Miss Advised Recap: Have the Lambs Stopped Screaming?

Recaps

By Pillania | Tuesday, July 31, 2012 | 9:36 am | 13 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Miss Advised, Recaps

Julia arrives in San Francisco, but damn, she must have just missed Emily, who is en route to Napa. Before she “falls in love with him,” she simply must know if Andrew is on the same page. She brought him booze, but he declines. I’d probably have to be black out in order to deal with Julia, but I can understand his concern that she’s not above Roofie-ing his drink. She points to a corner and asks “what’s over there?” The object to which she is referring is a guitar. So exotic! Is it from the future?

Uncharacteristically, Julia hangs all over Andrew, making him super uncomfortable. He asks how her writing is going, and instead of having a real conversation, she gets all Single White Female and says she missed him. I think the rest of the conversation is best suited to a transcription:

J: So what is going on with us [after 1 date, you showing up at the end of the dinner party, and a blow job]?

A: That’s a big one.

J: HEHE ANNOYING LAUGH

……..crickets……..

A: Look, you’re fun [thanks for the BJ], you’re smart[-er than a kindergartener], you’re a little crazy [compared to Charlie Sheen]. Good crazy. But I don’t feel I’m falling for you [I got my SAG card today].

J: Eye roll/dramatic cry.

A: You don’t feel that way?

J: No. I feel like I could fall in love with you [after 1 date, you showing up at the end of the dinner party, and a blow job]. You don’t feel like that’s a possiblity?

A: I don’t. Sorry.

J: Truly incredulous.

A: You wanna slap me?

I don’t know why he said that, but she actually slaps him. Then tells him she hates him. Julia sobs ridiculously.

Have

the

lambs

stopped

screaming?

I’m surprised she actually leaves without Andrew having to call the cops. Seriously, if this is how you react after a handful of dates, what happens when you break up with an actual long-term partner? She is crying more than I did when I broke up with my boyfriend of 1.5 years last month.

FREEDOM. 

Epilogue: Next week is the finale?!?! Time flies when you’re having fun…

The Rube wants to get it on with Emily and the sexpert BETTER BE GOOD AT SEX. Julia gets more advice she’s guaranteed not to follow, and Amy has another date with gym rat Kevin.

What did you all think? Thanks to those who commented last week. I am getting my stitches out Thursday! The only downside is I won’t be able to milk it for all it’s worth at work anymore. I might pull a George Constanza and pretend to have a limp for a while. ;- )

Cheerio!

Pillania ;- )

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Pillania
About

Picture the most luxurious lifestyle you could imagine, then multiply that by 50.

Now you have begun to understand Pillania, a hypochondriac/grad student/waitress/TV watcher who recently moved back in with her parents while she completes her degree program. She is constantly getting into jams, including but not limited to being "trapped" in the garage of people for whom she was housesitting, causing an accident inside of a car wash, and spilling soda all over her state representative's head whilst serving him at the restaurant.

13 Comments

  1. 1
    Catherine
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 10:51 am

    Amy Laurent/Baetjer From Bravo’s Miss Advised Is Still Hooking
    Posted in Dirty News, Santa Monica, The Dirty, UCLA

    THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik here’s a Photo of her old hooking website: [removed]  Photos from some of her old hooker ads:[removed]/[removed].  Now hooking via this ad: Morgan Ashley is an exotic actress and model who has had a successful career in mainstream television, appears in several national print ads, and who you may recognize from a variety of film roles. Best known for her gorgeous and striking features, Morgan is a definite must-see among those VIP’s who are looking for their dream girl!  She is described as “the brunette-lover’s dream” and is much more than just a pretty face.  Bright, fun and beautiful, Morgan has a zest for life and has been propelled to the top of the list among the country’s elite including high-powered CEO’s and prominent businessmen.  Morgan especially appeals to those with extremely high standards and is the preferential choice for business moguls, celebrities, lawyers, bankers, politicians, sports figures, and entrepreneurs. For a limited time, Morgan is available for exclusive engagements with affluent gentlemen who meet requirements. Whether it be joining you on your business trip, accompanying you to your formal event, jetting to a romantic vacation locale, or simply enjoying a quiet dinner for two, Morgan brings into any venue unforgettable appeal and style unlike any other. Discretion is always guaranteed.  Smart, sexy and drop-dead gorgeous, Morgan is someone you will be proud to have on your arm and is ideal for those accustomed to nothing but the very best!  See her while you can, as she is only available several months out of the year.  Serious requests only. All completed “request for meeting” forms will be considered. Please be prepared for a screening process. Initial contact is through e-mail only!! click here for her absurb price list. <–1.5 mil for a year

