Mob Wives Chicago Recap: Talk to the Hand ’cause It Just Fell Off

Recaps

By Sugarbush | Tuesday, July 17, 2012 | 6:00 am | 13 Comments
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Posted in: Mob Wives Chicago, Recaps

In honor of her maybe-dead father, Nora is making a wine.  Despite the fact that her dad murdered people for a living, she feels that he belongs up there with the Kennedys, presidents, and war vets.  The first two make sense seeing as how there’s a lot of murder and betrayal, but not the war vets.  Leave them out of your weird homage, please.

Pia goes to workout with her friend who is also a stripper.  Turns out Nora was FIRED from the strip joint.  Are you serious?!  How exactly does one get fired from a strip joint?  In walks Leah who claims her workout consists of ball-busting.  Leah wants everyone to drop the Nora thing, because it’s getting so old.  I agree, Leah, but what will this show be about if there’s no Nora drama?  Leah won’t allow Nora to ruin C-Wow’s party, but Pia says if Nora does anything she’s going to nip it in the bud.

Nora meets up with her only friend, C-Wow.  Nora tells her that she’s creating a wine in honor of her dead/undead father.  She tells her that whenever she takes a drink of the wine it’ll be like Communion – drinking the blood of her father.  C-Wow is taking this all in very graciously, but later basically laughs for the duration of the interview.  She held it together really well.  I would have snarfed my Diet Coke all over Nora.  I’m not that great at hiding my emotions.

So, from zombie fathers to having beef, Nora tells C-Wow about the problem between her and everyone else.  Nora figures she and Pia will recover, but she and Renee will not.  C-Wow is told she won’t need to keep an eye on Nora, but should keep it on Renee and Pia.  Nora wouldn’t do such a thing – she has more respect than that.  We shall see, since I heard her say something about balls in mouth in the previews.

Back at C-Wows, Leah whips out a shitton of makeup and clothes so she can look her best at the party.  Instead of looking her best, she’s going to look like she does in the “live footage” rather than the interview footage.  Hopefully in following seasons, she’ll use the makeup and hair artists from the show.  She’s terrible at hair and makeup, but she totally makes up for that in a badass personality.

Nora brings a date named Debbie.  I wonder if Debbie will get wasted and break off a piece of bow on C-Wow’s cake?  That would be awesome.  Nora warns Debbie that if the shit hits the fan, she’s taking off through the nearest exit.  No kidding, Nora.  I think we all know that you will surely run away from a fight after starting it.

C-Wow’s party has started and shortly Nora shows.  Despite the fact that C-Wow greeted her so nicely, Nora starts in on asking whether or not Pia and Renee are late…

Kamila and Pia are in a limo together on their way to the party.  Kamila thinks that Nora is the root of all of the problems and Pia’s afraid of C-Wow leaving her for Nora.  They show up to the party and Pia blows off Nora.  C-Wow notices that Pia seems off today, but gets this false sense of comfort between Pia and Nora.  Oh C-Wow, don’t you ever watch these kinds of shows.  No party ever goes off without a fight.  Ever.

A few hours later, Renee is coming with one of her friends.  Renee wants to tie Nora to a stake while piranhas bite her to death.  Never a simple death with these broads.  Renee says that she will handle herself like a lady, as long as no one fucks with her.

Nora says that she and Pia have a love/hate relationship when C-Wow gets all excited about them getting along.  Pia, instead, says that she doesn’t like love/hate relationships because they’re draining.  Pia tells C-Wow that she’s not cool with Nora and is really upset and angry.  Leah points out to us that C-Wow is playing with fire, which we already knew.  Don’t stop her, Leah, this is what we want.  Stop acting like a damn adult!

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Sugarbush
About

Hi, there!  About me...well, let's see.  I like to think of myself as an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, shrouded in a mystery.  Sometimes my personality doesn't even reconcile in my own head.  I'm a really caring and sensitive person, but I have a dark, dry, sarcastic sense of humor which tends gives the impression that I have no soul.  I am married to a great guy who shares my sense of humor and we have a son who, both fortunately and unfortunately, has his mother's personality.   I'm an independent contractor who works from home and keeps the kid all day, everyday.  I've loved to write my whole life and have big, never-to-be-achieved dreams of one day writing a book.  My favorite past time is laughing, which is what brought me to this site.  I can laugh at almost anything, so beware.

