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It’s time for the Big Fat Gypsy Thanksgiving preparation! They decide that the simplest way to get ready is for a dozen of them to go grocery shopping together. Mellie is riding around in a sit & scoot acting like an ass, knocking all kinds of shit over. The store manager or just the employee that drew the short straw comes over to tell them to stop.
After being scolded by the store employee, Mellie is lurking at the end of an aisle and Nettie snaps. She starts waving her arm and yelling like she is the feature guest on Jerry Springer. Properly shamed, Mellie waits out in the car and reflects that she can’t talk back to Nettie because she respects her. Quite the sentimental moment for our dear Mellie.
The moment has arrived for the lovely ladies to get their bling on. They are hard at work bedazzling every item of clothing they are planning to wear. I kind of wonder if they have a basement that is filled with nothing but rhinestones.
Mellie and another random relative are carrying plates of food and the relative drops a plate of ham. Everyone is upset and Mellie decides that she needs to show respect or everyone will be mad at her. By respect, I mean vagina, seeing as how she is again shaking her ass and gyrating.
Well, the dresses are on, the hair is set, and the limo has arrived – let’s give thanks! Mellie greets everyone with the obligatory ‘Big Fat Gypsy’ reference and the party starts. Gorger Chris shows up and Mellie clues us in that she is going to dump him after the party and he’ll probably be heartbroken. Or ridiculously relieved. Take your pick.
Because the party wasn’t quite big and fat enough, an uninvited guest shows up – Ammie’s brother Fightin’ Frank Small. He is still drunk from Morris and Ammie’s wedding and coldcocks one of the bartenders. Manager Sharon calls in the Po-Po and all hell breaks loose. Kayla wants to know if they all have to leave since Frank is being kicked out. Sharon says it’s up to the owner, who isn’t crazy and kicks all their asses out. Kayla is all kinds of pissed at Fightin’ Frank and also the venue, Heritage Hall. Two relatives tell us that the owner found out they were gypsies and started figuring out a way to get rid of them. So the owner hired Frank to sucker punch his own bartender. Completely plausible.
The morning after, the girls are in a reflective mood and looking back on their hardships. Don’t worry – there is a silver lining. Mellie didn’t make a crazy slut out of herself and may be willing to go back to her gypsy ways. We get a final shot of Mellie vacuuming and all is right with the world.
Well Gasmi, I hope you liked my first official recap. There were so many things to go over and I’m sorry if I missed anything! Please leave any comments below and I will make sure to respond!
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