Mob Wives Chicago Recap: If You Don’t Like the Warm Weather, Leave the Kitchen

Recaps

By Sugarbush | Monday, July 2, 2012 | 1:36 pm | 11 Comments
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Posted in: Mob Wives Chicago, Recaps

 This week brings us more screwed up American colloquialisms and sleepy drama.  I warn you, if you haven’t watched this episode, it was incredibly boring up until the last 5 minutes.

We start out with Renee, Nora, and Julie.  Hopefully, Julie isn’t wearing one of Renee’s tops she loaned Nora or else the shit’s gonna hit the fan.  Renee’s acting as though Nora brought the bad attitude, but Renee seems as though she’s already pissed, too.  While I have no clue what it’s like to be connected, I find it hilarious that all of these women walk around 24/7 with the same attitude I have the week before and during my “monthly bill”.  I’m like a fire-breathing dragon with a Pringles can-sized stack of chips on its shoulder.  I hate being like that for 1 week a month, I can’t imagine living every day of my life like that. 

Renee is asking Nora if she’s OK and Nora’s playing the “I’m fine” card, but interviews to us that Renee is playing stupid because she knows she’s mad at her.  So, why don’t you just say it?  One thing I like about you girls is that you typically just say how you feel, let’s not start acting like the other Housewives.  Next thing you know, you’re all going to start kissing each other on each cheek when you meet up and calling each other “dahling”.  So, instead of fessing up that’s she’s pissed, Nora toasts Julie and singles her out for being a great, trustworthy friend, yada yada yada.

“A good friend never wears a black fedora to lunch.  You would never do that, Julie.”

Renee is seeing right through this so she just throws it out there.  Nora tells her she’s mad that she was late to her dad’s memorial.  Renee tells her she’s an idiot.  The cuss war ensures, so it’s a little hard to suss out what all is being said.  Nora’s apparent point is that Renee wasn’t there for her, but she was there for Renee when she had her ugly breakdown over the custody battle.  I think that’s fair, but Renee tells her to not throw shit in her face.  Renee asks if she wants blood, DNA, or money.  DNA?  Really?  Was a crime committed and she wants the fuzz thrown off the scent?  Maybe she’s going on Maury and needs to prove she’s NOT the father.  It comes to an abrupt end and they all three stick around to finish lunch.  That must have been as awkward as a fart in church.

Leah and C-Wow are chilling at a bar to rehash the meeting at the club over the swanky club fight.  Leah says that she gave Nora ample opportunity to apologize for the cold shoulder at THE ITALIAN FEST and she just explained it away.  I’m thinking Leah needs to drop this one.  I guess she resolves her beefs so well that this is all she had to go on for a story line.  By the way, how gorgeous does she look in interview this week?!  That’s it.  When I win the lottery, I’m hiring the interview makeup and hair team for this show.

Eh, don’t I look freakin’ fabulous?

Leah just wants Nora’s respect – she doesn’t care if they like one another.  C-Wow doesn’t think that everything is cool with Pia.  She feels badly that she talked so much shit about her behind her back and now their relationship is on the mend.  So, she plans to have a one-on-one with her to clear her conscience.  How mature of her.  I’m so confused.

Pia goes out to lunch with her daughter, who immediately asks for shopping money and then picks up her cell and starts texting.  Pia first asks her nicely to put down the phone while they’re talking.  When her daughter doesn’t stop, Pia snatches the phone away.  I love this woman.  If this were on RHONY, the mom would act like their daughter was doing nothing wrong while squirming over the disrespect.  Crack that whip, girls!

So, it seems this lunch was to tell her daughter that she’s getting her tatas redone. Ah, that’s the kind of lunch I love to have with my mom.  Her daughter asks her if she’s getting any other work done and she responds “not at this time”.  That bothers her daughter who asks if she’s going to change her face.  I hope these two can work harder on teaching each other the facts of life like this.  Pia can teach her daughter some friggin’ etiquette and her daughter can teach her that there’s no need to completely alter her appearance to be considered beautiful – two of my biggest pet peeves.

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Sugarbush
About

Hi, there!  About me...well, let's see.  I like to think of myself as an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, shrouded in a mystery.  Sometimes my personality doesn't even reconcile in my own head.  I'm a really caring and sensitive person, but I have a dark, dry, sarcastic sense of humor which tends gives the impression that I have no soul.  I am married to a great guy who shares my sense of humor and we have a son who, both fortunately and unfortunately, has his mother's personality.   I'm an independent contractor who works from home and keeps the kid all day, everyday.  I've loved to write my whole life and have big, never-to-be-achieved dreams of one day writing a book.  My favorite past time is laughing, which is what brought me to this site.  I can laugh at almost anything, so beware.

