Hello all! We have reached the second to last episode of this year’s My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding season. And, oh, what an episode it is. I’m sure we all know that it has been beaten into our heads all season that gypsy women marry at 16 or 17 and how sacred the male and female roles are in the gypsy community. Well, we have thrown all of that right out the door. This week we have a 25 year old marrying her cousin and a gypsy lesbian wedding. It does appear that these are new gypsies – I don’t see Mellie anywhere.
Don’t forget about me or I’ll beat the shit out of you.
We are headed to Roanoke Rapids, North Carolina, where we meet Romanichel gypsy Annie. She is marrying her first cousin, Josh. Josh tells us that they just clicked. Evidently, if you get along with your cousin, the only option is to marry them. I get along with my cousins, but we were always content to just hang out or play together. How silly.
Annie is defying the whole ‘gypsy women marry young’ thing, because she is at the ripe old age of 26. Her and Josh’s relationship is under scrutiny, but not for the reason you would think. It seems that in the gypsy culture, marrying a first cousin is not uncommon. It is acceptable, but the fact that they are living together out of wedlock is absolutely horrible. Way to prioritize. Annie’s mother, Jet (like the aircraft) wants them married so they aren’t living in sin. Jet actually says “Their cohabitation could ruin their family’s reputation”. I really doubt that this is going to be the final straw that destroys what people think of them.
Annie claims, like every other bride on this freaking show, that this is going to be the best Romney wedding ever. I am starting to feel like we are watching the same episode over and over. Well, it’s December and Annie has always wanted a winter wonderland wedding. It’s fate – or the powers that be at TLC who have rigged this entire thing.
Sondra Celli is on hand to help Annie with her perfect gypsy wedding dress. I love how Annie calls Sondra five days before the wedding. Every single thing that happens makes it more and more obvious that this show is completely rigged. Why are all these people waiting until the last minute? I doubt the camera crews just showed up one day and said ‘Who wants to get married?’
Seriously, you couldn’t have called a few weeks ago?
Anyway, Sondra is going to make the wedding dress and three bridesmaids’ dresses in silver, crystal and white. Her team will be working around the clock for the five days to make the perfect dresses. This involves some dude with a soldering iron. Sondra tells us that this dress will have elements they have never used before. I would say those elements are understated elegance and class, but I know what show I’m watching. This dress will light up, so Sondra has hired Barry the electrician. The design is “daring and potentially dangerous”, just like marrying your cousin.
The wedding party arrives to try on their dresses – hello velour sweat suits.
I feel bad for the poor one in boring brown. She is obviously the outcast cousin or something
Oh shit, one of the bridesmaids is Kayla – from the Big Fat Gypsy Thanksgiving. She is a cousin of Nettie (not the one that brushes with bleach). I knew it was too good to be true that it was a different family. Turns out that Kayla is Annie’s sister.
Ok, I am going to totally call bullshit on this. Annie says that she has heard that Sondra makes good gypsy dresses so she hopes it’s true. Kayla was there a month ago getting her Thanksgiving dress, so wouldn’t Annie have seen Sondra’s work first hand? I would think that Annie would have been at the Thanksgiving celebration. THIS IS SO FAKE!!!