Mob Wives Chicago Recap: Some Dads are Deadbeats, Some are Just Plain Dead

Recaps

By Sugarbush | Monday, July 30, 2012 | 8:44 am | 13 Comments
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Posted in: Mob Wives Chicago, Recaps

Welcome to the latest installment of the semi-connected women of Mob Wives Chicago!

We find out that the charity event of this season will be the breast cancer walk in honor of Leah’s mom.  At least this is legitimate and not some random charity where the drama can reach its peak.  I mean, the drama will probably reach its peak there, but not for nothing.

Meanwhile, Leah is channeling Weird Al.

Leah and C-Wow are at a bead shop getting stuff to bedazzle t-shirts for the walk.  The other girls that will be invited are going to meet up at C-Wow’s house to make the shirts.  Leah tells her that she’s going to be inviting Pia and Leah.  Not sure yet if Renee is invited as I didn’t hear her name mentioned.  C-Wow is sad that Pia is coming, what with their unnecessary drama right now.  However, she is THRILLED that Leah is kind enough to invite Nora.  It’s not that Leah likes Nora, but she knows she’d be the d-bag if she left her out – especially since it’s a charity event.

Giana, Renee’s daughter, goes to the silly pet spa with her friend to wash her own dog.  As if you can’t bathe a dachshund in your home sink or bathtub, but whatever.  I guess these people can’t have conversations at home. 

Giana tells us that she’s declining her mother’s request to accompany her.  Bad for us, but good in reality.  She is upset with her mom for keeping her from her father and only saying negative things about him.  Seeing as how he’s in prison for a murder rap, I imagine there aren’t many positive qualities.  And who wants to raise their child to see their own father behind bars forever and ever?  I think it’s perfect that her name is Giana, because this is basically Gia Guidice’s future, isn’t it?  Only Gia’s mom is a bit more batshit.

Stop using me just to have some camera time!  Pweeeze!

Nora is meeting up with her attorney to find out to get an operating table, a wench, some beakers and Bunsen burners, and a Jacob’s Ladder so she can reanimate her father’s corpse.  She’ll probably need to find herself a sidekick/assistant, too.  I guess she’ll have to use C-Wow since no one else will talk to her. 

Then the attorney asks, “Don’t you mean ‘exhume’ the body?”  Ah, whatever.  As she tells him the story of finding out her father was already buried and the coroner forgot to perform an autopsy, he appears to be looking for ways to quickly exit his office and get away from this loon. 

She wants to see his body herself and the attorney agrees that would make sense.  She’s glad he sees the logic in this endeavor and says, “Everyone else thinks I’m crazy!  Huh-huh-huh!” 

“Hmm…go figure, eh?”

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Sugarbush
About

Hi, there!  About me...well, let's see.  I like to think of myself as an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, shrouded in a mystery.  Sometimes my personality doesn't even reconcile in my own head.  I'm a really caring and sensitive person, but I have a dark, dry, sarcastic sense of humor which tends gives the impression that I have no soul.  I am married to a great guy who shares my sense of humor and we have a son who, both fortunately and unfortunately, has his mother's personality.   I'm an independent contractor who works from home and keeps the kid all day, everyday.  I've loved to write my whole life and have big, never-to-be-achieved dreams of one day writing a book.  My favorite past time is laughing, which is what brought me to this site.  I can laugh at almost anything, so beware.

13 Comments

  1. 1
    featherhead
    Posted July 30, 2012 at 9:01 am

    That lawyer’s faces were priceless! You could see the wheels turning on how to get Nutbag Nora out of his office pronto! Did you catch Nora telling that other guy that she wants to see her father’s body and make sure he had an autopsy? OMG – there is really something wrong with her! And Pia hitching that Nora is going around saying that she was on the pole for 15 years and C-Woww goes – but you were! Bwwhaha!!

  2. 2
    labowner
    Posted July 30, 2012 at 11:51 am

    Wow that has to be difficult having a murderer for a father. Wonder why it landed him in federal prison as opposed to the state pen? What were the extenuating circumstances that made it a federal charge? Poor lady.

    Leah can you get any better?

  3. 3
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 6:31 am

    So in the previews Giana chooses to believe her father over Renee.
    Also Renee is in a nasty custody battle with her other daughter’s father.
    What kind of beast is Renee?
    I know she is awful. Sending a text via C-Wow’s phone (juvenile), but she must be really bad if her own daughter sides with her incarcerated father over Renee.

