Renee is chatting with a friend name Chrisy at a bar. Do these ladies do anything else? They’re always at a restaurant, bar, or club chatting with someone. Do they spend any time at home? With their kids? Scrubbing toilets? Finding good spots to bury a body? Surely they have to do something else. I haven’t watched any other Mob Wives shows, but I’m thinking we could use some Big Ang here.
Of course, what’s talked about is the issue of Renee being late to the memorial lunch. Renee says that she was late because her daughter was sick to her stomach. I’m not sure why she didn’t just say that in the first place if that was true. Chrisy says that friends don’t treat each other like Nora’s treating Renee. It seems that Renee has saved Nora’s phone from being disconnected, paid to get her nails done, and given her clothes and bags since she moved back from Florida. OK, now I see why she’s so pissed.
Wow! I asked and I received. Apparently, these women DO do something other than go out for food and drinks to chat. Nora and Pia go to the pet store to give their tiny dogs baths. You couldn’t have done this in the sink or tub at home? When they’re done, they lock the dogs into clothes dryers. Riveting.
Nora checks her messages and it happens. Like a cuss-word filled version of the Bethenney voicemail to Jill, it is a message from Renee. She doesn’t really explain anything to her. She just cusses her out the way girls would do to each other in middle school. I think we called that “telling off”. You remember if you were or had a friend who was a “badass”, they would get themselves all worked up over an argument with one of their girlfriends. They would plan to corner said girlfriend with some of her cronies and then just start cussing, like, “Oh, you think you’re all that? Oh no you’re not, you stupid fucking bitch. I’ll shove my foot up your ass so far it’ll come out your mouth.” And then they would walk off and never raise a finger. It was terrifying, I tell you. So, I’m sure it’s even more terrifying as an adult.
So, like a middle school girl on her period, Renee totally tells Nora off on her voicemail. That’s awfully ballsy of you, Renee… I hope she actually tells her why she’s pissed and let’s her ass cash that voicemail check. I’m sure they’ll do this at a restaurant or bar. Or maybe a swanky club. With no preface, Nora just plays it for Pia, so Pia thinks it’s insane. Renee’s also been sending her texts. She must have done all of this after a few shots, because I can’t imagine a grown woman who seems to have a brass set doing this. Of course, would it be a Housewives-type show if she didn’t act that way?
C-Wow meets up with Leah and her dad, Wolf and I’m seriously disappointed.
What I expected. What I got.
C-Wow dares Wolf to a drink-off, but he and Leah assure her that she would lose. Leah lives with her dad and they’re best friends. She tells us that her parents divorced when she was 9 months old and that her dad loved her so much that he threatened her mom if she didn’t let him have her. But not with violence, Leah says. Oh sure. As stereotypical as you guys have been, I would imagine that your parents are just as bad. This means that he would hit your mom. With a shovel. While wearing a white tank top undershirt. And bury her corpse in a remote area never to be found again.
Wolf asks C-Wow why she hasn’t told her parents that she’s divorced. She tells him that it’s because her dad is old school and doesn’t believe in divorce. Wolf says, “What is he gonna’ do, beat ya’?” Um, well, apparently that’s how you guys work, soooo… C-Wow continues to describe her father and he sounds like the Gorga parents. Oh good God. I hope no one asks her to go to therapy…oh wait. She’s already done that.