Yes, dearest gasmii, I am a terrible person. It’s true, just look up my CSIS file (I’m a national disgrace). But I’m also a working mom (like there is any other kind?) so my free time is limited to bathroom breaks and I don’t quite get wifi in the can. Luck has struck in the form of a mild cold and I’m home from work and baby is home from daycare. So while she’s nappin’, I can get to recappin’. Let’s do this shit!
We open with Rayna in the studio singing her poor, broken heart out proving how much a professional she is and how much she values her career and her business relationships. She’s not off licking her wounds over Teddy’s clusterfuck of messing up their lives, she’s working! Looking good while doing it! While three pasty white guys try to groove to the rhythm in the background. The four of them snark a bit on where Juliette is and why is she so late.
Our darling white trash heroine is late because SHE JUST GOT MARRIED!!!! Hooray the writers did it! And so did Juliette and (Ex)VirginFootball Star. He interrupts their sexy times to suggest they tell people. Juliette hilariously asks “Like our managers?” I love this girl. She is so alone – no friends, no family but she just has so much drive and ambition. And she is wearing the hell out of that gorgeous white dress.
Already planning the divorce press release in her head, I bet.
Gunnar and Scarlett excruciatingly try to write a song. Gunnar is in 100% asshole mode. Like, he even says it’s hard to write songs when the lyrics are so bad. And he just smirks when Scarlett asks him what’s wrong. That is the most douchiest, tenth-grade boy move EVER.
While they are snipping at each other, it comes out that Avery is moving out. Scarlett storms out of the writing room, almost knocking into Hailey, who hilariously intones “Excuse you.” I really hope the writers find another story line for Hailey. I don’t want her to go anywhere.
Avery is busy signing his soul over to the Devil. Suge Lite is telling Avery to dump his old bandmates and that he doesn’t owe anyone anything, except of course him.
Why doesn’t Avery realize how asinine and creepy this guy is? Oh right, because Avery has let his pride and ambition blind him to the most obvious things.
Oh my fucking god, I hate this subplot – Deacon joins Aerosmith…
I just want to reach into my tv screen and pull that fedora off his greasy little head. What a tool.
Long story short, the lead singer is a crybaby who thinks Deacon is stealing too much of his spotlight. Subtext, he’s scared of Deacon’s talent and that when he plays, he simply shows how much of a talentless hack everyone else is. Yawn. I’ll pay attention once this asshole starts drinking again and kills himself in a DWI or accidental overdose.
Even worse is the subplot of this chacha reporter who has a “history” with Deacon. I hate her. Don’t know why just do.