“I took my troubles down to Madame Ruth”
Prologue: Helloooo! I hope you’re all covered from your beer/BBQ/firework hangovers (I’m not) and are ready to catch up on all the great Bravo shows (I am) ;- )
Previously on Miss Advised ;- ) — Julia begged a date in the most desperate manner possible for a kiss, Amy broke all of her own matchmaking rules, and Emily continued to be kind of a bore (wasn’t she supposed to be the Samantha?)
The episode opens with a producer asking the gals who should make the first move. Julia says the girl, Amy says the guy, and Emily says who cares, which kinds of sums up everyone’s attitude about these women’s lives in general.
But I digress…
EMILY (San Francisco)
Emily has returned from her visit to her home state, Michigan, where she went on a date with the infamous David Rubin. In case you forgot, he’s recently divorced, and really into what he hotly refers to as “sex in the butt.” How long was Emily away for? How did Sex with Emily’s two devoted listeners survive while she was gone? What does Menace do in his free time?
“I was hoping she wouldn’t come back.”
Gary Busey’s long-lost cousin, Reid, shows up. He’s a self-proclaimed sex “geek” and expert on polyamorous relationships. He’d like to know Emily’s species — he, for instance, is a queer polyamorous slut. He has a primary partner but evidently they can sleep with other peeps, both alone and as a group. He invites Emily to a kissing workshop. She seems less than thrilled to say yes, but reminds us she needs to live up to her reputation. She says it’s not hot that Reid kisses men. I’m starting to think Emily’s open-mindedness is all an act.
“I’m here because HRG owed cousin Gary a favor…don’t ask”
Later, at the kissing workshop, Reid asks the attendees if they’ve ever heard of Emily’s radio show…….crickets. The workshop is called Full Body Kiss. Emily sits in Reid’s lap as he explained doing things like running your hands through someone’s hair while kissing can really enhance the experience. This is breaking news?
They kiss and he starts twitching/having a mini-seizure. He warned Emily this would happen, as when he gets turned on he develops a tantric form of Tourettes. It’s really creepy and not hot at all. Emily agrees to get a drink with him after the workshop, under the guise of continuing to investing polyamory.
The drink itself is rather uneventful. Reid’s explaining his relationship, which basically comes down to he can do whomever he wants, whenever he wants. Reid is creepy and intense but not in a fun way like his cousin Gary Busey (remember when Meatloaf FLIPPED OUT at Gary during a painting challenge on Celebrity Apprentice? THAT is the kind kind of instability I like on my reality shows).
Emily later goes to visit Reid at his harem, meeting his primary partner, Allison. They lay on pillows and talk about threesomes, so it really makes open-minded-this-can-only-happen-in-San-Francisco Emily seem rather prudish when she gets all “I do declare” when they suggest having sexy time. It’s Sex with Emily, not Everyone, she tells us haughtily. Okay, but I thought unusual sex stuff was your thing? She was also put off by a strip club a few episodes ago, but in her interviews she’s always talking about weird sex things she’s done. I’m starting to doubt Em’s street cred.
In what turns out to be the most enjoyable scene of this episode, Emily is playing with her dog in front of a very familiar-looking historical landmark…
“Whatever happened to predictability?”
She rescued the dog in an “experiment” in taking care of something other than herself. I don’t think you should experiment with living things, but it seems to be going well and they’re really cute together. The episode ends with David Rubin — yes, THE David Rubin — calling and making plans to visit Emily ASAFP. Looks like there’s some sex in the butt in someone’s future…