Mob Wives Chicago Recap: Talk to the Hand ’cause It Just Fell Off

Recaps

By Sugarbush | Tuesday, July 17, 2012 | 6:00 am | 13 Comments
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Posted in: Mob Wives Chicago, Recaps

The Viacom and DirecTV fiasco will not keep me down, y’all!  I had to buy this episode from iTunes, so it had better be good.  I want my $2.99 worth.  Anyway, if you have DirecTV and didn’t get to see this episode, I’ve got it all right here.  Taking the bullet for the rest of the DirecTV subscribers.

We return to Chicago where C-Wow is finishing up the high-class sweatshirt dress.  Pia shows up and asks if the dress is for her.  C-Wow is reluctant to disappoint her when she tells her it’s for Renee, but Pia’s actually relieved.  What, Pia?  You won’t want to look like you were cleaning the house and going for a jog just before you came to the party?  Pia brings up the fact that Nora’s worried about C-Wow’s party, because Renee’s going to be there.  She tells C-Wow that she and Renee don’t get along, either, but that’s not going to stop her from supporting C-Wow.  So, she tells C-Wow that she asked Nora why, exactly, Renee doesn’t like her.  “Because you’re a stripper”, she replies.  Pia counters that she doesn’t like being called a stripper, because she doesn’t take off her panties.  Well, that’s still technically a stripper.  It’s cool, just own it!  I don’t look down on people stripping or whoring to make ends meet.  Not at all.  I only look down on people who look down on those people when they do the same shit, just in a different way.  Stripocrites, I guess. 

Anywho, so Pia reveals that Renee hung out with Nora despite the fact that Nora used to dance, too.  C-Wow and thousands of other viewers just threw up in their mouths at the thought.  C-Wow wonders why Pia doesn’t bring up that point with Renee.  Pia won’t do it, because she’s not a rat.  Man, I really, really like Pia.  All of a sudden, C-Wow really likes Nora while no one else does.  I guess it’s in her contract with Vh1. 

C-Wow is going through the same emotions that all of the other party-throwing housewives have gone through, because it’s part of the formula to throw a party when no one is getting along.  Then, Pia goes from 0 to 100 about the Nora situation.  Holy moly, these women just don’t escalate at all.  They straight up blow out of nowhere.

At Nora’s, she’s on the phone with the funeral home trying to get the records to prove her dad was the one buried.  She’s freaking out over the fact that the recordkeeper is saying that the information is private.  You could exhume the body, says the recordkeeper.  “So, you’re saying alls I have to do is resume the body?!” 

I don’t think that’s what she meant, Nora.

Lately, Renee feels her life is filled with bullshit, so she meets up with Leah.  Well, of all of the players on reality TV, Leah is definitely the one with the least amount of bullshit.  It’ll take a lot for me to fall out of love with her.

Renee tells Leah about Nora going at her daughter to which Leah replies that words like that will put her right next to her father…wherever the hell he is.  Tee hee!  Good one, Leah.  And perfectly timed, I might add. 

Apparently, Nora used to be hot, but somewhere along the ride she took a running leap headfirst into the wall. 

Meanwhile, Renee’s reminding me of Kathy Lee with too much pink makeup.

Renee plans to bring up this beef at the party, of course, because there’s no better or more appropriate place to start a fight than at a party where you’re supposed to have fun.

Dave is at Eye Candy Optics where Renee starts in on the Nora situation.  Dave still doesn’t give a rat’s ass and it’s pissing her off.  So, next Renee tells him about an optical expo that she’s attending in the next couple of days.  He flips, because she told him at the last minute and they’re booked.  They start to scream at each other when a customer walks in.  They shut it down…for like 30 seconds.  The customer is sitting there waiting to set up an appointment and they just start cussing at one another.  But remember, Renee doesn’t cuss in her store.  That would be classless.

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Sugarbush
About

Hi, there!  About me...well, let's see.  I like to think of myself as an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, shrouded in a mystery.  Sometimes my personality doesn't even reconcile in my own head.  I'm a really caring and sensitive person, but I have a dark, dry, sarcastic sense of humor which tends gives the impression that I have no soul.  I am married to a great guy who shares my sense of humor and we have a son who, both fortunately and unfortunately, has his mother's personality.   I'm an independent contractor who works from home and keeps the kid all day, everyday.  I've loved to write my whole life and have big, never-to-be-achieved dreams of one day writing a book.  My favorite past time is laughing, which is what brought me to this site.  I can laugh at almost anything, so beware.