    Pia and Leah had moms that were in gangs? Were these gangs like the Pink Ladies from “Grease”?

  4. 4
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 12:51 pm

    I haven’t seen the episode yet. Did Leah give us a word of the day?

  5. 5
    Sugarbush Sugarbush
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 12:53 pm

    @Classy – No, unfortunately she spoke mostly English the entire episode, which means I learned nothing.

  6. 6
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 1:58 pm

    Dammit! I was watching this show partly for it’s educational value. Italian slang and the history of mobsters in Chicago. or at least that’s what I told my mom I watched it for so she didn’t judge me.

  7. 7
    Sugarbush Sugarbush
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 3:51 pm

    Ha! I’ve used a similar excuse so that people wouldn’t judge me for watching Jersey Shore.

  8. 8
    labowner
    Posted July 31, 2012 at 5:06 pm

    No Classy but she did want cancer to be a loud mouth down the street she could take a bat to it.

  9. 9
    fancyface
    Posted August 1, 2012 at 12:05 pm

    Ok I haven’t read the recap yet but I have a burning question….Am I the only one that pauses my dvr to read the letters or articles they show on tv? Because if I am, I’m slightly ashamed (but not really) that I do it, but it is very informative! Especially when they flash a newspaper article about what’s going on in the show. If it’s interesting, I always pause to get the title or publication so that I can look it up and read the whole thing online. Well this time? It paid off as proof that VH1 is full of shit & must think we are dumb.

    So there I was listening to Giana tell the story of what her dad did & I immediately want to look it up and get all the details because I’m nosy like that, so I paused the screen to read the article & I’m still laughing at that shit. The article is entitled ‘Robbery turns deadly’ (which should have been my 1st clue that it was fake) and this it what says verbatim..typos & misspellings included:

    “Who framed roger rabbit..this is the movie of the century not it actuuall wasn’t I am am justq Coming up with jiberish fro me tw worite todf make this look like an actuea newspapper fffgfgf
    oh you like how i added the indintation likeI am actually writing a newspaper article Writting this is a lot more boring thatn i espected it to bel thiin I am down low enough to just duplicate thisa “Bam there I go again wieth anothe indentation aand this time I even added quotation marks” now I am just going to writer the wokds I here…”

    WHAT. THE. FUCK?!? bwhahahahahha. Those assholes are idiots & I need to find the name of the intern who wrote that shit so I can send him a muffin basket because that shit is priceless. I seriously laughed for at least 15 mins straight after reading it. It said more shit I couldn’t see under the pause graphic on my screen but then it just repeats itself in the 2nd column, but SERIOUSLY? REALLY? Why even include the fake articles in the show if you can’t find real ones & did they seriously think no one would see that shit? There isn’t anything they can do to make this shit look authentic so why all the nonsense? I. Can’t!

  10. 10
    Sugarbush Sugarbush
    Posted August 1, 2012 at 12:15 pm

    @Fancyface – Nice catch! I actually thought about going back to the episode to see if I could pause that article, because I couldn’t find a damn thing online about her dad. I wanted to find the whole story, since she kinda’ glossed over it. Now I’m going to HAVE to go back to see what it says. That’s hilarious!

    And you’re right. I’m finding that Nora is basically the only one who’s legit on this show, which must explain her insanity. I still love me some Leah, but the rest seem to be wannabes. Although, maybe we should look up those gangs that Leah’s and Pia’s moms were in. Maybe THEY are the mob connection here.

  11. 11
    labowner
    Posted August 1, 2012 at 3:31 pm

    http://www.sptimes.com/News/102800/Pasco/Jury_says_Carcione_gu.shtml

    Here is an article about the murder. Interstate commerce is why it was federal. Really, they had to kill a 78-year old lady?

  12. 12
    fancyface
    Posted August 1, 2012 at 4:05 pm

    @labowner….thanks for the link! Now, I’m confused, is her dad the Carcione person the article is about or the Volpe character? Because she said her dad owned the bakery & the article is saying the guy that ratted him out, Volpe, owned it. I do seem to recall her saying her ex was a dirty rat so I’m assuming he’s Volpe

  13. 13
    labowner
    Posted August 1, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    Giana’s last name is Volpe so I am going to assume that is the dad.

    Shoved flowers down her throat and wrapped her head in duct tape? WTF is wrong with some people.

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