Mob Wives Chicago Recap: If You Don’t Like the Warm Weather, Leave the Kitchen

Recaps

By Sugarbush | Monday, July 2, 2012 | 1:36 pm | 11 Comments
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Posted in: Mob Wives Chicago, Recaps

Nora and Pia are working out together just to have a different venue to discuss blood feuds.  Nora’s problem is with Renee putting her finger in her face.  She fails to mention her final, pre-bailout comment to Renee.  I’m sure she did fail to mention that little bit while talking to a woman who also has raised her daughter on her own.

So, Pia arrives at the surgeon’s office where she’s receive the booby implants donated to her by Tamra Barney.  The surgeon and his assistant have already removed Pia’s nipples and are hanging them overhead for positioning (sorry no pic, Vh1 doesn’t like to post full episodes but the spotlights totally looked like massive blue nipples).

I want my tits up to my throat.

Renee and Leah meet up at an internet café to talk shit about Nora.  Renee turns down an offer of coffee by Leah, to preserve everyone’s health.  Is it that it’ll get her more worked up or is it that she’ll throw it at someone?  I don’t know these women well enough just yet to know.  In reality, though, it is just her measly segue into the Nora fight.  Renee tells Leah the line about losing her daughter, which, of course, sends Leah into a monologue about using weapon A to do violence B.  Leah quotes her grandma: “Anyone’s mother could be the biggest whore on the street, but she’s still your mother.”  I don’t recall ever hearing either of my grandmothers using the word “whore”.  I can see where Leah gets her fire.

Leah does her beautiful interview about not knowing Nora’s side of the argument, but says she doesn’t really trust her anyway.  Leah tells Renee that they had a meeting at the club to smooth things over and Renee is pissed to hear of Nora bandaid-ing things around her, but not resolving shit with her.  Leah would have taken a knife and stabbed Nora with it.  That’s the calmest act of violence I’ve heard from Leah so far.  Renee one-ups her with shoving a grenade up Nora’s ass to make her go KABOOM.  Nice one.  I’ll find a chance this week to use that one on Mr. Sugarbush.

At home recovering is Pia and quickly Nora shows up in a very sexy, summery outfit.  Wasn’t it just snowing at the gym?  Maybe she saw the footage so far and realized she looks more like a pissed off Sister Wife than a sexy mafiosa.

Pia asks Nora what she’s going to do about Renee.  She says Renee was low-blowing too much and it hurt, but that she’s not ready to throw away this relationship.  Maybe Nora is drinking from the same water supply as Kelly Bensimon. 

Satchels of gold, baby.  Satchels of fuckin’ gold. 

Pia can’t understand this simply because she hasn’t a clue what Nora said to Renee.  All Pia has been clued in on are the angry voicemail and the drunk comments.  Nora says all she wants is an apology and Pia agrees.  Seeing as how Pia seems like a pretty fair person, I would really love to see what she thinks when she finds out what really went down. 

Somewhere on a rooftop, Nora dramatically calls Renee to finally meetup.  She hopes Renee has a good excuse for attacking her like she did.  Well, if she didn’t then, she sure does now.

And now, for the meetup.  Yay!  We need some good drama here, because this episode has been spectacularly boring.  Renee is ready to hear what Nora has to say.  Nora is ready for her apology and won’t be around anymore if she doesn’t get it. 

Nora starts.  She says she doesn’t understand what happened the day of her dad’s memorial.  She doesn’t get why Renee showed late and left early.  She has done so much for her and that it isn’t “titter tat”.  Again, these women really need to work on their American colloquialisms. 

Nora’s wondering why Renee is just sitting there expressionless.  Apparently, she’s thinking about how she’ll shove that grenade up Nora’s ass.  Honestly, we have no idea what Nora has done or not done for Renee in the past, but do we really give a shit?  I’m not invested enough in this group of women to really care about their history just yet. 

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Sugarbush
About

Hi, there!  About me...well, let's see.  I like to think of myself as an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, shrouded in a mystery.  Sometimes my personality doesn't even reconcile in my own head.  I'm a really caring and sensitive person, but I have a dark, dry, sarcastic sense of humor which tends gives the impression that I have no soul.  I am married to a great guy who shares my sense of humor and we have a son who, both fortunately and unfortunately, has his mother's personality.   I'm an independent contractor who works from home and keeps the kid all day, everyday.  I've loved to write my whole life and have big, never-to-be-achieved dreams of one day writing a book.  My favorite past time is laughing, which is what brought me to this site.  I can laugh at almost anything, so beware.

