The Viacom and DirecTV fiasco will not keep me down, y’all! I had to buy this episode from iTunes, so it had better be good. I want my $2.99 worth. Anyway, if you have DirecTV and didn’t get to see this episode, I’ve got it all right here. Taking the bullet for the rest of the DirecTV subscribers.
We return to Chicago where C-Wow is finishing up the high-class sweatshirt dress. Pia shows up and asks if the dress is for her. C-Wow is reluctant to disappoint her when she tells her it’s for Renee, but Pia’s actually relieved. What, Pia? You won’t want to look like you were cleaning the house and going for a jog just before you came to the party? Pia brings up the fact that Nora’s worried about C-Wow’s party, because Renee’s going to be there. She tells C-Wow that she and Renee don’t get along, either, but that’s not going to stop her from supporting C-Wow. So, she tells C-Wow that she asked Nora why, exactly, Renee doesn’t like her. “Because you’re a stripper”, she replies. Pia counters that she doesn’t like being called a stripper, because she doesn’t take off her panties. Well, that’s still technically a stripper. It’s cool, just own it! I don’t look down on people stripping or whoring to make ends meet. Not at all. I only look down on people who look down on those people when they do the same shit, just in a different way. Stripocrites, I guess.
Anywho, so Pia reveals that Renee hung out with Nora despite the fact that Nora used to dance, too. C-Wow and thousands of other viewers just threw up in their mouths at the thought. C-Wow wonders why Pia doesn’t bring up that point with Renee. Pia won’t do it, because she’s not a rat. Man, I really, really like Pia. All of a sudden, C-Wow really likes Nora while no one else does. I guess it’s in her contract with Vh1.
C-Wow is going through the same emotions that all of the other party-throwing housewives have gone through, because it’s part of the formula to throw a party when no one is getting along. Then, Pia goes from 0 to 100 about the Nora situation. Holy moly, these women just don’t escalate at all. They straight up blow out of nowhere.
At Nora’s, she’s on the phone with the funeral home trying to get the records to prove her dad was the one buried. She’s freaking out over the fact that the recordkeeper is saying that the information is private. You could exhume the body, says the recordkeeper. “So, you’re saying alls I have to do is resume the body?!”
I don’t think that’s what she meant, Nora.
Lately, Renee feels her life is filled with bullshit, so she meets up with Leah. Well, of all of the players on reality TV, Leah is definitely the one with the least amount of bullshit. It’ll take a lot for me to fall out of love with her.
Renee tells Leah about Nora going at her daughter to which Leah replies that words like that will put her right next to her father…wherever the hell he is. Tee hee! Good one, Leah. And perfectly timed, I might add.
Apparently, Nora used to be hot, but somewhere along the ride she took a running leap headfirst into the wall.
Meanwhile, Renee’s reminding me of Kathy Lee with too much pink makeup.
Renee plans to bring up this beef at the party, of course, because there’s no better or more appropriate place to start a fight than at a party where you’re supposed to have fun.
Dave is at Eye Candy Optics where Renee starts in on the Nora situation. Dave still doesn’t give a rat’s ass and it’s pissing her off. So, next Renee tells him about an optical expo that she’s attending in the next couple of days. He flips, because she told him at the last minute and they’re booked. They start to scream at each other when a customer walks in. They shut it down…for like 30 seconds. The customer is sitting there waiting to set up an appointment and they just start cussing at one another. But remember, Renee doesn’t cuss in her store. That would be classless.