    Amy was a regular in LA who went by the name Anna before she upgraded her prices name to Morgan Ashley. Sorry for killing the links but I refuse to promote her business, unlike Bravo.- nik

  2. 2
    labowner
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 2:18 pm

    What the? A whore and Andy’s minions didn’t find this out. Who does the background checks? Wow oh wow. Awesome gossip Catherine.

    How did we miss the WWHL with all three of them? Wow is Emily a stuck up bitch.

    Amy is coming out with a book on how to survive the first 8 weeks of dating. Those who can’t do, write?

    Pillania glad you are on the mend. Chin up, tally-ho.

  3. 3
    Catherine
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 2:57 pm

    It was posted on thedirty.com yesterday, I couldn’t get a link to just that article so I copied and pasted it. I guess the pics didn’t come up. But if you go to the site there’s a link that has her price list. She’s a high priced ho fo’ sho!

  4. 4
    featherhead
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 3:16 pm

    Damn. How stupid of her to do the show – she’s gotta know people will find any skeletons hiding in your closet. I wonder if Nads knows ‘she was working on that show as a producer I think.

  5. 5
    itchy itchy
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 3:42 pm

    I found myself sucked into this trainwreck show… Did these women know they’d be edited this way? It’s one of the saddest reality shows I’ve ever watched. And I can’t tell which girl is the saddest…

    As for the escort ad — there’s no proof it’s her (and the description sure as hell doesn’t match) and the pic is just a random shot of her talking to a guy in a bar (whose face isn’t even blurred out — you’d think he’d want a bit of discretion is he’s on a date with an escort?), so for now I’m just assuming this is part of the weird hatred these women inspire.

  6. 6
    NikkiHughes
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 4:55 pm

    Man, I actually like watching this show…..it’s like a psychology assignment. Julia was my fave in the beginning, but now I realize she is just sad. :( She wants SO much to be in love, that she falls for every guy she meets almost instantly and then gets crushed. It’s kinda painful to watch. I feel bad for her.

  7. 7
    NotWithoutMyTV NotwithoutmyTV
    Posted August 1, 2012 at 5:09 am

    So in short, Amy has attended the Tiny Manzo School of Advice for the Distance Learner?

  8. 8
    labowner
    Posted August 1, 2012 at 9:37 am

    Itchy I am going to assume Amy has enough resources to go after that site legally if what they printed wasn’t true. Until I see that, I am going to believe Amy had/has a side job.

  9. 9
    itchy itchy
    Posted August 1, 2012 at 10:56 am

    Sorry, but that’s just not proof enough. I realize this woman’s delusional, but even she wouldn’t describe herself as “drop dead gorgeous”. And she’s too much in the public eye to pull off the discretion a high-priced escort would need anyway.

    Methinks it’s probably this guy, or someone like him: http://gothamist.com/2010/05/27/man_sues_matchmaker_for_failing_to.php

    Besides, it’s hard to take anyone who spells absurb as “absurb” seriously.

  10. 10
    labowner
    Posted August 1, 2012 at 11:28 am

    Besides, it’s hard to take anyone who spells absurb as “absurb” seriously.

    What?

  11. 11
    itchy itchy
    Posted August 1, 2012 at 1:51 pm

    Have you seen my avatar?

  12. 12
    itchy itchy
    Posted August 2, 2012 at 2:41 am

    But yes, how absurd that I typed “absurb” while ragging on someone else for typing “absurb!” But I assume the person behind that blog has a way of editing his/her typos. I don’t. Sniff.

  13. 13
    ddem
    Posted August 9, 2012 at 2:50 pm

    I am just glad this abortion of a show is over.

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