Renee sets up a spa day for all of the girls, except Carla. What’s this? Renee, who has heretofore been the queen of “why can’t these bitches be on time,” has flaked on her own event. Karen and Drita both show up, and after some initial awkwardness, start talking to each other as actual people. They talk at cross purposes. Drita talks about Lee coming back and Karen talks about Dave moving on. I have a feeling there was some splicing of the conversation, but I let it go because I don’t want Drita to lose her chance at a spinoff just because she has a beef with Jennifer G’s BFF.
Renee, has totally blown off the spa day to hang out with CousinSuckUp and give her a shot at a story line.
Did you guys know that CousinSuckUp’s grandfather was Lefty Two Guns? Did you know that Al Pacino played Lefty in a movie called Donnie Brasco? Did you know that CousinSuckUp actually spoke to Pacino? Did you know that Lefty died of cancer and not in a hail of bullets?
Because, anyone who actually saw Donnie Brasco didn’t know those things, apparently. I honestly can’t figure out if I hate CSU because she keeps bringing up Donnie Brasco, or if it’s because she is so obvious about never having actually seen the movie. Who am I kidding? I hate CousinSuckUp because she’s CousinSuckUp.
CousinSuckUp tells Renee that she wants to hold a memorial for her grandfather. Even though he passed away a couple of decades before CousinSuckUp was sentient, she wants to memorialize him. Here is the thing that bugs me about this entire interaction:
CousinSuckUp isn’t doing this to honor her grandfather. She’s doing this for a storyline. And, it’s not only completely transparent, it’s downright distasteful, not to mention desperate.
But, Renee is completely onboard. She had to have an on camera excuse to miss the spa day, otherwise Jennifer might be mad and undo this “Renee goes to rehab and blames all of her problems on Carla,” storyline and she would have to be held accountable for her own actions. So, they walk through an unblemished Little Italy while they reminisce about the days when they were Mafia Princesses.
It’s totally gag-worthy, but it’s also kind of worth it to see CousinSuckUp trying to make both of her eyes point in the same direction while Renee makes sure we all know that this is all about her.
Meanwhile, Big Ang(Yay!) is hanging with Carla. I think they are shopping for lights, or sweater vests for their dogs or something. Carla is getting advice about the legal aspects of divorce from Ang. And, since Ang is the only one of these women to have come through multiple divorces, I would do the same thing if I were in Carla’s shoes.