Mob Wives Chicago Recap: Go Karts? More Like Hit-n-Run Karts.

Recaps

By Sugarbush | Monday, July 9, 2012 | 12:33 pm | 16 Comments
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Posted in: Mob Wives Chicago, Recaps

At Nora’s apartment, Nora and Pia discuss the most recent bar fight.  Nora still avoids letting Pia know what she said about Renee’s custody battle.  She’s only got one friend left, so I guess that’s a good idea.  So, she tells Pia that she took a swing at Renee and then said, “I swing at her and then she grabs my hair while I’m trying to get away.”  Where is your pride?  Why be honest about that part?  Do you really want to confirm to everyone that you took a swing at someone and then bolted like a kid on a playground?  Punk!

Nora says she’d rather strip than be friends with Renee.  I don’t know if Pia is stupid or just has a ton of patience.  I’m thinking it’s the latter.  I don’t see this patience with Nora lasting too terribly long.  

My favorite mafiosa is having lunch with her momma.  Leah’s mom has recently been diagnosed wtih breast cancer.  Her mom wants to be really strong about all of this and not be sad.  “Life goes on”, she says.  You guys know I’m not going to make fun of breast cancer.  I’m really sorry for Leah and her momma.  

C-Wow went to school for fashion design, so she and Renee are at the fabric store.  Unfortunately, C-Wow has the taste of a tacky drag queen so they’re looking at fluorescent acrylics.  Renee gives a blow by blow of the bar fight.  What I love about this scene the most is that she casually tells her about the face smashing she gave Nora.  She’s like, “She took off and I just kinda’ threw her on the ground like a Barbie doll.”  You almost broke her face on the bar!  Dude, that was the best thing I’ve seen in a long time!  Fess up to it!  Own it.  Be proud of yourself.  I’ve wanted to do that to a lot of people.  I just have this thing about consequences.

I couldn’t resist posting this image again.

Pia and Nora have switched scenes and now they’re at Pia’s place.  Nora delves right into the Renee situation.  Pia tries to be cool for a few minutes and then just snaps.  It’s a fantastic snap.  She loses it.  Pia tells her to forget about it, it’s 8th grade bullshit, and then calls Renee a “lying fucking dog cunt”.  That’s a new one.  It brings up an image that I’m not fully comfortable with.  Pia tells us that if Nora can’t let this thing go, she’s going to put Nora’s feet in cement blocks and toss her into the river.

C-Wow shows up at her therapist appointment.  Apparently, a neighbor told her daughter about her parents’ divorce.  That’s great.  Nice neighbor, but even nicer parents for not telling her before telling the neighborhood.  It seems as though this therapist thing is just for C-Wow to tell us about her divorce situation in a more dramatic way, because there’s no way they’ve built any sort of relationship here.  VH1 and Bravo need to get more legitimate looking therapists for their shows.  Even JJ on Teen Mom is more convincing.

Thank you, Miss Therapist Lady.  I’ll see you again when I can think of something else that might be slightly interesting.

Back at Nora’s, she’s calling C-Wow to invite her to a party for her birthday.  She says they’re meeting at her place and then taking a party bus to an undisclosed location.  This, of course, freaks out C-Wow.  This scene is in every single mob movie ever made.  She’ll take her to a warehouse where she’ll walk in and someone will come up behind her with a piano wire.  She wants C-Wow to bring Leah along, because she’s a lot of fun.  I wonder what Leah will think of her punch-n-run shenanigans.  

Renee shows up breathless at a coffee shop with her daughter.  Someone tried to exorcise her and the evidence is still present on her forehead.  Or, maybe it’s just Ash Wednesday.  Who knows?  Renee offers to accompany her daughter, Giana, to see her father in prison.  Yeah, that sounds like a great idea since you’re already all wound up over the Nora thing and the custody thing.  Giana didn’t find out that her dad was in prison until she was in 6th grade.  Just as all of the other wifey shows, the children have more sense than their parents (OK, not counting Assley).  Giana turns down Renee’s offer, because she knows her parents will just start arguing and Renee will smash her dad’s head into a bar.

No, no, no.  I’m not evil.  I’m religious.

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Sugarbush
About

Hi, there!  About me...well, let's see.  I like to think of myself as an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, shrouded in a mystery.  Sometimes my personality doesn't even reconcile in my own head.  I'm a really caring and sensitive person, but I have a dark, dry, sarcastic sense of humor which tends gives the impression that I have no soul.  I am married to a great guy who shares my sense of humor and we have a son who, both fortunately and unfortunately, has his mother's personality.   I'm an independent contractor who works from home and keeps the kid all day, everyday.  I've loved to write my whole life and have big, never-to-be-achieved dreams of one day writing a book.  My favorite past time is laughing, which is what brought me to this site.  I can laugh at almost anything, so beware.

16 Comments

  1. 1
    featherhead
    Posted July 9, 2012 at 1:24 pm

    Wow that Nora is gonna get the beat down of her life! She loves to throw bombs as long as there is an escape route! That bitch be quick!
    and now I love Pia too. I floved her shutting down Nora about Renee – her yelling you weren’t friend with her for fourty years – love her! There is something totally wrong with Nora, I wonder if she’s drunk all the time or just has a personality disorder? Either way her friends are dropping like flies. I predict at the reunion we’ll see Nora hobbling in on crutches with two black eyes!