13 Comments

  1. 1
    chamar62590 Chamar
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 9:43 am

    I had absolutely no plans to watch this show, I didn’t even watch the original Mob Wives, but one sleepless night I came across this little gem, and (it kills me to admit it) I faithfully watch it. C-Wow’s comment about using your fist instead of your words makes sense, however when someone makes an accusation like Nora did in a room full of people, I would probably do exactly what Renee did. Nora reminds me of that bitchy girl from high school who tries to come off nice but in reality is the root of all rumors and drama. And p.s. I am totally with you on the Leah love!!

  2. 2
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 9:55 am

    I loved the recap! I need to watch this mess again before I can chime in.

    “The German” wine…” So good it’ll kill ya!”

  3. 3
    labowner
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 10:26 am

    Sugar we need Leah to be the benchmark for sanity.

  4. 4
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 10:44 am

    Before I read I will say that this episode was worth $3.

  5. 5
    Sunshine
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 10:53 am

    Nora is a train wreck and I can’t stop watching her ….

    Your father (the murderer) who is so classy is dead….leave his body alone and get on with your life. I assume she doesn’t speak with the rest of the family who had him buried without telling her. LOL…

    She is going to get her ass kicked big time if she keeps her mouth open with these horrible things she says about father rape and losing your child….Renee is not someone I would mess with because she is crazy too.

    This is my new guilty pleasure…give me these girls over Theresa and the gang any night.

  6. 6
    featherhead
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 11:05 am

    C-Woww totally instigated that Nora pile-on. Pia was being cordial to Nutcase Nora, but C-Woww kept egging her on to confront NN right there and now. (I thought she didn’t want any fights at her party?) NN does not know when to shut her mouth and Renee is going to wipe the floor with her. I can’t wait till next week, damn it’s getting better episode by episode!!

  7. 7
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 11:23 am

    I agree @featherhead. C-Wow just wasn’t making any sense when she was talking about not hitting people and friends shouldn’t solve shit with their fists.
    When she was talking I cocked my head to the side and said, “Well that’s odd coming from her”

  8. 8
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 11:29 am

    I love that they feed these women alcohol for these parties. Before they even get there they seem to be loaded. I LOVE it!!!

    I also love Leah, she is so awesome! And Nora might need to shut her mouth because she got mushed in the face by Pia and scratched up by Renee and if you think Renee is going to let it go that she said her father used to molest her then she is sadly mistaken. but I am giddy about it and can’t wait for next week’s episode.

  9. 9
    NikkiHughes
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 1:11 pm

    I kinda love these women because there isn’t episode after episode of playing telephone until the end of the season party when something might happen. These gals are not playing around. I love Renee. And Nora is such a batshit crazy bitch! UGGH! However, I must say, between her inability to move her mouth correctly when she talks and her utter stupidity when it comes to the English language, her interviews are laugh out loud worthy.
    These ladies have the wannabes of the original MW beat by a mile, IMO. :D

  10. 10
    featherhead
    Posted July 18, 2012 at 7:32 am

    When Nutcase Nora acutally resumes her father’s body – How in the world does she think that she’ll know it is really him? I would think bones kinda look all the same… So if she wants a DNA test done to prove it is really her Dad, won’t that cost money? Which we know Nora doesn’t have since she had to borrow everything from Renee. I would love to know what’s up with her family and her? When Pia wasn’t mad at her and felt bad that Nora didn’t have anyone but her, I was yelling at the TV – there is usually a reason why she has nobody else!!

  11. 11
    Sasha Tang
    Posted July 18, 2012 at 9:26 am

    Did anyone watch the two bonus clips of this episode at vh1.com? In the second one, Leah confronts Nora in the bathroom still upset about ITALIAN FEST! Nora tries to explain about her trust issues again. Why was Leah hitting Nora when she was down and in the midst of getting attacked by Pia and Renee? It seemed out of character for Leah, whom I love.

  12. 12
    labowner
    Posted July 18, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    Sasha – she’s a balloon head. :)

  13. 13
    Rudy
    Posted July 30, 2012 at 10:08 am

    This is the worst show in the history of television. Even bird diffoggio would not be dumb enough to watch it. I hope the producers go to jail for false entertainment. The producers had to violate some tv standard for quality with this show ha
    ve the fbi look into this

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