Big Ang’s saying is “Get over it.” Then Drita says, “I say muthafucker all the time.” Karen says that Drita also says, “1000 percent.”
As Drita laughingly agrees with Karen, and Karen starts to elaborate, CousinSuckUp cuts Karen off and says “OMG people get so tired of us saying 100 percent, 100 percent, 100 percent that’s all we say.” It was really brief, but Karen gives Ramona a “WTF” look after looking at Drita. You can almost see Karen realizing she may have made a mistake in bring CousinSuckUp into the group.
I then have the following rant while chugging wine: Bitch, we got your number. You wanted to come on the show and make a name for yourself. Now you’re stuck as Karen’s dingleberry. Sorry, CousinSuckUp.You truly earned both monikers. Now, you have to live with it. And the best part is that you can’t be released until Karen decides to wipe her ass.
It’s actually very fitting for you, CousinSuckUp. You climbed your way to where you are, and now you are stuck there. Even if all of the fan dislike you have garnered doesn’t get you kicked off for the next season, you will have to cling to Karen for any tiny bit of relevancy.
It’s time to introduce Big Ang (yay!) as the newest Mob Wife. And there she is in all her delightful glory. I’m going to start greeting everyone with “Hi, my baby!” – I just hope I can get the voice right.
We see the Montage of Big Ang (I’m totally going to use “Montage of Big Ang” as the name of the rock band I imagine I’m going to start some day). Anyway, everybody loves Big Ang!
I’m totally wining this thing, My Baby!
Big Ang says that no one ever bothers her because she doesn’t want the drama. She doesn’t want the stress of it because she is trying to stay young. OMG! I love her so. She explains that she has had 3 boob jobs because, while she always had big boobs, after having her kids, they started to sag and flatten. She said the were so bad, she could actually tuck them into her pants.
That was just another major moment in which I could make a Drag Queen joke but took the high road instead. I realize now that comparing Big Ang to a drag queen is just too easy. Besides, the best Drag Queens in the world are vying to pull off a perfect Big Ang and they aren’t even coming close.
Keep trying, My Babies! You’ll get it right eventually!
When asked what size she is officially, Big Ang dithers and then admits she is a 36-J. And as everyone cracks up, we hear CousinSuckUp say, “J for giant.” Seriously, she thinks Giant starts with a J! And she says it after Renee says that it’s “J for Jumbo.” Then, we get this awesome shot of everyone looking anywhere but at her as she nervously adjusts her dress.
What? If you really think about, J could totally stand for Giant.
Joy, turns to CousinSuckUp and talks about how quickly she made a name for herself. Yes, Joy. She definitely made a name for herself – CousinSuckUp, AKA, that dingleberry clinging to Karen’s asshole for dear life.
Moving on. There is this whole Lucifer/Lucifina discussion, that I really don’t care about because, let’s face it, her name is CousinSuckUp. I do love the fact that as she is waxing poetic about her grandfather, Big Ang and Joy are having a completely different conversation about whether or not mob guys are handsome. It’s like they knew that none of us cared about CousinSuckUp. But, then Joy refocuses and both Carla and Big Ang look like they are barely awake while listening to CousinSuckUp’s white noise of a story line.
Big Ang: Why is she talking? She sucks, My Babies!
Carla: I can’t believe she thought she was relevant to anything