13 Comments

  1. 1
    chamar62590 Chamar
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 9:43 am

    I had absolutely no plans to watch this show, I didn’t even watch the original Mob Wives, but one sleepless night I came across this little gem, and (it kills me to admit it) I faithfully watch it. C-Wow’s comment about using your fist instead of your words makes sense, however when someone makes an accusation like Nora did in a room full of people, I would probably do exactly what Renee did. Nora reminds me of that bitchy girl from high school who tries to come off nice but in reality is the root of all rumors and drama. And p.s. I am totally with you on the Leah love!!

  2. 2
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 9:55 am

    I loved the recap! I need to watch this mess again before I can chime in.

    “The German” wine…” So good it’ll kill ya!”

  3. 3
    labowner
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 10:26 am

    Sugar we need Leah to be the benchmark for sanity.

  4. 4
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 10:44 am

    Before I read I will say that this episode was worth $3.

  5. 5
    Sunshine
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 10:53 am

    Nora is a train wreck and I can’t stop watching her ….

    Your father (the murderer) who is so classy is dead….leave his body alone and get on with your life. I assume she doesn’t speak with the rest of the family who had him buried without telling her. LOL…

    She is going to get her ass kicked big time if she keeps her mouth open with these horrible things she says about father rape and losing your child….Renee is not someone I would mess with because she is crazy too.

    This is my new guilty pleasure…give me these girls over Theresa and the gang any night.

  6. 6
    featherhead
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 11:05 am

    C-Woww totally instigated that Nora pile-on. Pia was being cordial to Nutcase Nora, but C-Woww kept egging her on to confront NN right there and now. (I thought she didn’t want any fights at her party?) NN does not know when to shut her mouth and Renee is going to wipe the floor with her. I can’t wait till next week, damn it’s getting better episode by episode!!

  7. 7
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 11:23 am

    I agree @featherhead. C-Wow just wasn’t making any sense when she was talking about not hitting people and friends shouldn’t solve shit with their fists.
    When she was talking I cocked my head to the side and said, “Well that’s odd coming from her”

  8. 8
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 11:29 am

    I love that they feed these women alcohol for these parties. Before they even get there they seem to be loaded. I LOVE it!!!

    I also love Leah, she is so awesome! And Nora might need to shut her mouth because she got mushed in the face by Pia and scratched up by Renee and if you think Renee is going to let it go that she said her father used to molest her then she is sadly mistaken. but I am giddy about it and can’t wait for next week’s episode.

  9. 9
    NikkiHughes
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 1:11 pm

    I kinda love these women because there isn’t episode after episode of playing telephone until the end of the season party when something might happen. These gals are not playing around. I love Renee. And Nora is such a batshit crazy bitch! UGGH! However, I must say, between her inability to move her mouth correctly when she talks and her utter stupidity when it comes to the English language, her interviews are laugh out loud worthy.
    These ladies have the wannabes of the original MW beat by a mile, IMO. :D

  10. 10
    featherhead
    Posted July 18, 2012 at 7:32 am

    When Nutcase Nora acutally resumes her father’s body – How in the world does she think that she’ll know it is really him? I would think bones kinda look all the same… So if she wants a DNA test done to prove it is really her Dad, won’t that cost money? Which we know Nora doesn’t have since she had to borrow everything from Renee. I would love to know what’s up with her family and her? When Pia wasn’t mad at her and felt bad that Nora didn’t have anyone but her, I was yelling at the TV – there is usually a reason why she has nobody else!!

  11. 11
    Sasha Tang
    Posted July 18, 2012 at 9:26 am

    Did anyone watch the two bonus clips of this episode at vh1.com? In the second one, Leah confronts Nora in the bathroom still upset about ITALIAN FEST! Nora tries to explain about her trust issues again. Why was Leah hitting Nora when she was down and in the midst of getting attacked by Pia and Renee? It seemed out of character for Leah, whom I love.

  12. 12
    labowner
    Posted July 18, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    Sasha – she’s a balloon head. :)

  13. 13
    Rudy
    Posted July 30, 2012 at 10:08 am

    This is the worst show in the history of television. Even bird diffoggio would not be dumb enough to watch it. I hope the producers go to jail for false entertainment. The producers had to violate some tv standard for quality with this show ha
    ve the fbi look into this

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