Nora and Pia are working out together just to have a different venue to discuss blood feuds. Nora’s problem is with Renee putting her finger in her face. She fails to mention her final, pre-bailout comment to Renee. I’m sure she did fail to mention that little bit while talking to a woman who also has raised her daughter on her own.
So, Pia arrives at the surgeon’s office where she’s receive the booby implants donated to her by Tamra Barney. The surgeon and his assistant have already removed Pia’s nipples and are hanging them overhead for positioning (sorry no pic, Vh1 doesn’t like to post full episodes but the spotlights totally looked like massive blue nipples).
I want my tits up to my throat.
Renee and Leah meet up at an internet café to talk shit about Nora. Renee turns down an offer of coffee by Leah, to preserve everyone’s health. Is it that it’ll get her more worked up or is it that she’ll throw it at someone? I don’t know these women well enough just yet to know. In reality, though, it is just her measly segue into the Nora fight. Renee tells Leah the line about losing her daughter, which, of course, sends Leah into a monologue about using weapon A to do violence B. Leah quotes her grandma: “Anyone’s mother could be the biggest whore on the street, but she’s still your mother.” I don’t recall ever hearing either of my grandmothers using the word “whore”. I can see where Leah gets her fire.
Leah does her beautiful interview about not knowing Nora’s side of the argument, but says she doesn’t really trust her anyway. Leah tells Renee that they had a meeting at the club to smooth things over and Renee is pissed to hear of Nora bandaid-ing things around her, but not resolving shit with her. Leah would have taken a knife and stabbed Nora with it. That’s the calmest act of violence I’ve heard from Leah so far. Renee one-ups her with shoving a grenade up Nora’s ass to make her go KABOOM. Nice one. I’ll find a chance this week to use that one on Mr. Sugarbush.
At home recovering is Pia and quickly Nora shows up in a very sexy, summery outfit. Wasn’t it just snowing at the gym? Maybe she saw the footage so far and realized she looks more like a pissed off Sister Wife than a sexy mafiosa.
Pia asks Nora what she’s going to do about Renee. She says Renee was low-blowing too much and it hurt, but that she’s not ready to throw away this relationship. Maybe Nora is drinking from the same water supply as Kelly Bensimon.
Satchels of gold, baby. Satchels of fuckin’ gold.
Pia can’t understand this simply because she hasn’t a clue what Nora said to Renee. All Pia has been clued in on are the angry voicemail and the drunk comments. Nora says all she wants is an apology and Pia agrees. Seeing as how Pia seems like a pretty fair person, I would really love to see what she thinks when she finds out what really went down.
Somewhere on a rooftop, Nora dramatically calls Renee to finally meetup. She hopes Renee has a good excuse for attacking her like she did. Well, if she didn’t then, she sure does now.
And now, for the meetup. Yay! We need some good drama here, because this episode has been spectacularly boring. Renee is ready to hear what Nora has to say. Nora is ready for her apology and won’t be around anymore if she doesn’t get it.
Nora starts. She says she doesn’t understand what happened the day of her dad’s memorial. She doesn’t get why Renee showed late and left early. She has done so much for her and that it isn’t “titter tat”. Again, these women really need to work on their American colloquialisms.
Nora’s wondering why Renee is just sitting there expressionless. Apparently, she’s thinking about how she’ll shove that grenade up Nora’s ass. Honestly, we have no idea what Nora has done or not done for Renee in the past, but do we really give a shit? I’m not invested enough in this group of women to really care about their history just yet.