Excuse me while I go off on a rant here (shout out to Dennis Miller, y’all!). Celebutart singers and actresses and sports figures ARE NOT ROLE MODELS. I have a child and I have standing orders among my friends to shoot me if I ever start spouting nonsense like “Lady Gaga should put some clothes on while she sings, she’s my little girl’s role model!” A child’s role models should be parents, relatives, scientists, teachers, etc. Not some stupid pop singer. I really wish we would stop all this morality policing among our celebrities. They exist to look pretty and give us something to gossip about, not to model appropriate behaviour. That’s the parents job! Grrr, that shit drives me absolutely insane.
Back to the show. So Juliette is feeling like shit and she takes it out on her mom. I have no negative feelings about this whatsoever because CrackMom deserves whatever Juliette lashes out at her. You can’t make up for being crack-absent from Juliette’s life for years by taking a shower and making some KD. Juliette snaps and dumps CrackMom’s bag out on the floor looking for stolen goods and drugs.
Juliette doesn’t find any drugs but she does find a picture of Juliette as a baby, cuddled up and sleeping on Mom.
It’s very sad and naturally Juliette completely breaks down but I have to say, carrying around one tattered photo of one happy memory does not erase the YEARS of bad decisions and absent parenting. It’s not hard to cart around one photograph. Showing up every day in your child’s life is hard. Providing consistent, loving and cheerful parenting day after day after day is hard.
Gunnar wakes up next to Haley (aka Flirtypants). I’m so happy he’s gotten laid. Naturally, I want him to end up with Scarlett making music and babies together but for now, while Scarlett sorts her shit out, I want him to get some action. And Haley doesn’t irritate me, so YAY!
Juliette’ s publicist is prepping Juliette for her GMA interview. She mentions previous celeb scandals: Winona and Lindsay. Juliette understandly pops off.
“I didn’t rob Saks (thirty years ago). I don’t have three DUIs”
I completely agree with Juliette here. Winona had mental issues (and it was like, 10 years ago! Why are people still talking about it?), Lindsay has entitlement and drug issues. Juliette is not at all on their level of fuckupness. The thought just struck me…is this plotline some kind of subversive commentary on how ridiculous and out-of-control our coverage of celebrity has gotten? I know more about Lindsay Lohan’s legal triumpsh (‘cause seriously that trash bag should be in jail right now instead of stinking up New York or wherever she’s resting her pulled and ‘toxed head these days) than I do about Mitt Romney’s political platform and that is just plain fucked-up.