Miss Advised Recap: A Tale of Two Parties

Recaps

By Pillania | Tuesday, July 24, 2012 | 5:06 pm | 7 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Miss Advised, Recaps

Do you remember AB, her ex from the very first episode? He moved to Saudi Arabia without telling Amy. Given what we’ve seen of Amy so far, AB’s decision seems completely rational.

Anyway, she is going to a party in Greenwich, CT, at her friend Joseph’s. On the way, she stops by a potential client’s home. Potential client Tina is a referral from friend Joseph. When Amy interviews Tina, she asks some general questions about Tina’s past relationships and if she’s currently seeing anyone. Tina tells Amy she is emotionally intelligent enough to know not to talk about exes on a first date. Tina is “a little more savvy than that.” A person who’s been living in an underground bomb shelter for the past 50 years could emerge and be more savvy than Amy.

Amy is kind of rude to Tina, which I find interesting, as a) she’s not Patti Stanger and can’t pull it off and b) I thought she was more of a customer’s always right type matchmaker. Amy lets Tina know she’s rusty because she’s been single for a while. Tina: I’m not rusty about talking to people. According to Amy, Tina is an alpha female and cannot continue to behave in this masculine manner. How is saying you know not to discuss your divorce on a first date masculine? I guess in order for a woman to have a successful dating life, she’s supposed to be a shrinking violet and be on the verge of a complete emotional collapse at all times. I think Amy was meant to live in Victorian times.

She’s really got the “I’m someone who gives sage advice” face down.

Tina helps Amy into her coat, and Amy can’t resist the urge to tell her how masculine that is. Tina says she was just being a good hostess, which is what I thought as well. Time for Joesph’s party, which Tina is also attending. Amy is hoping to meet a guy, because she can’t just go there to have a nice time with friends. Joseph has a rule that guests must either take off their shoes or wear surgical booties in the house. Wasn’t this an episode of Sex and the City? Carrie’s shoes ended up getting stolen. Memo to HRG’s production minions: don’t recycle plotlines of shows I watched on a loop while in hungover in college.

Nice booties! ;- )

Tina greets Amy and immediately brings up how Amy called her masculine. Amy clarifies that what Tina actually has is masculine energy. Which to a drunk female at a party probably sounds so much better. Tina thinks Amy is threatened by her, and has issues with Amy’s rules. Now, I’m not saying this was the right time for Tina to bring any of this up, but Amy takes the bait. Amy gets combative, speaking in a defensive tone and waving her hand about wildly. She tells Tina that she can either listen to her or stay single. It’s really just a glowing advertisement overall for Amy’s company and services.

Hand waving. The mark of any good Bravo fight.

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Pillania
About

Picture the most luxurious lifestyle you could imagine, then multiply that by 50.

Now you have begun to understand Pillania, a hypochondriac/grad student/waitress/TV watcher who recently moved back in with her parents while she completes her degree program. She is constantly getting into jams, including but not limited to being "trapped" in the garage of people for whom she was housesitting, causing an accident inside of a car wash, and spilling soda all over her state representative's head whilst serving him at the restaurant.

7 Comments

  1. 1
    Momi
    Posted July 24, 2012 at 7:47 pm

    Like always your recap is great!!! Love the captions under the pictures. I am going to sound like a total loser but I can not wait until Mondays to read it!
    I had watched the show and by the time I started to read your recap I’ve already forgotten all Emily screen time. There is something unauthentic about all that blabbing about how much she doesn’t like monogamy…I also wonder why Rubin still hasn’t come?? He probably only gives her the time of day because he expects lots of hot sex from a sex expert. And love how everyone wonders about sex in the butt with her. lol.

    Julia is beyond crazy, but I love that scene with her dog swimming above the sink…so cute! JP looked really anorexic, but I agree she is the voice of reason and loved her singing! I watch WWHL and she acted strange and had the crown on AGAIN, and I don’t think it was her birthday!
    Now Amy… I don’t know why but I find myself rooting for Amy, on her date she finally let it go and was quite likable, but she was rude to Tina in her house. That party was a disaster, I couldn’t concentrate on anything that was going on because I was blindsided by those ugly shoe covers. Who does this to their guests and I don’t know why no one opted to walk barefoot? Surely pretty feet are better than blue rags on them.
    Thank god this show isn’t over yet so I can still wait for next hilarious recap.
    So sorry about your leg Pillania : (

  2. 2
    MrsMiaWallace
    Posted July 25, 2012 at 6:09 am

    @Momi – I would opt for the booties… heels make your legs look great, especially in a minidress and frankly I never wear flats so I feel like I’m walking around like a plow-hand without heels on. Not sexy

    Great recap, I have been avoiding this show and saw this episode only. The anti-monogamy one seems one more threesome away from a total breakdown and I hate to say it but I thought Amy was right about Tina. Probably could have been more tactful and helpful, like “you are a powerful independent woman and that’s a good thing, but make sure you are allowing your date to take the lead at times since you’re used to doing everything for yourself”. Something besides “you’re a man, man-hands”.

    And Julia. Hate Julia. Hate Julia and want her to be buried in a bunker with Heidi Montag and Michele Salahi and every other manufactured neurotic who is desperate for Fame At All Costs. I read some hate blog that said that she was friends with Meghan McCain by stalking her on FB too so that may be how she finds love.

    These girls make Patti Stanger, the Hollywood Madame, look reasonable and wise in ways of love. How is that possible!??!?

  3. 3
    Big Lamb
    Posted July 25, 2012 at 7:18 am

    so awesomesauce…

    btw I was really worried when I got to the bottom of page 3 and you haven’t even gotten through the Amy party yet! I thought that you had given up on Julia but I sighed in relief that page 4 was wayyyy longer than pages 1-3 ;-)

  4. 4
    NotAlway'sPerfekt
    Posted July 25, 2012 at 9:49 am

    Again Pillania, you’ve managed to recap this mess of a show expertly! And wounded to boot! I really enjoy reading your recaps!!! Thank you! :-)

  5. 5
    labowner
    Posted July 25, 2012 at 10:09 am

    Pillinia I am sorry to hear about your leg. Hopefully the accident happened towards the end of the party and not the beginning.

    I am still on the side of the road that Emily is all talk and no do.

    Julia there are no words. Adam and Drew would be taking bets on what happened to her growing up that makes her this way.

  6. 6
    OutHouseCat
    Posted July 25, 2012 at 1:45 pm

    Oh God! I knew better than to click on page 4. I knew it was the crazy Julia page, but I did it anyway. I’m going to have to overcome my total fear of flying, get on a plane to Cali, and slap that bitch. Hopefully they’ll be another earthquake soon, just at her apartment, and she’ll fall into the ocean. But even Nemo wouldn’t associate with that crazy beeotch.

    Hope your leg gets gets better soon, Pillania. Even if my first thought was that this show made you into a cutter. lol At least you probably have good drugs to help you get thru this hot mess.

  7. 7
    NewYawka
    Posted August 20, 2012 at 5:51 pm

    Poor Julia – Lost in time….a 13 year old in a a grown womans body. Pink Lolipops n Poodles for her! Weeee!
    Emily – sleezy. Perfect spokesperson for venereal diseases.
    I forgot the last ones name, ya know, the aged valley-girl who like has like all the answers but like cant help
    herself. OMG!

    Anyhoo, I couldn’t stand this show so I stopped watching it.

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