Mrs. Eastwood and Company Recap: Morgified

Last week we met Tyler’s parents, Martha and Jerry, who completely explain why Tyler is such a fuck up just by their actions. Tyler really stepped up to the douchebag plate by letting his family drama play out on national television for all to see. All the fighting and drama didn’t sway Fran who is still determined to marry Tyler.  

This is your future Morgan.

This week begins with who goes to get coffee from a local store and spots a huge Clint poster and offers to have it signed. I’m pretty sure this isn’t her first time in this coffee shop and I’m sure that sign has been there for years. Anyway she takes off with the sign down the street while Morgan stands by on her phone wondering why her mother chose now of all times to get this particular picture signed. Later Morgan and Dina are driving either through a gas station or to get some gas when a man throws a lit cigarette out the window of his car a few feet away from the actual gas station. Dina freaks out and runs out of the car to grab the cigarette from under the man’s car. Morgan is mortified and it gets worse when two seniors from her school emerge from the gas station and she realizes they saw the entire thing. Dina tries to get away but is stuck between some cars and can only proceed forward which means passing by the senior boys. Of course instead of just driving by she not only slows down but rolls the window down to say hi as Morgan sinks into her chair as low as she can. Morgan then starts crying and freaking out while Dina looks on not understanding what the big deal is.

Cigarette Police. You know she just wanted to steal a drag.

Oh HAI Senior boys!

I would be more embarassed at your face right now.

At home, Dina explains the situation to Lisa who says that sometimes you have to back off as a parent and that Dina made the situation worse by not listening to Morgan and drawing attention to the guys. Dina calls her life coach who reminds her that just because she wasn’t able to express her feelings of weakness as a child she shouldn’t expect the same from Morgan. On the way to school the next morning, Dina apologizes to Morgan who accepts and makes her promise not to embarrass her in public again. I’m pretty sure that promise won’t last but let’s hope that it does for Morgan’s sake. We wouldn’t want her to get Farrah Face again in front of her friends.

Seriously though, he couldn’t cut the bread into bigger pieces?

Fran joins Dom and his wife Jade at the Mann Theater where they view Groucho Marx’s (Jade’s grandfather) square which actually touches Clint’s square. Dom says this spot is where they realized they would be together forever and ends up re-proposing to her. I don’t get the point of proposing several times unless you were at a spot where you were planning to divorce. Why would you need to re-establish your relationship if it was already solid? Anyway this inspires Fran to tell us a million times how much Tyler is the one for her and that she knows she will be with him forever. Seriously Fran, try other dick before you commit because I have a feeling you are REALLY missing out on bigger and better (puns intended). Fran and Dom discuss how Fran has taken nudes for Tyler (DUH! Bitch doesn’t own any clothing except yellow towels, black shirts and black leggings) and how he’s her future husband and would never release them. Two things: We’ve seen her naked like 4 times already and does anyone REALLY want to see her naked? I can find you curious ones some pasty no boob no ass girls if you really want to see. I digress…Fran tries on engagement rings with Dom who knows that anything he says won’t penetrate her thick head so he just asks if Ty needs to open a new back account. Why would he need another bank account since he can afford a $100,000 Birkin (*cough*…sorry choking over here). Later during a staged moment at Ty’s, Fran and Ty have a home cooked meal where Ty slips a ring into his pants. Before he even sits down Fran is staring at his package (probably because the ring added some much needed growth…dick around Fran, I’m telling you!) which prompts her to sit on his lap. She grabs the package thinking it’s a ring and gets disappointed when it’s just a diamond necklace.

Because pockets are non-existent on skinny jeans.

That Viagra works quickly Ty!

Fran’s dumb. Ring boxes are smaller and fatter.