Yes, dearest gasmii, I am a terrible person. It’s true, just look up my CSIS file (I’m a national disgrace). But I’m also a working mom (like there is any other kind?) so my free time is limited to bathroom breaks and I don’t quite get wifi in the can. Luck has struck in the form of a mild cold and I’m home from work and baby is home from daycare. So while she’s nappin’, I can get to recappin’. Let’s do this shit!

We open with Rayna in the studio singing her poor, broken heart out proving how much a professional she is and how much she values her career and her business relationships. She’s not off licking her wounds over Teddy’s clusterfuck of messing up their lives, she’s working! Looking good while doing it! While three pasty white guys try to groove to the rhythm in the background. The four of them snark a bit on where Juliette is and why is she so late.
Our darling white trash heroine is late because SHE JUST GOT MARRIED!!!! Hooray the writers did it! And so did Juliette and (Ex)VirginFootball Star. He interrupts their sexy times to suggest they tell people. Juliette hilariously asks “Like our managers?” I love this girl. She is so alone – no friends, no family but she just has so much drive and ambition. And she is wearing the hell out of that gorgeous white dress.
Already planning the divorce press release in her head, I bet.
Gunnar and Scarlett excruciatingly try to write a song. Gunnar is in 100% asshole mode. Like, he even says it’s hard to write songs when the lyrics are so bad. And he just smirks when Scarlett asks him what’s wrong. That is the most douchiest, tenth-grade boy move EVER.

While they are snipping at each other, it comes out that Avery is moving out. Scarlett storms out of the writing room, almost knocking into Hailey, who hilariously intones “Excuse you.” I really hope the writers find another story line for Hailey. I don’t want her to go anywhere.
Avery is busy signing his soul over to the Devil. Suge Lite is telling Avery to dump his old bandmates and that he doesn’t owe anyone anything, except of course him.

Why doesn’t Avery realize how asinine and creepy this guy is? Oh right, because Avery has let his pride and ambition blind him to the most obvious things.
Oh my fucking god, I hate this subplot – Deacon joins Aerosmith…
I just want to reach into my tv screen and pull that fedora off his greasy little head. What a tool.
Long story short, the lead singer is a crybaby who thinks Deacon is stealing too much of his spotlight. Subtext, he’s scared of Deacon’s talent and that when he plays, he simply shows how much of a talentless hack everyone else is. Yawn. I’ll pay attention once this asshole starts drinking again and kills himself in a DWI or accidental overdose.
Even worse is the subplot of this chacha reporter who has a “history” with Deacon. I hate her. Don’t know why just do.
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Re CrackMom: She’s in treatment, so I’m betting that she is clean…for now anyway. Having been in her shoes myself 27 years ago (and counting!), I gotta say that most women in very early recovery still look pretty messed up and we don’t help the look by doing our makeup in ways that don’t flatter us. We just don’t know any better yet. I recognized a lot of the sober-babble advice she was giving her daughter and thinking, “Yep, she’s a newcomer to recovery.” We just like to share what we’re learning as we trudge the road to happy destiny.
Sourcake, I totally agree with you about Deacon’s story line with the revel kings. I don’t like it at all. On the plus side, he looked incredibly hot this ep. Don’t know what he is doing, but it is really working for him.
@ChaCha – you nailed it. Congrats on 27 years – I’ve got 3 1/2 under my belt, and I was NOT a pretty picture in those early days!
My heart broke for Juliette in that last scene. I really wanted to Sean to fight for her and force her to talk about her emotions. But I do think that now she’s starting to realize that maybe her life isn’t as full and perfect as she thought it was.
I’m from nyc and I know Mayor Corey Booker from Newark. IDK if that counts though because that city is always on the news in our area for being terrible but Corey Booker is lie the most amazing Mayor ever! I fell in love after Hurricane Sandy happened and he let people who lost power go to his house to shower and use his electricity and ordered food for them while every other mayor (coughBloombergcough) just went around and talked a lot.
back to the recap
I am loving this show. It is very Friday Night Lights to me in that all the characters are realistically flawed and yet you just still love the hell out of them. Plus Connie Britton is always always always a vision. Hayden Pantierre always looks gorgeous too. I love the clothes on this show.
Oh did anyone else see the connection between Red Lips and White Lies with Taylor Swift’s newest album Red??? I definitely did and did not think that was an accident. The lettering is done the same and everything.
I don’t know if she is a ballerina but she is a classically trained vocalist, as in opera.
Nashville once had a mayor named Bill Boner (honestly, that was his name), and he was both engaged and married at the same time. I remember him being on Donahue. The alt-weekly newspaper gives out Boner Awards for all of the stupid things local politicians say and do.
Thanks for the great recaps.
I didn’t want to, but I definitely have a little crush on Liam.
He is so entertaining.
But I’d rather him have a thing with Juliette than Rayna….I know he seems to hate Juliette and he isn’t her favorite either (especially after that laying down on the stage stunt), but I feel like somewhere under all that disdain and mockery, there’s some attraction.
Or maybe I’m just projecting.
Also, as much as I like Juliette, I have no doubt that a fraction of her money was made on her back, especially because music is such a male-dominated industry and when we met her, sexuality was the first and most finely honed tool in her arsenal for getting what she wanted. Sexuality and bitchery, but mostly sexuality.
Anyway, it’d be naive to think that she made it from the trailer park to where she is now without spreading em for one VIP or another.
Tebow was right to seek an annulment…J. only married him to get back at megabitch and to snatch his virtue.
And I think Crackmom looks way better after a little bit of time in rehab.
Her skin and eyes are brighter, and her hair is actually brushed. Plus she makes sense when she talks.
I think for Lamar, it doesn’t matter what the prize is; he just doesn’t like to lose and will do whatever it takes to make sure that he doesn’t.
Rayna’s kids could ask him to help them with a lemonade stand, and he would arrange drive-by shootings at all the other lemonade stands in the neighborhood. Fuck that, all the other lemonade stands in Nashville would get shot-up. Just to make sure his endorsed lemonade stand wins.
So happy that Deacon is no longer a Revel King.
I hated those fuckers.
@chaosbutterfly – I hadn’t considered Liam with Juliette, but now that you bring it up, I am so on board. I think he might be good for her – at the very least he would call her on her shit.
I don’t like Liam with Juliette. Just too cliche and also she should not get all the guys for goodness sakes!
Hi,
I’m glad we were able to make you pee yourself laughing.
I enjoyed my brief time on the show and as far as being called an Ape by you,
I’ve been called much worse!