Hiya kids! It’s me, J-Mo! I’ve been on hiatus all summer long, but now I’m back because we have a brand new season of Top Chef starting up, and this time we’re headed to rainy-ass Seattle (Padma better stock up on Frizz-Ease or she’s gonna have a giant ‘fro by the second episode). Once again, we are starting out with 76,251 chefs who will be broken up into four groups and mercilessly grilled (ha ha) by this season’s four main chef judges (or chefudges). Naturally Daddy Tom Colicchio is one of them, as well as returning fatboy Emeril LaGasse. Joining this season’s cast is the Teutonic Troll himself, Wolfgang Puck! Oh, and good old Hugh Acheson is back, too, along with that animated seagull graphic he keeps in the middle of his face….
my cat Chunky-Mo does not approve of Hughnibrow
Luckily for us, the Magical Elves realized what a huge fucking bore it was to have to sit through two full episodes of pre-finalists getting cut last season, so this time around we know who our final cast is going to be by the end of the first show. We have all your standard stock-types to laugh at, including: the Mousy White Girl, the Douchey Dickbag Dude, the Scrappy Asian Chick, the Overly Animated Gay Guy, the Complete And Utterly Annoying Bitch… and, of course, there is terrible hairstyling…
welcome to Top Chef 1912
I had no idea until this year that having a Snidely Whipstache was going to be all the rage… but if you watched this past summer’s season of Great Food Truck Race, you would have seen that my friend Bobaloo sported one of these boogersnotty stylings first. OH, and I think the show realized that having both of these guys giving us Turn Of The Century Realness was a little much, because only one of them makes it onto the real show. Check back in a few days for the full recap, and in the meantime, if you want to relive the glory of past seasons of Top Chef Recappage by such TVGasm luminaries as MisRed, Alejandra, LoLo, and Flipit then click here for a full five-pages worth (guaranteed to help you slack off at your job all afternoon).
Oh, and since everybody is jumping on the video bandwagon, I thought I’d post a little something to show you guys a little bit about what it’s like to recap a show… enjoy!
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