Miss Advised Recap: Have the Lambs Stopped Screaming?

Recaps

By Pillania | Tuesday, July 31, 2012 | 9:36 am | 13 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Miss Advised, Recaps

“Welcome to your nightmare.”

 Prologue: Hi friends ;- ) Time for another glimpse into the love lives of our favourite losers. (In honour of the Olympics, I’ve taken to spelling with British flourishes and using some of the British slang I learned reading the Harry Potter books. I did this the week of the royal wedding as well. Spell check/auto correct are not on board with it).

“Bugger off, Pillania.”

Last time: New suitor Andrew inexplicably surprised Julia at her dinner party, Emily — the one who was supposed to be soooo sexually adventurous and free — sat around like a bump on a log, and Amy got into an argument with a potential client at a party, finally giving this show an injection of some drama.

I have high hopes for this episode, because all week in the previews they’ve been showing Julia professing her undying love/then slapping Andrew, and a visit from our favourite bloke (hint: he’s from Michigan and was the bee knees when Emily knew him when they were 10) is upon us….

EMILY (San Francisco)

At the Sex with Emily show, Emily’s chillin’ with Menace, her assistant Kelsi (why?), and her three devoted listeners. “The Michigan guy” is coming…

Menace asks if she plans on sleeping with David Rubin, but Emily wants to know why he’s so concerned with her sex life. Well, he’s the co-host of your SEX SHOW so isn’t “maintains an interest in the host’s sex life,” like, line one of his job description? The topic of the today’s show is that of “the one.” If discussing this highly original topic doesn’t earn them a Marconi Award, what will? But — BE STILL MY HEART!!!!

Drink it at all in, ladies.

David Rubin has arrived at the radio show. I’m not sure why he’s meeting her there, but the moment we’ve been waiting 5 weeks for has finally arrived. I can’t shake the feeling this is going to be more anticlimactic than the final season of Lost (RIP).

They snog a bit and Menace is just like, are you serious? Menace is happy to inform David Rubin that Emily doesn’t believe in the concept of “the one.” David Rubin agrees, so Menace calls him a player. The Rube spends the rest of the show being a general wanker to Menace, and I for one do not appreciate this. At the end of the show, Emily signs off by asking the audience if it was good for them. I’m going to speak on all of their behalf and say……no.

Emily, David Rubin, Menace, and assistant/new cast member Kelsi go out to dinner. I kind of would have wanted some alone time after waiting 20+ years to reconnect with my 5th grade crush, but I’m not under contract with Bravo. Emily and David Rubin are all PDA-ish, and keep talking about how they’ve known each other since they were ten. Really? Has that been mentioned before?

The myth of the Rube’s awesomeness continues to deteriorate in front of my very eyes, as he keeps making douchebag comments to Menace. Example: I bet girls stop you from kissing them all the time. Menace was giving David Rubin a bit of a hard time, but that’s his sarcastic/dry humour, and also the fact that he seems to really care about Emily. I’m pretty sure David Rubin was a bully in 5th grade, and he’s still one now, so he needs to shut his fat gob.

David Rubin is under the impression Emily lives a wacky, crazy sex life in San Francisco. LOL. That’s what we all thought too, DR, and we were so wrong. Emily tells him about an orgasmic meditation workshop she went to — another sexual adventure that occurred BEFORE this show started filming, conveniently — and the Rube likens it to prostitution. It’s really sweet.

Knight in shining armour.

Pages: 1 2 3 4
Pillania
About

Picture the most luxurious lifestyle you could imagine, then multiply that by 50.

Now you have begun to understand Pillania, a hypochondriac/grad student/waitress/TV watcher who recently moved back in with her parents while she completes her degree program. She is constantly getting into jams, including but not limited to being "trapped" in the garage of people for whom she was housesitting, causing an accident inside of a car wash, and spilling soda all over her state representative's head whilst serving him at the restaurant.

13 Comments

  1. 1
    Catherine
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 10:51 am

    Amy Laurent/Baetjer From Bravo’s Miss Advised Is Still Hooking
    Posted in Dirty News, Santa Monica, The Dirty, UCLA

    THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik here’s a Photo of her old hooking website: [removed]  Photos from some of her old hooker ads:[removed]/[removed].  Now hooking via this ad: Morgan Ashley is an exotic actress and model who has had a successful career in mainstream television, appears in several national print ads, and who you may recognize from a variety of film roles. Best known for her gorgeous and striking features, Morgan is a definite must-see among those VIP’s who are looking for their dream girl!  She is described as “the brunette-lover’s dream” and is much more than just a pretty face.  Bright, fun and beautiful, Morgan has a zest for life and has been propelled to the top of the list among the country’s elite including high-powered CEO’s and prominent businessmen.  Morgan especially appeals to those with extremely high standards and is the preferential choice for business moguls, celebrities, lawyers, bankers, politicians, sports figures, and entrepreneurs. For a limited time, Morgan is available for exclusive engagements with affluent gentlemen who meet requirements. Whether it be joining you on your business trip, accompanying you to your formal event, jetting to a romantic vacation locale, or simply enjoying a quiet dinner for two, Morgan brings into any venue unforgettable appeal and style unlike any other. Discretion is always guaranteed.  Smart, sexy and drop-dead gorgeous, Morgan is someone you will be proud to have on your arm and is ideal for those accustomed to nothing but the very best!  See her while you can, as she is only available several months out of the year.  Serious requests only. All completed “request for meeting” forms will be considered. Please be prepared for a screening process. Initial contact is through e-mail only!! click here for her absurb price list. <–1.5 mil for a year

    Amy was a regular in LA who went by the name Anna before she upgraded her prices name to Morgan Ashley. Sorry for killing the links but I refuse to promote her business, unlike Bravo.- nik

  2. 2
    labowner
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 2:18 pm

    What the? A whore and Andy’s minions didn’t find this out. Who does the background checks? Wow oh wow. Awesome gossip Catherine.

    How did we miss the WWHL with all three of them? Wow is Emily a stuck up bitch.

    Amy is coming out with a book on how to survive the first 8 weeks of dating. Those who can’t do, write?

    Pillania glad you are on the mend. Chin up, tally-ho.

  3. 3
    Catherine
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 2:57 pm

    It was posted on thedirty.com yesterday, I couldn’t get a link to just that article so I copied and pasted it. I guess the pics didn’t come up. But if you go to the site there’s a link that has her price list. She’s a high priced ho fo’ sho!

  4. 4
    featherhead
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 3:16 pm

    Damn. How stupid of her to do the show – she’s gotta know people will find any skeletons hiding in your closet. I wonder if Nads knows ‘she was working on that show as a producer I think.

  5. 5
    itchy itchy
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 3:42 pm

    I found myself sucked into this trainwreck show… Did these women know they’d be edited this way? It’s one of the saddest reality shows I’ve ever watched. And I can’t tell which girl is the saddest…

    As for the escort ad — there’s no proof it’s her (and the description sure as hell doesn’t match) and the pic is just a random shot of her talking to a guy in a bar (whose face isn’t even blurred out — you’d think he’d want a bit of discretion is he’s on a date with an escort?), so for now I’m just assuming this is part of the weird hatred these women inspire.

  6. 6
    NikkiHughes
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 4:55 pm

    Man, I actually like watching this show…..it’s like a psychology assignment. Julia was my fave in the beginning, but now I realize she is just sad. :( She wants SO much to be in love, that she falls for every guy she meets almost instantly and then gets crushed. It’s kinda painful to watch. I feel bad for her.

  7. 7
    NotWithoutMyTV NotwithoutmyTV
    Posted August 1, 2012 at 5:09 am

    So in short, Amy has attended the Tiny Manzo School of Advice for the Distance Learner?

  8. 8
    labowner
    Posted August 1, 2012 at 9:37 am

    Itchy I am going to assume Amy has enough resources to go after that site legally if what they printed wasn’t true. Until I see that, I am going to believe Amy had/has a side job.

  9. 9
    itchy itchy
    Posted August 1, 2012 at 10:56 am

    Sorry, but that’s just not proof enough. I realize this woman’s delusional, but even she wouldn’t describe herself as “drop dead gorgeous”. And she’s too much in the public eye to pull off the discretion a high-priced escort would need anyway.

    Methinks it’s probably this guy, or someone like him: http://gothamist.com/2010/05/27/man_sues_matchmaker_for_failing_to.php

    Besides, it’s hard to take anyone who spells absurb as “absurb” seriously.

  10. 10
    labowner
    Posted August 1, 2012 at 11:28 am

    Besides, it’s hard to take anyone who spells absurb as “absurb” seriously.

    What?

  11. 11
    itchy itchy
    Posted August 1, 2012 at 1:51 pm

    Have you seen my avatar?

  12. 12
    itchy itchy
    Posted August 2, 2012 at 2:41 am

    But yes, how absurd that I typed “absurb” while ragging on someone else for typing “absurb!” But I assume the person behind that blog has a way of editing his/her typos. I don’t. Sniff.

  13. 13
    ddem
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 2:50 pm

    I am just glad this abortion of a show is over.

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Human Verification: In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.