  2. 2
    Clevegal42
    Posted July 9, 2012 at 5:41 pm

    Nora is like Chicago’s Stupid Cousin Suck Up. Very CSU like is that she is stirring up the most inconsquential shit yet stupid because while CSU mainly manages to stir shit and get people screaming at everyone else but her, Nora is such a dumbass that she gets everyone all pissed off at her and screaming at her.

    And that might be the only compliment I ever give CSU – she’s one crafty bitch.

    I’m dying to know what the clientelle is at Pia’s place of employment – she’s not all that great looking and now we find out that Nora worked there? Pia is no spring chicken and it is my understanding that rich old guys want to hang out with hot young strippers and old crusty strippers. Old moderately wealthy men? Middle aged rich men? Someone needs to explain this to me, please.

    At the birthday party, I actually felt a little bad for Nora and having no one show up at your birthday party. I have no friends and not only did people show up for my last birthday party, I even had a crasher. Of course, it was at a bar so that probably contributed to the attendance.

  3. 3
    hot cawfee
    Posted July 10, 2012 at 5:27 am

    Doesn’t C-Wow’s house have a For Sale sign out front??? Dang–I’d be a little more concerned about that other than my parent’s sitchy-ation. Then again tho, Little Cawfee was a practical kid–I mean hell–where was I going to store all my books?????

  4. 4
    NikkiHughes
    Posted July 10, 2012 at 8:16 am

    I love Renee so much. Nora is a psychotic punk-ass bitch. Hate.

    How is someone “retired” from the mob? I thought there was only ONE way out. :P

    How do you not tell your child that you are divorced from her dad? So strange.

    I wish someone recapped The Real Housewives of Vancouver. That show is amazing. :D

  5. 5
    labowner
    Posted July 10, 2012 at 10:01 am

    Oh how I love Renee and Leah.

    What is up with Nora? I am seeing why she has not spoken with her mom and sister in a while. If this were the old Love Line, Adam would be taking bets on what happened to her as a child.

    Nikki RHOV was awesome but sucks Christina is not coming back, but her and Kevin are doing a travel show which I can not wait to watch.

  6. 6
    NikkiHughes
    Posted July 10, 2012 at 1:04 pm

    Well that just sucks! I lurve Christina. Jody and Mia make me want to punch something. OH MAH GAH they are vile! :\

  7. 7
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted July 10, 2012 at 4:12 pm

    I went to an indoor go cart place once with a bunch of people from work. I was a fucking blast. We were crazy! It was so much fun and we were driving going as fast as we could and cutting each other off. When you go really fast you have to work your arm muscles to keep it straight. We did it over luch and when we went back to work my hand kept lifting off the paper when I was trying to write. I had to put my left hand over my right to do anything. We were all dying laughing at our arms floating involuntarily.

    Nora didn’t have anyone come to her party when she was a kid because she was a weird kid…kinda the way she is a weird adult. I hope Pia is the one to beat her ass.

    PS…I just got a new grandson this weekend! Damn I miss the forums!

  8. 8
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted July 10, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    congrats Sheesh!!! Another one! What’s the name this go round?

    I hope Pia beats Nora’s ass too. Based on the previews from next week some one’s ass is getting handed to them.

  9. 9
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted July 10, 2012 at 4:34 pm

    Parker…I do like this name. Well. I’m OK with this name.

    Oh man..did you see Renee go on the ground “beggin”.
    Thirsty bitch. Her and her weave.
    Did you watch Love and Hip Hop? Rodel annd I were whooping it up.

  10. 10
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted July 10, 2012 at 4:40 pm

    That has to be a lot of drinks to get on the ground begging for a fight.

    I definitely watched Love and Hip Hop. They say here on the radio that the fight was edited and Scrappy beat the crap out of Stevie J (yessssss!). to the point where he and Joseline had to go to the hospital. next week looks good also….

  11. 11
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted July 10, 2012 at 4:52 pm

    Oh oh. Rodel is gonna freak when I tell him!
    So Scrappy put “paws” on him.
    I am so using that anymore when I feel it necessary.

  12. 12
    featherhead
    Posted July 10, 2012 at 5:31 pm

    @Classy Drunk and Sheesh – I watched Love and Hip Hop too. Thanks for the info! I thought Scrappy got the better of Stevie, did you notice that Stevie almost went down when the security people were walking him away. His legs gave out and would have fallen if they didn’t have him by the arm. I hate Stevie and have a little crush on Scrappy – but DAMN his mother is certifiable.

  13. 13
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted July 10, 2012 at 5:38 pm

    Stevie was walking like he got kicked in his twigginberries (or he got his grapes stomped).

  14. 14
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted July 10, 2012 at 7:53 pm

    Sorry Sugarbush to hijack…I noticed that too feather. They say Stevie had a concussion. I hate Stevie with ever fiber of my being.

    Nora is like a friend I have. She is still 13 in her mind, but 40 in body. I don’t have a problem with go karting but if I have my heels and such on I don’t want to go go karting. I want to party.

    Note I still love Leah. She actually used words I knew this episode.

  15. 15
    featherhead
    Posted July 11, 2012 at 2:02 am

    @classy – to be fair (and I hate Nora) she did tell everyone to wear close toes shoes and no skirts. But the surprise was stupid. Pia mentioned it was nice of all of Pia’s friends to go to Nora’s party.

  16. 16
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted July 11, 2012 at 11:53 am

    That’s true Feather. And Pia was right that it was nice of HER friends to come to her birthday party.

    Sheesh and Feather with the new forums we can talk about Love and Hip Hop instead of hijacking Mob Wives. (sorry Sugarbush and other commentors.)

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