Amy makes up her own juice/shake thing to ensure she doesn’t exceed her 25 calorie allotment for the day. Kevin asks her to share one cool fact about herself. The key word here was “cool,” but all Amy comes up with is that she has pajama pants with cupcakes on them. Amy says it’s a big deal for her to feel comfortable around people, and she giggles like a 12 year old and keeps complimenting him on things like his hair and how nice he smells. It’s clear she had a nice time, and the stick up her ass does seem a little bit smaller than it did during the first few episodes. They plan to go on a sushi date soon…
We pick up right where we left off after last week’s dinner party. Remember, to the shock of no one, Andrew showed up and Julia made a general fool of herself (yeah, her desperate behaviour surprised me as well) by falling and screaming all over the place. Andrew slept on the couch. He probably threw up when he saw 4-year-old princess room. Julia makes it sound like she’s the one who wouldn’t let him stay in her bedroom. Sure, we’ll play along with that.
Julia tells Andrew she’ll be making eggs, lox, and water for breakfast. I take this to mean she’s going to the lab to physically put two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom together. Our girl JP passive-aggressively asks Andrew what in hell possessed him to get on a plane and travel to see Julia. She’s not buying it that he missed Julia. Join the club, woman.
We soon learn that Julia is three articles behind with her shitty online Elle “column.” So she can probably expect that Pulitzer any day now. She tells Andrew he “inspires her” (creepy), and he suddenly needs to be going because of a work commitment. Julia’s cool with that, because she’s has a photo shoot to prepare for, most likely her headshots for the Pulitzer committee.
After Andrew exits Road Runner-style, JP notes it’s weird that he slept on the couch. Julia fake demurely explains she’s concerned by how much she likes him. Allow me to remind you that in the premiere episode, Julia made no qualms about giving someone a blow job on the first date. Keep that in mind (well, not literally) for later. Julia says she and Andrew are at a precipice, and elaborates in a way that makes it clear that she does not fully understand the meaning of this word. We’re going to need some better production notes over here, minions.
The aforementioned photo shoot is for her Elle column. They can post the photos if she ever gets around to, you know, actually writing something. The editor, Keith, would like to go over the articles she hasn’t written. Elle will be showcasing her in some feature they have where they go into people’s (Keith’s word, note how he didn’t use a term remotely indicating it’s for someone with .00001% of fame or legitimate talent/career) closets to find 10 things that embody them. Her entire closet is pink princess shit that should have been tossed in the dustbin when she turned 12. Keith totally disses everything, calling the dresses weird, saying they won’t photograph well, and making a snarky comment about bridesmaids.
Do you realize other colours beside pink exist?
JP shows up for the sole purpose of asking Keith what he thinks of Julia’s non-existent articles. Way to throw your friend under the bus. And I am not saying that sarcastically, I really mean it. I probably don’t need to tell you the photo shoot is beyond cheesy, and that I wouldn’t be remotely surprised if these pictures never saw the light of day on Elle or any other website, except maybe the Reblogging Donk one that is solely dedicated to hating Julia.
Later, Julia meets Keith at a pub of some sort to give him a bunch of bullshit excuses as to why she hasn’t written her column. Stalking people on Facebook and overanalyzing texts is extremely time consuming. I did an internship at a newspaper in college, and unless you’re, like, William Shakespeare you DO NOT get to miss a deadline, or change a deadline because you feel like it. That space is alloted for your writing and people are counting on you. If you don’t want it, you’ll be replaced and no one will be banging down your door to ask you to write again. Granted she was going to write for the website, but she’s taking an opportunity away from someone who would be grateful and use this as a stepping stone in their career.
This has been a Pillania Service Announcement.
You can tell Keith hates her and is cursing himself for allowing HRG to convince him to sacrifice his magazine’s credibility for the sake of some free publicity. I don’t watch Project Runway anymore, but does Nina Garcia still work for Elle? Because I feel like she would never allow this to happen.
What did you do to piss off HRG, Keith? Post something snarky on his Twitter?
Julia is terribly upset because she can’t be good at both dating AND her column. I thought mixing the two was the basis of her entire writing “career?” After the meeting, Julia enlists her true blue JP to pick some clothes for a trip to see Andrew in San Francisco. JP doesn’t bother hiding her disgust with all of Julia’s potential outfit choices. Surprise! They’re pink.
Julia says she and Andrew speak SEVERAL times a day, which I take to mean she sends 99 million texts and he sends back a couple one word responses. Julia invited herself to San Fran so they can have “THE TALK” and see where they’re at. Allow me to remind you that at this point, they’ve hung out exactly twice. JP still can’t believe Andrew came to visit her after the dinner party. JP, meet HRG. Come on, girl.
Remember a few paragraphs ago when I graciously reminded you how Julia is cool with oral sex on the first date? Well, she reeeealllly held out for Andrew, because she waited til their second date to go down on him. I’m not going to debate when someone should perform oral versus when one shouldn’t, but I’ll say that doing that after hanging out with the person for less than five hours total probably won’t form the foundation for a lasting relationship. Also: her parents must be so proud.