Mob Wives Chicago: Classy ’til the Bitter End

It’s the season finale of Mob Wives: Chicago, this should prove to be exciting.  But, it absolutely doesn’t.

The Bobbsey twins are hanging out at Renee’s apartment to discuss the “chat” with Nora and Pia.  Pia claims that Nora is not a thought in her mind anymore.  Oh, does that mean that she’s not going to talk about her anymore?  Yeah right.

Nora?  Who the hell is Nora?…God, I hate that bitch Nora.

Renee tells Pia about the discussion with her ex-husband.  Renee is worried about him talking to Giana about it, because she hasn’t gotten a chance to talk to her about it yet.  At least she admits to having talked badly of him to Giana over the years. 

Renee went on the ultra-romantic trip with Dave to Boston.  Pia tells her to “put Dave on the backbone”.  Whatever that means…  This particular group of women just can’t seem to stop butchering the English language. 

Leah sits down with The Wolf to discuss her momma.  Momma Leah is depressed and had to stop chemo treatments because she just couldn’t take it anymore.  The Wolf’s response is “she’s gonna’ do what she’s gonna’ do”, which is a little too blunt for Leah’s taste.  Leah tells him that she might be able to deal with losing her mother, but she can’t lose her father. 

Your mom’s dying?  Whadayagonnado, eh?

C-Wow and Nora are chilling at a wine bar where Nora tells C-Wow that she met up with Pia.  Nora gives a Nora-like account of it, which means Pia was being awful so she just had to walk away.  Then she launches into raising her dad from the dead.  Based on the previews from last week, they’re going to be raising someone else’s father, because her dad isn’t in that grave.  C-Wow’s worried about Nora losing it, but I’m pretty sure it was lost years ago. 

C-Wow breaks Italian code again by seeing her therapist.  Obviously, this means that C-Wow has nothing interesting to show to us so shares her “deep thoughts” with the fake therapist.  It’s a snooze-fest and reveals nothing new. 

Nora’s friend Julie arrives in Chicago for the exhumation.  Nora’s trying not to “vision” it, because its’ just too much.  The cemetery calls to tell her that her brother didn’t sign any of the petitions, so she can’t have the body exhumed.  She’s blaming this on the government and not “getting their I’s and t’s crossed or whatever”.  I think perhaps we need to sign these girls up for American idiom classes.  Also, perhaps, some just regular English language.

Nora tells Julie that she can’t go with her to the exhumation, because she’s not family.  I’m certain she appreciates that.

Oh good.  I came all the way to Chicago to stay at your apartment while you go do this exhumation?