11 Comments

  1. 1
    featherhead
    Posted July 2, 2012 at 2:07 pm

    Nora’s a nut and that “sit down ” made me love Renee. I love how she sat there calmly and did not utter a word until the very end. And in my opinion she didn’t stick her finger in Nora’s face, she pointed her finger on her side of the table. My finger goes up when I’m mad too. Her being late to Nora’s dads memorial did not warrent the attitude Nora was giving her, she did show up and Nora has got to drop this crap about her dad dying – when she mentioned her mom and sister I knew there is much more to this story. I couldn’t believe she told Renee that she hopes she loses her daughter (as she was running out the door) she’s lucky Renee didn’t snatched her by the back of her head right there!

  2. 2
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted July 2, 2012 at 3:17 pm

    Thank you thank you THANK YOU!!
    Stupid DVR cut off right before it got good. Damn, Rodel loves him some confrontation and he missed it.

    I don’t get Nora’s storyline either. I think she’s a wackadoodle..I mean I really think she needs meds and a white coat. Memorial for her father….bah….I doubt she even knew him very well.

    I really want to know Leah’s secret for getting those curls. As a whitegirl blessed with frizzy hair I would die to get curls like that.

    I will watch because it’s Chicago, but so far they make Chicago look dirty.

  3. 3
    Sugarbush Sugarbush
    Posted July 2, 2012 at 3:35 pm

    @Sheesh, go to Vh1.com and see the clip. They don’t have episodes, but they’ve got clips and one of them is the fight scene. It’s pretty awesome. It kinda’ made up for the rest of the episode. When Renee slams Nora’s head into the bar and fell out. Bitch is bad. For real.

  4. 4
    sheesh
    Posted July 2, 2012 at 4:10 pm

    Renee is still no Drita.
    I’ll have to look as last night the vid wasn’t up.

  5. 5
    Chips.N.Whips
    Posted July 2, 2012 at 4:17 pm

    Christina looks like Alex Borstein (formerly of MAD TV – Miss Swan! – now known as voice of Family guy’s Lois).

    Loves me some Leah. I crack up whenever she’s onscreen.

    Keep up the good recaps!

  6. 6
    BelowSeaLevel BelowSeaLevel
    Posted July 2, 2012 at 4:56 pm

    @ Sugarbush, I’m cracking up at your writing the fight scene kinda made up for the rest of the episode. So true with tv. I need to start watching this show. Great recap!

  7. 7
    labowner
    Posted July 2, 2012 at 5:22 pm

    “Shoving your finger up a person’s butt just doesn’t seem threatening. It seems gross and a little sexual.” Planning on trying this with Mr. Sugarbush as well? :)

    Loves me some Leah and Renee. I do think Drita might even think these chicks are nuts.

    Not sure which one I am giggling more at “Satchels of fuckin gold” or “Aaaaand done”

    Sheesh I love watching the scenes and trying to figure out where they are (if they are in Chicago – ahem Schiller Park, Elmwood Park, Franklin Park, Cicero)

  8. 8
    JudgyWudgy
    Posted July 3, 2012 at 6:13 pm

    NOICE! I had no idea this show existed or how many episodes I’ve missed. But I’m so glad to discover it, and recaps I can stomach again. Wahoooooo!

  9. 9
    featherhead
    Posted July 3, 2012 at 6:49 pm

    @judgywudgy – I think this may be the third episode in. The rerun them often though. Its slow at first but now its getting good!

  10. 10
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted July 3, 2012 at 7:40 pm

    The loose curls are amazing Leah.

    Nora kept running after she did everything, throw drink, run, grab hand, run, ummm if you are going to “lay hands” on someone you have to be ready to fight.

  11. 11
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted July 5, 2012 at 10:54 am

    @Classy.
    I saw that a little differently.
    Nora throws drink..runs (come on after me Renee)
    Renee, “I’m coming for ya!”
    Nora comes back and grabs Renee’s hand..runs (come on Renee tape’s rolling)
    Renee, “When you least expect it. FINGER UP ASS!”
    Nora slumps shoulders and sighs. Goes back one more time BACKHAND! POW!
    Renee, ‘There won’t be a place you can…Muthafuck??!!”
    Nora, “Finally!”

    OK..that’s was an exaggeration, but for as much as Renee was talking about spreading Nora’s ass all over it took her long enough to get froggy.

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