11 Comments

  1. 1
    featherhead
    Posted July 2, 2012 at 2:07 pm

    Nora’s a nut and that “sit down ” made me love Renee. I love how she sat there calmly and did not utter a word until the very end. And in my opinion she didn’t stick her finger in Nora’s face, she pointed her finger on her side of the table. My finger goes up when I’m mad too. Her being late to Nora’s dads memorial did not warrent the attitude Nora was giving her, she did show up and Nora has got to drop this crap about her dad dying – when she mentioned her mom and sister I knew there is much more to this story. I couldn’t believe she told Renee that she hopes she loses her daughter (as she was running out the door) she’s lucky Renee didn’t snatched her by the back of her head right there!

  2. 2
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted July 2, 2012 at 3:17 pm

    Thank you thank you THANK YOU!!
    Stupid DVR cut off right before it got good. Damn, Rodel loves him some confrontation and he missed it.

    I don’t get Nora’s storyline either. I think she’s a wackadoodle..I mean I really think she needs meds and a white coat. Memorial for her father….bah….I doubt she even knew him very well.

    I really want to know Leah’s secret for getting those curls. As a whitegirl blessed with frizzy hair I would die to get curls like that.

    I will watch because it’s Chicago, but so far they make Chicago look dirty.

  3. 3
    Sugarbush Sugarbush
    Posted July 2, 2012 at 3:35 pm

    @Sheesh, go to Vh1.com and see the clip. They don’t have episodes, but they’ve got clips and one of them is the fight scene. It’s pretty awesome. It kinda’ made up for the rest of the episode. When Renee slams Nora’s head into the bar and fell out. Bitch is bad. For real.

  4. 4
    sheesh
    Posted July 2, 2012 at 4:10 pm

    Renee is still no Drita.
    I’ll have to look as last night the vid wasn’t up.

  5. 5
    Chips.N.Whips
    Posted July 2, 2012 at 4:17 pm

    Christina looks like Alex Borstein (formerly of MAD TV – Miss Swan! – now known as voice of Family guy’s Lois).

    Loves me some Leah. I crack up whenever she’s onscreen.

    Keep up the good recaps!

  6. 6
    BelowSeaLevel BelowSeaLevel
    Posted July 2, 2012 at 4:56 pm

    @ Sugarbush, I’m cracking up at your writing the fight scene kinda made up for the rest of the episode. So true with tv. I need to start watching this show. Great recap!

  7. 7
    labowner
    Posted July 2, 2012 at 5:22 pm

    “Shoving your finger up a person’s butt just doesn’t seem threatening. It seems gross and a little sexual.” Planning on trying this with Mr. Sugarbush as well? :)

    Loves me some Leah and Renee. I do think Drita might even think these chicks are nuts.

    Not sure which one I am giggling more at “Satchels of fuckin gold” or “Aaaaand done”

    Sheesh I love watching the scenes and trying to figure out where they are (if they are in Chicago – ahem Schiller Park, Elmwood Park, Franklin Park, Cicero)

  8. 8
    JudgyWudgy
    Posted July 3, 2012 at 6:13 pm

    NOICE! I had no idea this show existed or how many episodes I’ve missed. But I’m so glad to discover it, and recaps I can stomach again. Wahoooooo!

  9. 9
    featherhead
    Posted July 3, 2012 at 6:49 pm

    @judgywudgy – I think this may be the third episode in. The rerun them often though. Its slow at first but now its getting good!

  10. 10
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted July 3, 2012 at 7:40 pm

    The loose curls are amazing Leah.

    Nora kept running after she did everything, throw drink, run, grab hand, run, ummm if you are going to “lay hands” on someone you have to be ready to fight.

  11. 11
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted July 5, 2012 at 10:54 am

    @Classy.
    I saw that a little differently.
    Nora throws drink..runs (come on after me Renee)
    Renee, “I’m coming for ya!”
    Nora comes back and grabs Renee’s hand..runs (come on Renee tape’s rolling)
    Renee, “When you least expect it. FINGER UP ASS!”
    Nora slumps shoulders and sighs. Goes back one more time BACKHAND! POW!
    Renee, ‘There won’t be a place you can…Muthafuck??!!”
    Nora, “Finally!”

    OK..that’s was an exaggeration, but for as much as Renee was talking about spreading Nora’s ass all over it took her long enough to get froggy.

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