantigal…OMG I forgot that nonsense! LuMann is out of her mind lol..”we were drawn to each other as attractive people often are” or some b.s like that. Thanks for the reminder & the laugh over that little piece of gold. WTF does that mean???
@selfabsorbed…HOLLA!
…see I just proved how ‘downtown, laid back, hip, young, cool, & fresh’ I am. What?…..it didn’t work? NO Heather, NO! It doesn’t work lol.
@BelowSeaLevel ROFL I just wish “a drunk Ramona and an angry Countess going at it like a naked zombie and a vagrant” was short enough for me to put it in the DVR as the nickname for this show.
Luann sure is proud her kids speak French. But since they grew up in the house with their daddy it seems like it’d be time to worry if they didn’t.
Did anybody else catch where she got asked what country’s he in now and she said he’s dividing his time between Switzerland and Asia?
Mr thxbai did. He said “If she’s that tickled they speak French just wait till the Count teaches them to speak Asian”
@ kthxbai My laugh is so evil when I think about it–am I evil? Glad you enjoyed it. Love the speaking Asian! So true. I want to spend an evening sitting around watching TV with you and Mr. thxbai.
OMG– I have to read Carole’s blog– I put myself on her team before the episode aired and I think I am going to love her more each week!!! She is like wee Linda from RHDC and a non-abrasive Cindy Barshop. I watched the reunion special twice when it aired recently–damn Cindy is a bit of apain in the ass!!!